“Medicine can be exhaustive.” He heard Clarice comment upon, which brought his attention back to the world. “You need to be willing.”
“And what did you study?”
“I guess, and that a quite long shot, that it might have been something related to laws. I might be a lawyer.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I don’t know,” She replied with a chuckle. “But it occurs to me sometimes, and I get myself thinking about laws and cases and case-laws. The other day there was some news on TV and my mind jumped into it.”
“That’s cool. I think lawyers are neat.”
“Just do not believe what you see on TV. However, if you feel you have what it takes to go to Med school, then do it.”
Jason knew the reasons that took Marco to that career decision. Michelle had been a great doctor in life, at least until a short while before the accident. She gave up on the chance of a career in surgery when she decided to focus herself on her marriage and family, something she had always resented upon, and now that desire had transferred to her son, somehow.
And he supported it. He supported Marco on whatever he wanted to do, actually. In the past, he hadn’t been the best of dads, so the best way to make up for it was offering his son wings so that, soon enough, he’d be able to fly.
“He won’t bother.” Jason said as he passed by Clarice when they entered the trail.
He had noticed how she kept on looking around, trying to hide herself the best she could under the wool cap she had on. Wool cap that, once, had been Michelle’s. He tried to kick that thought away, afraid she could materialize herself in there again, a disturbed soul, though he couldn’t completely ignore Clarice’s fears.
“I know. I just don’t want to risk him seeing me. You’re here and I…”
“We know.” Jason said back, approaching a little more and putting his hand on her shoulder. “That’s our turn.”
The narrow trail became a risky slope, among exposed roots and partially buried boulders, already indicating the clearing to come a little below, still protected by the triangle-shaped treetops. The crackling of the dry and fallen pine needles created a pleasant melody as they descended, but also kept Jason alert to the fact anyone could get badly hurt if not paying attention.
The forest seemed to be dark, dense and grey. It was a feeling caused by the shadows and the almost completely covered sun, and yet it was not enough to bring Jason some peace, who recalled the horrible nightmare and was still fearing for his sanity as they moved further down. They were on the extreme opposite side from the one in his dream, but it didn’t mean much.
Another absence he noticed was the sound of prowling animals. Maybe that was not a good day for hunting, really. Or maybe the clearing and the spring were better places to observe around.
“Be careful. And try to move more quietly. Try to see if you can find anything.” Jason suggested, already straining his eyes around trying to find any sign of life beyond their own.
“I didn’t know this area,” Clarice whispered back at them, supporting herself on a fallen trunk while trying to follow Marco’s pace. “But my memory is not that reliable, either.”
“It’s a haven. More hidden and quiet, there’s no better option.”
“Then where are the animals?”
“Maybe hiding.” It was Marco’s turn to guess, also in a low voice. “They now when bad intentions come their way.”
Clarice’s foot failed to firmly stomp and she slipped, almost falling over Marco. Jason was faster and caught her before some tragedy could happen.
“Too bad we’re not like them.” Marco continued, oblivious to what had just happened behind himself.
Clarice smiled and put herself on her feet again.
“Thank you.”
And just then they realized how close they were. When he grabbed her, Jason brought her to his arms, creating a proximity between them that, so far, they hadn’t allowed themselves to. It had, in a way, happened, however on a fateful night with a nightmare that almost got her killed. Jason froze as he noticed their closeness, as he noticed her fresh breath mingling to his, as he noticed that one inch more and they could kiss, touch each other more deeply.
And she didn’t react. The aggression was now a part of the past. It hadn’t been intentional and she knew it. Perhaps she also knew about the doubts she had been planting on Jason’s mind lately, maybe she knew about the feelings that wanted to eventually come to light. Maybe she even had those feelings herself.
They stared at each other for endless seconds that felt like hours. And Clarice broke the moment, averting her clear green eyes to the opposite direction with a shy smile on her lips.
“You don’t… have to thank me. Let’s keep on moving, we still have ground to cover.”
The attempt to conceal his situation made it all much more embarrassing to Jason, who tried to smile and cough, as if ignoring the whole moment. Marco was way ahead and below and getting too much apart was not good.
The moved on. Not a single word was said about the moment. Jason was too shy to do so and Clarice seemed still lost, as much as before. Her gaze sometimes wandered into nothingness as she moved as if driven by a greater force, an auto-pilot sort of thing.
“I think we could stop over here.” Jason proclaimed as they reached a flat near the spring. They were still hidden amidst pines and bushes, besides the rocks around, but it was already possible to have a good view from the whole area.
And that view was magnificent. By far, they could see the spring in its wonderful waterfall, lined by rocky uneven walls and the pines, that seemed to line up to observe the beauty of those clear waters. Although it was much more pleasant to observe during summer, both because of the natural lighting and the comforting shining green, winter also had its own subtlety. The trees, in a greyish tone of blue and covered by snow, gave to the landscape an almost medieval look. The snow here had actually spread all around, ignoring the sun that still tried to appear and give them his grace. Jason stood a few seconds still admiring, inspiring himself, observing the majestic sight which transported him into a world that, besides himself, nobody else knew. And the beauty he saw was in the details, not only in the shining layer and in the fog on the water but also on the few signs of life he could already capture from there.
