by Tina Smith
If he did that, he would have sealed his own death warrant. I swallowed thinking of it. While I believed Sky was alive, taken from me, I resisted harming those dearest to him, but it was becoming harder. I had to hide my instability. The situation in my room with him before me was almost too much to resist. It wasn’t a question of, if I could do it. It was simply a matter of when. Reid knew I was unstable, I just hoped he didn’t realize how much and that he wouldn’t convince Cresida of it. In case they somehow tightened the invisible binds I felt choking me like in the dreams I’d had many months ago.
It seemed now, though, my mouth could say one thing while my eyes said another. The crescents weren’t obvious, especially from a distance but if you knew they were there they stood out. It seemed he was now fully a wolf, but also that I was purely a hunter.
It went against the grain now to socialize with them. It was like training a dog to kill rabbits. To teach the craft and then dangle a live rabbit on a string, not allowing it to bite. I wanted Reid dead and the reasons were mounting to make him my first kill. He hadn’t deemed himself useful to me; quite the opposite. How long did Cres think she could keep me here, and tame? I hated their many faces; I saw them as liars, manipulators and worst of all, murderers. Yet I loved one of their kind and I knew it was their plan to subdue me, and yet it worked. I was trapped, no better than a cursed tiger in a cage. They did what they had to, to contain me. I was edging closer to breaking the dead bolt and massacring the keepers in the night.
I asserted myself more at school and in our clique. Cres turned up on Monday in a grey tartan trilby, new jeans and a loose leopard print T-shirt that tied at the waist and hung from one shoulder, as per the latest trends in Dolly magazine. She was chewing a beef jerky strip that dangled from her mouth like a limp cigar. I walked up to her and saw the soft pink brand name runners under the cuff of her brand name boot cut jeans and the blue strap on her shoulder peeking from under the t-shirt, which proved she was wearing a Bra. Pretending I didn’t notice the strange new pastel coloured clothes, which smelt of chemicals, I tapped the jeep.
“Did you give it a polish?” I glanced about casually, taking in the view of glaring students in the lot. We weren’t going to get through today’s classes without an abnormal amount of attention. Jackson smirked at her in the hall as though he knew something about her new attire and Giny commented in homeroom how cute her jeans were. I knew Cres liked that. Giny was aiming to please and we chatted as though there had never been a void between us after Sam left. After our sleepover things were as they had been like old times at the cabin. Giny indeed did not hold a grudge, she was back in and for that she would forgive. I relied on the fact that she would do anything to remain that way, and if I needed, even help me run.
11. First Ditch
The expansive black sky, littered with a million stars glistened over us.
“Cres, honestly do I have to do it again?” We stood facing each other on a gravel road that ran through the state forest. I glared into her crescent-less eyes, my posture tense.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you’re not going to do it for me,” I muttered sarcastically.
Her face twitched. “What?” she said sharply.
“Like everything else.” It was true she had been smothering me for many months now and the time when I had wanted her attention had long passed. My inherent tendency to be independent had risen to the fore. I was irritated by her every breath tonight. The peppermint smell of it in the crisp night air made the hairs rise on my neck. I clenched my teeth.
Truth was I had had enough for the night. I was overtired and my eyes hurt from straining in the dark almost every night for the past several months or more. I found myself wishing there were bullets in the gun as she made me get up and repeat the movement again.
“You can’t keep doing it you know,” I blurted as we circled each other.
“What’s that?”
“Just trying to tire me out all the time,” I said readying for her to come at me, feeling contemptuous.
She didn’t reply. Instead she concentrated on lunging at me, and then she morphed unexpectedly and jumped over me in one swift leap. I grabbed her leg as I twisted in her direction. She landed off kilter without the support of her hind paw as my body was thrown backward to the ground. I pulled a gun with the other hand but as I did, she struggled free, badly scratching my palm with her claws. I got up and bolted in her direction as she disappeared into the dark trees and then I had an idea. While she ran from me I would run from her. I was worn out but I could certainly give it a go. I knew she had been tiring me relentlessly because she knew I was going to run and escape the valley though she thought I thirsted for Sam. Cres’s gift was based, as far as I could peg it, on the theory that nothing is set in stone and that we create our own destiny. So here I was about to create mine.
