Was it true? And if it was, why hadn’t Dr. Yunez mentioned the miscarriage? She thought of Senator Nobles and it made her sick to realize that what Bernice was saying was possible. Nobles had been single-minded in his pursuit. He would’ve made sure anything with the power of sullying his campaign went away. Including inconveniently pregnant radicals. “I’m sorry you lost a child,” Kara said yet secretly horrified at the thought of this woman being a mother. It was tragic how it happened but perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. “But you’re the one who put your child in danger when you tried to blow up the Smithsonian. I was just doing my job.”
“Oh, I know all about you and your work ethic,” Bernice sneered. “Kara Thistle, the hotshot darling who could do no wrong. You made quite a name for yourself at my expense.”
“I wasn’t in charge of your case,” Kara corrected from between clenched teeth. “It’s not my fault they chose me out of a hundred other agents who could’ve done just as good a job on that case!”
“But it was you. Lucky you. With your perfect face and perfect body…everything about you is just perfect, isn’t it?”
Kara refused to be drawn into an argument centered on vanity. She couldn’t help what she looked like any more than Bernice could help what she looked like.
For a moment, Bernice seemed lost in a spasm of grief but it was gone in a flash, just as her moments of lucidity came and went.
“My baby was all I had. And you helped take it from me. But now you feel the heartache, the rage, and I revel in it. Do you hear me? I revel in it!”
“You killed your father because he knew it was you, didn’t you?”
Bernice spat. “Meddling old man. A little too late to play daddy at this late stage in the game, don’t you think? Besides, he was going to tell the local yokel chief of police and I didn’t want to deal with the complication. But he made for a nice clue to leave behind.”
“So this is your grand finale? This showdown between me and you? This was what you killed all those innocent children for?” Kara asked, but as the words left her mouth she felt that cold prickle at the back of her neck again. Bernice offered a jackal’s grin and Kara backed away but kept her gun trained on Bernice. Kara’s look of disgust was plain on her face as she said, “You’re going to prison so you can’t hurt anyone else. Ever again.”
Bernice laughed, the sound sending ice splintering through Kara’s body. Then the woman pulled a small hand-held device from her pocket. “Sorry to disappoint you but I have no plans to go to prison. I’m not one for small, enclosed spaces. Given my history, I’m sure you understand. Any last words?” she asked, a grim smile on her face.
Kara’s breath stopped and she knew she was looking at a detonator. She was going to blow them all to hell along with her. “You don’t have to do this,” Kara said, stalling for a miracle. “You need help. You weren’t always like this, right? Remember when you had hopes and dreams, goals?” Her mind searched for a possible weak spot in the fabric of Bernice’s mind, something she could use to her advantage. “When you were a freshman…an architecture student. You were the top of your class…you don’t have to waste all that potential on death and destruction. Your mom moved you away from your dad and that militia gang to give you a better life. Is this how you repay her for that?”
“My mother is dead, therefore your statement is immaterial, but just for the sake of arguing, if my mother were alive, no doubt she’d be very proud. Before she went soft, she was a radical liberal who believed in something. Just like I believed in something and paid the ultimate price. Now you too will pay for doing what you feel is right. Your drive to catch the bad guy has landed you here, with me. Brav-o,” Bernice said, gesturing with the device. She narrowed her gaze. “Did you forget? I’m smarter than you. By about fifty IQ points. Your attempt at getting inside my head is pathetic. Just like your investigating skills. This is the end of the story and I get to choose how we all say goodbye.”
“The hell you do,” Kara muttered before taking a wild chance and plugging a single shot straight through Bernice’s brain.
Bernice’s body fell to the ground in a heap and Kara let out a shuddering breath as the device rolled harmlessly from Bernice’s dead fingers to stop against the leg of the end table. “The end, you psycho bitch,” she whispered, taking one last look at the woman who had wrecked so many lives. Turning away, she ran to where Matthew cradled Briana in his arms.
