by Lily Graison
That it does, Grace thought. Silence cloaked the room again. The only sounds to be heard were that of silverware on their plates.
When the meal was over and she rose to start clearing away the dishes, she knew she couldn’t let the subject drop there. “I’m sure whatever chores you have here could wait until your schooling was over for the day. You aren’t busy from sun up to sun down. Or at least you haven’t been from what I’ve seen.”
He glanced at her before looking over at Rafe. The two brothers stared at one another, not a word passing, until Rafe stood and said, “Doesn’t matter to me what you do, Jesse, as long as you do something. Either go back to school or pull your fair share of work around here and I don’t mean the half-ass job you feel like doing. You do what I say needs done with no complaints. Winter’s coming and I don’t have time to fool around with you anymore. Make a decision and stick to it.”
Rafe left then, making his way to the barn. Jesse sat at the table, staring at the empty dishes. When Grace started clearing them away, he looked up at her. “Don’t you think a man should be at home working instead of in some classroom?”
She smiled and stacked the remaining plates. “I think a man should do what’s right for his family.”
He stared at her for long moments , then nodded his head. “Then I should stay here and work.”
Grace shrugged her shoulder. “If that’s what you think is best.” She carried the dishes to the sink. “Of course, most men have enough schooling to get them by. Educated men can read, write and do their figures. It wouldn’t do for someone to take advantage of you just because you were too ignorant to know any better.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. He was staring off into the other room. “Can you do your figures well enough to sell your herd without being cheated?”
He turned to look at her, his brows lowering in concentration. “Probably.”
She gave him a pointed look. “Probably will leave you very hungry come winter. Knowing makes the difference between fair dealings and being known as a man everyone can cheat.”
He didn’t reply. He helped her clear the rest of the dishes before going outside. She watched him through the window as he made his way to the barn.
She wasn’t sure what he’d decided to do but maybe now he’d at least know he could return to school if he chose to do so. Rafe had made it clear Jesse was free to do as he pleased and Grace would bet money Jesse would return to school. It was obvious, regardless of his claims to be a man, he wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of one.
Jesse helped out very little around the farm from what she’d seen. His heart just wasn’t in it. He was a child in her eyes and children needed more than work from sun up to sun down. They needed time to play, to be around others their own age. It’s what Jesse needed. He’d been filling his pa’s shoes for too long now. It was time to relinquish his control and let Rafe do the worrying for a change.
The moment she thought of Rafe, he walked out of the barn. Grace stilled, watching him out the window and wondered what to do where he was concerned.
He’d said he wanted her under that copse of trees, moments after showing her only a fraction of the pleasure she was sure he was capable of providing. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want more.
She hadn’t been able to think of much else since they left the shelter of those trees but Rafe had made it very clear that nothing more would happen. He wanted her but marrying her was out of the question.
He glanced toward the house and stopped, staring into the window at her. Her heart skipped a beat when he smiled. Regardless of how surly and pig-headed he seemed to be at times, Grace knew one thing for certain.
She was falling hopelessly in love with him which meant she needed to find a husband and quick.
Chapter Eighteen
Monday morning, Jesse came to breakfast dressed in clothes Grace knew he wouldn’t work in. His hair was brushed, his boots wiped clean and if she wasn’t mistaken, he smelled of some spicy shaving tonic.
She glanced at him as he sat down to eat. He didn’t look at her or Rafe. He ate without saying a word until his plate was clean, then he cleared his throat and slid a glance in Rafe’s direction. “Think I’ll head into town today.”
Grace eyed him over the rim of her coffee mug.
“How long are you going to be gone?” Rafe asked.
Jesse fidgeted in his seat. “All day, I’d suspect. That is if Mrs. Avery will let me come back to class.”
A long minute of silence made Grace’s ears ring for the want of some noise. Rafe finally broke it by sliding back away from the table. “You need to feed the horses before you go and make sure the cow is milked.” He stood then, placed his empty dish in the sink and left.
Jesse watched him go before turning back to face her. “He didn’t seem mad.”
The statement shocked her. “Why would he be mad?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s always harping about me doing the chores and fixing this or that. Just figured if I went back to school, he’d be ornery as a bull.”
Grace stood and gathered the plates. “Well, I think he just expected you to help out since you were here. I’m sure he’d love nothing more than spend his evenings holed up in his room doing whatever he chose to do, too.”
Jesse had the decency to blush. She’d berated Rafe at one time for ordering Jesse around so much but she hadn’t really taken the time to stop and actually see what was going on. Now she did and she saw that Rafe had been right. Jesse did what he needed to and nothing more, unless Rafe made him, and even then, it was a fight of major proportions. Most of the time, Rafe just did whatever chore he’d asked Jesse to do himself. She’d seen it numerous times now. The day, and half of the evening, Rafe had spent fixing the fence being the latest.
