So maybe his lustful desires couldn’t be helped after all. Maybe committing certain sins was his destiny, and there wasn’t a thing that could be done to change it. He didn’t want to believe that, but he also didn’t see any other reasonable explanations. Maybe some people just weren’t meant to walk the straight and narrow. No matter how hard they tried. Maybe some people were simply meant to wreak havoc and cause heartache—for themselves as well as those around them.
Curtis closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He was so tired of feeling this way. Tired of teetering back and forth and trying to do God’s will when there was this nagging, immoral part of him wanting to do otherwise. He was exhausted from all the fighting inside of him and ready to succumb—to whatever his fate might be. And he would, unless something or someone stopped him.
Chapter 26
It was shortly after eleven o’clock. Now that Curtis was back in his office, he flipped through the file of the couple he’d be meeting with in a few minutes. Bruce Betts and Stephanie Moss had been members of Deliverance Outreach for a little over a year and had set their wedding date for October. That was eight months away, but they’d decided to schedule their first pre-marital counseling session for today. Actually, Curtis preferred that couples come in as soon as possible, so this was a good thing.
In the meantime, though, he thought about Curtina and decided to call Aunt Emma to check on her.
“So, how’s my little princess doing?” he asked.
“Just fine. She played all morning, and now she’s taking a nap. She’ll be up in a while, though, and I’ll give her some lunch. She’s such a good little girl, and just a joy to have around.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, Aunt Emma. Glad you don’t mind keeping her for me.”
“Not at all. I told you that from the beginning, and actually, I look forward to when you drop her off every morning. Then I miss her on the weekends.”
“She is a good kid, and I just wish Charlotte could see what you and I do. I wish she would rethink how she feels about Curtina.”
“Maybe in due time,” she said.
“I hope so. Because things aren’t good between us. They’re worse than ever.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Curtis. I thought maybe once Charlotte got away for the weekend, she would feel a lot better about things when she was back home.”
“I was hoping that, too, but nothing has changed.”
“Has she said anything to you at all about Curtina?”
“No. I’ve been cordial to her, and she’s been pretty cordial to me, but that’s pretty much it.”
“Cordial isn’t good for either one of you because my experience is that when husbands and wives become cordial, they’re leaning toward the idea of giving up. They’re deciding that the whole marriage is a lost cause and that they might as well just accept it.”
Curtis didn’t comment because he knew she was right. Before Charlotte had left he’d been furious with her, but now he didn’t feel as angry, and he was relieved not to be arguing with her anymore. He was happy to have at least some peace in his household, and, yes, was on his way to accepting things as they were.
Curtis finally spoke. “Even three months ago, I wouldn’t have expected our lives to be like this. I knew we had problems, and I knew Charlotte wasn’t thrilled about Curtina being around, but not ever did I think we’d be at some sort of standstill with neither of us willing to budge.”
“Well, it’s not like you really have that much room to budge, because there’s no way you can kick your own child out of your house. And Charlotte shouldn’t even expect that.”
“But she does. She expects me to send Curtina to live with one of Tabitha’s family members and just forget she ever existed.”
“And she really doesn’t see that you could have said the exact same thing about Marissa? I know you’ve told me that before, but I just have to ask again, because it doesn’t make any sense.”
“No. She doesn’t see that as being the same. She says it’s different and doesn’t have anything to do with this since Marissa is no longer with us. She’s constantly reminding me that her daughter is dead.”
“Mm, mm, mm. That poor niece of mine. Just pitiful, I say.”
“I hadn’t told you this, but last week, she brought up the idea of us having another baby.”
“Why?”
“For some reason she thinks that will make things better for us.”
“I don’t see how. Not when you and her are so at odds about Curtina.”
“That’s what I told her. She doesn’t get that either, though.”
“Lord have mercy on Charlotte’s soul. She’s got a lot to learn and a lot of growing up to do.”
“I agree, but she doesn’t see that.”
“Then, I just don’t know what to tell you, Curtis. My prayer is that the two of you will soon work this out, but I don’t see how you can do that if Charlotte doesn’t realize how wrong she is.”
“I didn’t want to say that to you, but unfortunately, you’re right.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“I am, too, but in all fairness to Charlotte, this isn’t all her fault. Because had I not gotten caught up with Tabitha, there would be no Curtina.”
“But what’s done is done, and sadly you can’t change what happened. All you can do now is go forward.”
“I know,” Curtis said, looking at his watch. His office phone rang, and he knew it was Lana, letting him know that Bruce and Stephanie had arrived. “Well, hey, Aunt Emma. It was good talking to you but I need to get going here.”