The terrified look in his eyes surely mirrored her own. “Is she?” she couldn’t say the words. They stuck in her throat like dried, day-old bread. Tears flooded her eyes. “Please say she’s still alive. I can’t take it if she’s not.”
“Barely. Air support should be here in two minutes.” Matthew looked at her through a veil of his own tears.
Kara choked down a wave of relief and fell to her knees beside her baby girl. Together they held Briana, willing their strength into her small body until they heard the whir of a helicopter landing outside.
Chapter 22
It was several days before Kara felt safe enough to leave Briana’s hospital bed. Briana suffered from dehydration, and her arms and legs were severely chafed from the rope. The drug Bernice had injected her with had nearly stopped her heart but Briana was a fighter and her heart had stubbornly refused to stop beating, even if the drug had made the effort sluggish. As a precaution, the doctors had suggested Briana stay in the hospital until they were certain the drug had completely passed from her system.
Kara rose and placed a soft kiss on her daughter’s forehead as she slept. She looked up to see Matthew standing in the doorway, watching them. She felt heat tingle in her cheeks as she rose and walked toward him.
“She’s asleep,” Kara said quietly, gesturing that they step outside the room. Matthew agreed though she could see the uncertainty in his gaze as they stepped over the threshold and into the bustling hospital hallway. Kara crossed her arms and rocked on her heels a bit, then said, “She seems a different kid lying in the bed. She looks older, more mature. I’d give anything to have her go back to seeing the world as a child does, full of wonder and possibility. Now there are shadows in her eyes that I can’t take away.”
“She’s a strong girl,” Matthew said, but she knew he shared her sadness at their daughter’s loss of innocence. “She’ll get through this. It’s a blessing she’s alive. Everything else falls by the wayside when you put it into perspective.”
“I know…it’s still hard.” Kara swallowed, then tackled another painful subject. “We’re leaving soon. The team cleared out this morning and as soon as Briana is given the okay by her doctor, we’re going to head back home to San Francisco.”
Matthew was silent for a moment. She stiffened as any number of defensive comments flew to mind as she pre pared to launch a tactical assault in response to what she knew was going to be a fight against her decision, However, when it didn’t come, she felt simply deflated. “Matthew? What are you thinking?”
His hands gravitated to his hips and a slow sigh whistled from his mouth as he answered, his voice full of disappointment that he couldn’t put words to. “You have to do what you feel is right. But so do I.”
“What does that mean?”
“Kara, what do you think it means? She’s my daughter, too. I’ve missed out on enough of her life. I don’t plan to miss any more.”
A pang of heartbreak made it difficult to speak so she nodded instead. “I understand. I guess we’ll work out a visitation arrangement. Weekends might be hard to arrange with my schedule but maybe a few times a month or maybe during summer vacation…” Her voice trailed as his look darkened and she knew this was a tragic situation that was never going to get easier. But what did he expect? She wasn’t about to give up her job for his convenience. If she wouldn’t do it for Neal…she swallowed hard…then she wouldn’t do it for Matthew, either. “We’ll figure something out,” she said hoarsely, then turned on her heel, eager to get away before she made a complete fool of herself. “Kara
…”
She was tempted to keep walking. Already tears were too close for comfort and she had plenty to do before Briana was discharged. But she turned stiffly, giving him at least that because she felt he’d earned it. “Yes?”
He crossed to her with long, purposeful strides and her heart quailed and fluttered like one of Bernie’s canaries stuck in a cage with a predator. But she held her ground, staring him down, daring him to take what he wanted and leave no prisoners, least of all herself.
His arm encircled her waist and pulled her roughly to him, his gaze devouring her with the intensity of a man who knew love and wasn’t afraid to grab it with both hands. His lips touched hers, kindling a fire deep inside her that burned and ravaged and made her want to run, and his words blistered her heart in the most unkind way.
“Briana’s not the only one I want in my life.”