“It’s truly endearing.” Clarice said, trying to find a good place to be at. She decided to lean against a tree, while the boys organized their surroundings.
“I told you.”
“We were here the day you appeared.” Marco commented while removing his binoculars from his backpack.
Jason, on the other hand, decided to open the case that contained his recurve crossbow. Had he been a little more obsessed, he would’ve named his weapon. Maybe Carla. Or Michelle. It was an almost unique piece, only a few other around the world, almost tailor-made for him. Shoots of more than 100 meters per second, a beautiful scope set properly for his height and face shape, a trigger so smooth that felt like an extension to his body. The cocking stirrup, he knew, already had its own shape after so many years of usage. And still it looked freshly-acquired.
“Today you’ll learn how to use one of those.” He shot at her while placing the string at his crossbow, preparing it for use.
“A ballista?”
“A crossbow.”
“I thought real man hunted with the conventional bow and arrow.”
Marco laughed at it. Jason, although hurt by the attack to his manhood even in a joke, pretended to ignore the comment and smiled at her, in a condescendingly, yet playful at the same time.
“Nobody uses bows and arrows anymore, maybe on TV. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Clarice moved to him, always calm and sober, and Jason gave her the weapon. He showed her the stirrup and how she should place her foot, holding the crossbow vertically so that she could set the string and latch it.
“Then I pull it up with my hands? Seems hard.” She let it out in a sigh, tes
ting the tension strength of the crossbow string.
“That’s one option.” Jason said, giving her something she didn’t understand until he explained it. “A cocking rope.”
“People kill people with those in movies.”
Indeed, they did. Not only in movies, he though, while trying to demonstrate how she should use the rope. Jason acted the way she would put the string on the libs, how she would lock the two intermediate hooks on the main string and, finally, how she should pull it up.
“It demands strength.” He finished, moving away. “But you are a strong woman.”
She smiled at the compliment and shrugged, already preparing herself to try and repeat the demonstration he had just done for her a few seconds before. And she did it. After some struggle and Marco’s laughter, who almost believed she wouldn’t do it, Clarice managed to cock the gun ready to attack.
“Now,” Jason approached her again, holding one of the arrows in hands. It was long, sparkly… new. He delivered it to her. “The hardest part. Let’s try with one of those trees.”
“I’m not sure I’m up to it.”
“While you have fun with that, I’ll see if I find better place to find life near here.” Marco said, almost if immediately gone.
“Don’t go too far.” Jason yelled in response, though he knew Marco could work well in those areas. He turned back to Clarice. “Let’s learn it.”
He put himself behind her, his hands on Clarice’s arms, trying to aid her in lifting the crossbow and positioning it correctly.
“This part,” He showed the end of the crossbow that Clarice clumsily held against her shoulder. “You put against your face, eye level. That way…”
“… I can only see it through the scope.”
Yes. He beamed at her quick notion, and it looked like she was having fun while trying to observe everything around. Clarice, at times, looked away from the scope to see what was in front of her, perhaps confused by the sudden reality augmentation.
“Just put your finger on the trigger once you feel ready to shoot. Might be dangerous.”
“Got it.”
She took her finger off it, but let it close to the trigger anyway, something that made Jason doubt that was her first time dealing with that kind of weapon.
“You seem to handle shooting weapons quite well.”
She shrugged again, however trying to keep herself in position.
“Maybe I was not a lawyer, but a cop.”
“Maybe.” He replied with a soft giggle. “Now gently place the arrow on the groove right… here.”
She followed his signs, doing as he said. It was all ready and nocked.
“Consider the arrow and the crossbow body as a continuance to your body. When you move, you move your whole body, not only the arms or neck, be fluid.”
“I can try.”
Slowly, he turned Clarice a little to the right, an inch more to the left, until she was facing the tree ahead of them, without him even seeing what exactly she was seeing.
“I won’t have a target?”
“We can find something. Let’s see…”
Jason left her in position and went to look for something that could help them; he removed one of his gloves – they were red and one could serve them as a target. He also though it would be easy to put it against the trunk of one of the pines, making it easy for Clarice to--
Whoosh.
He felt and heard the hissing of the air pass close to his face before it sank into the pine trunk a few feet ahead of him. At the same time, he felt his heart freeze for some seconds and, then, pump adrenaline through all his limbs, giving him an uncontrollable and agonizing tremor.
When he turned, he saw Clarice, who faced him without reactions, terrified.
“God, Jason… I didn’t want to…”
“It’s ok. I just… I just almost lost my ear, maybe my head… I’m fine, though.”
Then he looked at the arrow, static and perfectly straightened into the pine trunk. He didn’t know exactly what to do, he just couldn’t move. The shot had been extremely close and he knew very well what that projectile would have done in case he had moved a few inches to his left.
