by Lynn Turner
His grim anger and the pinched look to his mouth didn’t exactly reassure her. “It stopped during the surgery,” she recited shakily. “And then while you were still in recovery, they had to. …” She couldn’t finish.
“Stop it!” Neil’s fingers dug into her flesh until she winced. “It was shock, Lacey, and nothing more than that—shock due to loss of blood. The odds of it ever happening again are a million to one. ! don’t want you working yourself up over a problem that doesn’t even exist, do you hear!”
She shook her head, unconvinced. “You can’t know that for sure. If it happened once, it could happen again. And Bob also said you’re supposed to be building up your strength again gradually. Gradually, he said!” She was nearly hysterica! now, her voice rising in distress. “And knowing that, you’ve been out here knocking down walls and painting ceilings—risking your life just to redecorate some rundown old house! It’s stupid! Stupid!”
A muscle in Neil’s jaw quivered as he visibly tried to control his temper. “It’s not just a house,” he said in hard, clipped syllables. “It’s our home, or it will be, if you’ll just stop being pigheaded long enough to be reasonable and listen to what I’m telling you!” His voice rose to a shout on the last six words as he gave her another hard shake.
“Don’t!” she pleaded fearfully. “You mustn’t upset yourself, Neil. Your blood pressure—”
He made a sound as if he was ready to explode, and Lacey’s fingers twisted together nervously in front of her.
“I’ll kill him,” he vowed between clenched teeth. “So help me, I’ll strangle him with my bare hands! Lacey! There is nothing wrong with my blasted blood pressure!”
Which was such a blatant untruth as he stood there red-faced, glowering at her, that Lacey could do nothing but shake her head sorrowfully and wring her hands.
Neil expelled a gusty breath and raked both hands through his hair as if he’d like to tear it out. “I honestly don’t know whether to choke you or drag you outside into the trees and throw myself on you,” he muttered in exasperation. “If it’s not one thing, it’s something else. You finally get over being afraid of me, and now you’re afraid for me. Sweetheart, what can I do to convince you that I’m all right, that there’s no cause for worry?”
Lacey was only partially listening to his earnest appeal. Her mind had snagged on a memory, an incident that had seemed odd at the time but now became clear.
“That day you came to the house, when you met the boys for the first time,” she recalled with a frown. “You took something out of your pocket. It was some kind of medicine, wasn’t it? Digitalis or something?”
“Or something,” Neil admitted reluctantly. “They sent a prescription home with me, just in case I had any more episodes of tachycardia. The cardiologist told me that if it was going to happen at all, it would most likely be In the first couple of months, but that just in case I should carry medication for a year. Until that day, I swear, Lacey, I’d never needed to take it.” His mouth quirked ironically as he went on.
“Actually, I doubt if I needed to then. It was just the shock of seeing the boys like that, with no warning. My heart was pounding a mile a minute, and I figured if anything would jolt it enough to stop it again, that was sure as hell the right time and place. So I panicked a little and took a pill,” he added with a shrug. “One pill, in eight months!”
He moved toward her, a determined glint in his eye, and Lacey backed away from him nervously.
“No, Neil,” she said with an emphatic shake of her head.
“No?” he repeated, grinning lazily. “I haven’t even asked, . , yet.”
“Don’t think you can get around me with that sexy look and let’s-go-to-bed voice,” she told him firmly. “I’m not a fool. I know how much strain sex puts on the heart, and I won’t have it on my conscience that I brought on another attack.”
Neil drew a long, hissing breath. “Are you trying to provoke me, Lacey, because if you are, you’re sure going about it the right way. Don’t you ever refer to making love with me as ‘sex’ in that prissy tone of voice again!”
“I wasn’t being prissy!” Lacey denied, gasping.
Neil pressed on. “That’s the second or third time you’ve implied our lovemaking never meant more to you than a few minutes of physical pleasure.”
“I never said that!” Lacey cried, and his eyes narrowed as he took a step closer.
