by Judy Nunn
If he’d attempted to analyse her, Alex probably would have agreed with them but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Maddy was fascinating and he had to know her. He had to know everything about her.
‘Alex Rainford. Hi.’ He was waiting beside the main gates.
‘Hello,’ she said, as she started walking down High Street.
‘Loved your intro,’ Alex said, falling into step beside her.
‘You weren’t one of the ones who clapped though, were you?’
Alex was pleased. He thought Maddy hadn’t noticed him. ‘So?’
‘So, half the class think I’m up myself, I could sense it.’
‘Fuck them.’
Maddy stopped and looked at him.
‘Fuck the lot of them,’ he repeated.
Alex had been wrong. Maddy had noticed him, all right. She’d felt him staring at her so intently that she hadn’t dared to look at him. He’d been sitting there in the corner of her vision ever since she’d stood up to address the class and when he hadn’t clapped she’d felt more than disappointed. She’d felt betrayed in some strange way.
When it had been Alex’s turn to stand up before the class she’d feigned disinterest. She’d doodled in her notepad or stared out the window.
Now finally their eyes locked and she found she had to force herself to break away.
‘You’re right,’ she laughed. ‘Fuck the lot of them.’
They walked down to Anzac Parade and caught the bus together, talking nineteen to the dozen about their first day at NADA, the teachers, the other students and what had made them want to become actors in the first place. Finally, as they got off the bus, Alex turned the conversation to the coincidental fact that Maddy’s flatette and his bedsit were only four blocks apart—so whose place should they go to for coffee and more talk?
There was no innuendo to his suggestion at all but something told Maddy to go slowly. She had a definite feeling she was getting out of her depth. How could anyone be so attractive, so instantly?
‘Why don’t we have a coffee in The Village? There’s a place that does great espresso.’
‘OK.’ Alex grinned. Whatever she wanted was fine by him. So long as he could be with her.
For the first two hours and three cappuccinos they continued to discuss acting, NADA and their fellow students, particularly Julian Oldfellow. They came to the mutual decision that they liked Julian.
Then, over plates of toasted cheese, ham and tomato—temptingly titled ‘toasty tasty cheese melts’ in the menu—they got down to the more intimate details of their lives. Well, Maddy did. She found herself discussing her parents, the convent, Mrs Predan and the Indian restaurant, her flatmates and the shoplifting lessons. To her utter amazement she even heard herself recounting the time she sprang Sal and Jane in the throes of passion.
Alex did a fair amount of talking too but, a further two hours and another cappuccino later when they were informed the coffee shop was closing, Maddy realised that he hadn’t told her anything intimate, nothing about his family. She mentioned it as he started to walk her home but he shrugged and said, ‘Harold’s my family now’.
Maddy recalled that when it had been Alex’s turn to introduce himself during the improvisation class, his manner had been equally indifferent. He’d said his father was a security guard with a hefty drink problem and his mother was a housewife who put up with it. It appeared not to bother him but maybe his disinterest was a cover.
Maddy decided not to pursue it. ‘Goodnight, Alex. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
They were outside Maddy’s block of flats and she felt strangely gauche as she wondered whether or not she should ask him up. She could hardly offer him coffee when they’d had four cappuccinos each. It was nearly ten o’clock at night, the girls would probably be home and …
‘Sure, see you tomorrow.’ Alex could sense her indecision and made it easy for her. He smiled disarmingly, squeezed her hand and gave her a peck on the cheek.
When Alex got home he found a telephone message had been slipped under his door: Harold phoned to say where are you? Damn, he’d completely forgotten that he’d agreed to have dinner with Harold. ‘I want a blow-by-blow account of your first day, dear boy,’ Harold had insisted. ‘Down to the merest detail, mind.’
Poor old Harold, he’d be feeling wounded, Alex thought, as he ferretted about for some change. The one and only telephone was in the hall. It was frequently out of order and the relaying of messages was entirely dependent upon which of the tenants chose to take the call.
‘I met this stunning girl, Harold. We’ve been sitting in a coffee lounge for hours.’ It didn’t occur to Alex to lie and Harold liked him for it.