Taking the dirty dishes to the sink, Grace glanced out the window. The sun was barely up, the mountains in the distance a black ink spot on the horizon. The wind whistled softly against the windows as leaves whirled around the yard. Winter was coming. She glanced behind her to the larder. Did they have enough food to last? She made a mental note to do an inventory of their food stores as soon as the breakfast dishes were done.
Jesse left, shutting the backdoor firmly before making his way to the barn. She watched him enter, the light from inside illuminating the entryway briefly before the door closed behind him. She smiled. He was going to school. Maybe now he’d see he didn’t need a wife as much as he once thought.
The idea caused butterflies to dance in Grace’s stomach. If Jesse didn’t want to marry her anymore then maybe Rafe wouldn’t feel the need to put himself out of the running as a potential husband for her.
He’d left her breathless with kisses, caused her skin to tighten with the caress of his fingers against her flesh, and whispered hotly against her skin how much he wanted her.
The moment her mind conjured images of them together, Grace’s breath hitched in her throat. She wondered if she was wanton enough to let him take her, a certificate of marriage or not.
She glanced out the window and saw Rafe walk across the yard, leading his horse behind him. It only took her an instant to answer her own question. Regardless of what she’d said earlier, she’d let him bed her and not have a single regret in doing so.
Jesse left his horse at the livery stable, telling Percy Goins, one of the livery stable hands, he’d be back around three o’clock, and walked toward the school with nervousness making his stomach ache. He’d been worried Mrs. Avery wouldn’t allow him back into class but Rafe assured him she would. He hoped his brother was right. It was embarrassing enough to walk in there with everyone looking at him. To have her turn him away would be mortifying.
He swung open the gate to the schoolyard, the squeak of the hinges sounded loud in the quiet morning. The school bell had already rung. He’d heard it when he rode into town. His morning chores had taken longer than he thought they would. He shouldn’t have dawdled at the breakfast table. He wouldn’t fr
om now on.
Walking the two steps up to the building, he paused by the door, taking deep breaths. He found it amusing he could fake a sense of bravado in a confrontation with a grown man but give him a room full of kids his own age and he was scared spitless. He wasn’t sure why other than the fact he didn’t care what the adults in town thought of him. These kids though… they were his friends. He cared what they thought.
Pushing all thoughts aside other than getting through the day, he pushed open the door and walked inside. The room was a riot of laughs and shrill voices ringing out over the next trying to be heard. Jesse inhaled the scent of chalk and unwashed bodies. He spotted those unwashed bodies on the left hand side of the room. The Atwater kids always stank. After Benjamin and Betsey Atwater’s mother died of a fever two years ago their drunken father didn’t care what they did or how they looked. Or smelled.
He shut the door, looking at everyone briefly before walking up the center isle. The voices hushed as he passed them and when he reached Mrs. Avery’s desk, the silence in the room was deafening.
Laurel Avery was the best teacher they’d had in Willow Creek. She’d been stern and unfriendly when she arrived in town but since marrying Holden Avery, she’d changed. Everyone loved having her as their teacher.
She smiled when she saw him and folded her hands together in front of her. “It’s nice to see you, Jesse.”
He nodded his head at her in greeting. “Mrs. Avery.” He cleared his throat and looked to his feet, a small part of him dying inside at having to ask to come back to class, but she stopped his words by speaking first.
“Would you like to take a seat or is there other business that brings you by today?”
Jesse let out the breath he’d been holding and looked up at her face. She was still smiling and the look in her eyes said she knew exactly how he felt. He nodded his head and returned her smile with one of his own. “I’d like to take a seat if it’s all right with you, ma’am.”
“It’s perfectly all right.” She turned back to the blackboard and Jesse faced the class. Everyone was staring at him. He knew they would be. His old desk was still empty so he made his way to it with every eye in the room on him. When he settled in his seat, Alex Avery turned around in hers and stared at him.
“What you doing back here? I thought you was a man now?”
He ignored her. She was annoying when she said nothing at all. Just having to be near her grated on his nerves most days. She was loud, rude, and thought she could play any game they invented better than any boy in all of Willow Creek.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. “That wife of yours forbid you from talkin’?” The other kids in class burst into a fit of laughter then, Alex smirking at him as they did.
Jesse glared at her and noticed her blonde hair was brushed into tidy ringlets. Her usual shirt and trousers were replaced with a dress of soft blue. He blinked. Alex Avery looked like a girl. A pretty one at that. Not that he’d ever tell her so.
When Mrs. Avery tapped the blackboard with the stick she used for pointing out things to them, everyone turned to face the front of the class. Everyone but Alex. She sat there staring at him, a queer look on her face. Mrs. Avery called her name. Alex made a “humpf” sound at him before shaking her head and turning around.
Jesse stared at the back of her head, his gaze tracing those curls down the length of her back and wondered for the first time ever, if her hair was as soft as it looked. He dismissed the thought and turned his attention to Mrs. Avery. He’d have time to contemplate Alex later.
