“Please,” I whisper. I can’t think of anything worse than him walking out and leaving me alone right now, but it’s not enough. No sooner does the word pass my lips, he’s up on his feet and backing away from the bed.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here.” His voice is full of regret as he stares at me. Eventually, he turns and disappears from my sight. His footsteps thunder down the stairs and the sound of the front door slamming shakes the entire house.
* * *
Ben never came back home that night, or the next day. Once I knew he’d really left the house that night, I let all my frustration out. I cried for longer than I’m willing to admit. My tears were full of disappointment, regret…and desire. I want to be able to say there was some shame in there, but there wasn’t. And in a way, I’m ashamed for not feeling it. Nothing about that kiss and his touch felt shameful. Every moment since he walked out of my room, I’ve been craving more. More of his kiss. More of his touch. More of everything. He’s taking over my thoughts.
It’s not until the following Wednesday that I get to lay my eyes on him again since that dark night. I’m sitting, staring at my computer screen, trying to look busy, when the door to the office is pulled open.
I look up. I don’t usually bother because no one’s ever looking for me, but somehow, my body knows it’s him.
Instead of the shirt he should be wearing as he meets with customers, he’s clad in a hi-vis jacket and dirty work clothes. Dirt is smeared across both cheeks and his hands are mostly black. Every muscle in my body tenses.
Swallowing, I try to get some moisture back in my mouth and drag my eyes away from him before he notices my attention.
I keep an eye on him over the top of my monitor as he walks in and has a very short and sharp conversation with my dad. I can sense the tension between them from here. I don’t miss the tightness of Ben’s muscles, the pulsing in his neck, or his clenched fists as he stands just inside the door to the office.
After a few short words, he turns to leave, but at the last minute, he looks up. Our gazes lock and something sparks between us. His eyes brighten but he shows no other signs that he feels the same pull between us that I do.
Our connection only lasts for a couple of seconds, but when he pulls his eyes away and walks out of the office, it’s with his shoulders sagging in defeat.
My fingers curl around the base of my chair as I fight my need to follow him, to find out what’s going on and why he looks so sad.
“Lauren,” Dad barks. “Are you going to answer that or just let it annoy the shit out of all of us?” It’s not until Dad’s finished talking that I even realise the phone on my desk is ringing. I take a deep breath in an attempt to compose myself before lifting the handset to my ear.
Just like almost every other time it’s rung this morning, the caller asks for Jenny or Dad. Most days, I don’t feel like I’m needed or really wanted here to do anything with the accounts. Instead, I seem to be becoming Dad’s personal PA.
“I’m sorry, but Jenny is out of the office today. I can put you through to Nick.” Dad glares at me from his desk. He told me earlier to put off any callers, but after watching the way he was with Ben, I’ve no real desire to do as I’m told.
Thankfully, after he’s taken the phone call he didn’t want, Dad leaves the office. The atmosphere immediately lightens and Erica even puts the radio on, which is banned while the boss is around.
The day goes on forever, my thoughts consumed by the look on Ben’s face as he dragged his gaze away from me earlier. Every time I hear the main door to the office squeak, my heart jumps into my throat, but he never reappears. I can only hope he might make it home tonight so at least I can find out if he’s okay.
“We’re going out tonight,” Erica announces after following me into the kitchen to get her lunch from the fridge.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. Wednesday’s the new Friday.”
“I thought every night was a Friday night in London,” I grin.
“Exactly.” She winks at me, throwing her tub of leftovers into the microwave. “You’ve been moping for days. You need a good blow out. I’ll shoot a message out to the guys. They’ll be on board.”
I know it’s pointless arguing, but to be honest, a night out and letting loose does sound like a good idea. I almost ask her not to tell the guys because the last thing I need is Ben ruining another night for me, but I bite the words back, knowing it’ll only invite unwanted questions.
“Yeah, okay.”
“I’m going to have to work a little late, though. How about you go home and grab your stuff, then we’ll get ready together at mine? I’ve already got tequila in the fridge.”
“Sounds good.”
The more I think about it as the afternoon wears on, the more I’m looking forward to it. Erica keeps me informed about who’s coming, and when I don’t hear that Ben’s presence is confirmed, I feel even better about it. The last thing I need is him trying to ruin my evening by telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing.
“Girl! You look hot,” Erica sings when I step into the kitchen in the house she shares with her sister. She runs her eyes up and down my body, nodding in approval. I’m wearing a black leather skirt and a gold sequined cami with an open back. “I’m going to have to pry the men off you tonight.”
“What if I don’t want you to?” I ask with a wink.
“Ooh, are you planning on hooking up?”
I make a non-committal noise because I’m fully aware that I’m not hooking up with some random guy in a club, but Erica doesn’t need to know that. It seems to be what she does every weekend, so I may as well look like I fit in. I also have no intention of mentioning that I’m still a virgin.