‘Of course you did, my dear Alexei, of course you did. And when am I going to meet her?’
‘Hey, that’d be great!’ Alex was genuinely delighted at the prospect. ‘Can I ask her over on the weekend? She’d love your place: her Dad’s filthy rich and she’s got real style.’
Harold’s roar of laughter was so deafening that Alex winced and held the receiver away from his ear.
‘Make it Saturday lunch and I’ll get one of those huge and magnificent lobster quiches from the corner patisserie,’ Harold said when he’d recovered.
He didn’t feel remotely piqued as he hung up the receiver. Of course the boy had forgotten all about him—he’d been confronted with a beautiful young woman and that’s exactly the way it should be.
The wonderful thing was that Alex wanted to include Harold. He wanted Harold to meet his girl and Harold was overjoyed. He glowed with a parent’s love as he drained the bottle of Bollinger he’d bought especially for Alex.
‘Hey, Julian, come and join us,’ Alex called as he saw the gangling figure appear in the doorway. Julian smiled, waved back and started weaving his way towards them through the noisy, crowded cafe.
Maddy shifted her chair closer to Alex’s, making way for a third chair. She didn’t mind Julian joining them—she didn’t mind anyone joining them. The peremptory way Alex always took her hand as soon as lunch break was called assured her that she need fear no competition. The thought thrilled her. Maddy was falling in love.
‘My God, what an honour.’ Julian swept back his lank forelock as he sat. ‘An invitation to join the Scott and Zelda of NADA 1970,’ he continued in answer to Alex’s raised eyebrow. ‘Pretty elitist stuff.’
He was sending them up, but not viciously. Although it was only the end of the first week, Julian was not alone in recognising Alex’s and Maddy’s attraction—not only to each other but for the rest of the students.
Yes, they’re definitely going to be the leaders of the class of 1970, Julian thought. Which wasn’t why he was about to accept their friendship. Julian was happy to go his own way. But he liked Maddy and he found Alex fatally attractive.
‘Don’t tell anyone,’ Julian whispered conspiratorially, ‘but I’m faking this acting shit.’
It was an hour later and they knew they were going to be late back for the voice class but as it was one of Jonathan Thomas’s they didn’t worry unduly. Maddy thought him a perve and the boys thought him a wimp.
‘What do you mean, “faking”?’ Maddy asked, confused.
‘I’m pretending, my darling. I’m pretending to train as an actor.’ Julian’s cheeky smile to Maddy assured her that he was sending himself up, not her. ‘I have no intention of becoming one. It’s a ridiculous career.’
‘Bullshit. Why are you taking the course then?’ Alex’s tone was slightly belligerent.
‘Don’t get bolshie, Alex.’ Julian dropped the banter. ‘Look at me! I’m twenty-two years old, juvenile lead age, and look at me. Would you cast me opposite Maddy?’ Julian put a bony arm around Maddy and pressed his cheek next to hers. They looked utterly incongruous.
‘So? You’re a character actor. So what?’
‘And how long will it be before I come into my own or even earn a decent living?’ Julian gave Maddy’s arm a squeeze before releasing it. �
�This one is talented.’ Then he pointed at Alex. ‘You are charismatic. You both have every chance of making it.’
‘OK, OK. So why the bloody hell are you doing the course then?’
‘Know any other director who’s done the NADA first year acting course?’ He smiled confidently at them. ‘Too many directors in this country don’t know enough about acting, in my opinion. I’m going to do my acting groundwork and then change courses.’
‘Will they let you?’ Maddy asked. ‘It hasn’t been done before, has it?’
‘Not to the best of my knowledge, which is another reason I want to do it.’ He winked at her. ‘I like being the first. And yes, I think they will let me. Our Jon Thomas advised me to take the directors’ course, actually.’
‘Why? Was your audition that bad?’ Alex laughed.
Julian wasn’t offended. ‘No, but I have an Arts degree and they like their fledgling directors to have some academic background.’ He rose from his chair. ‘And when we’ve left NADA we’ll form our own company. We have everything it takes,’ he said, then looked at Maddy. ‘Talent’, then turned to Alex, ‘Charisma’, then put a hand on his own chest. ‘Genius.’
