“What if there isn’t one I want to change?”
“I highly doubt you’re excited at the idea of Andrew cheating on you with Nadine.”
I sat straight up, shock radiating through me. “What the hell are you talking about? How did you…?”
“You really should hide your diary better,” she answered with a devious smile.
“Are you kidding me?” I stood, fury tightening every muscle in my body. I thought of all the things I’d written in there. My feelings, my experiences, my visions. Things no one other than me should know. The anger vanished and a sense of betrayal overwhelmed me. “You read my journal? How could you do that to me?”
“Chill, Chloe.” She held up a hand. “I didn’t read your journal.”
“Then how would you know about Andrew and Nadine?”
“I found the thing when I was looking for your new purple sweater. Hiding it under your bed is a little after school special, don’t you think?”
“Why would you be looking under my bed for a sweater?”
She gave me a look that said it should be obvious. “That’s where I’d put it.”
“So you were snooping in my room and just happened to open my journal and read it?”
“It was an accident, well, maybe I not so accidentally opened it. I only read a couple pages.”
“Gee, it’s so comforting to know you only partially invaded my privacy.”
“As if you looking into my future isn’t a constant invasion of privacy.” She stood, placing her hands on her hips.
“It’s not like I always have a choice.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to lord it over me when you know I’m gonna get in trouble. Have you told Lily about this?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“That’s beside the point. You had no right to look. I didn’t tell you because you have a big mouth and probably blab about it to everyone. Unlike you, Lily can keep things to herself.”
She pointed her finger at me. “You’re using this to avoid the real issue.”
“Which is what? That you’re nosy?”
“No, that you’re scared to try changing your own future, because if this works you won’t have the illusion of control over your own life and the lives of everyone around you. You’d actually have to make a choice for yourself and not rely on a preordained future.”
That stung. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was the same one Nanna, Lily, and Dad had tried to give me. I sank back down to the bed.
“What am I supposed to do then, Phoebs? I’ve tried before. What if I try with Andrew, get my hopes up, and it fails?”
“What if it doesn’t?”
I had no idea and the thought terrified me. I’d never not known what would be. Being able to change things meant all of my visions could be wrong, that life didn’t work out the way I’d seen for anyone.
“Are you done moping now?” she asked. “Because if you are, then maybe I’d be willing to help you figure out a plan.”
“Maybe you’d help?”
“Well, it’s only fair that if I help you, you help me in exchange.”
“You mean, me lending you my notes when you skip isn’t enough? Or when I covered for you with Dad last weekend when you got home after curfew?”
“Exactly, except we hadn’t established that those were on the bargaining table when you did them, so I suggest a new deal. I’ll help if you clean my room.”
I scanned her room. It wasn’t dirty, but it was a mess. At least she didn’t eat in here. Still, no way was I going to clean her room, especially when I had no idea what kind of assistance she’d give me in return. “I don’t think so. Not without a guarantee that you’ll actually help.”
“Please, the fact that by helping you I’ll be proving you wrong should be guarantee enough.”
She had a point.
“Fine. Then what’s the plan?”
“I don’t know.”
I rolled my eyes. “Great. Some help you are.”
She snatched up a towel from the floor beside her to toss at me. “Give me a minute. You know I don’t plot evil intent well under pressure.”
That was an accurate statement. Phoebe was impulsive, and her random spur of the moment deeds tended to get her in the most trouble. So, I kept my mouth shut and waited as she returned to spinning around in the chair.
Finally, she let herself drift to a stop. “When does the whole thing with Andrew and Nadine go down?”
“At Javier’s party.”
“Holy crap, they do it while you’re in the same house?”
“No. I’m not going.”
Her face scrunched in confusion. “Why not? Everyone’s going.”
Why not seemed like such a simple question to answer, but the more I thought about it the harder it was to justify. I wasn’t going, because in my vision I wasn’t there.
Instead of answering, I shrugged a shoulder.
“Fine, then obviously you have to go,” she said.
“That’s it? I go to the party and it’s supposed to stop them from betraying me?”
“Betraying you? You’re so dramatic,” she said flippantly.
“How would you react if Nathan and Vivian hooked up behind your back? Or Nathan and Tonya?”
Her blue eyes narrowed. “The bitch would go down.”
“What about him?”
“As I said the bitch would go down. Any guy who cheats deserves to be called bitch. Okay, so I get your point. So, when you see this vision, what happens after?”
“There’s a pretty big chain reaction,” I answered.
“Details, Chloe, details.”
“Andrew and I break up, Owen dumps Nadine-”
“Wait, they’re dating again?” she interrupted.
“Yeah, but he’ll dump her and date Bianca later in the year.”
“Okay, I totally saw that hook up coming. I mean Nadine is nice and all, well except for the whole planning to screw your boyfriend thing, but her and Owen are just not right. Her and Andrew…” She shook her head. “What else happens?”
