by Lynn Turner
“You promised not to do that again!” she accused hotly.
“No, I didn’t. I told you I’d kiss you once in a while. I promised not to let things get out of control, and I didn’t. And if you’ll notice, you’re not exactly quaking in fear, either.”
“I’m too mad, that’s whyl” Lacey snapped, and Neil threw back his head with a deep-chested laugh of enjoyment.
“Lacey, you’re fantastic!” he claimed when his mirth had subsided. “Courtin’ you’s gonna be a real pleasure, ma’am.”
“I guess it wouldn’t make any difference at all if I said I don’t want to be courted by you?”
Lacey tried hard to maintain her anger, but it was surprisingly difficult. Despite herself, she realized that she was more than a little flattered by his single-minded determination.
Also undeniable was the stimulation she experienced during these verbal sparring matches. In the old days she’d never have dreamed of standing her ground and talking back to him this way, even if he’d given her the chance. But now she enjoyed it. It was exhilarating to see the new respect in his eyes when she gave as good as she got. He was seeing her as an adull for the first time, and she thought he liked what he saw. No, she knew he liked what he saw. It was more than just the sexual thing, strong as that still was; it was the surprised but pleased look in his eyes, as if he’d discovered a hidden bonus he hadn’t counted on.
Neil leaned an arm on the roof of her car and studied her with those unusual, fascinating eyes. “Don’t fight me, Lacey,” he advised in a sexily soft murmur. “It won’t do any good, and you know it. I realize you’re afraid to trust me, believe in me, but you can’t deny you’re still attracted to me, and that’s a beginning. Besides,” he added with a glint of humor, “I owe you a courtship. When we first met, I was so desperate to get you chained to. me that I couldn’t spare any time to woo you.”
“But now that you’ve put yourself out to pasture, so to speak, you’ve got all the time in the world, right?” she muttered, mainly to cover the foolish pleasure she felt at the idea of Neil actually wanting to “woo” her, as he put it. It was true that they’d married in such a rush—barely three weeks after they had met—there hadn’t been time for a conventional courtship, but she hadn’t wanted to wait any more than he had.
“Right,” he agreed easily, his mouth hinting at another grin. “See, there are advantages to having an older lover. I’ve got both time and money to lavish on you. All I need is the opportunity and your cooperation.”
Lacey had never felt more confused in her life. Part of her wanted desperately to believe him, yearned for a real marriage based on mutual trust and respect as well as the physical love they’d always had. But another part whispered that she’d be a fool to give in to temptation, that he would only hurt her again.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Why, Neil?” she asked softly, her hand still on the car door.
“There are two possible explanations,” he said gently, smiling. “One is that I need to work off my guilt for what happened before.”
“And the other one?”
His smile died, “Give it some time,” he murmured. “It’ll come to you.”
The only other possible explanation for all the trouble he’d gone to was that he was in love with her, but Lacey dismissed that idea at once. A frown marred (he smooth line of her brow as she gave a faint shake of her head.
Neil’s soft sigh was almost imperceptible. “It looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me,” he told himself under his breath. “Might as well get an early start.”
He slowly pulled her into his arms, and Lacey’s protest was more surprised than indignant.
“Neil! We’re on a public street!”
The rest was smothered as he lowered his head to kiss her with a tenderness that was totally new to her. It was the sweetest kiss she’d ever experienced, completely lacking in passion but with an intense longing that affected her every bit as profoundly.
“Does this tell you anything?” Neil murmured against her lips before he sealed them with another kiss. When he ended it he went on holding her, his cheek pressed to her hair and his hands gently caressing her back.
“NeiI7” Lacey asked shakily, and he pulled away a little to look down at her. She was shocked by what she saw in his eyes: pain, and longing. A second later she was telling herself she must have imagined it, as he stood back and replaced his stoic mask of indifference.
“You’d better be going,” he said dryly. “I imagine you’re seeing one or more of your jocks tonight.”
The twins! They’d be home any minute, and no one was there! Lacey completely missed the subtle question in Neil’s voice as she hurriedly slid into the car and put her key into the ignition. He closed her door and then leaned down to face her through the open window.
“Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, Lacey,” he said grimly. “You’ve had eight years to play the field, but from now on I intend to be the one and only man in your life,”
Play the field! If he only knew, she thought bitterly. Until Paul, she hadn’t had one single date since she left him. She’d been too busy raising her sons and trying to keep a roof over their heads, in addition to her revulsion toward any man who even hinted at wanting more than a casual friendship. After Neil, the thought of any kind of intimacy had terrified her for a long time. It was only in the last few months that she’d allowed herself to start thinking in terms of a sexual relationship, and then only because of Paul’s dogged persistence.
“You’ll never be the only man in my life, Neil,” she told him brusquely. “Right now I’m going to meet two who mean more to me than you ever did or ever will.” ‘
He blanched, and she had the satisfaction of knowing it wasn’t only from anger. She had hit him where it hurt, right in that arrogant male ego of his.
“You’ve changed even more than I thought,” he grated. “I guess I’m at least partly to blame for what you’ve become, Lacey, but don’t think you’ll turn me off by throwing your other men in my face. I’ll just have to work that much harder to prove that I’m the only one for you. And I am. You know it as well as I do.”