It was not her fault. He reassured that in his mind, disregarding the warning he had just given her along with the precautions. It was an accident.
Even though he was tired of using ‘accident’ as an excuse for many mistakes and troubles, that had been merely an accident, truly.
Clarice dropped the crossbow on the ground, careful not to break anything, and ran to Jason, hugging him.
If he well recalled it, that was the first affectionate hug without tears or sobs between them. Regardless of having experienced what was it like to die for a split second, he cherished Clarice’s reaction, the demonstration of affection and closeness he didn’t expect to receive so soon after what had happened.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want… I’m sorry.”
“Clarice, it’s all…”
And he turned speechless when her lips pressed against his.
It was not a long or cinematographic kiss, most of it due to Clarice’s noticing the erroneous impulse of her body, but that smooth and silky touch was enough to rekindle a lifeless flame inside of Jason. His heart, before in despair and fear, settled down and beat calmly, reflecting it upon his muscles, which followed the same tranquil pace. A saving kiss. After all the tragedy, all the drama, all the fear and desperation, hallucinations and insanity. She saved him with nothing more than a kiss.
He took a deep breath before opening his eyes again, getting in response her frozen and green eyes that stared at him, lost and confused, somehow wet. It was all right.
“Jason, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s fine. I’m not complaining. I could’ve died, but…”
“Asshole.”
They both shared a nice laugh and an accomplice glance, a glance that only people who could understand each other without exchanging words had. He feared, for a brief moment, the feelings he had in his heart and mind. He couldn’t fall in love again. He couldn’t fall in love to a forgetful woman lost in his backyard.
But what if…
Noise from breaking wood and crushed leaves called Jason’s attention, but it was only Marco.
“I don’t think this is a bad day for hunting. It’s horrible.”
“Nothing around?”
“Nope. So,” He was talking to Clarice now. “Got to shoot it?”
“A little too well, I’d say.” Jason replied and they both laughed again, again in an accomplice way, but it didn’t seem to bother Marco.
One less thing to worry about.
The hunting day became more of a relaxing day of laughter, hot tea in thermos and snacks brought from home than a day of action. At last, Jason gave up on the idea of shooting defenseless animals and tried to enjoy the day off, giving himself to the enjoyment of the moment and the growing interaction between Marco and Clarice. At a certain point, the boy came up with a game in which he would try to guess things from her past while trying to make her remember something. An upside-down version of “Guess who?”
“You don’t even remember your childhood?”
Clarice shook her head, sitting cross-legged on the ground covered by an old blanket of Jason.
“Some details. I remember my parents, I guess. Some moments. But much of what I recall is too vague. Distant. It’s something like when we wake up in the morning without remembering what you’ve dreamt of and then, during the day, someone says something rather random to you, a flash goes on in your mind and you recall having dream of something related to what the person just said.”
“Have you tried Google? I’ve googled myself once.”
“Oh, really?” Jason meddled, laughing. “What did you find?”
“Amazing adjectives. And old pictures that should’ve even been published in first place. The internet is a very, very dark world.”
Clarice laughed and Jason got himself thinking about
it. How come he never considered that before? Almost every modern human being is on the internet, lost in the middle of thousands of useless posts and edited pictures, trying to get some recognition or simply a space amidst the bytes and abstract data through browser pages and phone screens. Clarice, who probably was a wealthy, educated and gorgeous woman, must have probably been in there too, somewhere.
“I don’t even know my last name. Or my hometown.”
“You almost don’t have an accent. You’re a bit New Yorker.”
“What do you mean?”
Marco smiled, not sure on how to proceed.
“I don’t know. Have you seen those New York ladies on TV? They are different. You look like one of them.”
“But, sometimes, you sound slightly British.”
“My father,” she responded, her eyes lost with no specific focus. One of those moments in which she seemed about to capture some memory floating in her mind. “I think my father is British. Was. Whoa… I think I remember his funeral.”
“Roots.” Jason complemented. “Always good to cultivate them. And I also think we should get going, since we have to think of what to eat later today since we’re returning with empty hands.”
“I agree.”
“I’m also tired.” Clarice stood up, collecting the blanket and stretching herself. “The time resting down has made me rusty. My body aches.”
Jason was also already tired, although they hadn’t spent not even half the day in the woods. Maybe he was just getting old. The gathered all their stuff and got ready to leave. If that clearing already gave him good feelings, after all that had happened that day, the feeling would be much better.
Before they said their final goodbyes to nature and headed home, Jason cast a last glance to Clarice’s pine. The arrow was still there, firmly stuck to the trunk with no intentions to leave so soon. He could have removed it and taken it with him, but perhaps the memory would be even better if he kept it as a part of the place, part of that history. Who knows? Maybe someday he would return there, find the arrow at the same position, though attacked by effects of the nature, and then he would remember that particular day. Yes, that would be more poetic.
The Woman Hidden Page 16