I turned when I hit the first cover of bushes and headed for town, through the scrub. Hopefully, it would take her a while to figure out that I had done a runner. The thought occurred to me that I might actually make it and I was a little disappointed I’d miss the party, which was in a few weeks or maybe it would be cancelled. But I shook the momentary foolish thought as I ran on toward town, as the cool air burned my throat. Breathing the night, I was free, hearing nothing but the rustle of the leaves, the swoosh of my shins kicking through the long damp grass. As the blood dripping through my fingers and over knuckles, chilled. I found my way into the heart of Shade breathing heavily and I jogged through the back alley of the shops that faced the main street. I crawled through a readymade hole in the cyclone mesh, jumping down into the car park of the main shopping area. I was relieved to see a lone new model Toyota.
I veered off into the shadows of the closed Penny Market. On the outside wall in the corner of the automatic glass doors, was a surveillance camera. I came at it with my back to the brick wall and in its blind spot. I ripped a strip from my jumper and shrouded the lens in the piece of torn cloth. I then grabbed the camera from its perch above and pulled it awkwardly from the wall with my body weight, twisting it repeatedly as I did to sever the wires. Then I used it to crack the back passenger window of the Toyota with a few swift smacks to shatter the reinforced glass. Cres did not materialize from the shadows. Hopefully she still thought I was tracking her through the forest. I kicked the glass in with my foot and the whole panel fell into the back seat. No alarm sounded. There were no visible locks, so I climbed in through the window and into the front seat. I kicked the panel under the steering wheel column. Then I hastily ripped the wires out so they were exposed. There was enough light from the street lamps to illuminate my operation, and my eyes were well adjusted to darkness.
I reached back quickly for a shard of broken glass from the back seat, breaking it from the shattered panel. I pulled my sleeve over my damaged hand. It wasn’t very sharp but with applied force I used the jagged pebble of glass to saw through, holding the wires so tight that they cut into my fingers.
My hands trembled in panic. I didn’t waste time to see if they had cut through my skin as I leant down and stripped the wires with my teeth suffering an electric shock to my tongue. I twisted the fine copper together and hoped I had picked the right ones. I felt the engine as it fired and the wire sparked. I pumped the accelerator. I heard it whir into existence, much to my disbelief. I looked about, searching the lot, checking I had no direct onlookers. Scanning the dark asphalt street, I saw no one in the streetlight glow.
I pumped the clutch and grabbed the wheel tightly. I hit the accelerator and the car lurched forward. I eased my foot off suddenly and the car slowed. I pressed it again lighter and swung the wheel around trying not to rev the car loudly. The last thing I needed were witnesses. I drove it straight for the entrance sign, aiming to flee out of town. I winced as the tyres screeched a little as I turned out sharply onto the main road. I realized the car felt heavy, and then noticed a red light in the dash, which said ‘brake’ and I felt for the park leve
r. I released it and the car responded as I sped down the main street, passing the town park on one side and the shop fronts on the other.
The light was on above the shoe store and as I drove past I could see Monica and Tealy on the top floor clearly illuminated by the yellow light, gazing at me, as if from another reality. Great, Tealy was the cop’s daughter. I hoped as the car was dark they hadn’t seen me in it. I flicked on the headlights.
Nervously checking the mirrors, I couldn’t see anyone after me, wolf or otherwise as I rapidly escaped the glow of street lamps. I passed the town sign, peering at it in my rear vision mirror pensively. There was an almighty clunk of metal, which startled me as the roof buckled under its weight. My heart shuddered and ahead I saw from the reaching yellow of the high beams a figure on the as vault, illuminated in the distance. Cres was standing in the middle of the road; I took my foot off the accelerator. In time with the car my heart slowed, it was over. Reid scared the daylights out of me yet again, as his head appeared upside down in the front passenger window and he tapped the glass. I looked down to find the correct button to wind down the electric window, as the car slowed to a stop, expecting him to accost me.