“Anytime.”
“Thanks for everything, and I’ll see you this evening.”
“You take care, now, Curtis.”
He set his cell phone down, called Lana back, and told her to send Bruce and Stephanie in.
When they entered, Stephanie, a short, petite young woman, smiled and shook Curtis’s hand. Bruce, a tall, bodybuilder type, did the same, and they both sat down. Curtis smiled to himself when he realized how much Bruce towered over Stephanie; he could probably pick her up with one hand.
“Thank you so much for seeing us,” Stephanie said.
“I’m glad to do it and glad both of you think enough of your relationship to go through this process,” Curtis said.
“Yes, thank you very much, Pastor,” Bruce added.
“You’re quite welcome. So, first of all,” Curtis continued, “how did the two of you meet?”
They both looked at each other and laughed.
“Wow, so is the humor a good thing or a bad thing?” Curtis said, chuckling.
“Should we tell him, baby?” Bruce asked her.
“I don’t see why not. We’re totally different people now, anyway.”
“We met at a strip club,” Bruce said with no hesitation. “I used to work there, and Steph used to come in sometimes with some of her girlfriends to watch my show.”
“We used to be ashamed to tell people, but not anymore.”
“And you shouldn’t be because everyone has a past. All of us have done things we wouldn’t do today, and the important thing is that we’ve changed for the better.” Curtis thought about his own yearnings toward repeating history. He even wondered if he was qualified to give this couple any advice at all, what with how rocky his own relationship was. Not to mention how pessimistic he was these days about the institution of marriage.
“Yes,” Stephanie said. “Bruce and I finally realized that, and we’ve even started sharing it with others as a testimony. We’ve been sharing our story with friends and letting them know just what can happen once you allow God to take charge of your life.”
“Good for you. That’s what I like to hear,” Curtis said. Then he changed the subject a bit. “So, how long have you been engaged?”
“We dated for about six months, but we’ve been engaged for a year now,” Bruce said.
Stephanie nodded in agreement. “So all told, we’ve been together for eighteen months.
”
“Good. Then, you’ve had a nice amount of time to get to know each other.”
“Yes, we have,” Stephanie said.
“We’ve learned a lot about each other, too,” Bruce said.
“And are you pretty much in agreement on most things?”
Bruce twisted his mouth to the side. “For the most part.”
“Is there something in particular that you’re not quite on the same page about?”
“Money,” Stephanie blurted out immediately.
“Uh-oh,” Curtis said.
“But we’ll work all that out as time goes on,” she said.
“You might,” Curtis told her. “But chances are you won’t. Finances can cause more problems in a marriage than infidelity as well as lots of other issues. Money can make people do some strange things and make you despise each other. My daughter and her ex-husband are a prime example, and they don’t mind me telling their story to any of the couples I meet with.”
Curtis could see how disappointed Stephanie was to hear this, but he had to be honest with them.
“So, what is it the two of you disagree on?” Curtis asked.
Bruce answered first. “I think our money should all be deposited into one account, and that’s what our bills should be paid from. To me, there shouldn’t be any of that fifty-fifty stuff. You know, that craziness where we both pay one half of every bill we have. To me, we should both pay a hundred percent of everything together.”
“Not me,” Stephanie added. “Our marriage is going to be a partnership and normally partners split everything fifty-fifty. Especially since I’m coming into the marriage with basically no debt, and Bruce owes just about everybody.”
Bruce shifted his body toward her, and Curtis knew this was a constant debate between them. “But if we’re going to become one the way the Bible says we are, then we should become one with everything we have.”
“I disagree,” Stephanie said, then looked at Curtis. “But what do you think, Pastor Black?”
“Well, I have to admit that every situation is different, but I am a believer in joint bank accounts for all married couples. I do think you should each have your own checking or savings accounts on the side so that you can save your own emergency funds, but the majority of your salaries should go toward paying your bills and toward your retirement accounts.”
“See,” Bruce said, laughing.
Stephanie smiled but said, “I don’t see what’s so funny.”
Bruce rubbed her hand affectionately. “It’s not like I’m trying to get over on you, baby, but if we start out with all this separate-what’s-mine-is-mine-and-what’s-yours-is-yours jazz, our marriage will be over before it gets started. I admit that I do have a lot of debt, but I’m willing to do everything I can to get it paid down as quickly as possible.”
Stephanie didn’t comment one way or the other, so Curtis said, “Maybe you could at least think about it. And Bruce, since it sounds like Stephanie manages her own money pretty well, maybe you could let her help you manage yours starting now and not just when you get married.”
