"I'm glad that we didn't hit the pavement when you took some of those turns," she said truthfully. "And I guess it was a fun experience. I don't think I'd ever have another chance to get on a motorcycle, so I... I appreciate it. It was a good learning experience."
Clark snorted and hitched an eyebrow in a move she was now beginning to recognize as typical of him.
"You can deny it if you want, but I see that glint in your eye. You're like a kid on Christmas, peeping between the banisters to see the presents piled beneath the tree. But I'm not going to pull it out of you if you don't want to share it with me. It's no skin off my back." He shrugged and gestured towards the apartment's front door. "Now come on. I want to show you this."
His boots clapped heavily against the pavement of the sidewalk as he made tracks for the front door. Shawna watched, and then followed. As she approached the building, the graffiti across it became clear. Although the stuff tagged on the side was the act of delinquents, the paint across the window had been put there on purpose. The swooping letters and vibrant backgrounds, near invisible against the night, spelled out the name of a storefront that Shawna could only imagine was a restaurant. When Clark pulled open the front door and a bell chimed in time to it, Shawna knew she'd guessed right. The people that milled behind the glass were wait staff, and the lobby was stuffed with booths and tables at which patrons sat. One or two seats remained empty, but the place was otherwise overrun. She'd lived in the apartment literally down the street with Ben for years, and never had she known of a place like this.
"Welcome to The Rat's Nest," the hostess chirped. She had a tiny desk set up near the door. "Do you need menus tonight?"
"Nah," Clark replied. "I know what we're getting already."
Shawna couldn't believe how brash and presumptuous he was being, but even as she took mild offense, something stirred inside of her. It was exciting that Clark was taking control and forcing her to discover things she'd never even knew existed. When was the last time Ben had gone out of his way to do something romantic? Really, when she thought about it, the only time she'd thought about Ben that whole night was to drag him into a comparison against Clark.
It left her feeling guilty, but also incensed. All these years she'd been clear with Ben about what she needed from their relationship, and time and time again he favored networking and penny pinching to indulging her. Shawna was a reasonable girl with a good head on her shoulders, but she knew that he'd dropped the ball and dropped it hard. And now Clark was picking up where he'd left off.
The hostess led them to a comfortable booth with benches upholstered with red vinyl, and Clark saw her Shawna sit before he did.
"Do you take strange women to hole-in-the-wall restaurants on the regular?" Shawna asked once they'd settled. Clark spread his arms across the back of the booth, getting comfortable. There was a casual ease to him that spoke of a simple, but fulfilling life, as though he didn't have a care in the world.
"Only the prettiest ones," Clark replied. Shawna felt the heat spread across her cheeks, and she knew she'd turned red.
The waitress stopped by their table, and Clark gestured her over with a curl of his index finger and whispered something in her ear. The waitress grinned at him, glanced over at Shawna, and grinned wider.
"I'll be back in a second," she said, then disappeared into the back.
The more time that passed, the more Shawna felt that this wasn't just an excursion. Sitting here with Clark felt a lot more like a date than she was comfortable with. If she'd been single, maybe it wouldn't have been so scandalous, but with Ben waiting at home...
"Maybe I should get going," Shawna said. The thought of going and missing out on the excitement that Clark offered stung, but she was a good girl, and doing this to Ben was wrong.
"Stay just a little longer," Clark insisted. "You haven't even seen what I have in the works yet. Clark Upton doesn't disappoint."
Clark Upton. The name was vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it. Shawna shook the feeling and glanced at Clark from across the table.
"I heard that you just got back in town from out of state," she said. It would be no surprise to him that she'd been eavesdropping on his conversation. "So what are you doing visiting the gym and taking girls out instead of getting settled back in? I'd imagine you have to get your new apartment in order. Aren't you worried?"
There was a short silence. Clark's eyes narrowed like he was trying to figure her out, his head cocking just slightly to the side. The more he stared, the more self-conscious Shawna had become. All through her college days she'd been sure of herself and in control, and in her life as an alumni, she'd never hesitated to make a choice or succumbed to the pressures of life. And yet now Clark was disarming her like she was a little girl. How could he press all of her buttons like this?
"I don't worry about anything," he said. "Why should you worry? Whatever happens in life is going to happen, and there isn't much you can do to stop it. If you let go and roll with the punches, you're going to be a lot happier than if you spend your whole life with your head in the sand, scared of what the outside world's about to deal you. Truth is, your might feel like nothing can get to you like that, but your ass is poking out and ready for a spanking. I'd rather see the hits coming than bog my head down with worry. Do you follow?"
Did she ever. As he spoke, Shawna shifted uncomfortably in her chair and let it all sink in. She'd wanted to travel, to take risks, so see the world, and right now all she had was financial security and a dull life. Tonight was the first time in a long time she'd dug her head out of the sand, and it was only because Clark had yanked her from her stupor. For so long she'd been dreaming of others' lives with longing, but now Clark had begun to show her how to live the life she dreamed of.
"Yes," Shawna murmured. "I do."
"So that's how I get along. I've got a roof over my head, enough money in my wallet that I won't starve, and a trade I can make money off of whenever I need it. That's all I need."
