by Maya Hughes
“I’m glad you did,” I said, opening my door. He’d helped me see what I’d been running from for a long time. Fear was holding me back from so many things, but I couldn’t let it hold me back from John Grimsby.
“I don’t have to make you call him while I’m standing here, do I?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head and stepping into the house. “I’ll do it.”
“Good,” he said, jogging up the couple of steps and wrapping his arms around me in the doorway. His thickly muscled arms nearly enveloped me, but the smell was all wrong. Like leather and cedar. He gave me a squeeze.
“If you don’t call him by tomorrow, I’m downloading all those chat files and emailing them to him,” he said, pulling back and staring at me, keeping me in his hold.
“You suck. Have I told you that yet?”
“Nah, not yet. Night, Frankie,” he said, letting me go and backing down the steps. I waved at him as he took off down the street. He slid a beanie onto his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. I smiled and marveled at just how crazy the day had ended. I closed the door and kicked off my shoes, sliding my hand into my pocket to get my phone out.
Time to face the music. I just hoped I hadn’t blown my chance with him.
25
JOHN - PRESENT DAY
After sleeping off the hangover that seemed to last a week, Killian’s words whipped through my head. I loved her. We needed to talk. Needed to hash this crap out and figure out what the hell was happening.
If she needs time, I could move at a glacial pace. If she needed space, I’d figure out a way to make it work. Back off for a while, not try for these big dates to impress her. But I needed to see her and talk to her.
I turned the corner to her block, and the excitement I felt at finally seeing her morphed into blinding rage as I saw her standing on her doorstep with some huge blonde guy. He had his arms wrapped around her and there was a big smile on her face. It lanced my heart to see her so happy. Not reserved, not a veneer, but a full-out smile. They were standing there so intimately for anyone to see. Had they just been inside? Who was this guy?
The guy jogged down the steps, and Frankie was standing in her doorway looking after him like some long-lost lover before closing the door. I could barely see straight. Rage coursed through my veins, completely replacing everything else. I chased after the guy, grabbing him by the shoulder.
“What the hell were you doing at Frankie’s place?”
He whipped around, his fist in the air. I planted my feet ready to block whatever he threw out. The look of surprise on his face morphed into something else. Something unexpected. He chuckled and dropped his raised fist.
“You must be John,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes traveled up and down my body as he plastered on an assessing look. I was decidedly uncomfortable, and then he tilted his head to the side, nodding approvingly. “I can see what the fuss is about. And to clear the air, no, Frankie and I aren’t a thing—believe me, she wants to see you. Right now, actually. Get in there.” He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around, pushing me back toward Frankie’s door. I glanced over my shoulder.
“But who the hell are you?”
“An old friend. Don’t worry about it,” he said, pushing me again. I shook my head. I’d figure that out later, right then, I needed to talk to Frankie.
I walked back to her house on numb legs, still trying to make sense of what the hell just happened. I climbed the steps to her door and glanced back down the street, but the guy was long gone now. My heart thundered in my chest as I raised my hand and knocked on her front door.
26
FRANKIE - PRESENT DAY
My finger hovered over the screen when the pounding knock from the front door made me jump. I threw it open, expecting it to be Sasha checking that I’d actually called John. The words died in my throat and my smile faded as I came face-to-face with the man I’d been avoiding for too long.
I stood in the doorway with my heart pounding for so long that John asked if he could come in.
“Yes, of course,” I said, backing out of his way so he could come in. I closed the door behind him and rested my back against it with a death grip on the door knob. The entire world was spinning, and it was the only thing keeping me tethered to the ground.
I braced myself for the barrage. I’d been avoiding him. Blown off his dates. Been a major bitch for quite some time. So imagine my surprise when he turned around and the first words out of his mouth were ‘Sorry.’
“What?” I asked, making sure I’d heard correctly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put all that pressure on you with the dates and tried to make it this big over-the-top thing. Hanging out with you here and watching TV is really all I need.”
“John, I owe you an apology. Can we sit?” I gesture to the couch. It stopped smelling like him a little while ago. Sadness cratered in my chest when I rolled over on it the day before and realized it. I took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything. About the dates. About not talking to you, and about what happened last time you were here.” I glanced down at my hands in my lap like they were the most interesting thing in the world.
He reached out and took my hand in his. If he could feel my heart beating at a mile a minute, he didn’t say anything.
“I was scared. Irrationally scared, but it’s something that’s stuck with me for a long time.” He ran his thumb over the scar on my wrist.
“It’s about these?”
I nodded.
“It was so stupid. I was so stupid. I didn’t know anything. There was a guy in college. We’d been seeing each other for a little while. We were kind of dating, I guess.” I shrugged. Embarrassment heating my cheeks.
“He was a nerd like me.”
“You’re not a nerd,” John said, softly. I glanced over at my TV and computer setup and lifted an eyebrow at him. He chuckled.
“Okay, maybe a little bit of a nerd. Go ahead.”
