God, I knew I wasn’t cut out for this shit. Not with a player like Ryker Eddison. I know better. I’ve known better this whole time.
But fuck me if I don’t think maybe it was all worth it.
Holy fudge nuggets, can that boy fuck! And he really is a good guy.
I really suck with this acting like everything’s okay, that I am all right, pretending that shit with Ryker isn’t affecting me. That what I experienced with him a week ago doesn’t matter. Claire’s been all over me, trying to get me to open up about what exactly happened between us and why I’ve needed to take my sleeping pills so much. She’s offered to go over and kick his ass a few times this week.
As I’m studying in my room, Claire busts in. “Kat, get the fuck up and get dressed. You need to put the textbooks away and get the hell out of the house. Enough is enough. You, Radha, and I are heading to Pub Fiction for a few drinks. Levi was able to give me the night off. Besides, you look like you could use a couple.”
“Are you frickin’ kidding me, Claire? I am not going there now, tonight, maybe not ever.”
“Oh, don’t be melodramatic, Kat. You’ll get through this; it’s a glitch. They happen.”
“You’re right, Claire, it is, and I will get over it, but you have no idea how I feel.”
“I know you don’t want to talk about it now, but, girl, this shit is messed up. I’ve never seen you so fucked up. It’s like you’re fine, but not. It’s like you’re crazy, to be honest.” Claire sighs, closing the door, giving us more privacy. I know she worries, but I don’t need this right now.
“Well, I’m sorry, Claire,” I snap at her. “Sorry we all can’t have perfect relationships with every guy we meet. I can’t help it if I’m goddamn confused. I knew this shit with Ryker was going to hurt, but you know what? I’m not hurt. I’m seriously beyond it. I knew it was going to be a mistake fucking with Ryker, but I’m not upset about that. What I’m upset about is the fact that I was a chicken shit and left him. Like a fucking coward, I left. When everything we did had felt so right, I left just like he probably wanted.”
“Aww, Kitty, come here. It’s going to be okay,” Claire states while moving onto my bed to hug me.
“No, it’s not, actually. Don’t you get it? I fucked up. I’m pissed off that I gave in, that I let my greedy lady bits take over my brain where Ryker was concerned. And truth be told, I want more… a lot more. I’ve needed my sleeping pills because I can’t shut my mind off. All I do is sit and think about the way my body moulded to his, how he made me feel beautiful, wanted…different.”
“Kat, believe me when I say this. I think you are different. From what I’ve heard, Ryker is definitely different with you. According to Matt, he’s never seen Ryker, so…so, ah…I need to say this, but don’t get mad. Matt said he’s never seen Ryker so alone, if you know what I mean.” She cringes at the last part, knowing all too well that I won’t find any comfort in that at all.
“Great! Thanks for the ‘you’re falling for the player’ reminder; that’s just what I needed!”
“Oh, for fuck sakes, Kat. You know that wasn’t the goddamn point of that. The point is, you are different. Maybe he’s just giving you space? Maybe he thinks you don’t want him? Maybe he thinks you regret it? Maybe you need to get your head out of your ass and go over and talk to him? Didn’t he tell you the other night that you guys would figure it all out? Dude, I’m really thinking you might be the one who fucked this up. So why not go get what you want? If it’s him that you want, Kitty Kat, go get your catnip.” I can’t help but laugh at this. Claire really is such an amazing friend.
We end up talking for a long time, and I gave her pretty much all the juicy details she wanted. She squealed like a slaughterhouse pig when I told her how fucking hot this man is. And how he gave me the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had.
***
It’s Thursday night and I’m preparing a math lesson for my primary math class tomorrow morning, and, of course, Ryker pops into my mind. He was great about helping me with my math. I can’t help to wonder how great it would be to have him around all the time to help me figure this shit out. God, I’m behind in my assignments; it’s crazy. I can’t believe tomorrow’s December. Where the hell did the semester go? I need to get him outta my head. Before I know it, winter break will be here. This weekend will need to be a school focused one for sure. Sitting here working, though, I’m too distracted and I can’t help but laugh at myself.