“Here, drink this. My sister’s going to drop us off in a minute.”
With the tequila flowing through my system, I manage to put everything with Ben to one side and just enjoy myself. We meet some of the guys, but thankfully both Will and Ben are noticeably absent. I try not to look too relieved about it.
After a round of drinks, we head out onto the dance floor. Erica and I dance with James and Stewart, two of the builders from work. The four of us let loose, not worrying about what we look like or who’s watching us making fools of ourselves. The dancing is mostly innocent, but there’s the occasional bump and grind when the song commands it.
Leaning into Erica, I shout in her ear that I’m heading to the toilet and she waves me off. Weaving my way through the packed dance floor, I eventually make it to the to the other side of the room to where I need to be.
After fighting with the women trying to touch up their make-up in the mirrors, it seems like forever when I eventually make it out again.
I’m about to walk down the corridor to re-join the main room when someone wraps their hand around my wrist. I fight to free myself, simultaneously turning to see who it is. My breath catches and the fight leaves me as I stare into the blue eyes of my stepbrother.
His stare holds mine for a beat before he pulls me towards the stairs. We go down one flight and then he continues moving towards the dance floor. The music’s different on this level—the bass is louder, the tempo sexy and seductive.
As he drags me in front of him, his hands land on my waist and he pulls me back against his body. A loud sigh leaves me when our bodies align and I feel him move against me.
His fingers tickle at my shoulder as he moves my hair, exposing my skin. Dropping his head, his nose runs up the length of my neck before I feel his lips at my ear.
“I couldn’t watch you dancing with someone else any longer,” he growls, pulling us even closer. I gasp when I feel his length against my arse.
He grinds his hips with mine, keeping perfect time with the song booming through the speakers, but I barely hear any of it. My focus is solely on the connection of our bodies.
His lips trail down my neck, his tongue sneaking out to taste my skin, and something inside me explodes. Heat blooms between my legs a
nd the only thing I want is to be in a room alone with him, not in a club full of sweaty strangers.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Lauren. I shouldn’t need you this much.”
Turning in his arms, I look up at him. His pupils are dilated and his lips parted, his chest heaving. His tongue runs across the bottom lip and I’m just about to close the distance between us when he looks up.
His eyes widen before he lets me go and disappears into the crowd. My body aches for him the second he leaves.
“There you are,” Erica shouts, walking up to me and immediately breaking out some moves like the most erotic moment of my life didn’t just happen where we’re standing. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry, I bumped into someone I knew.”
“That’s okay. Just let me know next time you want to disappear, yeah?”
“Sure. I…uh…actually, I think I’m going to head home.”
“What? It’s still early.”
“I know, but I’m wiped. I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Sure. Text me when you get home.”
Waving, I get the hell out of that club as fast as I can. Every single part of me is desperate to hunt through the entire place to find Ben. Just how badly I need him is enough to make me go home. Nothing good can come of the strength of my feelings.
Thanks to my long day and night, I crash the second my head hits my pillow. That doesn’t mean my dreams aren’t full of him and how differently the night could have ended if we weren’t interrupted.
* * *
When I wake the next morning, I’m feeling much fresher than I deserve to be after a night out. I can’t say the same for Erica when she shows up to work almost an hour late. She looks like she’s just fallen straight out the club…or maybe some guy’s bed. The day’s crazy and the phone doesn’t stop ringing, so I don’t get the opportunity to hear about the rest of her night. From the look of the love bite on her neck, I’m pretty sure I don’t want the details, anyway.
I’m becoming used to the silence, and it’s no different when I let myself into the house after work that evening. Jenny’s car is in the driveway, but there’s no sign of her once again.
After making myself a drink, I head up to my room to change into something more comfortable. I decide to have a shower and wash my hair because the one I had this morning was way too quick to properly wash last night off me. I strip out of my work clothes and step under the hot spray.
I stand there for the longest time with my head tipped forward, allowing the powerful jets of water to massage my tense shoulders. I knew moving here and living with Dad wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, but I never imagined it would be quite like this.
I’ve no idea how much time’s passed when I eventually stand in front of the mirror and remove what’s left of today’s make-up. My usually light blue eyes seem to have much more grey in them as I stare at myself. I might be trying to put Ben and this thing between us to the back of my mind, but I’d be kidding myself if I thought I was being successful.
I’m lost in my own head as I walk from the ensuite wrapped in only a towel. I’m not expecting to have company, so a little squeal passes my lips when I find Ben sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for me. His hair’s still damp from his own shower and he’s wearing a dark pair of slim-fit jeans with a white t-shirt that looks like it’s been painted on his skin.
I freeze just inside the room and my stomach knots. His eyes widen and I watch them darken as he runs them leisurely around my almost bare, and still slightly wet, body.
“Well, my day’s sure looking up.”
Pulling the towel around me tighter, I walk over to my dresser.
“What’s up?”