She made to protest but it was weak and easily silenced as he whispered against her lips, “The choices we make follow us forever, dogging our steps until they catch up and brand us with their mark. The question is…what mark are you willing to bear for the rest of your life? I know my answer. Do you know yours?”
He inhaled her scent, eyes closed, and brushed his lips across hers one final time. Then he walked away.
Walking away was nearly as painful as it had been watching Briana struggle to breathe. But he knew Kara wasn’t ready to stay and he wasn’t ready to go unless she was going to embrace everything that it meant to be together. He wasn’t satisfied with stolen moments in each other’s bed, nor did he relish the idea of seeing his daughter once in a while when Kara found the time to meet him halfway for visitation. But he also knew that if he pushed, Kara would bolt. It was her M.O., her way of dealing with thoughts and feelings that scared her or made her feel uncertain. A control freak to the nth degree, she was as stubborn as she was beautiful. And he loved her. Bone-deep, gut-wrenching, holy-shit-I’d-die-without-her kind of love. And he’d waited this long, he supposed he could wait a little while longer for her to come around. And if she didn’t? Hell, he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.
Briana stared at the angry red welts on her wrists and slowly rotated them to ease the stiffness.
“Does it still hurt, baby?” Kara asked, concern chasing away the fatigue born from sleeping at her daughter’s bedside. “Should I call the nurse for some Tylenol?”
Briana shook her head, her eyes faraway and troubled. Kara ached to take away the pain, but she couldn’t, and the inability to ease her daughter’s heartache made her feel useless.
“I miss Mai.” Briana’s voice came out a croak as a tear leaked down her face.
“I know, sweetheart. I do, too,” Kara said, wiping away the tear gently and pushing a lock of hair from Briana’s face. “She loved you very much. And I know she misses you, too, wherever she is.”
“Is she going to come back as someone or something else?” Briana asked.
Kara considered her answer, not quite sure how to respond. She’d never had time for church and although she knew Mai had been a practicing Buddhist, she was unfamiliar with the ins and outs of her religion. However, Briana’s question told Kara that Mai had shared her beliefs with her daughter. The knowledge made her realize she’d missed out on more of Briana’s life than a few dance recitals and homemade dinners. “Um, what do you feel in your heart?” Kara asked, fighting tears.
Briana thought about it, then nodded slowly. “I think she would’ve wanted to come back as a bird,” Briana said softly. “She said birds were lucky because they could fly away from trouble if they needed to and they brought beautiful music into the world.” Briana nodded, mostly to herself. “Yes, she’d definitely come back as a bird.”
“Then you’re probably right.”
Briana was quiet for a long moment and Kara thought maybe she was tired so she prepared to leave her alone for a few minutes to go to the cafeteria for a bite. But Briana’s words stopped her.
“Mom…can we take the birds home with us?” she asked in a small voice.
“Birds?” Kara repeated, frowning. “What birds?”
“The birds that were at that place where the bad woman kept me.”
“The canaries? Why?” Kara was puzzled.
“They kept me company,” she whispered, and Kara nearly cried for the pain in her daughter’s voice. “The sound of their singing…it reminded me of Mai. And I thought maybe one of them was Mai…looking out for me.”
Kara’s heart was seized in a fierce grip as she nodded. “Of course we can, baby girl,” she answered, blinking against the moisture flowing from her eyes. “We’ll take them all.”
Chapter 23
It was the second time Matthew and Kara had worked out a visitation. This time Kara had traveled to Lantern Cove instead of meeting Matthew halfway. Briana was warming to him, although she was still reserved. Not that he blamed her. It was a lot to take in after such traumatic circumstances. But today, he had a present for her.
“I heard you were interested in taking guitar lessons,” Matthew said conversationally as he walked to his truck to retrieve her present. She trailed after him. “Did your mom tell you I started playing guitar when I was about your age?”
He glanced back at Briana and she nodded shyly. “She said you were really good.”
