I have seen what happens to some of these women and children who are rescued after being abducted for days, months and even years. They are never the same again. Would I be able to have a relationship with Forrest after this? Will he even want to after he hears what I have to tell him? I know I will never love another as much as I love him but I just don’t see any way around the issues I am bound to have if we made it out alive.
How would I feel if Jeremy died? I know I would be sad. It wouldn’t devastate me to lose Jeremy like it would Forrest but it would hurt nonetheless.
There are so many what ifs and ways things can go right and wrong for all of us. I am scared of them all. It is a scary thought to think about any of it. Why couldn’t life just be simple? Life has gotten so screwed up and I have no idea how to fix it.
As if life wasn’t already complicated enough, I think the birth control has failed again. I’m afraid of what will happen if Jeremy finds out. I don’t want to go through the same brutal beating I had last time when he found out I was pregnant. The pain I had to endure you couldn’t even imagine. The constant blows to my abdomen over and over to force an abortion was torture. I had thrown up continuously while tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. The bruises along my abdomen lasted for weeks it seemed while the pain lasted longer. My muscles were sore and my insides felt like they burst with every continuous blow. I lost the baby as blood flowed out of me and down my legs. I may not have wanted the baby to be Jeremy’s but I did want the baby.
Now I am in a similar predicament and I am afraid to go through the same excruciating pain as I had then. I don’t know how I am going to tell him or if I should but if I wait and he finds out, the baby will be further along and it will be even worse than the last time. But if I tell him now, and explain that I would love nothing more than to have a family, maybe he will have mercy on me and let me keep the baby.
***
As I look out of the balcony several days later, I search the outside of the fence for something to catch my eye. I don’t know what it is but I get the feeling as if I am being watched. Maybe not me specifically but it feels as if there are eyes peering in searching, watching, and plotting. Maybe the new guards that Jeremy hired just give me the creeps. I am not sure.
The feeling that something is coming, something big, is getting stronger as every day passes. Every day that draws closer to the meeting with Jeremy’s uncle, the more I feel like everything is going to come crashing down around me and I will lose everything. Not that I have much to begin with but it just feels like after this, my life will be changed forever once again.
“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Jeremy slides up behind me pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. I have already mentioned my fears once before and I feel as if he wouldn’t want to hear about them again.
“When you have your meeting with your uncle, can I stay in my room? I have a bad feeling and I would feel much safer the farther I am from your uncle.”
“Are you worried I can’t protect you?” He sounds miffed.
“I’m worried that this is a trap. I’m sure you could protect me but I don’t trust him.”
“And you trust me?”
“Yes. With protecting me against someone else hurting me or taking me from you I believe you would protect me.” My heart and body are a different story. No matter my feelings for him, I know he could hurt me physically and emotionally.
“I see. And what is it you think my uncle is up to?” He seems genuinely curious and surprisingly isn’t angry with my fears.
“I believe he plans to ambush you.”
“Well he would have to get through my guards first. They will check him once he reaches the gates and escort him in. He will not be allowed to bring anyone else with him to this meeting so you have nothing to worry about.”
It does little to comfort me if he has people in place to take the guards out from afar. If I were to take back what I thought was rightfully mine, I would have my men outside far enough away and hidden but close enough to still take out those who threaten me but I don’t explain this because I doubt Jeremy would take what I have to say seriously. He already believes he has it all covered and I hope he is right. Maybe his uncle doesn’t have anything planned this time but it won’t be long before he does orchestrate an attack. If not this time then when Jeremy least expects it. He could just be using this time to get a feel for the layout of Jeremy’s guards and home. I have no idea if he has been here before so he may not know anything about the house or its landscape.
The fear of the unknown has my nerves on edge. I try to keep my fear from showing though as I turn in Jeremy’s arms and face him, wrapping my arms around his neck with a smile on my face. “You’re right. Everything will be fine. I don’t know why I was so worried.” Jeremy searches my face, probably to see if I am lying then looks past me into the distance.
“I would kill anyone who tries to cross me. I’m not worried.” I shiver at his threat.
To take our minds off the upcoming meeting, I lean in and press my lips to his before slipping my tongue between the seams and deepening the kiss. Jeremy grips me tighter into his embrace and pulls me back inside of his bedroom. Breaking the kiss for just a moment, he leads me to the bed and sits, pulling me to straddle him before sealing our lips in a deep kiss. Jeremy slips a hand under my dress and cups my mound while sliding his fingers deep inside me. Slowly he plays my body like strings on a guitar building my pleasure. Sliding back, he pulls his sweats off and pulls me on top of his length impaling me in one swift motion. The pain only lasts for a moment before it turns into pleasure. Gripping my hips in a bruising manner, Jeremy helps my movements along as I grind and swivel my hips, rise up, slam down and repeat the motions.