“Andrew will meet some girl in college, get married, and have a kid. Nadine will be a dental assistant and have a family.”
“And you?”
“Nothing amazing. I end up teaching English at a university.”
Phoebe groaned and her head dropped backwards. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna adopt a bunch of cats.”
“I happen to like cats. They’re cute and considering the number of cat memes on your Facebook page, I’m pretty sure you’re the cat person in the family.” As defenses go, I admit it was a bit weak, but still, I thought it worth mentioning.
“Is it the life you want?” she asked as she looked at me. I could see the pity in her gaze and it twisted my stomach into a lead ball. “The life you dream of having?”
I thought of my future as I always saw it - college, job, dying alone at home, and yes cats.
“No.”
I would do everything in my power to change that future. And just like that, I made the decision not to become the crazy cat lady.
Chapter 9
“Hey,” I said, sliding up to Andrew at his locker.
“What’s up?” He rummaged around in the mess threatening to spill out of the small space.
“Not much. Your locker is starting to look like Phoebe’s.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
I laughed. “Have you ever seen her locker?”
“That bad?”
“I’m pretty sure last week she found her homework from the first day of school, along with the lunch she brought and forgot to eat.”
“That’s just wrong. And mine’s not that bad.”
“Not yet.”
He swung the door shut and twisted, then drapped an arm over my shoulder as we walked down the hall toward the cafeteria. “You’re in a good mood today.”
“Are you implying I’m normally grouchy?”
“No, but the last
few days you’ve been quiet, which isn’t you. So, what’s got you all smiley?”
“My dad changed his mind about the whole no party thing.”
“So, you’re going to Javier’s party?”
“Yep.” That single word was so hard to say, going against everything ever did when I had a vision.
The knot in my stomach, though, eased when I glanced up at him. His slightly stubbled jaw, hair poking out from under his beanie cap, and the sexy grin stretching his lips made me think that as difficult as it was to try changing the future, maybe it was worth it.
“Cool. I can borrow my mom’s car and pick you.”
“No,” I said sharply.
“Why not?”
“I’m babysitting my cousins that afternoon. I’m not sure when my aunt and uncle will get home. It’ll be easier if I meet you there.” Besides, if he drove me to Javier's, it would make it harder to get a ride home. No way did I want to be stuck in a car with him after he cheated.
We were almost to the cafeteria, when he pulled me around the corner toward the shop and art hall.
“Where’re we going?” I asked.
“I want to show you something.”
“What?”
“It’s a surprise.” His sexy smile brought out a slight dimple on his right cheek. I looked at him, suspicious, and he laughed. “Relax, it’s a good one.”
We stopped outside the art room, in front of a bulletin board filled with portraits. The way he stared at the drawings made me think I should be looking, too.
“What I am looking for?”
“You’ll know when you see it. Keep looking.”
It didn’t take much searching. In the top corner of the board was a charcoal drawing of me. In the picture, my head was tipped down while I gazed at the artist from hooded eyes. I was smiling, though, not like I would for a photo. This had been done from memory.
“Wow. Did you do that? I didn’t think you took art.”
“I don’t. Someone else did it.”
“Who?”
He shrugged. “There’s no name, at least not on the front. I thought you might know.”
“I think Phoebe’s taking art, but she would have said something.”
“Maybe you have a secret admirer? Should I be jealous?”
I bumped his hip with mine. “Not a chance.”
“We could peel back a corner to see if the name is on the back,” Andrew suggested.
I reached up and tugged at a bottom corner, being careful not to rip or fold the paper. There was no future attached to the drawing other than Mrs. Stewart taking it down from the board. That didn’t surprise me. Unless I had a strong connection with a person, touching something of theirs rarely showed me anything.
“No name.” I shrugged. “I’ll ask Phoebe.”
“Come on, I’m starving, and we’re gonna miss lunch if we don’t hurry.” We went back down the hall and into the cafeteria. “You want to hang Friday night?” he asked as we joined the cafeteria line.
“Can’t. I told Nadine go over and help plan the New Year’s party.”
“Is she really gonna make people dress up in costumes?”
“How did you hear about that?”
“She told me about it this morning.”
I stumbled to a stop. “I didn’t think you had any classes together.”
“We don’t.”
“When did you guys talk?” As hard as I tried to keep the suspicion from my voice, it trembled along my words.
“In the hall. Is that a problem or something?” His confusion eased my mind.
“No, I just think it’s odd you’d run into each other when you’re on opposite ends of the building.”
“I guess. So is she gonna do it?”
“Probably. She loves over the top kind of things like that.”
I wondered for a moment if I should tell him Nadine’s party wouldn’t happen. After they hook up and everyone finds out, Nadine cancels the party in fear of no one showing up. Just one of the side effects of being a backstabbing cheater.
Talk about Nadine ended as the noise from the growing line made hearing difficult. After paying for our food, we found a spot with Javier and a few of the girls from the squad. I sat across from Andrew. We struggled to carry on a conversation before eventually giving up.