“I’d never really explored much. I’d seen some things. Read a little, but I didn’t know everything involved with the things I was interested in. I saw the rope bondage stuff. The knots, designs, and corset types of things, and I liked it. I told him about it, and he was super-enthusiastic about it. For some reason, I thought that meant he knew what he was doing.”
I still remembered how excited I’d been. At twenty, I was freaking out about being a virgin. Ha! I stayed in my cave like I always did, so finding my college boyfriend had been a shock for me. He’d zeroed in on me with laser precision, almost like he could smell my insecurity and vulnerability.
“We got drunk one night, and I finally agreed to give it a try after he kept bringing it up. I figured at worst it wouldn’t live up to my expectations. I’d have a real story about losing my virginity, right?” I glanced up at John who had a sad look in his eyes.
“I was wrong. Things were fun and good for the first few minutes. But after a little bit I realized he had no idea what he was doing. The knots were too tight and they were looped in the wrong place. Even the rope wasn’t the right stuff. And then he tried to undo it, but it all kept tightening. The ropes were burning my skin and I started to struggle.
I couldn’t move, and panic set in. My shoulder felt like it was going to dislocate, and I freaked out and screamed. It hurt, a lot. Like a searing pain as I struggled. He freaked out and bolted, afraid he’d get into trouble. He left me there. Left me alone to try to get out of it myself. I could barely breathe. Every move was agony. His roommate found me.” The embarrassment and shame when the door was pushed open almost made me throw up. John’s hand tightened on mine. “His roommate was a good guy. Got a knife and cut me loose, but it could have been worse. What if someone else had found me? It could have been a lot worse.” I said, my voice cracking. “But not without a few reminders of just how stupid not knowing what you’re doing, can end up.”
I lifted my wrist, showing off my scars,
like he hadn’t already figured that out. “First, I started the blog, and I had people contacting me, wanting a place where they could try out all the stuff I talked about.
As a final step, I took some of the money from my trust, and I set up the club. At Ace’s we make sure everyone is safe. That people know what they are doing, and no one gets hurt, unless that’s what they are into.” I chanced a glance up at him, but I couldn’t read his expression. Probably feeling a lot of pity for the girl who let herself get maimed by a pretender in a fucking fedora. Talk about embarrassing.
“I think that’s amazing. What you’ve done and what you’re doing. You’ve probably helped hundreds of thousands of people discover things about themselves that they never even thought about. I know you did for me.”
Now, it was his turn to duck his head.
“I originally checked it out because Killian might have let it slip that you ran it, but then the more I looked into it, the more I liked it. The more I learned and wanted to try. You were always on my mind, Frankie. Always,” he said, running his fingers up and down my arm. It was now or never. My stomach flip-flopped as I closed my eyes.
“That’s good. Because there’s more to why I cancelled our last date.”
He jerked back, looking at me. I stood and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet.
“Come on,” I said, tugging him upstairs and through my bedroom and into the bathroom.
“This is why I cancelled.” I waved my hand over my bathroom counter pregnancy test collection like a showcase show model. He dropped my hand and stepped into the bathroom staring at the neat rows of tests covering the counter. He glanced from the tests to me and back to the tests. I clasped my hands in front of me and bit my bottom lip.
“You’re pregnant?” he asked in breathless disbelief.
“Yes.”
“You’re pregnant?” His eyes were wide and I couldn’t read his expression. He took a step toward me.
“Yes,” I said, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. His shoes squeaked on the tile floor as he rushed toward me, staring down at my stomach. He ran his hand over his forehead as he stopped short of me.
“Wow.” He took a deep breath and smiled. A small piece of the tightness in my chest loosened because he didn’t look pissed. He actually looked happy and excited and then a little of that faded away as he lifted his eyes to mine.
“Listen, I understand if you don’t want me to be involved or if you’re cool with the whole single mom thing, but I’d like to be there for you and the baby. I’ll do everything I can to support both of you. And—”
I decided to shut him up the best way I knew how. I wrapped my hands around the sides of his face and pulled him in for a kiss. Tears pouring down my cheeks and the stress of the past few days and the relief that came with knowing he cared about me too washed over me.
John picked me up and spun me around, lifting me onto the counter to kiss me breathless. I pushed my hands against his chest.
“There’s something else I want to show you,” I said, gulping down some air. The look on his face was priceless.
“Trust me. You’ll like this,” I said, hopping down from the counter and leading him back through the bedroom. His eyes darted to the bed and I held back a laugh.
“Not just yet, I said as we headed out into the hall and down the stairs.
27
JOHN - PRESENT DAY
“Trust me, you’ll like this.” Frankie’s words echoed in my head as we walked across the threshold of Ace’s. I’d never been prouder of my girl. My girl. The place was amazing. Everything you could think of that you’d need was here for every member.
She snuck me in the back door, so we didn’t have to walk through the main floor.
“I’m the boss, so I can get away with it, but I don’t like to bend the rules too often.”
“The wrist bands help people figure out who’s up for playing and who’s only here to watch. People can wear masks if that makes them comfortable. Everyone is tested four times a year and we keep on top of background checks to make sure we know who’s in the club.”