He was so different from Ben. Shawna found her elbows on the table, chin in her hands as she listened. Clark had charisma. She recognized it well enough from her days in marketing.
"What is it you do, that you can get away and not have to worry?"
"I work at a garage. I can make any old junker purr again, cars or bikes, given the right parts. It means I can work anywhere, any time. There are always going to be cars that need to be fixed, and I'll be there to fix them. Everyone says you need to waste thousands to get a college degree to be successful, but I've been doing just fine on my own, no education necessary."
The blues of his eyes caught her, and he smiled.
"But I'm guessing that you're one of the college advocators, based on how you're dressed. Probably a good girl who's got a 401K and a pension plan. Nice house in the suburbs. I don't think you look like a mom, but maybe soon. But tonight, life led me to you. Doesn't matter how different we are; I'm going to enjoy your company as much as I hope you enjoy mine."
"I—" but before she could continue, the waitress arrived again with a tall, decorative glass typically used for milk shakes. Clark had ordered a float, the liquid in the glass a striking electric blue color. Generous scoops of vanilla ice cream sealed the top, and were buried beneath a spiral mountain of whipped cream. Gold flakes were shaken liberally on top, and given a second look, Shawna could see them glinting inside the blue drink. "Oh my."
"Enjoy," the waitress chirped. Clark slid her a folded bill, and she took off. Two straws, wrapped in plain white paper, sat beside the huge glass.
"For you," Clark announced. "My friend told me you were at the gym almost every day, and I thought it a shame a little skinny thing like you was all work, no play. Tonight you're taking a night off with me and living life to the fullest."
Clark gave her no choice in the selection, had neglected to tell her where they were going, and had her ride behind him without a helmet. This was what it was like letting go. Shawna bit down on her bottom lip and s
hifted back and forth on the bench.
"Well," Shawna picked up one of the straws and unwrapped it. The length of the straw plunged through the ice cream and into the blue liquid beneath, "this is a lot crazier than anything I've done since... Well, since my early days in college, probably. And that was a while ago. But I'm enjoying myself, and I'm enjoying you."
A genuine smile perked the corners of Clark's lips. Making him smile felt good, and Shawna felt herself ruffle with pride. She hid her joy by drawing upon the float. The blue liquid was sweet and fruity, and not quite like anything she'd had to drink before.
"I'm glad to hear that," Clark remarked. He left the second straw where it was, watching her as she drank.
"You know," Shawna said as she drew away from the float, "I've actually lived really close to this place for years, and I never knew it was here. It's crazy to think how much exists outside your door that you never know about."
"Because your head's been in the sand," Clark concluded for her. "If you take it out and take a look around, you'll discover wonders near and far."
"Yeah," Shawna said with a smile. Something warm curled in her chest at the thought. Clark had lifted her up out of the pit she'd fallen into, and now she was seeing the world like it was fresh. Being handsome just made the package all that much more irresistible. But even if she'd been single, Clark wasn't looking for a relationship. A man like that didn't want to be bogged down.
The rest of the night passed by in seconds. Clark told her of his travels, not only through the United States, but down into Mexico. Ten years prior, barely an adult, he'd backpacked through Europe and Asia. It didn't seem like there wasn’t a sight he had not seen. But time and time again, he returned to their city. What was keeping him there? He had no idea. But out of all the breathtaking places he'd been, and all the wonders he'd seen, there was nothing like returning to familiar city streets. His name had been familiar because she'd sold her car to him years ago, and he'd fixed it up and sold it for a profit. What a small world. Shawna drained most of the blue liquid while Clark hailed the waitress and have her bring over some spoons. He helped her eat what ice cream was left. By the end of it all, Shawna felt light headed and warm, more than his fantastic stories and interesting life views should have left her feeling.
"Was there... Was there alcohol in that?" she asked. Clark only grinned.
"The mysteries of life," he said with a laugh. "Come on now; let me drive you home. I'm sure your man is waiting."
Ben. The more they'd chatted about nothing and yet everything, the less Shawna had thought of the man she'd loved for almost nine years. Guilt curled in her gut and left her feeling uncomfortable, and for the first time since she'd started talking to Clark, she frowned. Ben was comfort and stability and what she knew, and as thrilling as Clark was, he wasn't the one who'd supported her all these years.
Supported? Maybe that wasn't quite right. Ben had been at her side, but he had been too busy supporting his own career advancement to really be there for her when she'd needed it. Shawna didn't dare linger on the thought; it was poisonous.
"It's not far," she said, slowly rising to her feet.
"That's fine. I don't live far, either. I'll drop you off and then head home. It's been a fine night, and I owe it to you to bring you back safe and sound."
Ever the crude gentleman. Clark stood and took her by the arm gently, leading her from the building. The hostess waved them goodbye, and they were out on the streets once more.
It had definitely been alcohol. On her feet she felt light and sparkling, cares gone. Yet Clark was there to keep her safe. They strode down the walkway and back to the street, and Clark hopped up on the bike and twisted around to help her up as well.