Grace was setting the sandwiches she’d made for lunch on the table when Rafe walked in. He hung his coat and hat on the peg by the door and walked to the sink, washed his hands and face from the bucket, and turned with a towel in his hand and stared at her. The butterflies in her stomach erupted into flight then.
She’d realized when Jesse left that morning and didn’t return that she and Rafe were alone and would be every day school was in session. She also thought of her earlier question about whether Rafe wanted to marry her or just bed her. And her answer to that question.
She half expected Rafe to come in right after Jesse left and she’d been waiting. Practicing the speech she’d rehearsed in her head about why they should keep their distance from each other. That speech disappeared as if she’d never even thought it up as he stood there staring at her.
He’d rolled his shirt sleeves to his elbows, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he rubbed his hands in that towel. Something in his eyes told her he was thinking naughty things and her mind’s eye flashed images of what he’d done to her under those trees on the outskirts of town in vivid color. She felt his fingers between her legs all over again and those butterflies she couldn’t seem to get rid of swam in such a ferocious pattern she nearly doubled over and swooned right there on the kitchen floor. She looked away, let out the breath she’d been holding in and stared at the table.
She saw him move out of the corner of her eye, tossing the towel to the counter behind him and made his way across the room to the table. She held her breath, waiting to see what he’d do. If she were honest, she knew what she wanted him to do. Right or wrong, she wanted him. Wanted him touching her, his lips on hers and the manly scent of him tickling her nose.
He slid out his chair when he reached the table and Grace forced herself not to look at him. She reached for the water pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it within reach before filling her own. When he sat down, she did the same, moving her chair a little farther away from him.
They ate in silence. He devoured most of the sandwiches while she nibbled at hers. When he’d finished, he wiped his hands, finished his water and turned his head toward her. She couldn’t look at him. Her face burned hot, her pulse leaping like a caged bird in her chest.
When he stood and put his coat back on, followed by his hat, she raised her eyes and watched him leave the house without a word. She exhaled a long breath, closed her eyes and sighed. What in the world was wrong with her? She’d been alone with him on numerous occasions and never once had she been so nervous, yet today she could barely breathe while he was in the room.
Shaking her head, she stood, cleared away the dishes and cleaned the room in record time. When she was finished, she looked out the window toward the barn. The urge to go to him was overwhelming. She had no reason to seek him out other than she wanted to. And the very idea she wanted to be near him so badly was absurd.
She knew very little about the man other than what she’d seen. Jesse had told her Rafe had been away from home for ten years but she had no clue as to why. The more she thought about it the more she realized she didn’t know anything about him other than he was ornery, pig-headed and kissed with an abandon that left her shaky and light headed.
Movement by the barn caught her attention and Grace watched as Rafe climbed onto a horse and rode toward the pasture, disappearing over the hill. She stared at the spot he’d been for long moments as her mind wandered back to the knowledge that she didn’t really know him.
The thought had her turning her head to the room just off the kitchen. The room Rafe slept in. Everything he owned was probably in there and she knew some of the answers she wanted could be found inside but going through his things was wrong. She couldn’t stoop so low as to snoop through his personal belongings.
She was moving across the kitchen before she could talk herself out of it. Opening the door, she peeked inside the darkened interior.
She’d only see the room from the door, as she never cleaned it. She wasn’t sure why. Going into Jesse’s room was as normal to her as entering her own but for some reason, Rafe’s room had always seemed off limits. He was a man grown. Surely he could pick up after himself. The pile of dirty clothes in the corner and the bed covers trailing onto the floor let her know he didn’t.
Walking further into the room, Grace pushed the door wide to let more light in. The room was almost bare. A bed pushed against one wall, a single chest
of drawers and a small table that held a pitcher and bowl with a small mirror hanging on the wall above it. A faded rag rug sat on the floor between the bed and chest. The room looked dust free but that was about all she could say about it.
The dresser had a few items scattered along the top and she made her way to it. The item that caught her attention the most was a small bar of soap. She puzzled over its soft pink color. Her own soap, the bar she’d misplaced, looked exactly like that one. Reaching for it, she lifted it to her face and inhaled the scent. Roses. It was her soap. How did he end up with it?
She remembered the night she’d bathed in the kitchen, the last time she remembered having it, and smiled. She must have left it. But why did Rafe have it? She couldn’t imagine him bathing with it. What man would want to smell of roses?
Laying the soap back down, she rummaged through the bits of paper, a few coins and the books stacked on one end. She picked them up, examined the titles and saw a bit of something sticking out from the pages of one. Opening the book, she found the photograph of a young woman inside.
Grace stared at the photograph for long minutes. The woman was pretty, her long dark hair pulled up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. She was dressed simply but it didn’t detract from her appearance. Flipping the photo over, the name Katie was written in scrawling letters.
She puzzled over the photo until the scrape of boots on the floor registered. Moments later, a sound behind her sent off alarm bells in her head. Someone was in the house.
Grace turned, shocked to see Rafe standing in the doorway. She’d clearly seen him riding over the hill but there he was, standing at the entrance to his room. A room she was in.
