Yeah, this needs to end, and fast.
“Hey, hottie.” Fuck me, Sarah.
“Hey there, Sarah. Wow, nice costume. You’re one hell of a naughty looking bunny.” I look her over to make her happy. She smiles and I feel myself getting annoyed; this chick is wasting my time.
“Dance with me, handsome.” She puts her hands around my neck, bringing her body closer. Sarah tries to move in close to me, but I’m quick to remove her arms from my neck. “Rain check. I need to find someone.” I leave her stunned at my brush off, I can tell by her face, but she follows behind me anyway. I’m starting to think I’m going to have to be an asshole soon and tell her the score. I. Am. Not. Interested. She’s chatting on and on about shit I don’t even care about. I tune her out.
I need to get to Kat.
I need to get to her before Jay. I’ve seen him trying, trying to take what’s mine. I’m gonna break those fucking hands. Thank God she left after that. I’m hoping she isn’t into him, that she left to break the moment. She can’t be into him. I thought I was gonna lose it when his hand reached her ass. Fuck me, I need to think of a way to make her agree to be mine. Stalking my way over to Matt, I think, Fuck, I hate Halloween.
Chapter 30
Kat
I stand rooted at the bottom of the stairs thinking of my next move. I notice Claire looking my way, a knowing smirk on her face. I can’t do this, not tonight, not with the way Ryker consumes my thoughts. I can’t pretend anymore. I can no longer pretend I don’t want him, pretend Jay would even remotely be what I want.
As a war rages on inside of me—Go to him. Ignore him—back and forth in my stupid mind, I don’t move an inch from my spot. Who’s the girl with him? Is she with him? I must look like an idiot, but I can’t help it. It’s like I’m making one of the most important decisions, it feels like it to me anyway. In the end, the chicken in me wins out…the uptight me always wins, fucking dominant bitch. She’s the rational me, the one who knows it won’t work, that I’ll get hurt, the same one who knows I want more than one night.
With my decision made, I look around the house, trying to figure out where the hell to go now. I can’t go over there. Being the chicken shit I am, I look to the stairs beside me. With that, I head back upstairs, back to the washroom for some solace, some time to think. Who am I kidding? I’m totally going to hide. I take the stairs fast, heading for my destination, hoping it’s unoccupied, praying Ryker will be gone by the time I re-emerge. I’m praying he didn’t even see me, that maybe he doesn’t even know I’m here. Ha, I’m sure Claire let it be known as soon as she saw him, the traitor.
I feel him before I hear him. “Hot girl, stop,” he says with the growl I’ve come to recognize. But this one is like none I’ve heard from him before. This growl does things to my insides. I pause in my stride, more to make sure he’s actually calling to me. The next thing I know, Ryker is flush to my back. His breath a hair’s whisper away from my ear, he’s taking in my scent, smelling me. I stand still as an immediate case of jelly legs takes over. He’s sliding his mouth and nose under my ear, burrowing into my neck. “You think I’m hot? Ryker, you haven’t talked to me since the rec centre, what, you want us to be friends?” I state, when in reality I should be asking, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I gasp because all of a sudden, I’m spun around, made to meet Ryker face-to-face. Eyes to eyes. Fuck me, he’s beautiful. I drink him in; I can’t not. Those muscles, strong arms, the same ones holding my sides. God, all those muscles glistening under the dim lights of the hall. I swear I let out a moan at the heat I see staring back at me.
“Kat,” he begins, “hot is nowhere near the right word to describe what I think when I look at you. Fuck, baby, hot is an understatement. You are exquisite, smart, sweet, so perfect. And no, I don’t want to just be fucking friends with you. I want so much more.” Oh my! Did he just seriously say that to me? I swear my panties are beyond wet at this point; I wouldn’t be surprised to see the wetness seeping down my legs.
He doesn’t say anything else, and I cannot seem to find my voice at all in this moment. A moment that I know I will forever be replaying over and over in my mind. This stuff doesn’t happen to me. Wordless now, we’re standing there face-to-face, staring at each other, seemingly waiting for the other to make the next move. I’m about to say something, but then Ryker clasps my wrists, sending prickles of heat running down my spine. “Come with me.” He begins pulling me forward toward a door a few feet away from where we’re standing.