I have learned what he likes and the rougher I am, the better. I roughly glide my nails down his chest leaving marks and causing him pain. The more I do it the harder he seems to get and the rougher he slams inside of me. He uses one hand to slide to my clit to rub and pinch it helping me to my climax sooner. I moan and writhe on top throwing my head back and riding his cock as hard as I can. The more I spread my legs and lean back the deeper he seems to go. I can’t hold back any longer and he knows it as he sits up and takes a beaded nipple between his lips and sucks before biting while slamming me down on his cock causing both of our orgasms to explode out of us.
Instantly I feel guilty for enjoying what we just did. I squeeze my eyes shut and hide my face against his neck to help stop the hot tears from flowing. I cannot let him see how this has affected me. I have not cried during or after sex in a few months and if he sees that I am now he is going to know something is wrong. I cannot explain to him why I feel guilty or why this is wrong even if it feels good. He cannot know that Forrest is alive and that is why I feel so wrong about everything now. Instead, I breathe deeply as if I am finally catching my breath before climbing off him and heading to his bathroom to clean myself up.
I also have yet to tell him of my suspicions about being pregnant but I will save that for another day. Maybe after his meeting with his uncle. If he decides to forcefully abort this pregnancy as he did the last, I need to wait until after the meeting in case I need to be alert. I cannot be bed ridden again especially when I have a bad feeling about this meeting.
“Clean yourself up. Tonight we have company coming over.” Jeremy calls from his room and I stiffen hoping it’s not one of his buyers.
I take care of myself before heading to my room to gather my things, before showering and getting ready for tonight. I know when he says this he wants me in something sexy and made up to look beautiful while company is here so it will take me a few hours to make sure I am presentable. Each task I move through, such as showering, make up, and hair keeps my mind occupied from drifting off to my unknown future and all the possibilities that can happen. For tonight, I need not worry. Come three days from now, I will worry and I will be prepared for all outcomes.
Chapter 8
Jeremy
Something is on her mind but she doesn’t want to tell me. I have no idea what could be bothering her but she seems to think that this meeting with my uncle is going to go horribly wrong. I don’t see how but I can’t seem to ease her worry. Maybe I should add more guards to keep watch. Will that make her feel safe? I’d give her a gun but I still don’t completely trust she won’t turn and use it on me even if it would be suicide on her part. I can guarantee my guards will shoot her the moment she turns the gun on me and I can’t have that.
I never thought this day would come that I would be ruler of my own empire. Now that it has, I feel on top of the world. Nobody can touch me. I am invincible. Not so invincible that I cannot die but the Feds have nothing on me, the police have to stay away due to their harassment of me when Sierra was first taken, and all those with power want me so they won’t be trying to kill me. The only threat right now is my uncle, whom I know is not really a threat but he is still in the police department and he can become a threat if he truly wants to, and those mysterious men that entered my house. I still have not received a name of the intruders and everyday I become more irate. How is it possible that nobody knows whom it is? There had to have been a fucking trail left somewhere but my men are just too stupid to see it.
Oh fucking well. I can’t deal with them right now when I am about to go into a meeting with my uncle. It is in two hours and I need to make sure all my men have scoured the area for any possible threats and this time they better fucking not let anyone in. I don't need some shithead ruining all I have worked for because of my guards fucking up. If my uncle is planning something, then my men need to be fully alert and stop whatever threat he poses. Those men that somehow made it into my house could be part of some scheme my uncle cooked up but I hope he isn't that stupid. The not knowing what they were doing here has me livid and every day I become more incensed not knowing.
"Sierra, why don't you go make me some lunch while I go get ready for my uncles arrival."
"Ok." Sierra is the only one in my life right now who hasn't betrayed me. I fiddle with the small box that rests in my pants pocket that holds a gorgeous platinum tennis bracelet I purchased for her this morning while I was out.
I head up the stairs and go straight to her room. It is tidy and simple. She doesn't like clutter and always seems to have everything in its exact spot. Anything out of place, I'm sure she fixes the moment she notices. It's not often her room doesn't show just how OCD she is. I am not sure if it has gotten worse since she has been with me but while I watched her in school and out, she was always a clean person.
I peruse through her tiny trinkets on her dresser. There are not many, only what I've gifted her but they are all lined up perfectly to display them with their best features faced forward. Not a single item of clothing is left sitting on the floor or her bed. Her basket is barely full but it seems that if an article of clothing is taken off, it goes straight into the basket. The floor is spotless. I hear the vacuum every other day so I know not a single drop of food or paper is hiding in the plush carpets thread. Even her desk is tidy. Not a single piece of paper or pen is out of place. The pens sit comfortably in their holder at the corner while the notebooks and papers seem to be in her drawers. The only thing out of place is her diary with the pen sitting half-hazard in the middle of it as if she wasn't finished pouring out her heart and feelings.