Picking at the last few bites of my salad, my eyes rested on Andrew’s profile. He laughed at something Javier said and my chest tightened. He looked exactly like he did every other day. No angelic light shined on his hair. No dramatic music played.
I’d never told Andrew I loved him. I never doubted I did, but I never wondered when it happened. My visions had shown me I would love him, but the falling part had been missing.
I always thought falling in love would be this big thing. One day I would wake up and feel differently toward him. I would feel more than I had the day before. Yet, this felt like such an ordinary thing to do. Rather than being consumed by love, I simply accepted that I loved him and had for a long time.
Shaking my head to clear my mind, I gave a laugh under my breath. The idea of having a future with him must have gone to my head. Could I trust that by me going to the party I could change the entire course of our lives? Could it be that easy? And if it was, what would that mean for…well, for everything?
A body plopped onto the bench next to me, bumping into my shoulder and nearly knocking me off the edge.
“So?” Phoebe asked.
I shrugged in response not bothering to ask for clarification.
“You’re killing me. How could you not have checked yet? Do you enjoy wallowing in misery? I thought Lily was the wallower.” She shoved a greasy potato chip in her mouth.
“The wallow-er?”
“Yeah, and you’re the know it all.”
A few weeks ago, that would have been a title I gladly claimed. Now I wasn’t sure it would still qualify.
“What are you?” I asked. “The perfect one?”
“Of course.”
“How about the loud mouth?”
“Whatever,” she replied between chips. “Get it over with.”
“Not yet.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Let me finish eating.” I took a mouthful of lettuce and chewed slowly. She tapped her toe under the table, her limited patience obviously worn thin, but I refused to give in. If I let Phoebe take control of this, she’d be dictating every aspect of my life within days. The trick was to find a way to distract her without her even realizing.
“Hey, did you see the drawing someone did of me? It’s posted outside the art room.”
“Yeah, I saw. It’s good.”
“Do you know who did it?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Someone not in my class. We’re doing watercolors. I think the junior class has been working with charcoal.”
“I wonder why they drew me?”
“Who knows, who cares.”
“I do. I mean, if they didn’t want to keep it, maybe they’d be willing to give it to me. Could you ask Mrs. Stewart?”
“Whatever. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to avoid the real issue here.”
“Which is?”
The serious expression she wore gave me little hope of evading any longer. I took a deep breath and relaxed, pulling my consciousness inward.
Checking my own future was different than with others. Rather than reaching into the haze they had around them, I turned inside for my own. It was a lot harder to see mine, mainly because I had to separate it from the past and present.
I didn’t bother to check long-range visions. Instead I searched through the images of the next few weeks until I found what I was looking for. I would be at the party, but it wouldn’t stop Andrew and Nadine. It only changed a few minor, inconsequential details like the cup he held in his hand, and the way she locked the door instead of simply closing it.
I reentered the present briefly before reaching a hand outward to Andrew. The few feet of table sepa
rating us had little effect on the strength of the connection I had to his future.
Flashes of images rush past. He watches me. I’m dancing. Girls from the squad. Nadine beside him. Pink floral wallpaper. The bedroom.
I jerk myself out of the haze and press the palms of my hands to my eyes.
“Well?”
“Nothing’s changed.” I sighed.
“Then you’re not doing it right.”
“Well, expert, what’s the right way?”
Phoebe snorted. “How about the opposite of what you're doing now?”
“What does that even mean?”
She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail. When we were little, that meant she was getting ready to cause major trouble. It still surprised me when she wore her hair down, because I was pretty sure she was always plotting something.
“It means you need to approach this as if you were me. So any time your gut tells you to stop, keep doing what you’re doing. If it says to keep it up, then stop.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Watch and learn.” She leaned across the table and poked Andrew’s arm. When he looked at her, she said, “Are you picking Chloe up for Javier’s party?”
His forehead crinkled in confusion and his eyes turned to me “Didn’t you say you wanted to meet there?”
I started to say yes, but Phoebe interrupted. “Nope, she needs a ride.”
“Okay.”
“Carry on.” She motioned with a wave of her hand to Javier that they should go back to their conversation. She gave me a grin. “And that is how you do what doesn’t fit into your grand scheme of life.”
I rolled my eyes. “So now what?”
“Do everything your future feeler tells you not to do. But don’t go around compulsively checking, because the zoned-out look you and Lils get when your gifts are doing their thing is kinda creepy and you might start freaking people out.”
“Great.”
“What’s great?” Andrew asked.
A wicked grin crept across Phoebe’s face. “Oh, I asked her how you were as a kisser, you know, in case Nathan and I don’t work out.”
I smacked her arm, but she just laughed. It didn’t help when he join in with her.
Watch Me: Teen Paranormal Romance (A Touched Trilogy Book 3) Page 8
