“Well, Andrew Randall and David Gibson have a cousin who was working at your parents place. When you came home he was there to see it and immediately texted Andrew letting him know. We’ve arrested him and David will be going back to a mental facility under high security watch.”
“Thank you so much Detective,” I tell him, so glad that it’s finally over. I don’t want to think about this anymore. I’m eager to get home and slide into bed. When I think of home I don’t know where that is for me anymore. I’m free to go home, to my own place and while I know it’s essentially “safe,” it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. I’m going to have to get a realtor and put it on the market. I can’t run back to my parents, I want to be treated as an adult then I need to start acting like one. I really want to go to Reid’s place but I’m not sure if I’m welcome there anymore so I stand there, feeling lost and out of control and I don’t like that feeling.
“I’d like both of you to come over so I can talk some stuff over with all of you present,” Reid says in a solemn tone.
“What’s up man?” Carter looks intrigued and worried.
“Nothing to worry about, just something I should have talked to you about a long time ago.” The three of them nod at one another and then we leave the interrogation room and out into the fresh air. We get to Reid’s truck and he helps me in, running around the front of the vehicle before getting in himself. He looks over at me and sees the look of indecision on my face.
“What’s up Peanut? You look worried.” I blow out a breath and look at him biting my bottom lip before deciding I just need to spit it out.
“Can I come to your place?” I twist my hands in my lap, worried about what he’ll say.
“Hey,” he says grabbing my chin in his hand, “You never have to ask. My place is your place and I want you to feel comfortable there.”
“Even after I just took off?” I look at him in disbelief, surprised he still wants something to do with me after everything.
“Especially then Peanut. I love you, no one would judge you after being put in that situation, I get it,” he rasps out. I smile happily and look out the front window. Reid reaches over and puts his hand over mine, holding my thigh and giving it the odd squeeze. I’m wondering why he wants us all at the house.
My nerves are shot, but it needs to be done. I decided I’m going to sit down and talk to my brothers about everything that had happened to me. Savannah might be a tiny woman but she packs a lot of courage in that tiny body and it’s because of her that I decided to talk to Deacon and Carter. I pull the car into the garage, closing the door behind us before turning the car off and turning to Savannah.
“You ready?” I watch as she nods so I unclip her belt then get out and come around to her door gently lifting her down till her feet touch the ground.
“C’mon,” I say pulling her by the hand into the house. I go straight to the kitchen and get a bottle of wine and a glass for Savannah before heading to the living room. I get her comfortable and situated before heading back to the kitchen and grabbing three beers for me and my brothers. My hands have a slight tremble to them, the only outside sign that my nerves are getting the best of me. My brothers always have my back but I’m not sure how they’re going to take what I’m about to tell them. I decide that this situation may call for some shots as well so I grab the bottle of whiskey and some shot glasses and bring them into the living room. We don’t have long to wait before I can hear them coming in the back entrance talking quietly to one another. Carter throws himself into the reclining chair while Deacon slumps down in the corner of the couch. Both reach for their beers at the same time and take note of the shot glasses with Deacon quirking his brow at me in question.
“Thanks for coming guys. I called you all here to tell you about something I should have talked about a long time ago.” I’m standing up at this point, pacing back and forth my throat tight with emotion.
“What’s up man?” Carter looks concerned and sits forward in his chair his elbows on his knees.
“You’ve got us curious man,” says Deacon his brows furrowed. I look to Savannah and she looks concerned as well, her poor swollen face looking so sore.
“I owe Savannah a huge thank you, because if it wasn’t for her I doubt I would have the courage to tell you what I’m about to.” Savannah immediately drops her eyes to the ground, not liking to be the center of attention.
I need to just spit it out and stop dancing around it so I take a deep breath and let it out, stopping suddenly before just blurting it out.
“Connor’s dad used to sexually assault me whenever I’d go sleep over,” I spit out hurriedly watching their faces carefully.