I set the velvet box I've been carrying in my pocket on her bed before heading over to her diary. I probably shouldn't read it. I told her this was completely hers to do with as she pleases and that I would give her this just for herself. I would not taint it but at this moment, I could care less about what I said to her. I have to know what she's said about me. What if her feelings were just a lie and she truly does not love me? What then? I hate that I am so unsure when it comes to her but our circumstances are not the greatest when it comes to mutual trust. I know she does not completely trust me. Although I have not always been kind to her I never once lied about my feelings, but she may not see it that way due to how she became mine.
I peak at the words written on the paper as if they could hold the key to Sierra's heart; and maybe it does. Maybe if I read what she has put down onto paper I will get a glimpse into Sierra's heart and mind. I will find out her true feelings for me and her thoughts on this whole situation we are in. I know some of her thoughts and feelings but I believe she has held back for fear of punishment.
Today is the day. I can feel it. Something is going to go wrong and Jeremy is going to get hurt. Or maybe I will. My gut is telling me I need to lock my door and barricade myself into my closet until it's all over. But what will happen if Jeremy gets hurt, or worse, killed? Will they come for me? I don't know but I fear for us all and Jeremy just assures me it will all be ok.
My other fear is my love. Will he come for me today? Is that why I am feeling so unsettled? What do I say to him to make him leave me behind? He won't believe I want to stay. He will know something is wrong. I fear that he won't stop until he has me back with him. I crave his touch. I miss his eyes, his lips, and his kiss. If I have any hope of keeping him safe and alive he must leave me behind and never come back. I could not bare it if he were killed because of me. Anyways, if he were to know the truth about me, about Jeremy, he would never look at me the same. He could never love me again and I would much prefer it if he saw me as I used to be instead of the monster I have become. I doubt he would accept the baby and me. It would disgust him to learn of my infidelity even if it was due to circumstance and survival. I could not handle it. It is best if he leaves me here and never comes back. I just need to figure out how to convince him of this.
Baby? What baby? And who is this man she speaks of? Her love? Is it one of my men or my buyers? How could she do this? How could she profess her love for me when she obviously has feelings for another? I knew it was too good to be true. Oh, she will be punished for this. I will not be played the fool again. It is strikingly clear what must be done. No more will she be spoiled. I will get to the bottom of this and find out what baby she is speaking of and after that, she's gone. I could get a lot of money for her. I will sell her to Omar. Oh, he will be so pleased to hear of this. I never wanted her damaged but now that she has lied and betrayed me, Omar is the best solution. He is not easy on his girls and Sierra will be begging him to give her back or even kill her. He is one sick fuck and I believe this is this best solution to all my problems. I guess it is back to the drawing board again. Time to find myself a new love. I know eventually I will find a woman that will love me back; it is just too bad Sierra wasn't her.
I take the velvet box with me as I head out of Sierra's room and back to mine. No reason for her to have it when she will be gone soon. Once I reach my oasis, I grab my phone sitting on my nightstand and hit the call button.
"Omar." His voice barks through the phone. I must have caught him in the middle of something.
"Omar, its Jeremy. I have something you want." I can hear his ragged breathing on the other end of the line and the whimpering that follows. I caught him in the middle of something all right, and a smile crosses my lips knowing what I have to offer him will be my best proposal yet.
"You better be calling me for something worth my time because you're interrupting my fun right now." The cry of a woman in pain not pleasure before his growl of pleasure has me tightening my fist with impatience. Why can't he just take a moment to discuss business? As much as I love watching and listening to another have sex, right now I just want to get this over with. Omar's idea of pleasure and sex is not something I enjoy. It far too disturbing in my book and I have seen and done many gruesome things.
"Trust me. You're going to enjoy what I have for you."
"This sounds intriguing. Do tell."
"I have something you want. At the right price, she's yours."
"I already purchased from you at the auction. I have no need for another. I am still breaking in the one I have." Another cry of pain flows thr
ough the line.
"I believe you will be most pleased with my offer."
"Fine. I'll take a look at your offer tonight."
"No need. You have already seen her."
"Hmm. Is that so?"
"Yes. You have already made an offer. I will take your offer of ten and a year." He's quiet for a moment and I know I've hooked him. His loud guffaw echoes in my ear.
"Fine, fine. My offer still stands." His dark chuckle continues and I grin. Let him deal with her. She will see just how easy she's had it being with me and will regret ever lying to me about her true feelings. I am not second in anything, not even her heart.
"Good, good. I want one last night with her before I hand her over. Be here tomorrow early and she is yours. Permanently." I will let that sink in. Originally she was to be given for a night but it is time I cut my loses.
"Permanently? I think I like this even more. I'll be there early." He hangs up without a goodbye and I toss my phone on my bed. The deal is done, and one less thing to worry about. Sierra will be surprised to know that she will no longer be with me and there is nothing she can do about it. I will miss her but there are plenty of fish in the sea as the saying goes.
***
Walking into the kitchen to receive my lunch, Sierra sits quietly eating her sandwich at the island. My plate sits on the counter with a sandwich cut into a triangle waiting to be devoured. I will miss having her making my lunches but not enough to keep her around.
Break Me (Taken Series Book 2) Page 8
