My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1)

by Gillian Jones

  I finally manage to compose myself and make my way out to the bar for the pre-shift meeting. As I walk, I give myself a little pep talk and a reminder to remain calm, seeing as tremors of excitement are coursing through my body from just thinking about what happened. Holy shit, that was hot!

  ***

  I catch up to Brooke and Naomi as they discuss who will work what section tonight.

  “Kat, do you have a preference? ’Cause I really like working the VIP section,” Brooke says.

  “No, I never care what section I have; you guys can work it out. I really don’t have a preference yet. It’s all still new, I’m easy,” I answer, “but thanks for asking.”

  Thank goodness these two have been nothing but nice. Levi had really made me nervous that maybe they wouldn’t be, because of that comment he made back when I first started. Lucky for me, we get along great; there is no cattiness at all.

  “Well, how about you work the front section just off the main bar?” Brooke suggests. “Seeing as it’s 2-for-1 bar shots tonight, it’s gonna be crazy in every section, honestly really it doesn’t matter where we all end up.” She giggles. “We’re all gonna get paid.”

  “Yeah, sure, I can do that section, no problem,” I say.

  And, of course, I’m sectioned closest to the main bar…Ryker’s bar. Not only will I be back and forth a million times tonight, but we’ll also be in each other’s view the whole night. Perfect, just bloody perfect. Who am I kidding? I’m totally okay with it as much as I wish I wasn’t. Naomi must hear my mutterings, or sees it on my face, because she asks me if everything is all right. I tell her everything is great and maybe I’m just a bit nervous about working a busy Friday night.

  “Just you wait, Kat, you will be begging Claire to permanently give you this shift. Friday nights are the best. Everyone is in the mood to wind down, the hotties are all out, and with the 2-for-1 shooters, the tips are insane. I wouldn’t be surprised if you make more in tips tonight than you did all week,” she comments with a smile.

  Luckily for me, my shift flew by. But best of all, it ran by nice and smooth, giving me very little time to worry about Ryker or what happened between us earlier.

  Naomi was right. It was crazy busy and I did indeed make a small fortune in tips tonight. I think Levi might have been right, too; these tight shirts definitely help, not that I would ever admit it to him, though.

  Ryker and I did manage to have our fair share of not so stolen glances throughout the night. Every time I’d try to steal a look, I’d find his honeybutter eyes already looking my way. Honestly, it was a little unnerving, but hot at the same time. There were times I would venture to say it felt like he was looking out for me, making sure I was okay, especially when I was out serving the bigger groups of men. A few times, I could feel his gaze boring into my back. It was actually a nice feeling having his eyes on me tonight. And I swear, the few times his hands brushed mine as he handed me my full trays, actual sparks could have been seen. Geez, I sound like a smitten schoolgirl with a crush on the popular boy. Wow, that doesn’t really sound too far off, actually.

  I’d be very interested to see just how caught up in this boy I could get. If only I could get Ryker to talk to me in full sentences, I think as I collect my things from my locker. Just being back in here makes my skin comes alive, and all I can think about is him. Walking back out to the bar, I wave to the girls, but don’t stay to see if I can find Ryker. I’m not brave enough yet to try and talk to him about what’s going on between us.

  Smiling at the thought of him, I make my way out to my car. Walking out, I breathe in the fresh air, taking in the sounds of crickets in the distance. I’m loving the cool night breeze as it kisses my arms and legs. It was hot and stuffy in the bar tonight and I’m a sweaty mess. I’m beyond looking forward to getting home and unwinding with a long bath and delving into Malevolent by Cassia Brightmore. I could use a good creepy read tonight. This is one of the pros to having insomnia, lots of reading time. 2 a.m. is nothing to a girl like me.

  Someone’s leaning against the back of Bertha, legs crossed.

  “What the hell—Seth? What the hell are you doing here?” I say, and stop in my tracks. I’m shocked, and somewhat panicked, wondering what he wants and how he knew I’d be at Pub Fiction tonight. He looks the opposite, relaxed, like he’s hasn’t a care in the world. It’s an odd look for him, really, because he had always been agitated, well, around me anyway.