I shiver with revulsion as I think of Connor’s dad, Steve and that damn tent in the basement and start talking. “He used to take me to their basement, whenever I was at a sleepover. I always had trouble sleeping, so it was just the two of us hanging out and passing time. At first, nothing inappropriate happened, but then, it all changed. It started with the odd look or touch, a caress with his sweaty, clammy hands. He would tell me he knew I was different than the other kids, and that’s what attracted him to me. To ensure I wouldn’t out him, he threatened to hurt Mom and the two of you and I couldn’t take that chance. What happened in that basement was so horrible, there is no way I would ever tell another soul. I could never humiliate myself like that. I’m just glad I could keep him away from you guys, and from Mom and Dad. He destroyed me, it wasn’t necessary to destroy all of you too.” I hold my hand up, asking them to wait. “There’s more.” I see them shaking their heads but no one says a word.
“Connor and I were hanging out one night and he had stolen two beers from his dad’s garage and we’d gone to our tree fort.” I remember that our bodies were just starting to change, our voices getting deeper, growing facial hair and body hair yet we were kids on the brink of adulthood. For once it had been just the two of us, with our siblings being at sporting events or play dates. “We’d built a small fire and opened the tabs of the piss warm beer and got drunk off of one. We’d just hit puberty, so emotions were high and heated, add a bit of alcohol to the mix and you get a brawl, especially between two teen males. I remember being so angry about Steve and taking out that anger on Connor, plowing my fist into his face, breaking his nose in the process.” I see Deacon and Carter nodding their heads, as if saying that they too would have reacted that way. “Connor didn’t understand what happened, or why I would punch him. I couldn’t hold it back, I screamed out what his Dad was doing to me, in that stupid tent in the basement.” I remember my own mouth had dropped open in shock that I had said anything, but I held my ground and stared at Connor, my eyes wide. Fuck, why had I said anything to him? Now it will always be different between us! I almost lose my train of thought when I feel Savannah’s hands squeeze me tighter telling me she’s behind me in every way. I squeeze back, happy to have her support as I didn’t even realize I was shaking.
I get lost in my story again and continue.
“Wait . . . what? No. . . . no. . . . not you too,” Connor whispered hanging his head, shoulders hunched forward, blood dripping down his chin and onto the dirt below. “At the time I just thought, NO. . . . Oh shit. Him too? We’d both slumped down where we were standing our minds unable to comprehend the truth.
We’d bonded that night, getting closer than ever knowing we were both survivors of his dad’s proclivities. Both of us thankful it had never gone beyond touching, because even touching was too far.”
My throat closes with emotion as I tuck Van into me, appreciating her unfailing support. I look at Carter and Deacon, wondering what they’re thinking and start frowning when I see Carter with his mouth moving soundlessly all color leeched out of his face.
“But, wait . . . what? I let him do that to me so he wouldn’t hurt you or Deacon. I don’t understand.” I look at Carter in shock and then walk over to where he is and pull him into a brotherly hug.
“He said the same to
me. We were kids, you need to forgive yourself,” I tell him just realizing for myself how true those words are and I should heed them too.
“I’m assuming you didn’t tell mom or dad?” Carter stares at me with an inquisitive look on his face.
“No,” I tell him gruffly, “I didn’t want to hurt them, so they don’t know anything.”
“Now I understand the need for the shot glasses,” he says in all seriousness.
“Let’s sit down and have a few, shall we?” I turn to sit on the couch and pull Savannah with me, curling her into my side. I notice Deacon isn’t in the room when Savannah speaks up.
“He said he had to leave, something to do with work.” I nod my head and pour two shots before looking at Savannah in question who nods her head eagerly, clearly needing a shot herself. All three of us hold our glasses up while I say a small toast.