Who would have thought that “Ms. High Strung” really just needed a good shagging, like a really, really, really amazing shaggin’ actually? I never expected to feel like this. I’ve been stressing over this boy for months now. Trying to deny my feelings, when in the end, it seems as if being around him, one-on-one relaxes me, makes me happy. Looking back on the past few months, my focusing on Ryker has helped me to be less uptight, more spontaneous and fun. One of the biggest things I smile at is the fact I haven’t slept that well in years as I did in Ryker’s bed. It wasn’t just from the sex either. When Ryker held me, I felt calm, my mind at ease. It was a strange feeling, one I’d give anything to feel again. Hmph, like that’s going to happen. In the end, I left, saving face before Ryker dismissed me, as I’m sure he’s done many times to many girls before. You made the right decision.
Fuck!
Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow I work with Ryker.
I think I’m going to vomit.
Chapter 46
Ryker
December
Pulling up to Pub Fiction, I immediately spot Kat’s car parked in the lot. I still smile every time I see that little Beetle bug, the same one I noticed on my street all those months ago. Perfect. We’re both early. Levi’s plan just might work. I walk to the bar after parking my car next to hers. I’ve got a nervous energy buzzing around me. It’s been a week now and I’m done with this shit. We’re going to get things straight right fucking now. I nearly trip over myself rushing to get inside. Levi is cleaning glasses as I approach and looks up, nodding his head at me with a knowing smirk.
He waves to me as I walk up to the bar. “Hey, buddy, you’re girl is waiting for you as promised. God, you’re lucky to have such an awesome brother like me,” he laughs as I walk past.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re the shit, big man. Thanks. Oh, and don’t bother coming down the hall for at least the next hour. If things go my way, there is make up sex in my future,” I add with a wink.
Levi called Kat in telling her he needed some extra help with planning the Christmas auction this year. He knew she would want to help because she had offered before. This was the perfect excuse to get her in here early.
Every year, we hold a fundraiser for local community support programs. This year we are sponsoring Food4Kids. It’s an organization that delivers food bags to school children in need on Friday afternoons so they have healthy food over the weekend. It’s a great organization, and with Kat wanting to be a teacher, he knew she’d be willing to help, no questions asked.
Little does she know, the only meeting she’s going to be having is with me.
Chapter 47
Kat
Making my way into work early had me a bit on edge to be honest. But I soon feel relief as I pull into the parking lot and see only Levi is here. Thank goodness. I’m actually excited he’s taken me up on my offer to help plan the fundraising events for this year’s charity night. I have many good ideas and can’t wait to get started.
Walking in, I say a quick hi to Levi, letting him know I’m here and I’m just going to run and change.
“Take your time, Kat. I’ve got a few things to finish before we sit down and meet anyway,” he tells me as I head to the staff room.
I’m standing at my locker in my bra and panties when I hear the door jiggle. Now I know for a fact I’ve locked it. Believe me, Claire was right, it’s become a sick little habit, like some kind of OCD compulsion where I check it over and over four or five times before believing it’s locked. When I hear the jiggle I
shout out, “Oh sorry, Levi. I’m changing. Just give me a sec!” But there is silence. No reply, no apology, nothing! Huh, well, that’s kind of rude, I think to myself; it’s not like he didn’t know I was in here. God, I hope he’s not turning into a creep. I really like him and would hate to have to tell him off. Shaking that thought away, preferring to think he probably thought I was done, I continue to dress, making a mental note to talk to him about better staff room protocols when I’m finished.
I’m putting on my pantyhose when I hear a key in the lock and the door opening. What the actual fuck! We need a fucking sign on the door saying occupied or something ’cause this system is not working for me at all. I quickly throw my sweater over my head, covering my boobs. Now I’m just pissed. This is not like Levi, and to be honest, I’m a little freaked out at the moment knowing it’s just him and me here. Shit.
Did I just hear a growl?
Breaking me out of my ridiculous thoughts, I shake my head. Thinking I’m being an idiot, I look up to see who the fuck would open the door when they know someone is in here. My eyes meet his and my heart jumps into my throat as I take in all his beauty…and is that anger?