“She did, did she?” Matthew asked, sending a playful look Kara’s way, which she responded to with a blush.
“I may have said you weren’t terrible,” Kara said.
“High praise.” Matthew grinned.
He opened the truck door and pulled a Yamaha three-quarter size guitar, perfect for her small frame, from the truck and handed it to her. She gasped as she took the guitar gingerly into her hands and stared in delight. She turned to Kara. “Look what Matthew got me!”
He winced ruefully at the fact that she still didn’t feel ready to call him Dad but he was a patient man; he could wait. “What do you think?” he asked. “Think you can handle lessons on that baby?”
“I think so,” she answered, beaming at him. “Can I start now?”
“Sure, but wait,” he said, producing a pick from his pocket. “You might want to use this until your fingers get used to the strings.”
“Thanks!” She bounded off to sit in the sand where she could strum some experimental sounds.
“You’ll spoil her,” Kara said lightly.
“I mean to,” Matthew returned with a slight twist of his lips. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Is it too early to buy her a car?”
Kara gasped and gave him a mock punch in the shoulder. “You better not buy her a car or I will shoot you. I don’t even want to think of Briana behind the wheel for a very long time.”
“Me, neither,” Matthew said. “I want to savor every moment and draw each one out for as long as possible. Plus, I need to start saving for her college fund. She might have to wait on the wheels just yet.”
“Amen to that.”
They walked in silence together, enjoying the brisk air of the beachside park, and listened as the waves crashed on the shore. “How’s that pretty-boy Brit of yours doing?” Matthew asked casually, though he was truly concerned. The man had earned his respect, but Matthew would never admit it openly. Kara seemed to know this and smirked as she answered.
“He’s doing fine. Aside from a small scar on his cheek that he says makes him look dangerous, he’s good as new and just as much of a pain in the ass as he was before.”
“Well, I suppose it’s too much to hope that he might’ve lost those pretty-boy good looks through all this,” Matthew said half-seriously. “I mean, put a dress on the guy and he’d pass for—”
“A very odd-looking woman,” Kara finished, eliciting a laugh from Matthew.
“You’re right.” Matthew sighed. “Maybe he’s not that pretty.”
“I’ll pass along the sentiment,” Kara said dryly. “I’m sure Dillon would be flattered to know you’re not attracted to him. I think he said he was worried fo
r a while but to tell you that he doesn’t swing that way. Ever.”
“Neither do I,” Matthew growled. They sat beside each other on the flat side of a play structure and Matthew drew a deep breath, as he prepared to speak. He’d rehearsed his speech a million times as he’d lain awake in bed since Kara and Briana left Lantern Cove weeks ago.
“What if I moved to San Francisco?” he blurted out. So much for finesse. Kara’s startled expression prompted the rush of words that followed. “I want to be with you and Briana. I know you have feelings for me, beyond friendship, and I’ve had feelings for you since we were kids. I want to build a family for Briana, but I don’t want you to feel that you have to give up your life to come back to Lantern Cove so…I’ve put in an application for the San Francisco Police Department.” Kara’s look of dismay nearly killed his nerve to continue but he was already knee-deep in it and there was no sense in pulling back now. “I know I’m older than most new officers but I think with my experience I could be an asset to any department,” he said gruffly, betraying his insecurity about tearing up his roots and starting at the bottom with a new department. But he was willing to do it for Briana and Kara if only she’d say the word.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Kara said, the light in her eyes dimming. “It’s not fair to you.”
“Let me be the judge of what’s fair when it comes to my career. I want to do this. I want you and Briana close. I’m not saying we have to live together because I know we’re not at that place yet. But I know what I want and you two are it.”
“Matthew…I could never—”
“It’s my choice.”
“You’re only doing it because of us. Your life is here. We’ll make it work with Briana. As far as you and I…” She shook her head and his hopes plummeted. “I told you, I’m not the person you remember. And maybe I don’t want to be.”
To Catch a Killer Page 17