“To strength and family and no more running.” Carter and Savannah repeat the toast before we all toss back the shot, the fiery liquid burning a path to my stomach. We sat and chatted for several more hours, waiting for Deacon to come back but he never did. Savannah had curled into my side and fallen asleep, the liquor likely aiding in calming her down. She’s had so much to deal with, my heart pinches when I think of what she’s gone through. I plan on treating her like a queen and I don’t want her to worry herself about what I think. I’ve been through what she has so I understand where that fear and need comes from. I’ll do whatever I can to erase those bad memories and make new ones. Good ones.
I was so proud of Reid for talking to his brothers the way he did. I know what it took for him to do it, having just gone through it myself. I’m glad he’s going to be the one to talk to my parents, I can’t do it and see their faces. I know I shouldn’t feel shame, that none of it was my fault, but I feel shame regardless.
I truly feel like a cloak of concrete has been lifted from my shoulders and for that I’m grateful. I’m glad that maybe Reid and Carter will find some measure of security in knowing the two of them went through all of this, but that it wasn’t in vain, it brought them closer together. I do worry about Deacon though, having seen his face when Carter confessed, he’s definitely hiding something.
I wonder if we’ll ever find out what it is, Deacon holds so much of himself back.
I shake off the gloomy thoughts and turn over in bed, curling into Reid’s side, tangling my tiny ice cold feet in his legs and breathing deep, centering myself.
I’m where I belong.
So much has changed in the last six months. I sold my place and have been living with Reid and never once regretted that decision. We’ve been getting along so well, with no further tantrums from my end. Like promised, we talk things through and work them out together, no more running.
I’m just putting the finishing touches on my makeup before I need to slide into my dress. Christmas Eve is at the King residence and I’m looking forward to it. Our parents have met several times and I’m so pleased they get along.
“Damn,” Reid growls from the doorway, “You look fucking delicious. I say we say fuck it and stay in, celebrate ourselves.” I giggle and sashay over to where he is leaning against the door jam, tugging on his tie before I lick my lips and pull him down to me for a kiss.
“Behave and I’ll let you unwrap an early present later,” I tell him breathlessly while looking up at him from beneath my lashes.
“Fuck later, I want to unwrap YOU,” he rasps in his gravelly voice.
“Well damn, there goes my surprise,” I say tartly.
“Really? You can’t tease a man like that Peanut. I cannot WAIT to unwrap you. What the hell is under that dress?”
“Ah, ah, ah,” I say wagging my finger in his face. “Later. Now let me just put the finishing touches on my lips and then I just need my shoes and we can go.”
Suddenly his hand grips my neck and pulls me to him before he mashes his lips to mine, thoroughly plundering my mouth.
“There,” he says in a satisfied voice, “NOW you’re ready for lipstick.” I laugh and shove him into the bedroom sending him hunting for my shoes that should keep him busy for a few minutes. I hurry to put on my lipstick and throw it and some powder into my clutch before finding Reid who has my shoes dangling from his fingers.
“C’mere Peanut, let me help you with your shoes,” he says pulling me onto the bed beside him. He bends down on his knees and grabs my calf in his hands slipping my feet into the shoes, giving me one last caress before sitting beside me.
“I have an early present for you,” he says quietly pulling a jeweler’s box out of his pocket and handing it to me. My hands are shaking as I untie the ribbon and slowly pulling the lid open to reveal gorgeous diamond earrings.
“Oh Reid,” I breathe out, “They’re beautiful. I’m going to wear them right away.” My hands are fumbling as I pop them into my ears, ensuring the backing is on tight so as not to lose them. I throw my arms around Reid’s neck and pepper his face with kisses.
“You spoil me! But I love it,” I say with a grin causing him to laugh out loud.
“Alright let’s go,” he says pulling me down the hall and into the garage before ensuring my seatbelt is on before getting into his own seat. He’d gone over earlier today bringing all the Christmas presents so this evening all we had to remember was ourselves and for that I’m grateful. This is the first big family gathering and I’m nervous. There have been some smaller events like the fourth of July and such, but Christmas is a big deal.