Ryker.
Chapter 48
Ryker
Reaching the door, I realize I need to calm myself down. I can’t barge in losing my shit, demanding all the things I want to. If I do that, I won’t get the results I want, and I’m more than aware of that. Steadying myself, I take a deep breath while putting my hands on the doorknob, with every intention to walk in rationally and ask Kat to talk to me. Locked.
I know Kat is the only one inside, I decide to use my master key to get to my girl. Perk of being the boss’s brother. As I open the door, I can’t fucking believe my luck.
Kat is standing by her locker in sexy-as-fuck black lace panties, pantyhose half way on one leg, while barely getting her sweater over her head in time before she sees it’s me who’s just walked in.
“Ryy-ker,” she whispers almost inaudibly. God, my name falling from her lips affects me as if she was wrapping her mouth around my cock. I’m instantly rock hard. Maintaining eye contact, I move to close and lock the door. With the “click,” I stand, leaning on the door, taking in this fucking girl. The air begins to thicken immediately as I stare at her. This girl who has been my mind’s motherfucking eye for the last four God damned months. Yeah, I’m ready for this. I fucking need this girl and she is going to listen to all I have to say. Then I’m going to take up permanent residence in her pussy and her heart.
Kat Rollins is mine. Enough said.
“Kat,” I all but growl, “we need to talk, baby. We need to talk right the fuck now.” I can’t help the command in my voice, but thankfully, she doesn’t balk at my tone.
“Ah-umm, no, Ryker. I’m pretty sure everything between us is said and done. There isn’t anything left to talk about. You got what you’ve been wanting from me. We’ve fucked; it’s all good.” I can see she doesn’t believe her words; they lack the conviction I’ve heard in them before. Thank Christ.
Oh, hell no, she will not be dismissing me like this. I can tell by the reflex in her voice that she’s spewing bullshit. Telling me what she thinks I want to hear. She’s letting me off the hook. Fuck that!
Clearing my throat, I begin to tell her how it really is, not allowing her to believe this fucked up notion she’s got going on in her beautiful head.
“You see, hot girl, that’s where you’re wrong. Beyond fucking wrong,” I deadpan as I strut forward to where she’s standing. “I didn’t get all I want,” I say, now standing infinitely close to her face. “Not by a long shot. You see, baby, I told you we were gonna talk about us,” I add before moving in closer, taking her hands in mine, kissing them both before pinning her up against her locker, arms now raised above her head. Her chest is heaving; her eyes are wild with uncertainty as she tries to speak.
“B-b-b-ut you, you…It’s been a week. I…I-I thought…Ryker…” She lowers her head in defeat. I take her wrist in one hand to free the other so I can reach her chin to tilt her head to mine. “Eyes on me, baby. I need you to see me, Kat. I need you to listen.” Reluctantly, her eyes meet mine and I see it; I see that I’ve hurt her. Kat may act tough, but she’s just as affected as I am. Shit, that’s the last thing I wanted. To hurt her.
“Don’t think that, Kat. It was a mistake not to chase you.” I nuzzle her neck, licking her jawline to her ear before enunciating, “I. Am. An. Idiot. I want you, Kat. I want you so fucking bad. But this bullshit, it’s your fault too, baby. You snuck out of my bed,” I scold, licking along her earlobe. “Left like we were nothing, and believe me, Kat, we’re fucking something,” I add while moving my hand along her stomach up to her chest.
“When I’m with you, around you, it all feels real. It feels good, like this—like you—just might be my forever, and I can’t help thinking it will always be this good. That we will always be this good. And ’cause of that, I can’t not see this through, Kat. Granted, I’m an asshole for not coming after you, but don’t you dare think for one minute that I don’t know it and haven’t regretted it all week. Kat, I’ve never felt like this before. I’ll make it up to you, my sweet girl; just give me the fucking chance.” God, I’m such a fucking pussy.