“The things I’ve seen go on here have been nothing short of amazing, even more so because I’ve never actually done any of it. People just assume and I don’t stop them from assuming, but it’s always been interesting to watch. Killian makes fun and thinks it’s only because I have a voyeur kink, but I’m making sure everyone is okay and following the rules.”
“Thank you for showing me. You’ve got quite a setup here. State-of-the-art and your members are damn lucky to have someone who’s so devoted to their well-being. I’ve been some places over the years and…let’s say, Ace’s is second to none.” There were some places that bordered on a health hazard, but this was like an upscale members-only bar. She’d covered all the bases, but there were a few things I still wanted to see.
“Do I get an in-person tour?”
She checked the clock and the monitors. There weren’t many people in the club since it was mid-week.
“Sure, let’s go.”
We walked from room to room. The area was deserted. I wondered if she cleared it just for me. Ethereal blue lighting filled some of the rooms. It was purple in others or green. We moved past one room, and my palms began to itch. I froze in the doorway as the lengths of rope were hung up along the far wall. Frankie stopped and turned back, realizing I hadn’t followed her.
She stared past me into the room, her eyes riveted to the wall. The neatly looped cords of rope of every color lining the wall. She took a hesitant step past me into the room and I followed, running my finger along one of the bundles. The soft fibers of the rope were perfect. Smooth and pliable, like they’d been used hundreds of times to get them just the right side of comfortable. A small placard sat above the rope.
‘Single Use Only. Once you use a rope, please leave it with your other play items in the changing area.’
Perfect. The perfect ropes for her. I ran my hands over the coils, letting the weight and texture sink in. I had my stash at home, but I’d put these up against those any day. I could see her shuddering breaths as she watched me with the rope. Her eyes drinking me in. It would be a real test of trust.
“If you were up for it, what do you think about maybe trying out some of the things you’ve always wondered about? Trying them here. You know this place. You know it’s safe and secure. You’ve built it that way. Why not take advantage of what you’ve created?”
I hefted a freshly wrapped forty-foot rope. Testing the weight and running my fingers over it. My mind raced as design ideas filled my head. The perfect pattern, knot placement to make this the best she’d ever had…until our next time that is.
“We have it specially prepared, so it’s extra soft,” she said, softly with her hands clutched in front of her.
“I can tell. They feel amazing. Have you ever felt them along your skin before?”
She shook her head. Her eyes tracked the rope as it swung when I moved. I didn’t see fear in her eyes. If I had I would have backed off immediately. It was curiosity mixed with hesitation. “I only test them with my hands to make sure they’re soft enough.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” I said, stepping closer. Taking it one step at a time, I approached her with the length of rope in my hands. Her eyes glued to the bright blue rope as it swung back and forth in my hand.
“How long have you been doing this?” she asked, not looking up at me.
“About five years.”
“And you’ve tied up a lot of women?” She glanced up at me with a hint of hurt in her eyes. I hated that look there. But I wasn’t going to lie to her. I’d tied other women up, but it was nothing compared to how it would be with her. No one else could compare to her.
“Not a lot. Some. I’ve taken a lot of courses, which is where I’ve practiced the most.”
That seemed to pacify her a little.
“What do you say?” I asked, standing in front of her. She licke
d her lips, and her eyes met mine. Fear and uncertainty filled them, but there was something else there that gave me a glimmer of hope. Desire.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
28
FRANKIE - PRESENT DAY
My body vibrated with nervous energy as we moved into a private room. I hadn’t assigned Killian’s to a new member yet, so it was available. Each of John’s muted footstep on the plush carpet reverberated through me as I sat on the bed. Waiting. The look in his eye when he had the rope in his hand made my pussy clench. I’d seen things like this done a thousand times and always wished I’d been fearless enough to try again. I had my chance. Any doubt I had about my safety fled the moment he uncoiled the rope and worked his way through the entire length, checking it over for imperfections or anything that might hurt my skin. My breath came out loud and choppy.
I had my legs tucked up under me as I waited for him to finish his prep. The anticipation was killing me, but I couldn’t find the words to tell him. He stepped in front of me with the rope coiled and ready for whatever he had in store for me. With his free hand, he slid it behind my neck and rubbed his thumb along my cheek, tilting my head up.
“I’m going to bind you, but I’m not going to tie your hands,” he said, his eyes boring into mine. I could barely hear him over the sound of my own heartbeat.
I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. The thought of being completely incapacitated, even by John, had a gnawing worrying in the back of my mind. But knowing I’d have my hands free put that worry to bed. I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded again.
“I need your words, Frankie,” he said. The command in his voice sent a shiver down my spine. A delicious tingle that helped me find my voice.
“Yes.” My voice came out husky and laced with wanting. He slid his hands under my shirt and lifted it up and over my head, my hair flopping into my face. He brushed it aside and draped it over one shoulder. With his hand extended, he helped me up from the bed and ran his hands under the waistband of my pants, sliding them and my panties off in one smooth motion. He ran his fingers through my hair, tugging me to him, kissing me until my lips throbbed and unclipped my bra, letting it fall as he stepped back. I was completely exposed in front of him, while he was totally clothed.