“You’re overthinking,” he says to me, always so in tune with my moods. I turn to him and grab his hand, bringing it to my mouth to kiss.
“I know,” I tell him simply. We chat comfortably for the next ten minutes or so before pulling up to his parents place. They have a cute ranch style home in the suburbs and it’s been decorated to the nines with white twinkle lights—lighting up the house like a winter wonderland. I smile when I see it, finding pleasure in simple things knowing it can be the smallest thing that can change your life on a dime. Reid comes around and pulls me out of the car, tucking me into his side as we walk to the front door. He doesn’t knock, just walks on in.
“Hey Ma,” he shouts out, “We’re here.” I roll my eyes at him and let him take my jacket, watching as he hangs it in the closet.
“Oh there you are,” Mrs. King says grabbing Reid in a big hug before turning to me and pulling me into her arms and squeezing tight.
“Come on in, make yourselves comfortable. Reid, head into the kitchen and help me with something would you dear?” I’m ushered into the living room and sit down on the couch saying hello to Deacon and Carter and Mr. King. Mrs. King comes in carrying a tray with an ice bucket on it and champagne flutes. There is a bottle of champagne chilling in the bucket, condensation running down the neck of the bottle.
“Everyone I need your attention please,” Reid says. He’s standing in front of the fireplace with one foot on the hearth as he leans against the mantel looking sexy and oh so casual. I know better, he’s up to something, there’s no denying he’s got his sneaky face on.
“As you all know Savannah and I met about six months ago and when she walked into my life, she changed me. Made me a better version of myself and loves and accepts me for who I am. This woman packs more courage into her tiny body than most men I know and she’s taught me so much about owning my own destiny.” Suddenly he looks at me and clears his throat, looking nervous before dropping down to one knee. Oh my goodness. What is happening here? Is he. . . . .? Before I can finish my thought he speaks.
“Savannah, I love you. You have brought sunshine and happiness to my life. You taught me that I do deserve love and happiness. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” With those words he flips open the lid of the jeweler’s box reveal a square cut diamond surrounded by tiny diamonds on a white gold band. My hands fly to my mouth on a gasp, I’m overwhelmed. I see that he is waiting for a response, a small bead of sweat on his forehead the only sign of his nerves. The poor m
an.
“Yes,” I tell him, putting him out of his misery, “Of course I’ll marry you. I love you.” I watch as he slides the ring on my finger and I’m shocked that it fits. I look at him in question and he shrugs and says, “Lacey.” I laugh out loud letting out a small snort and blush immediately following.
I hear a loud pop and see Carter has popped the cork on the champagne shouting, “Celebration time.” He fills each champagne flute handing one to everyone before raising his glass in the air.
“To Savannah! Welcome to the family sis. I’ve always wanted a sister and couldn’t ask for a better one. Salut.”
“Ditto,” shouts Deacon while we all laugh.
“I’d like to speak if I may,” this from Mrs. King. I’m nervous, my hands shaking wondering what she’ll say.
“I too wish to welcome you to the family. I always wanted a daughter, someone to talk to and confide in and I couldn’t ask for a better one. You’re the perfect fit for Reid and bring out only the best in him. I know I can’t take the place of your mom, and I wouldn’t want to take that away from you. I just want you to think of yourself as now having two mothers, because I’m in your corner.” Tears are flowing freely down my face as I rush forward and pull her in for a hug thanking her profusely.
Everything settles down after the big excitement and we all sit down and chat about anything and everything, catching up on each other’s lives. I look around the room, my heart pinching in my chest when I realize what they’ve all been trying to tell me for a while.
I’m home.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come clean. When Reid pulled us all together to talk about what Steve had done, I couldn’t open up and share. Like them I thought I was protecting them and I’m angry that it was for nothing. I have this insane need to hurt someone and the only thing that helps when I get in a mood like this is go to the gym and spar.
Recovered Love Page 20