“All I know is that you’re making me late,” she told him coolly. “Will you please get your hand off the door so I can leave?”
He hesitated, his eyes narrowing in anger. Lacey’s met and held them, refusing to let him intimidate or goad her, and gradually she saw the anger change to a grudging admiration.
“You crafty little witch,” he murmured softly. “It won’t work, Lacey. You can’t freeze me out or protect yourself by hiding behind other men. What on earth do you see in that soccer-playing Romeo, anyway? You’re more woman than he could ever handle.”
“Is that the voice of experience speaking?” she asked in a bored tone.
“You’re damned right it is,” Neil answered huskily.
“Even at eighteen, you were the hottest female in bed I’d ever known, and by then I’d known plenty.”
Lacey flushed scarlet. “Don’t be crude!” she snapped, and Neil chuckled as he stepped back from the car.
“Better hurry, or you’ll be late for your date,” he taunted softly. “While you’re with those other two guys, try not to dwell too much on what it was like with us. A man can always tell when his woman’s mind is elsewhere.”
Lacey dressed for work the next morning with even more care than usual, torn between anticipation and dread at the prospect of seeing Neil again. As she studied her reflection in the fuli-length mirror on her closet door, she told herself the anticipation proved beyond any doubt that she definitely had a masochistic streak.
She’d chosen one of the new outfits she’d bought on holiday in Florida, a gauzy shirtwaist dress in rose pink with rolled sleeves and a slender skirt. The skirt was lined but the bodice wasn’t, which meant she’d had to buy a satin bra in the same shade of pink. In Denver or St. Louis she’d have gotten by with going braless, as she usually did, but this was a small town in the mi
ddle of the conservative Midwest, and she couldn’t risk offending customers or potential customers with a lewd display of her breasts,
“Not bad, old girl,” she told her reflection as she turned sideways to check that the hem fell evenly.
Lacey had the body of a woman ten years younger, a fact she was aware of without feeling vain. If she was obsessive about anything at allr it was the importance of diet and exercise in maintaining a healthy body. She jogged two miles three evenings a week, while the boys kept her company on their bicycles, and she regularly swam and played tennis at the club. She had no stomach to speak of, her breasts were high and firm, and unlike most women who had born children, she hadn’t developed stretch marks on her hips. The tan she’d acquired on vacation showed up well against the dress, now that she noticed. Also through the dress, she realized with a grin.
“Gosh, mom, you lookpretfyl”
Todd delivered the compliment from her bedroom door, and Lacey smiled at him before smoothing a stray wisp of hair over her ear. She wore it cut short at the sides and back and only a little longer on top. It was a good basic razor cut, easy to care for, yet versatile.
“Honest Injun, pard?” she asked as she turned away from the mirror,
Todd nodded and came inside to climb up on her bed. He was still in his Smurf pajamas, his hair tousled, and when he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned Lacey thought that there couldn’t possibly be children anywhere as beautiful as hers.
“Well,” she said as she sat beside him and finger-combed his silky hair, “personally, I think you’re pretty neat, too, kiddo. Where’s Scotty—still in bed?”
“Uh-huh. He’s a sleepyhead this morning. Are you going to work early today?”
“Mm-hmm, a little bit. I have to show some people a house at seven-thirty. They both work, and that’s the only time they could make it. Come on, help me decide what shoes to wear, then we’ll pull oi’ lazybones out of bed and have breakfast together.”
By the time they’d finished eating, Mrs. Moore had arrived. Lacey went directly to the house she was showing, and didn’t get to the office until almost nine. As she came through the door Ellen and Vi, huddled at Ellen’s desk, both looked up, guilt written all over their faces. They’re talking about me! Lacey thought, surprised. She asked casually. “Any calls?” as she headed for her own office. She halted halfway to the door when the two older women exchanged looks, and Vi actually blushed.
“Well?” Lacey said impatiently. “Were there any calls for me7”
“Just one,” Ellen answered. “Neil Hartmann called.”
Lacey felt hot color climbing her neck, but forced her voice to remain brisk and businesslike. “And? Did he leave a message?”
“Not exactly,” Ellen murmured. She shot another look at Vi, then explained. “First he asked if his wife was in—”
“He what!”
“And when I stopped stammering like a halfwit and said no, he asked what time you usually have lunch,” Ellen finished. She sounded amused.
“I don’t believe it!” Lacey breathed furiously. “The nerve, the sheer gall! I suppose you told him I go to lunch at twelve-thirty?”
“I’m afraid so,” Ellen admitted, finally giving in to the urge to smile. “He’s a hard man to say no to. Is it true, Lacey? Is that gorgeous hunk really your husband?”
Lacey sighed in resignation. There was no use denying it. “Technically, yes. We’re stilt legally married, but we’ve been separated for almost eight years.”
Ellen looked at her for a minute, then said carefully, as if she wanted to be sure she had it straight: “Almost eight years. And the twins are seven, right?”