I know it sounds strange, but I’m not nervous. My heart is beating wildly in my chest, but it’s all adrenaline. I’m curious, in a trance-like state, willing to follow this man wherever he guides me. Maybe I’m not the chicken shit I thought I was. Maybe this is my chance. The chance to share my feelings, the chance to tell him I want to get to know him.
“Here.” He guides me through the door; I quickly notice we’re in his room; spying trophies and pictures with him and his family. Fuck, of course he lives here, too. What are the chances? How did I not know this? I wonder if my sneaky little bestie knew this. I just might have to hurt the bitch.
I turn back around to face Ryker, who I find standing with his back to the door watching me. Silently, and ever so slyly, he steps toward me. His eyes trained on me intently, I feel his stare all the way down to my toes. He reaches me in no time. Bracing my hips, he turns me around until my back is toward the door. Gently, he begins to walk me forward. “You’re so pretty,” he rumbles, pushing me softly, while rocking me back ever so lightly until I’m up against his bedroom door. My mind is racing on overdrive, panic taking over. No, no, I can’t do this. I can’t just be his for one night. Not now that I know he lives here. How am I supposed to resist this—him—if he lives here, just down the street? How can I not want him all the time? How will we ever work together? How will this affect Claire and Matt? God, I need to get a grip. I tell myself to just keep it together, to breathe. Nothing is going to happen. You can handle this. Just ignore these feelings he’s evoking. I can do it. I stand, keeping watch, anticipating Ryker’s next move.
The moment he begins to speak, my resistance completely crumbles, as I register the words falling from his lips. The incredibly powerful and all-consuming words that are being uttered from the mouth belonging to this sexy man standing in front of me. Words I can’t believe are aimed at me. And Wham! Just like that, I’m a goner. I am completely willing to give him anything he wants, without question, without hesitation, without regret; my previous plight to resist him evaporates. Fuck it, I’ll take one night.
“Kat, Jesus, baby, you’re my mind’s eye. God, lately all I see is you. I dream of you when I sleep. I wake to thoughts of you. Then I see you and, fuck, if you’re not all I need to see.”
“This,” he motions between us, “whatever this thing is with us—this spark, this pull—whatever the fuck you wanna call it, is gonna happen. Us, we’re gonna happen, eventually,” he groans, continuing, “Not tonight, though. You deserve much more than to be fucked in a room with a house full of people. You, Kat Rollins, need and deserve attention…worshipping.” I can’t help but gasp at his words. “We will fuck, Kat. Be it one night, if that’s all you’ll give me, I’ll take it. Like a starved man I will take all you’re willing to give, Kat. You’re fucking me up, making me forget my rules, but for some strange reason, I like it. I think you’re the girl who might be the exception to my rules. So, yeah, baby, we will happen.”
“Ryker,” is all I seem to be able to get out.
“Kat, I’ve wanted to be close to you again, ever since the night of that storm. God, Kat, I just want you close, baby. I can’t deny it anymore. I don’t want to stay away.” He nuzzles his face into my neck. “Fuck, you always smell so sweet. I want to savour your delectable body, taste and touch every inch. You deserve the comfort of knowing there’s no need to try and be quiet. Because, sweetheart, mark my words, when I get inside you, you will be the one growling. Growli
ng from the pleasure I plan on inflicting to your body, while you have no choice but to scream my name so loud that you’ll be heard for miles around.”
Holy fuck!
“Fuck, Kat, if I didn’t try to deny this. I tried to leave you alone. Dammit, baby, I did. But, I can’t. Seeing you tonight, dressed like the angel I see you as in my mind, God, you’re sexy as hell. I had to get to you, get to you before I ended my friendship with Jay with my fist pounding his face.”
I stand there in shock at this gorgeous man’s revelations. “Be ready, sweet girl, ’cause I will be coming for you. You will be mine.” With that, he takes my face in his hands and slams his mouth down onto mine in a soul-shattering kiss. A kiss that I feel all the way down to the tips of my toes. A kiss that steals not only my breath, but the last of my resolve.