“Okay, Ryker, okay,” she starts softly, eyes trained on mine. “I admit you’ve been driving me crazy for the last few months. I don’t want to want this, but I can’t deny there is something pretty potent between us. But I asked you not to hurt me, and last week, in the end, you did. Maybe not on purpose, but you did, and I’m scared you’re going to change your mind, or realize I’m not what you want. That I’m just a game. God, this is a risk for me too, Ryker. You’re a man-whore and I’m the uptight girl who is always falling for the wrong guy. I mean, come on, Ryker, it’s not like you’re known for giving out too many second dates. What happens when you’re over this, over us? I guess I just didn’t think you’d want another with me either, or a first, for that matter.” She gives me a small giggle. Seeing her vulnerable and opening up to me like this sparks something in me so profound that I look her dead in the eyes and admit for the first time what I have known all along.
“Kat,” I admonish, “I’m scared, too. I’m freaked out by how intense my feelings are for you already. It’s fucking making me crazy. But all things aside, I haven’t been this fucking happy in a really long time. This fucking game we’ve had going has made me happy, excited again. And it hasn’t just been the chase, Kat, it’s you. It’s you who’s been making me feel things I haven’t in years. Listen, I’ve been hurt before, and I chose to be a dick about it. Something one chick did to me. But with you, I just know I want more. Kat, I want all of you. I want to know what makes your eyes light up with joy, what makes this pulse and beat,” I place my hand on her heart, “but most of all, I want to be there for you. I want your smiles, your giggles, and best of all, I want your kisses.” I nudge the tip of her nose with my lips.
Staring up at me, tears running down her face, a smile slowly starts to spread across her beautiful face, and I swear to God, it’s like rain in the middle of a drought. So fucking welcome and fucking needed. I release her hands and she immediately wraps them around my neck, peering her jade eyes toward mine. She brings her pouty lips to mine and seriously begins brushing her lips against them with what feels like butterfly wings flapping ever so gently against my lips. Then with a whimper, it’s like a crescendo of need takes over. Kat begins pulling at my hair where her hands are wrapped tightly around my neck, pulling me in closer and sealing our lips together.
It is so on.
Quickly, I lift her up off the ground. Instantly, she’s wrapping her legs around my waist, climbing me, out of desperation as well as for the need of closeness. Fuck me, does she feel good, all lush and unbelievably sexy, moulding herself against me. Holding on to her, I pretty much bang us into the locker while we’re all lips, licks, and tongues while mumbling our apologies, thank gods and I need yous. Rubbing her b
are legs, I decide screw this. I need in this girl yester-fuckin-day. I walk us over to the ottoman, and I smile thinking back to the last time we were on it.
“Christ, Kat, your legs are fucking sexy. I love feeling you up on me like this. Jesus, what you do to me.” Sitting us down on the ottoman, her on my lap, I make quick work and remove her fucking hoodie from getting in my way. Needing to see, touch, and feel my girl.
“You see, Kat, you’ve been a bad girl,” I say, nipping at her nipples, coaxing them to come out to play. “You left me, Kat, and I didn’t like it. Not one fucking bit. I told you, sweet girl. You. Are. Mine,” I grate out in her ear, pushing our chests, fusing them together. Her breath hitches before she releases the most erotic sound I have ever heard. She reaches back and whips her bra off, taking my breath away with her boldness. Growling, I palm her sweet tits in my hand, but it isn’t enough. Using my hands, I take each of her breasts, moulding, moving, all while rubbing them I gently squeeze them close together before unleashing the onslaught of my greedy mouth, tongue, and stubble all the fuck over her glorious rack. Fuck me! I could cum all over her tits and die a very happy man. Kat is mewling, moaning; she’s pretty much losing her mind. She is fucking hot with want; I make quick work of my own shirt, tossing it behind me. Deciding I want her to ride me, I quickly lift her to unzip my pants. Kat, aware of my plan, helps to rid me of them completely. Sitting on the ottoman once again, Kat straddling my waist, I once again cup her face, as I tend to do. Looking deep into lust filled eyes, I vow, “I promise to make you happy, sweet girl. So fucking happy, every day. All I want is a fair shot. A chance to prove to you I am the man who deserves you. All of you.”
My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1) Page 22