“Naughty, Naughty, Lila,” he scolded with a glint in his eye. I wished the gun was loaded. I would have pelted him with bullets through the crumpled roof. He hid a crooked smile as his eyes glistened with the thrill of it. This little escape attempt of mine was child’s-play for him, a fun deviation from the monotony of guard duty. I stopped the car metres from Cres. I was more concerned with her reaction to my attempted escape and I braced myself. Reid jumped into the car with me and eyed the back seat. He saw the amputated camera, smudges of blood and smashed glass scattered on the upholstery. He shook his head and looked at me from the corner of his eye and I saw a smirk on his lips. Cres strode briskly up to the passenger window. My back straightened.
“Drive out to the Rope,” she ordered and looked down the road, concerned. “Quick,” she urged with a stony face, dashing back to the jeep.
Luckily the roads were dead this late on weeknights because of the curfew. Reid had impacted the roof so heavily you could tell from the inside and I had smashed the window and hot-wired the car, so we weren’t inconspicuous. We took it off-road down a beaten path to the river, a location not far from the rope swing and dumped it. I got out as Cres pulled up. Reid used his T-shirt and wiped it for prints. Cres jumped out glaring at me. She grabbed the driver’s side door and peered in. Reid joined her, inspecting what I’d done. My blood was on the steering wheel, Cres noted with a cold stare. She frowned disapprovingly, but restrained herself.
“Good job on the hot wire.” Reid was impressed as he inspected the evidence. “Where’d you learn to do that? Online?”
I pouted and shrugged, unwilling to talk about my feeble attempt as I leant against the bonnet but I wasn’t sorry and I wasn’t scared of her. Cres slid out and eyed me.
“Get in,” she ordered pointing at the Jeep, with a look of disgust.
I obediently marched over and threw myself petulantly into the passenger seat of Reid’s jeep. Cres glanced at Reid with reserved concern.
“Burn it,” she said casting her eyes down, disappointed. I refused to be ashamed. Her ridicule and disapproval would have little effect on me. I defied her still, with my thoughts.
She slammed her door deliberately and as we drove off I looked back at Reid who was now leaning against the shiny tan Toyota with the massive concave indent in the roof, as though a boulder had fallen on it. As we drove out of view I watched his reflection in the side mirror. He smirked and gave a wave in the distance - meant for me, I guessed. I’m glad I could entertain you, I thought sarcastically. I eyed Cres hesitantly, from side on. She was far less impressed.
She pulled up to the curb outside my house abruptly. I looked at her, expecting more of a scolding. She glanced at me when I didn’t get out, unusually stern.
“Training’s over for tonight,” she said to the windshield.
I jumped out without saying goodbye and climbed in my bedroom window. Dreams didn’t exist for me anymore, vivid or otherwise. My punishment would now come in the form of boot camp, and we hardly slept nights already as she trained me. But it was in me to defy her, she should have known this. She meant to make me miss him less perhaps, and take my mind off Sam with all the training, but something was missing. Sky had to be alive or some big part of the picture had been kept from me. Why such heavy guard? They couldn’t afford to lose me but I wasn’t sure exactly why. Cres had her reasons but why Reid and Jackson? I wasn’t going to wait much longer to find out. Come hell or high water the night of the party would be my escape. I wasn’t sure how far I would go to be free and what I would do when I was. I assumed they would catch me, sooner or later, but I had to remain optimistic. Escape or die trying.
I was a pawn. I knew I couldn’t escape the supernatural world. I had been told on many occasions that I was strong willed. Surely they knew better than to attempt brain washing or trickery. I felt maybe I was being manipulated - something was not right. I couldn’t be like Giny, quiet and placid. They knew it wasn’t in me to be that way. They were naïve in thinking I would stay here under Cresida’s thumb.
As I readied for bed Cres appeared behind me in my bedroom. I ignored her presence. She came near to me with her soft stumped fingers and examined the minor damage on my right my hand, from her claws.
“You’ll have to wear gloves tomorrow,” she muttered leaning over to a shelf in the cupboard, flipping through the first-aid box.
“Here, it might get infected.” She handed me a tube of cream.