“So you admit it was beautiful, almost mystical, then,” he suggested silkiiy, his voice dropping half an octave as he continued to advance on her.
Lacey dodged away like a startled fawn. His words had conjured up unwelcome thoughts and memories, and the tip of her tongue came out to nervously moisten her lips.
“I didn’t say that, either,” she said evasively, and then she sucked in a sharp breath as she realized what he was doing. “Stop it! lust stop it, Neil. It won’t work,” she told him. She turned toward the door. “I’m going to check on the boys, and then I’m gong to get into my car and go home.”
She half expected him to come after her or at least demand that she come back and stop running from him like a little coward—because she knew that was exactly what she was—but he only called out in a voice ringing with confidence, “This isn’t finished, Lacey. Count on it—it’s not finished by a long shotl”
She kept marching outside with long, determined strides, but her heart was filled with apprehension. When he used that tone of voice, she knew he meant business.
Mrs. Moore was due back on Sunday, which meant Lacey had to endure two more days of having Neil arrive at her house early and stay late. He might as well move in bag and baggage, she thought resentfully as she backed out of the drive Friday morning; he already acted like the master of the house. When he’d arrived with the boys this morning, he even had a bag of laundry, which he calmly informed her he intended to wash in her machine. Now that she’d like to be around to see, Lacey thought with amusement.
By the time she returned at five that afternoon the amusement had developed into a smug expectancy, which rapidly changed to stupefied astonishment when she looked out the window above the kitchen sink and saw Neil removing and folding sheets from her clothesline, assisted by their sons. As the bed linen came down, the row of laundry behind it became visible. A large lump formed in Lacey’s throat at the sight of snowy white undershirts lined up side by side—the boys’ looking like doll clothes next to Neil’s.
He was relaxed and pleasant during dinner, but his eyes held an unmistakable message as they met hers frequently across the table, and Lacey braced herself for the battle she knew would begin as soon as the twins were tucked in for the night,
She tried to outmaneuver him by pointedly saying she thought she’d go to bed early, and she immediately regretted her choice of words when Neil smiled slowly and replied, “Sounds good to me,” as he drew her into his arms. She knew good and well she only managed to wriggle free because he was still leery of using even the slightest degree of force to overcome her objections.
“Go home!” she told him rudely from the other side of the family room.
His wistful smile tugged at her heart, but she stiffened her back in determination and held out against it.
“It won’t be ‘home’ until you and the boys are in it,” he answered softly. “Home is where the heart is they say, so I guess right now this is my home.”
“Neverl” Lacey shot back, and his smile widened into a grin,
“You’re really gorgeous, did you know that?” he said softly. “And I don’t believe I’ve told you yet today how much I love you. Have 17”
Lacey gritted her teeth, drew a deep breath and counted to ten. “Will you please get out of my house?”
She heard the lack of conviction, the almost plaintive note in her voice, and her heart sank. He’d have heard it, too—he didn’t miss a tiling—and would take it for the weakening it was. She tensed for a move she knew he was about to make, but Neil suddenly seemed to switch tac
tics, throwing her off guard.
“i hear there’s a dinner-dance out at the club tomorrow night. Come with me,” he invited casually.
Lacey’s brain scrabbled frantically to change direction and keep up with him, sensing a threat, but unsure of its source. “1. .J can’t,” she stammered.
“Why not? Surely you can find somebody to watch the boys for a few hours on a Saturday night?”
“It’s not that,” She bit down hard on her lower lip, then confessed in a rush, “I’ve already promised to go with Paul.”
Neil’s eyes narrowed with menace, his lean body tensing. “You’re pushing your Luck, Lacey,” he warned quietly.
“He asked me over a month ago,” she said in her own defense. “You weren’t even here then!”
“I’m here now. Just remember that, Lacey. I’m here now, for good.” That it was a warning she didn’t doubt. “I told you once that you couldn’t hide behind other men, and I meant it,” he added softly. And then, almost before she realized what was happening, he had turned on his heel and left the room. A minute later the sound of his truck’s engine disturbed the silence of the quiet street as he left. Lacey didn’t move for several minutes, and then she slowly turned out the lights and went to bed, to lie sleepless and tense for several hours.