As Lacey stared back at the other woman, her face stiffened. “Yes,” she whispered. “He doesn’t know about them yet. Ellen, Vi,…” She appealed to them in turn with her eyes. This possibility hadn’t even occurred to her that Neil might team about the boys from somebody else.
“Don’t worry, Lacey,” Vi said with a kind smile. “He won’t find out from us. Right, El?”
“Right!”
As the two women calmly went back to work, Lacey felt a warm rush of affection toward them both for their loyalty and understanding.
Both Ellen and Vi had worked for Jessie Meinert when Lacey first arrived here, a frightened twenty-two-year-old with no job prospects, no experience and two young sons to support. And, like Jessie, they had taken her under their wings from the very beginning.
As she sat at her desk, in what was now her office, she remembered those days from the vantage point of six years’ distance.
She and the boys had left St. Louis virtually destitute, the remains of their last welfare check—about seventy-five dollars, all that remained of their cash reserves. They had nowhere to live, knew not a soul to turn to. She’d been utterly terrified and more alone than she could ever remember feeling in her life. There was no one anywhere who cared about her and her babies, no one to worry about them or even wonder if they were well and happy.
She had no friends to speak of, no contact with other young mothers her age, no basis on which to judge the way she lived. Her waking and sleeping thoughts, her very existence, had revolved around the twins: how to care for them, nurture them, provide the security they needed when she herself was so desperately insecure.
And then she met Jessie Meinert, and her whole life changed.
They had taken the bus from St. Louis, because that had been the cheapest form of transportation, and during the trip an elderly lady with kind brown eyes and a weathered face had offered to take charge of Todd while Lacey changed Scott’s diaper. They introduced themselves, and then out of the blue, Jessie mentioned that she had an opening for a clerical worker in her real-estate office and asked if Lacey might be interested in having the job.
Lacey had been thunderstruck. To be offered a job, a means of supporting herself and her children, by practically the first person she met had seemed too good to be true. Honesty compelled her to confess that she knew next to nothing about real estate, but Jessie only shook her white head with a smile and replied that she looked like a fast learner.
She had been, and not just about the rea] estate business. During those first months she’d discovered the extent to which she’d been underestimating her own worth as a capable, competent human being. Neil had done such a hatchet job on her self-esteem that last night that it had been shattered almost beyond repair. But in three months Jessie Meinert had managed to instill in her a sense of self-worth that made everything else possible and remained with her.
Jessie had correctly sized her up that day on the bus, quickly and accurately reading her as a woman who’d had more than her fair share of trouble and pain, but recognizing her inner resources that would turn life’s disappointments into personal triumphs.
In the beginning, Jessie had far more confidence in Lacey than Lacey had in herself. At first, she was almost afraid to believe that the days of struggle and hardship were over. It was difficult to adjust to the fact that she no longer had to squeeze every dollar until it squealed, to stretch every package of baloney to make it last until the next welfare check arrived in the mail. She never scrimped where the boys were concerned, but when it came to herseif she was so tightfisted that Jessie finally had to take her in hand.
She deserved new clothes and an occasional meal out, Jessie told her sternly. She was working and working hard, paying her own way, and she’d earned the right to pamper herself a little, now and then. This job was not going to disappear overnight, the old woman told her, zeroing in on her innermost fears; and then to prove it, she’d enrolled Lacey in night school—paying the tuition herself—so that she’d have a realtor’s license and the security that went with it.
Generous, was Jessie, and wise and deeply compassionate. She had been the only person to whom Lacey ever confided the story of her marriage, including that painful, humiliating last night. Not even Ellen and Vi had been trusted with the whole story, much as she loved and respect
ed them. All they knew was that she’d married young and that the marriage had failed. It was only natural that they’d be curious, after the bombshell Neil had dropped that morning; but she knew their curiosity would be held in check until she decided to satisfy it, and for that she was deeply grateful.
With a sigh, she pulled herself out of the past and forced her thoughts to the work covering her desk. Twelve-thirty arrived without her being aware of it, and she might have worked right through lunch if Neil hadn’t strolled into her office, carrying a bouquet of wild flowers.
Ellen’s right, Lacey thought as she leaned back in her chair to look up at him: he is a gorgeous hunk. Today he was wearing a soft V-necked sweater of burnt orange, almost the same shade as his eyes in certain light, and deeper rust-colored slacks.
“For me?” she asked with false sweetness as she eyed the flowers.
“For you. To make up for yesterday,” Neil answered withacrooked grin. “I was crude. Forgive me?”
Lacey gave a noncommittal shrug and got up to fetch a water glass from the bathroom to put the flowers in.
“I remembered you like daisies arid those blue things,” he said as she carried the glass back to her desk without speaking. He slid a hip onto one desk comer and leaned close, tilting his head to one side to look into her face with an engaging grin. “I picked them all by myself. Aren’t you impressed?”
Lacey took a step away from him and faced him squarely. “Just what do you mean by calling here and asking for your wife?”
Her tone was coldly condemning, her anger all the more cutting for being controlled. She saw the smile wiped from his face and his features set into a hard mask.
“That’s what you are, Lacey. You might be ashamed to admit it, but I’m not. Sooner or later people are going to put two and two together, anyway. Especially when they start seeing us out together,” he added.