"A motorcycle," Shawna mumbled, rolling up her skirt without any hesitation. She could see how Clark's eyes followed the lines of her legs as she revealed them, but even had she not had a little buzz going, she wouldn't have cared. After what he'd done for her tonight, letting him look felt right. "I never thought I'd ride on a motorcycle. I think my mother would never forgive me."
Once her skirt was rolled up, Clark took hold of Shawna's waist and helped her over the bike. Once she'd settled against his back, her arms hooked firmly around his waist, he turned the engine and brought the bike to life.
"Mom doesn't have to know," Clark said. He kicked it into gear, and they took down the street much more leisurely than before. Shawna was easily able to give him directions, and when they pulled to a stop beside her building, Clark cawed a laugh.
"You're kidding," he said. Shawna hopped down from the bike much more sure than the first time, smoothed her skirt, and shook her head.
"No, this is where I live."
"Go figure," he muttered to himself, but did not elaborate. Clark killed the engine and disembarked, only to take Shawna's arm once more to lead her towards the front doors. The thick leather of his sleeve stuck against the polyester blend of her blazer. The bad boy she'd never thought she'd have the guts to talk to, let alone go out with, was taking her to her apartment door like they were freshmen in college. When they stood upon the landing, Shawna lingered. Clark had released her arm, but still she was hesitant to go.
"I had a lot of fun tonight," she brought herself to say. "It's something I'd never do otherwise."
"Yeah, same here." Clark was looking at her with his blue eyes. Beneath the shadows of the night they were hard to make out, but she remembered how beautiful they were. Beneath the dull overhead light of the stoop, she thought she could see glimmers of them, and Shawna found herself leaning forward slowly. The closer she got to Clark, the more heated she felt. In that moment there were no dreams of a big house with a white fence and good paying jobs. Instead, she dreamed of nights beneath the stars and the heat rising off the pavement beneath their feet. Travel. An unpredictable life. Clark was the guy she'd been looking for all along.
As their faces grew closer together, Clark's head tilted just slightly, eyes grinning at her.
"What about that man?" he whispered, the warmth of his words ghosting across her lips. It was only then that Shawna realized how close they'd really come. Her eyes were partially lidded, arousal stirring deep inside. "The man that you're going home to?"
Ben. Shawna drew back, shaking her head. Clark was right. She couldn't...
"Let's go in for the night, Shawna," Clark whispered. He opened the door for her and saw her inside, but when he followed, she knew something abnormal was happening.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"A twist of fate," Clark told her, voice low and poetic, "has seen me spend the evening with a girl that lives in the same apartment complex that I do. This is my home now, too."
No. Shawna's face paled a little bit. Clark had been a stranger but hours ago, and he was supposed to go back to being a stranger now. What she felt for him was temporary, and he was supposed to have faded from her mind to eventually be forgotten. If they lived in the same building and crossed paths often, that would never happen. She had to forget him — she had almost kissed him. If she didn't forget, then...
"Funny," she mumbled, wanting to flee. But no matter how fast she went up the winding stairs, it seemed he was right there behind her. When they turned down the hall on the same floor, Shawna's mouth went dry. Clark passed her and stopped at the door just across from hers, fitting a key in the lock and opening the door; he hadn't been lying.
"Well. I guess I'll see you later, neighbor," he said with a simple shrug and a devious smirk. Shawna felt sick with guilt. This was the place she shared with Ben, her own dreary reality, and yet her fantasy lived right next door. How was she supposed to sleep knowing that temptation lived so close?
"Goodnight," Shawna said sharply. She dug her key out of her gym bag and pushed her way inside hastily. Ben was sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in the space she would have sat. The television was on.
"You were out late," he remarked, eyes sweeping down her critically. "And were you talking to
someone out in the hall?"
"No," Shawna said quickly. Ben frowned, not buying it, and pried a little bit further with some more questions.
"I texted you a few times to ask where you were, but you never replied. In fact, I texted you five minutes ago. You always have your phone on you on your way home for safety. We've talked about that."
She hadn't even taken off her shoes yet, and already he was accusing her. Over the course of their long relationship, Shawna had never given him anything to worry about. She hadn't flirted with other guys, or acted suspiciously, and most of the time she didn't even go out without him. What gave him the right to go off on her like this? Hadn't she earned his trust by now?
"I got home safe, and that's what matters, isn't it? What's with this attitude?"
Ben rose from where he had been seated. He wasn't unattractive — his short brown hair and sharp nose were business like and intelligent looking — but she couldn't remember the last time he'd made an effort to look good for her. When work was done he stripped out of his suit and shrugged into the same old white t-shirt and blue plaid pajama pants he always wore, and when they went out he swapped the pjs for jeans. Now that he was comfortable with her, he didn't go out of his way to look presentable. How long would it be until his trim body started to gain mass until he boasted a beer gut? How long would it be before she'd walk in to find him sitting on the couch with a white tank top stretched over his stomach, the bowl of popcorn resting on it rather than on the seat next to him? The thought disgusted her, but Shawna tried to swallow it away. Ben saw the discomfort and capitalized on it.
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