  “How…how did you know where I work?” I question, my voice shaky.

  “Hi, beautiful. I told you we needed to talk. So, I’m here. I got shit to say, and you’re gonna hear me out,” he says, making his way toward me.

  My eyes dart around the mostly vacant lot, noting a jacked-up truck to the left of us and a few stragglers waiting on cabs off in the distance. Phew! At least we’re not alone. Not that Seth ever hurt me physically, but I want nothing to do with him. At all.

  “You’re supposed to be in Ottawa, Seth,” I remind him. “And we’re done. I’ve…I’ve moved on,” I stammer, clutching my keys tighter, but he doesn’t balk. He’s moved right in front of me, blocking the driver’s side of my car. “We’ve been over this. Stop calling, stop texting, and, as a matter of fact, don’t come near me again!” My breathing becomes heavy as I’m getting upset that he has the nerve to think I want anything to do with him.

  “Oh, doll, don’t say that. We’re gonna work it all out,” he says, his blue eyes serious as his blond hair falls across his forehead.

  “No, we’re not. I am d-o-n-e,” I spell it out for him.

  I try to move past him to get into my car, but he grabs my arm and pulls me against his side. “I said I had shit to say, Kat. I need you to listen. You’re going to fucking listen. I need you, sugar,” he says. I cringe at that pet name.

  “No, Seth!” I yell. “You had me. You changed us. Not me!”

  Pulling hard, I manage to break out of his hold, but the momentum causes me to fall backward, and I land on my ass. And just as my ass kisses the asphalt, I hear him.

  Ryker.

  “What the fuck is this? Are you okay, Kat?” Ryker asks, while helping me up. He places his hand on my cheek and waits for assurance, but I find myself unable to make any words come out. He gestures in Seth’s direction, seething. “This asshole giving you a hard time?”

  “No, no, everything’s okay, thank you. I’m fine. I just tripped is all,” I lie to him and I don’t know why. Maybe I don’t want him to think I’m weak. Useless.

  “Besides, I was just leaving,” I say as I open the driver’s door with purpose, knowing Seth won’t try to stop me with Ryker here.

  “Kat,” Seth seethes, “we need to talk. We’re not done here.”

  “Oh, no, bud. I believe you are done. Way past fucking done. Kat, go on ahead, sweetheart, I got this,” he says and offers me a small smile before turning back to Seth.

  I really don’t want to leave. A part of me wants to stay and make sure Ryker is okay, to stay and deal with Seth myself once and for all, but I know Ryker can take care of himself…and me, too, for that matter. Seeing Ryker quick to defend me sparks a familiar emotion in me, one I’ve gotten from Claire, and that feeling is trust. For some reason, it feels like I can trust him…already.

  Without another glance, I get in my car and peel out of the lot as my tires slip a bit at my speed.

  What the fuck was all that?

  How the hell did Seth know where I work? I’m shaking as thoughts of Seth plague my mind.

  What the hell was he thinking?

  Oh, God, what the hell will Ryker think? Shit.

  ***

  Half an hour later, I’m home and comfy in my boy shorts and black tank top. I’m too hyped up to read my book, instead I’m unwinding from this strange night by watching TV. I’m trying not to think about Seth and everything else that happened, when I hear a light knock at the door. I’m home alone. Claire is still with out with Colby, as for the girls, I assume they are partying somewh
ere after the bar they all went to closed. Obviously, I’m a bit reluctant to answer it. Shit. It better not be Seth.

  I quietly tiptoe across the living room, cell phone in hand ready to dial 911 if needed. I make my way to the top of the stairs and wait to see if the person is still there in the dark. Damn, I wish I had left the light on. Maybe it’s just a drunk student at the wrong house? I stand there, my legs feeling a bit like jelly, palms sweaty. I hate being home alone at night sometimes, and this is exactly why. I stand perfectly still and hope they’ve got the wrong house, or whoever it is will just give up and go away.

  Suddenly, there is a series of harder knocks, and I startle, letting out an embarrassing yelp.

  “Kat, it’s me, Ryker. Open up.”

  I immediately calm, letting out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, relieved at the sound of concern in his voice.