“Plenty,” he says after clearing his throat. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Yeah, I’m good. Why?” I can only assume he’s asking about what happened last night.
“No reason.” He’s lying. I can see it in his eyes. “You hungry?”
“I am.”
“Have dinner with me?”
“Uh…sure. Can you cook?”
“I wasn’t thinking of that kind of dinner.” I swear I see a little colour rise to his cheeks, but I must be mistaken because there’s no way the brooding, cocky man stood in front of me gets embarrassed. Ever.
“You mean, go out?” Like a date? I want to ask, but I manage to keep the question in. I could be interpreting this so incredibly wrong, which would mean asking my stepbrother if he wants to take me out on a date is a very bad idea.
“Yeah. As much as I hate to suggest it, get dressed and we’ll go.” His eyes run the length of me once again and tingles follow their movement around my body. Biting down on my bottom lip, I refrain from suggesting getting takeout and not leaving this room. There’s no way I should be having these thoughts, and he definitely shouldn’t be looking at me like he is right now.
I start to think he’s not going to leave, but after another lap around my body, he gets himself up and walks to the door. “I’ll wait in the car,” he says over his shoulder before pulling it closed behind him.
* * *
“What was wrong with waiting in the house?” I ask when I fall down onto his passenger seat a little over thirty minutes later. I tried to be as fast as I could, but there was no way I was going out with him looking like he does, and me with wet hair and no make-up.
“You’ve probably noticed that it isn’t my favourite place to be,” he says, casting a glance towards the mini-mansion we both call home before looking over at me. “And your dad’s d—Whoa.” His lips curl up in sexy smile and his eyes darken as he takes me in.
I had no idea where we were going, and I wasn’t given a lot of time to make a decision about what to wear. In the end, I slid my favourite white skirt up my legs, teamed it with a black and white striped vest and a pair of wedges. My blonde hair is loosely hanging around my shoulders and my make-up is light. I thought I looked okay when I gave myself a once-over in the mirror before I left the room, but seeing the look on Ben’s face makes me feel like a million dollars.
“You look…” He trails off and I watch the muscles in his neck ripple as he swallows. “Incredible.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, suddenly feeling nervous about our impending evening together. When his eyes come back up to mine, something sparks between us and my skin tingles with awareness.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he says, but it seems to be more to himself than me.
“We’re just going for dinner.”
His dark stare turns my way, and a shiver runs down my spine. “Just dinner,” he repeats. “But what about all the other things I want to do?”
My mouth waters as thoughts of what he could be suggesting run through my head.
“Shit.” His sudden outburst has me flinching before I reach for the seatbelt and strap myself in as Ben slams his foot to the floor and speeds away from the house.
“What the hell was that?” I ask, seeing Dad’s car turn into the driveway after us.
“It’s probably best he doesn’t see us together.”
“What? Why?”
“You’re his little girl, Lauren. He wants to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting from you.”
“You sure about that?”
Chapter Five
Something changed with Ben after he saw my dad. He shut himself down like he’s too scared to show me who he really is. I hate the idea that I could have given him any indication that he can’t be himself with me.
The pub he brought me to is one I’ve not been to before. It looks like an old London boozer from the outside, but inside it’s modern and bright, and the food is out of this world. It’s nowhere near what I pictured when Ben mentioned dinner. I may have decided against suggesting it was a date, but that’s very much what it feels like—aside from his weirdness where our parents are concerned.
“I guess we should get back,” I say regretfully once he’s insisted on payi
ng the bill.
“Do we have to?”
“Why do you hate it so much?”
“You like living there?”
“Uh…” I try to come up with something diplomatic, but my silence must say it all.
“Exactly.”
“Why don’t you move out? You must earn good money from the business. You don’t need to stay.”
“I have my reasons.” Raising my eyebrows, I wait for him to continue. “Not today,” he says, standing from his chair and holding his hand out for me.
Sparks shoot up my arm the second our skin connects, and his eyes flash to mine. He felt it, too.
Together, we walk out of the pub and towards his car. “Do you mind if we just drive for a bit? I’m not ready for this to end yet.”
“Of course.” The sadness in his voice ensures I’ll do whatever he wants. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to know.”
“But—”
“Lauren, please. Don’t.”
“Okay, okay. But I’m here, if you need me.” Reaching my hand out, I hesitate a few inches from him. Sensing what I’m going to do, he threads our fingers together and places our joined hands on his lap.
He blows out a long breath, and when he glances over at me, I see some of his earlier tension has vanished. It’s as if looking into my eyes calms him somehow.
“Thank you,” he whispers before turning back to the road.
“For what?”
“This. Everything. For just being here.”
I lose track of the direction we go in, and it’s not long until I’ve no clue where we are. Ben seems to know, though, and eventually he pulls the car to a stop in a deserted car park.
“Wow,” I breathe, taking in the bright lights of the city in the distance.
Falling for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #1 Page 4