“What, don’t you want to slather it on for me,” I argued spitefully.
She laughed a little under her breath and leant on the lid of the first aid box wearily, which had become permanently positioned in my room under a pile of clothes in the wardrobe, where hopefully my mother wouldn’t find it.
“I need to be that way,” she snapped.
I was pushing it tonight. I knew she would punish me. For the next week she was present but we didn’t chat the way we normally did. Disgruntled, I think she took the time to devise my punishment.
The next day at school the stolen car was the talk of lunch hour. I saw Giny look at me when we heard about it, her brown eyes wide. I tried not to give anything away, but my lack of reaction was all she needed. Tealy was surrounded by students in the cafeteria as she gossiped about how she and Mon had actually seen it being stolen and it sounded like she had been her father’s star witness. I was concerned about her for a millisecond, but when she ignored my glance snidely and boasted loudly about the need for more cameras in the main street, which sounded like something she could have heard at a council meeting, I walked on unconcerned. She was more interested in the notoriety the incident gave her, than in actually discovering the culprit. I took a bite from my chicken burger, held with gloved fingers.
Gin changed the subject at the table back to the party before Cres joined us, and we ignored the excitement of the crime in our midst. Cres acted the same always; she was a passive, phlegmatic character at school, the casual, happy one of the quiet bunch amongst those who sat wordlessly at the table, as though trying to enjoy our senior year.
I didn’t know yet where the huntress began and I ended.
12. The End Justifies the Means
It was about this time that Cres surprised me with a task. Mum was busy with her latest hobby. As a result the grey cement garage floor was now coated with orange clay dust and overrun with strange equipment and we now had to park in the driveway.
Pottery kept her busy at night and on the weekends - if she didn’t have a shift at work. My mother doesn’t do thing by halves. Soon her interest grew into her new craze and it had reached its peak before she would move onto something else. I feigned complete disinterest, and she mentioned I had my father’s side of the family in me. Apparently they were not very creative.
Her frenzied concentration allowed u
s unabated freedom while she toiled.
I wasn’t sure if Cres had waited for this to occur or simply seized the opportunity. She orchestrated a sleepover at Giny’s on the same weekend mum had planned to attend an advanced course in pottery and firing that would completely preoccupy her for the best part of two whole days.
I knew better as soon as Cres said it. She wasn’t exactly best buds with Gin.
The second Soph reversed out of the driveway, Cres tossed me a pack of bullets from her pocket. They rattled in the tattered cardboard box as I caught them. She had a hard look in her eyes. It was a clue. I never used bullets. She took off her black grandpa cardigan. She was wearing a thin sleeveless beige top that exposed her disfigured arms.
“Let’s have some fun.” She pulled the Colt 45 Magnum from her bag on the kitchen bench. Her demeanour was quietly menacing. She moved with purpose. I watched as she pulled the extra bullets from her pocket. She loaded the ‘mag’ with her stubbed fingers and slipped it into the gun. She had one of those faces that never gave anything away.
I was intently curious to know what she was up to, but I didn’t ask. I feared the worst. She strode purposefully into our kitchen and started impatiently stuffing random food in a plastic bag. I frowned.
“Cres?”
“Grab a sleeping bag,” she answered in a crisp tone.
“Why?”
“We’re going camping,” she said dryly enough for me to know she was dead serious.
Camping? We threw the stuff into the tray of the jeep and Cres sped off in the direction of the hills. I still had no idea exactly what we were up to. She drove fast out of town. Then we turned off the tarmac towards the mountains onto a dirt road edged with mud that wound up into the State Forest. If this was my impending punishment for running, something was telling me I would have rather been scolded. We followed the bumpy road until it became an impassable fire trail – much further than we had ever gone before. She pulled over, cranked the handbrake and nodded to get out. She didn’t lock the car; she even left the windows open. She threw me an apple as she put on a light khaki green jacket with many pockets. I followed suit putting on my woollen cardigan. I watched her take a long swig of water from a large clear plastic bottle and wipe her chin. She offered it to me with a gesture. I nodded and she secured the lid and tossed it to me.