  Holy Shit, Ryker is at my door. I check myself over in the mirror, making sure I look okay. Whoa, girl, who cares what you look like at 3 a.m.?

  Opening the door, I’m met with Ryker’s honeybutter eyes staring down at me intently. Ryker is at my doorstep at almost three in the morning. He scans me from head to toe and I swear I feel it everywhere. Jesus, what is it with this guy?

  Stepping closer, he cups my face again like he did in the parking lot. My breathing hitches and he smirks. “I was just on my way home. I needed to make sure you were okay. I didn’t like that, Kat. Not one bit. You are going to explain it to me one day.” He drops his gaze to my lips, to my chest, and then back to my eyes.

  Like an idiot, I’m frozen. I’m caught off guard at his gesture, his kindness. I can’t seem find my voice, but I’m even more surprised at how I do want to tell him. I want to tell him everything about me. That’s twice tonight he’s shocked you, Rollins. Maybe you’re wrong about him.

  Staring up into his concerned face, I manage to utter a few words, “I’m all right, Ryker. Thanks to you. Thank yo—” Before I can finish, he pulls my face closer and kisses my forehead.

  “You’re welcome, sweet girl,” he says before kissing the side of my mouth. I will my brain to make my face turn that fraction it needs for full contact, but, of course, my whole being is overwhelmed that it doesn’t cooperate. “We’ll pick this back up soon, Kat. Go and get some rest. It’s late.”

  And with that, he’s gone just as fast as he came.

  Well, I’ll be damned.

  Chapter 13

  Kat

  The one thing I can’t seem to do like most people my age is sleep in, like ever, even before I had insomnia. I have the internal alarm clock of a child. Regardless of how late I go to bed or how many days my insomnia has affected me, after five hours, I’m wide awake, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, with no hope of going back to sleep. Especially when I have nights that end like last night did. There was no way I could shut my mind off.

  As Saturday morning rolls around, I’m the first one up. I might be the only one home. I pad down the stairs with a plan of action in mind: Netflix and coffee! I give the place a onceover, noticing their shoes and bags are strewn everywhere as if a tornado roared through the condo sometime early this morning. I guess falling asleep with my headphones on was a good thing. I can only imagine how loud the girls were coming in. I can see they’re all home, with the exception of Claire; her purse seems to be the only one missing from the cubbies in the front foyer. This, however, doesn’t surprise me in the least. I figured Claire would be spending the night at Colby’s.

  After a few hours of an Orange is the New Black marathon, Claire finally shows her face. The other girls are all still sleeping, so it’s pretty quiet. I end up scaring Claire with my greeting as I pop my head up over the back of the couch as she makes her way up the stairs from the front door.

  “Morning, sunshine! Did we have a good night?” I welcome her home in a singsong voice.

  “Gah! Jesus, Kat, what the actual fuck! You scared the piss out of me!” Claire yells.

  I giggle, add a “Gotcha!”, and point at her after she completes her mile-high jump.

  “Why the hell are you up this early, anyway? It’s Saturday, and didn’t you work until 2 a.m.?” she asks.

  I answer her question by giving her a ‘really?’ look.

  She quickly makes her apologies. “Oh, buddy, why didn’t you take a sleeping pill? You need to get some actual sleep. Isn’t this the fourth day this week?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know, but I can’t seem to want to take any Imovane. I’m still nervous it’s going to knock me out and I won’t wake up if I need to, even with the new dose Dr. Benson prescribed.”

  “Okay, but I think if you can’t sleep tonight, you should at least try taking half. I’ll be home, you won’t need to fear not waking up. I’ve got your back,” she says with a reassuring smile.

  “Thanks, lady. You are seriously the bestest friend a girl could ask for, Claire. I hope you know how much I love your face.”

  “We-ell,” she muses, dragging out the word, “seeing as you love me tons right now, what would ya say to hitting pause while I put my shit away and we’ll have us some Best Friend Forever TV time?”

  “I guess I could do that for you, but hurry up. I’m dying to see what happens next.”