On Saturday Neil behaved like a polite but reserved stranger, throwing her into an even deeper confusion. What’s more, he didn’t hang around after she returned home from work but left right away with the cool and obviously insincere statement that he hoped she enjoyed her night out.
Lacey glanced at her reflection once, not really seeing it, then picked up her bronze satin evening bag on its slender shoulder chain and left her bedroom. Sharon Crawford had willingly agreed to watch the boys, and they’d walked up the block half an hour ago, the pockets of their shorts stuffed full of Star VJars figures and Matchbox cars and trucks. A quick look at her watch showed the time to be seven-thirty. Paul would be here any minute, she realized nervously.
For the tenth time since he called the office that afternoon to let her know when to expect him, she wondered if she should have taken the opportunity to cancel their date. And for the tenth time she obstinately decided she’d been right not to. All right, so she was legally married to Neil; but they hadn’t lived together as man and wife for eight years and didn’t now. Why should she let his presence in the same town destroy her social life? She had a perfect right to go out with Paul or any other man, she told herself firmly, and ignored the nagging voice that disagreed.
Paul’s look when she opened the door was comment enough on her appearance. She’d chosen a strapless red knee-length dress that was deceptively simple and intriguingly provocative at the same time. In addition to baring her upper chest and shoulders, the dress had one side slit to the thigh, and its material was a slinky silk blend that rippled over her curves like wet crimson paint. She seldom got the chance to wear something like this, and she knew she looked good in it even before she saw Paul’s eyes light up with appreciation.
The club’s dining room was already filling up when they arrived, and they were led to a table for eight in one corner. These dinner-dances were informally arranged mix-and-mingle affairs, and the only prerequisite was to phone in a reservation far enough in advance. There was one couple already seated at their table: Phil and Sherry Engel. The two couples knew each other well. They immediately fell into pleasant, relaxed conversation, and the evening seemed off to a good start.
It wasn’t until about twenty minutes later, when Lacey had worked her way through half a Tom Collins, that Gary Baker arrived, looking distinctly upset as he held a chair for his wife, Emily. He didn’t quite meet Lacey’s eyes as he said a subdued hello and nervously remarked that he hadn’t known she and Paul would be sharing their table, too.
“Where’s Andy?” Sherry asked, and Lacey could have sworn Gary actually jumped in his seat, as if the question had startled him.
“Oh! She’ll be along any time now, I expect,” he replied, as his eyes darted toward the door. “Her, uh, her escort was picking her up.”
Lacey and Paul exchanged puzzled frowns. Andrea was the Bakers’ twenty-year-old daughter and a real knockout: blonde, blue-eyed and daintily petite. She was the apple of her parents’ eyes, and normally they couldn’t wait to show off her latest conquest. But tonight Gary was behaving as though he almost dreaded her arrival. His eyes kept sliding toward the dining-room entrance as if he expected Attila the Hun and a horde of invaders to come storming through it any minute. Suddenly he sat bolt upright in his chair and took a hasty gulp of his Bloody Mary. When Lacey turned her head to see what had caused such a reaction, she felt her stomach drop to her knees.
How dared he! she thought furiously.
Neil stood at Andy’s side, tall and infuriatingly at ease as his eyes scanned the room until they came to rest on the group at the corner table. And then a satisfied smile touched his mouth, and he started guiding Andy forward with a hand at her elbow.
The evening was ruined as far as Lacey was concerned, and she blamed Neil entirely. Phil happened to serve on the club’s membership committee, so naturally he knew the situation; and it was obvious from Sherry’s and Em’s embarrassed, stammered greetings that their husbands had filled them in on her relationship with Neil, too. To make matters worse, Neil took the seat beside her, sandwiching her between himself and Paul.