I grant his tongue entrance. My legs nearly giving out, I groan into the kiss. But just as quickly as I’m ready to wrap my hands in Ryker’s hair to pull him closer into me, he pulls away from me. He growls one last time, “So fucking perfect, so goddamn sweet. Fuck, you make me weak,” then kisses my forehead.
“You are astoundingly gorgeous and that’s probably the least interesting thing about you, I’m sure, Kat. I can only imagine you are as amazing on the inside as you are on the outside, baby. And mark my words, I am going to know all of you. I am going to consume you, as you’ve been consuming me. You and me, we are gonna be much more.” He kisses my lips one last time.
Ryker easily moves me from the front of his door. I stand there staring up at him in what must look like a complete state of shock. Drool, I imagine, running down my face at his words.
He turns to me before leaving and grits out one last warning. “Stay away from Jay, Kat…You’re mine.” And with that, he leaves me standing in his room dumbfounded. Panties beyond wearable in public, my heavy breasts aching with need. Asshole.
Chapter 31
Ryker
Fuck, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t mean to virtually attack her like some kind of unhinged animal. I’m sure she still thinks of me as a buffoon from the other times I’ve fucked up, and now I’ve just gone and confirmed it. Shit, I mutter to myself, walking to the end of the hall, intending to head back downstairs to the party to pretend like nothing happened. A stupid party that I wish wasn’t even happening anymore. I really hate Hallo-fuckin’-ween. I need a fucking drink bad, along with some space to think about what the hell is going on with me.
I needed to get away from that sweet angel before I treated her like the fucking devil I am, the one who wants to fuck her long and hard. I swear to God, I should get a medal. It took everything to walk away, leaving her in my room untouched and fucking willing. And now, no doubt, pissed off. I know she wants me. At my touch, her willingness couldn’t be hidden anymore, no matter what her mind may say. Responsive to my touch, so damn pliable in my arms, I’m getting hard again just thinking about it. Fuck me sideways and piss on the medal, I should be sainted.
I end up bypassing the stairs, detouring to the bathroom. I have to get myself and my throbbing cock under control, which is impossible at this point because I can’t stop fucking thinking about her. Her lips, her sounds—dammit—she even tasted better than I ever imagined she would. Locking the door, I run cold water over my face, the shock and sting of the water doing nothing to subside my thoughts.
Fuck, what this girl does to me. Man, the way she easily surrendered to my touch, allowing me to take her luscious mouth, allowing me to talk to her the way I did, crudely and matter-of-fact. Telling her—warning her really—with no uncertainty, of the things to come. And fuck if she didn’t waver, not once. Rather, she simply groaned as I laid it all out for her. Fuck me. I need this girl like I need air to breathe. I know I can’t wait much longer; I’ve given the idea of being in a committed relationship enough thought. It’s what I want, what I’m ready for with Kat. For some reason, I know without a doubt, once I get inside of her mind, body, and soul, there will be no way I’m going to want to leave. Kat is who I want. I’ve watched her. I see her as nothing short of kind-hearted and sweet, always willing to help out above and beyond, smiling, happy. She is perfect. It’s time I stop standing in my own way; it’s time I go for it.
Chapter 32
Kat
Following my encounter with Ryker, I stayed in his room for a while hoping he’d come back. Finally giving up on the idea, I rejoin my friends, knowing Claire is probably worried.
“Where the hell have you been, Kat? You’ve been gone for a long time. Are you okay? Oh lord. Please tell me you were upstairs getting it on with you-know-who.” She winks before adding, “Yes, my dear. I saw Ryker follow you.”
“Jesus, Claire, keep it down, would you?” I grit out, looking around, making sure no one else is listening to her big mouth.
“I may not know where you ended up all this time, or what in the hell you were doing, but I do know you, and something happened. I also know that sexy man-beast, Ryker, was with you. ’Cause he all but chased after your sexy ass once he saw you heading back up the stairs. And I know whatever went down was juicy.”
At my silence, she goes on to scold me for leaving her hanging in suspense. I have to admit, sometimes it’s fun to watch her squirm, trying to get the good gossip.
“Oh, okay. You wanna play like Fort Knox? Fine for now. But mark my words, missy, you will be dishing later, my friend; you can count on that. I can be very persuasive. Go on and have fun. Drink, dance, and be all secretive, but you and I will be talking,” she quips, impressed with herself.