  After quickly running upstairs to put her things in her room, Claire hits the kitchen to get coffee and grab some of her full of sugar cereal that she can’t live without, before returning to join me on the couch. Plopping down beside me, a huge smile on her face, she slouches with her feet propped up on the coffee table.

  “What are you waiting for? I’m ready, press play bee-yotch!”

  “Clearly you had a good time last night.” I grin.

  “Oh my God, Kat, you have no idea. The party was lots of fun. I seriously think we should have joined a sorority. I mean they were, like, so awesome. Like, everyone was just, like, so nice. Like, oh my God,” she adds in her best valley girl imitation. We both laugh; then she tells me about the party.

  “Colby was super sweet and fun. It’s weird, though; sometimes I feel more of a friend vibe, but that’s okay. We still get along great,” she shares. “I met a ton of super nice people and I would hang out with them again. They definitely know how to throw a party, that’s for sure. Kegs, kegs, and more kegs. We totally need to go to the next one and bring the other girls, too. There were a lot of hot guys there.”

  “Well, I’m not sure that’s really my scene. Frat parties are always huge, Claire. You know how I feel about too many people packed into small spaces. We’ll see when the time comes, okay?”

  “Sounds good, grasshopper. At least you didn’t shoot me down right away. Progress, young Jedi! Thanks again for covering my shift. I might just be willing to pay you back one day.”

  We’re watching our favourite show, when Claire breaks the silence. I’m surprised she lasted this long.

  “Now, about last night. Tell me, tell me. I am dying to hear all the details from start to finish,” she says, nudging my arm and raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. I laugh her off as she continues to torment me with her sharp elbow. “Did you get to work close to Ryker? Do you need me to hook you up, or did you get in on your own? Will you be paying off the saved-your-snatch-debt?” she crows.

  I can’t help but laugh at her by this point.

  “Could you now be preggers with what would be the most adorable baby ever?

  “Oh, my God, Claire. Let’s slow things down a bit, eh? It was one shift and we barely spoke,” I tell her, thinking how she’s going to flip when she finds out what really happened last night. She will totally lose her shit when I tell her about Seth showing up. Claire hates Seth with a passion because of the way he treated me and how he still won’t leave me alone. I decide to talk about the shift itself first.

  As I get ready to tell her all about my night, I think back on how his touches made me feel, as well as how incredible he was with the whole Seth incident. I can no longer deny how badly I want Ryker. No longer deny it
to myself, or to my best friend. More so now after the way he helped me with Seth and how he cared enough to stop by to make sure I was okay. But still, I’m scared to go down that path. He’d be no good for a girl like me. I’m not the one-night stand type, and I have a feeling that the more I get to know him, the more I’m going to want to keep him, which is not something he does. Ryker doesn’t do relationships.

  “The shift itself was both hectic and a lot of fun. I have to admit, I might have overreacted about the uniform after all; it appears to have its uses. I can’t believe how much I’ve been making in tips! I actually told Levi the other day not to bother ordering me the new size.”

  “Oh, yay, I’m glad. See, I’m all-knowing it would seem, eh?” she gloats.

  “Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re a savant, but I have to tell you, you were totally right about working Fridays, Claire. Friday nights are crazy, and I was like the shiny new toy; all the boys wanted a shot from the new girl,” I say.

  “I knew you’d come to appreciate the look. You need to listen to me more often, lady. When will you learn that I’m always right?” she adds.

  I give her another ‘yeah, yeah’ response, then decide to woman-up and finally tell her about the interesting part of my shift. The part I have been dying to share with her since she walked through the door this morning. I need to tell her what happened with sexy honeybutter after a six hour shift, one that was filled with sexual tension and recurrent thoughts of Ryker that were leaving me weak in the knees and wired as I hustled around the bar all shift. Then I tell her how I’ve been thinking about it all night along with the now-constant movie reel replaying highlights of the staff room incident over and over in my head, and how I am no closer to figuring out what the fuck happened than I was before. I need Claire’s advice. I know she jokes, but she really can be a great sounding board when I need her to be, and right now I need her opinion and guidance on how to proceed. All I have so far is that I’d like to have Ryker mount me like that again…but naked next time.