‘Bit of money wouldn’t go astray,’ Alex muttered as they prepared to leave.
‘Maddy can bring her Dad in on the deal.’ Julian was out the door before Maddy could make her retort.
Harold and Maddy took to each other immediately as Alex knew they would. Lunch was a resounding success.
Maddy got to the Double Bay apartment twenty minutes before Alex who came straight from his Saturday morning supermarket stint. As he opened the door, he heard her shriek of laughter. Harold was onto his second anecdote. Like Alex, Maddy loved the man’s theatricality.
Harold in turn was bewitched by Maddy’s childlike beauty. So young, he thought, she didn’t look any more than fifteen. But he very quickly recognised the strength of will that lay beneath the fragile appearance. My God, he thought, if she’s got talent as well there’ll be no stopping her.
Lunch with Harold became a regular weekend event. When it was on a Sunday neither Maddy nor Alex had to work so the two of them would catch a bus back to Darlinghurst and sit for a further couple of hours in his bedsit. They’d talk over endless cups of coffee or glasses of flagon ‘plonk’ which tasted terrible after Harold’s cellar wines but neither of them really noticed.
When it finally came time for Alex to walk her home, they would kiss, deeply and fondly, and occasionally Alex’s hand would stray to her breast. Each time Maddy froze. This is it she’d tell herself, now it’s going to happen. And each time Alex would break the embrace. ‘Home time,’ he’d say. ‘Classes tomorrow.’ Maddy was confused. She was aching for him—didn’t he know that?
Four tantalising Sundays in a row were too much for Maddy. On the fifth one she decided to take the initiative.
She deliberately wore a shirt that unbuttoned easily down the front, and didn’t wear a bra. As soon as they started kissing, Alex found his hand firmly guided to a small, perfectly formed breast and rock-hard nipple.
Maddy expected some change in pace at this point. She expected him to pause and ask if she was sure, did she really mean it, or words to that effect. He knew she was a virgin, after all. But Alex didn’t hesitate for one second. His hand gently cupped her breast, his forefinger playing subtly over her nipple, sending tiny tremors through her body as his tongue started exploring her mouth with greater urgency.
There was an ache between Maddy’s legs she’d never felt before. She’d never known she was capable of such feelings and, as he unzipped her skirt and eased it down over her hips, she moaned and thrust her pelvis forward. Alex had adroitly managed to pull off his shorts and her skirt without breaking the moment or the kiss, and as Maddy felt his erection hard against her groin, it was all she could do to stop screaming. She ripped at his underpants and then at her own and it was Alex who finally drew breath.
He took her face in both hands and slowly eased their mouths apart. Her eyes were shut, her head was tilted back and she was moaning gently. ‘Shall we take our shoes off?’ he whispered.
Maddy and Alex were in love. Maddy in a way she’d never dreamed possible: desperately, passionately, obsessively. Her sexual awakening had been unlike anything she’d ever imagined. Liberated magazines for intelligent women had informed her that most females lost their virginity by rape or mistake and her friends had told her that the first time was painful and forgettable. Not for Maddy.
Despite his youth, Alex was an incredible lover. And despite her inexperience, Maddy recognised it. She recognised it with every fibre of her being that first night as she clung to him tightly, trying to draw him deeper and deeper inside her. But he held back, eluding her, teasing, keeping her at the very brink, until Maddy’s final moment was so overwhelming that she cried out in ecstasy.
It wasn’t difficult for Alex. Sex had never been difficult for Alex. The effect his control had on women was such a fascination and a pleasure to him that he was never tempted to let go. Ejaculation, although pleasurable, was simply a physical release. His true sexual excitement was the response he drew from the woman as she gave herself to him. And Maddy’s response was the most fascinating and fulfilling he’d ever experienced.
They had spent that first night curled up in Alex’s narrow bed and Maddy couldn’t resist asking him why he’d waited for her to make the first move.
‘I wasn’t sure you wanted to,’ he answered. ‘You always froze up whenever I touched you. Besides,’ he kissed her lightly, ‘The sex wasn’t all that important.’