I have to give it to her; she is pretty relentless when she wants something. I can’t help my next words as we stand in the middle of the dance floor.
“Okay, later. Now stop giving me shit in the middle of the bloody dance floor. I already feel on edge. Now I need a stiff drink—or five—and to get back to dancing with my bestie.” I offer a smile, trying to appease her.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay, Kat. You look like you’re hiding something. He didn’t do anything to you, did he? ’Cause I will kick his ass if I need to.”
“Claire, I’m fine. Nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen. You’re right. He did follow me, and we talked, although brief. But I don’t want to get into it here. Not when all these people are around. I need to forget it, because in all honesty, he’s an asshole who’s playing with me like I’m a new untouched toy, and I am not going to be another play in his overused game book.” With this, I know Claire will drop it for now. She sees I’m affected by what went down upstairs and she knows I’ll open up when I’m ready to talk. Fucking Ryker and his leaving me like that for what, the second time now? There is no way I’ll let him get near me like that again. That is the last time he’ll leave me practically begging like a fool.
I have a few more drinks and dance the night away, trying my hardest not to keep looking for a certain someone and ignoring my thoughts about everything that happened upstairs. I can say I wasn’t as chipper and fun as when we’d first arrived. My world has just been thrown off its axis.
For some stupid reason, though, like the good girl he wanted me to be, I did heed Ryker’s warning and stayed away from Jay; although, I’m not really sure why. It’s not like he stuck around to finish what he started upstairs, but I guess deep down, I know whatever that was, it’s most certainly not over. And truth be told, despite knowing better, I’m not sure I want it to be.
After I left the party, I lie in my bed replaying over and over what happened upstairs between Ryker and me. The more I think about it, the more confused, frustrated, and angry I’m getting. Hearing him say he feels there is some strange spark between us is reassuring. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling it, that I’m not going crazy or delusional. It’s clear we have a definite attraction; there is no denying it’s there, like a magnetic force which cannot be tamed. But with knowing his type, I cannot help but see the flashing warning signs from miles away. Wondering if I’m just another play i
n his game where the goal is to fuck me like all the others I’ve been told about. It’s no secret that Ryker is the epitome of a player, and I seriously don’t need to be hurt again. Getting involved with a guy like him can only spell disaster for a girl like me. I’m not looking to be a game; I’m looking to be the game changer. In the meantime, I’m happy to wait on the sidelines for Mr. Right.
I continue to think how he’s just a dick who’s just been playing a game with me, who said all those sweet things to help get into my panties. Maybe he thinks he told me what I want to hear? Would he really say all those things just to get laid? I mean, most girls love hearing about connections, feelings, and pretty much insta-love. Dammit, I hate feeling like this. I hate when I get excited about a guy, and then do this to myself. What if all his talk about us, his feeling it too, an imaginary pull, us having a connection…a spark, what if it was sincere? What if he really feels something? What then?
Ryker isn’t just an ordinary boy; no, he is a player. An alpha male who doesn’t do more than fuck, just as I’ve been told on more than one occasion now anyway. Since working at Pub Fiction, I’ve heard more than my fair share of stories about the infamous Ryker Eddison.
Thinking back on it now, I’m more than certain Ryker is just laying the groundwork to get himself laid; he couldn’t possibly change. Change for me. Once a player, always a player, right?
Brooke and Naomi themselves pretty much warned me off him and his flirtatious ways months ago. The fact that the guy needs a message bowl because he’s so in demand should be all the justification I need. Could I even compete or deal with his entourage of hootchies?
I’m tired of being in limbo with this man. I will not allow Ryker to affect me any longer, or get to me. Nor will I let him tell me the way things are going to be between us. I know he’s hotter than Hades, and believe me, the visions I have created in my mind at the promises of pleasure that seeped from his mouth tonight would no doubt be like anything I’ve ever experienced. But I can’t just be another name added to the bowl of women waiting for more from Ryker Eddison. Not that I wouldn’t love to give into Honeybutter even for a night, but I can’t. I won’t.
My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1) Page 18