Dinner was an absolute debacle, and as soon as it was finished both the Engels and the Bakers escaped to the dance floor with a speed Lacey would have found hilarious if she hadn’t been so angry. Paul deftly and tactfully drew Andy along behind them, leaving Lacey and Neil alone.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” she demanded in a furious undertone, “You’re old enough to be her father, for heaven’s sake! Don’t you care what people are thinking7”
Nei! casually draped an arm along the back of her chair, the sleeve of his jacket brushing her bare shoulders, He was so close she could smell his spicy aftershave and the odor of bourbon on his warm breath. He smiled into her eyes as his fingers idly stroked her arm.
“I never have, so why should I start now?” he drawled. “And technically, I’m old enough to be your father, too.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Lacey hissed. “You were never a father figure to me, and you know it.”
When Neil’s eyes narrowed with a sensual gleam she realized that she should have phrased that remark differently, and she averted her head in irritation. The next instant his head was bent close to her ear.
“I have to admit I never thought of you as a daughter, either,” he told her in a deep-throated murmur that raised goose bumps on her nape. “From the second I set eyes on you, I only saw you in one role.” His voice softened to a whisper as he added, “As my lover.”
Lacey’s breath stuck in her throat and her heart lurched in reaction.
“In my bed,” he went on huskily. “Under me.”
Her eyelids fluttered and her lips parted involuntarily, her breath finally shuddering free with a little gasping sound. “Stop!” she begged weakly, her eyes darting toward the couples at the next table.
Neil blithely ignored both the plea and her obvious distress. “Naked, Warm and eager. Soft everywhere
I’m hard. With your arms and legs wrapped around me, tight, like you never want to let go.”
“Oh, Neil I” It came out a soft, quavering little moan. Lacey reached for the watered-down remains of her drink, but Neil’s hand captured hers, his fingers curling around it warmly.
“You don’t need that, baby,” he breathed in her ear. “I can make you dizzy, if that’s what you want. Come on.” And then he was pulling her to her feet and onto the dance floor.
Lacey thought with a touch of hysteria that if he made her any dizzier she’d be staggering around the floor like a drunk, Neil directed her arms around his waist under his open jacket, so that she could feel his body heat and the soiid firmness of his torso through the silk s
hirt he wore. He let his body take up the seduction his words had started as they swayed to the slow, romantic rhythm of the music. He held her pressed shamelessly cjose against him, his thighs rubbing hers while his hips tormented with gentle back-and-forth movements that sent pulsing jolts of desire racing through her bloodstream. She suddenly became aware that he was steering them toward the sliding glass doors at the end of the room, where the building opened onto the pool deck.
“No,” she tried to protest, but she couldn’t seem to inject any authority into her breathlessly weak voice.
And then they were outside in the sultry summer night. Lacey tried once more to stop him as he pulled her around the corner, both arms still securely around her.
“The lights aren’t on.” What an asinine, idiotic thing to say, she thought as she felt the rough pressure of bricks against her back, still warm from the sun’s heat.
“I’ve loved you in the dark before,” Neil murmured in a soft growl as he held her in place with his body, “Remember?”
He didn’t give her a chance to answer, his arms cushioning her as he drove her back against the wall, making her aware of every inch of his body with every inch of hers. His mouth was open and hungry, not allowing even a second for thought or hesitation as it devoured hers.
“Remember, Lacey?” he repeated as he dragged his lips to her ear. “Remember what we used to do to each other with our mouths? You know how to drive me absolutely wild. I want you to do all that again, and I’ll….” The rest was breathed hotly into her ear, punctuated by the darting flick of his tongue.
Lacey moved her head from side to side, trying desperately not to listen to his erotic promises, frantic to resist the effect he was having on her love-starved senses.
“No,” she gasped, “No, Neill Your heart!”
He placed one of her hands over it. “Does that feel like a weak heart to you darling? Admit it—it’s about to come right through my rib cage!” Then, with a note of irony underlying the passion in his voice, he added: “You think making love would put a strain on it…. Let me tell you, Lacey, it couldn’t be any worse than the frustration I’ve lived with for the past month, every time I get close to you.”