‘How can you say that?’ Maddy pulled away and looked at him, astonished. It was the most important thing that had ever happened to her.
‘I wanted more than the sex and I didn’t mind waiting.’ It was a simple statement. ‘I wanted all of you, Maddy.’
That was when Maddy fell hopelessly in love.
Six months later they moved into the tiny studio flat Harold had helped them find and were blissfully happy.
It was only two blocks away from Harold’s apartment, but without his water views. A large bed-sitting room affair with doors leading to a tiny kitchen one end and a bathroom the other, it was nevertheless more expensive than either of them could afford and Alex had finally persuaded Maddy to accept some financial assistance from her father.
He wasn’t chasing any gain for himself. He quite honestly could not understand how Maddy’s pride could allow her to forgo the comforts that her father was only too keen to provide.
‘But he’s rich, for God’s sake, and he wants to help you.’
‘I know, I know.’
‘Christ, he deliberately stopped your chances of getting a scholarship so that he could support you—why the hell won’t you let him?’ It didn’t make sense to Alex.
It was true that when Maddy had been accepted to NADA Robert had paid a visit to the Academy and assured Jonathan Thomas that all fees and living expenses would be met by him.
‘Scholarships are for the underprivileged students, surely, Mr Thomas,’ Robert had said in reply to Jonathan’s assurances that Maddy’s talent had put her on the selection list for partial assistance.
Certainly Robert McLaughlan was appalled at the thought of his daughter receiving government funding—good grief, she might as well go on the dole. But it was more than that. He was sure that when Maddy found she needed his money, she’d come home, and Robert desperately wanted her back. For some unknown reason, things were not going well with Helena; Robert’s comfortable existence seemed to be slowly disintegrating around him.
Unfortunately his interference had pushed Maddy in the opposite direction altogether. She wrote him a scathing letter, his cheques she returned shredded, and whenever he phoned she hung up on him. Then she left the Indian restaurant and found herself a full-time waitressing job, six till midnight, in a sleazy Hungarian restaurant in Taylor Square. Robert was a very unhappy man.
‘So why don’t you accept money from
Harold?’ Maddy had countered when Alex insisted she accept her father’s help. ‘You say he’s your family and he’s got plenty of money.’
‘That’s totally different, Maddy, and you know it.’
‘It bloody well is not!’
‘It bloody well is too!’
Then they laughed, made love and resumed the argument the following day.
Finally Alex agreed to let Harold provide them with some furniture if Maddy accepted a modest weekly allowance from Robert. ‘Then you can leave that shonky restaurant,’ he said. ‘It’s the pits.’
So it was settled. Except that Maddy insisted on working Fridays and Saturdays at the shonky restaurant. The tips were fantastic, she said, but Alex knew it was really a statement. She wasn’t giving in on all sides.
And Maddy laid down one further condition to Alex. Robert was not to know that they were living together.
‘I told you! Daddy’s a devout Catholic and he’d be livid, and I just don’t want the hassle.’
Alex gave in and left the flat the day Robert came around for an inspection.
‘But it’s only one room! Couldn’t you find somewhere a bit bigger?’
‘It’s a studio flat, Dad, and I like it.’ Thank goodness her mother hadn’t come, Maddy thought. They would have had to move all Alex’s stuff. Helena would have been into every drawer and cupboard. Maddy knew her father would never intrude upon another’s privacy. If he only knew the top drawer of the dresser he was leaning on was stuffed with Alex’s socks and underpants.
‘I do hope you’ll pop home and see us from time to time, dear,’ Robert said. ‘Your mother’s been a bit strange lately, a bit irritable, you know, jumpy. Probably just some woman’s thing but I’m sure seeing you would help.’
‘I will, Dad, I promise.’ And she meant it. Not only because it would help prevent any unexpected calls to the flat, but she felt sorry for her father. Poor Daddy, she thought. He looks so tired. ‘I’m sorry for being such a …’ she just stopped herself from saying ‘shit’. The NADA vernacular had certainly made its stamp on her. ‘… Such a pain.’ And she gave him a hug.