“I’m all for that,” he said.
“Stephanie?” Curtis said.
“That’s fine. I can do that.”
“Good. Because in order for your marriage to start out on the right foot, you’re going to have to settle on this.”
“There is one other thing,” Bruce said.
“What’s that?”
“My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and that’s what I want Steph to be when she has our first child. I want her to be the one to take care of our children and not some babysitter or day-care provider. At least until our last one turns five.”
“But Bruce, it’s like I keep telling you,” she said, sounding aggravated. “I’m not the stay-at-home type. I love being an attorney, and I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to give up my career. Plus, sweetheart, you know you don’t make enough money for us to live on one salary.”
“But, baby, it wouldn’t be forever.”
“It would be long enough, and the last thing I want is for us to struggle financially. I won’t do that.”
Curtis relaxed further into his chair and locked his hands together. He listened as they debated one subject after another and wished he had better news for them. Their marriage was already ruined. It was over and they hadn’t even taken vows yet. He hated seeing them this way and wondered which was worse: realizing you’re probably not meant to be together beforehand, even though you really do love each other, or realizing this unfortunate fact ten years later, the way he was starting to realize about himself and Charlotte. To him, it was better to figure things out before the wedding, and he hoped Bruce and Stephanie would consider cutting their losses now. It was best for them to leave well enough alone and look for people they were more compatible with. What he hoped was that they wouldn’t get married in spite of their problems and then end up like him and so many others. Miserable and rethinking everything.
Chapter 27
Charlotte finished applying her champagne-colored lipstick, powdered her nose again, and picked up her Marc Jacobs hobo. She had a number of errands to run but mainly wanted to stop at the beauty supply store to grab a few hair products and then stop at the bookstore. Two of her favorite authors had just released their latest novels, and she couldn’t wait to read both of them. She loved reading because it allowed her to leave her own world for a while and enter someone else’s. Something she especially needed now, after hearing from that Tom character. She was still stunned by his call and hoped he’d never contact her again. Although, to be honest, she already had a bad feeling about this and just wished she knew why he was trying to force her to be with him. There had to be some sort of personal reason. That was always the case whenever a person blackmailed you but didn’t want large sums of money.
As Charlotte grabbed her keys, she heard her BlackBerry chiming. This meant she’d just received a text, so she pulled it out to see who it was from. When she clicked on the text icon, she saw the name Portia Melvin, which was the name she’d given Michael Porter in her phone. She also now kept the sound alerts on silent whenever Curtis was home so that she wouldn’t have to worry about him checking to see who was trying to contact her. He rarely picked up her phone under any circumstances, but she never knew what he might do now that they had issues. It was the reason she’d told Michael to never send her any incriminating texts, and she was glad this text only said, Long time no hear from.
She dialed his number. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey, yourself.”
“So what’s with the ‘long time no hear from’ thing?” she said, teasing him. “Because I just talked to you a couple of hours ago.”
“You said to be discreet. So that’s what I’m doing.”
“I know. I’m just messing with you.”
“So what were you doing?”
“Getting ready to head out to a couple of stores.”
“Why don’t you come see me instead?”
“I don’t know, Michael.”
“I realize we just saw each other yesterday in Florida, but I really need to see you again. So how about it? Why don’t you meet me at Gerald’s place this evening?”
“I really wanna see you, too, but I also don’t want to make Curtis suspicious.”
“I understand that, but baby, I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m so caught up, I can barely focus on my work.”
Charlotte’s phone beeped, but she ignored it. “I’ve been thinking about you as well. All last night and then again this morning. But I don’t know. Maybe we can see each other tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow is a very long time.”
Charlotte’s phone beeped a second time, so this time she looked at the screen and saw that it was Matthew. “I’m sorry, Michael. This is my son calling. Can you hold on?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
Charlotte pressed the button with the green phone symbol. “Hey, Matt.”
But ther
e was no one there, so she switched back to Michael.
“I guess I didn’t answer in time. I know what he wants, though. To hang out after school at one of his friends’ houses. I’ll just call him back later.”
“Pretty please,” Michael continued, as if she’d never stopped talking to him.
“You’re making this very hard, you know that?”
“That’s why I’m doing it.”
They both laughed.
“Okay, then, what about this?” he said. “I’ll see if I can get off early and then you and I can meet in a couple of hours. That way you’ll be home pretty early.”
Charlotte debated what she should do and finally said, “Okay, I’ll see you then.”
“Miss Charlotte!” Agnes screamed up the staircase. “Miss Charlotte, come quick.”
Love, Honor, and Betray Page 13
