by Hart, Romi
“Zander and his wife Maya. Now Maya is an odd person, let me warn you. A lot of people don’t seem to like her, but she’s what I call a free spirit.”
“Well I’m sure I’ll like her. If you’re friends with them they’re bound to be good people.”
“Right.”
“Although you were friends with Mickey.”
“And you! See, I’m a friend to everybody, the good people and the not so good people.”
“Good point. I really got to remind myself not to be a judgmental asshole all the time.”
“Well it’s part of your job, right?”
“No,” I laugh “My job is to just report the facts. I don’t know where I get all this mean shit from. From him, I think. The Ex. Still trying to exorcise it from my mind.”
“I know what you mean. Except with me, it’s usually the villains that come up with all this hateful shit. And I got to think to myself and say, “That’s a great line for a book. NOT for civilized conversation with a friend.”
I laugh long and hard. It feels good to laugh again. Makes me think about the early days of dating Mickey. Before he grew tired of me.
Just as I begin to snack on our appetizers, I watch in disbelief as “Zander” enters the room. The guy dresses…like a billionaire, I suppose. He’s wearing a white suit and has cameras following him. His date is also behaving oddly, like she’s high on ecstasy or something.
“Hey!” I say, wide-eyed and staring as Simeon gets up and welcomes Zander into his arms for a bro-hug. Zander shoo away the cameras, letting them know he’s ready for some quiet time.
“Hey, hey, my brother,” Zander says, looking me up and down. “NICE.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“I mean uh, nice table,” Zander says.
“Uh huh?” I reply, already not liking this guy.
“Ohh let’s order everything,” Maya says. Start with drinks!”
“Yes, definitely. Not that we’re alcoholics or anything. Say when is AA tonight, Simeon?”
“I totally forgot about the meeting,” Simeon jokes. “Is this the one where I’m supposed to pretend to be sober?”
I have a hard time laughing. I get that they’re just dudes and love cutting up. But something about Zander rubs me the wrong way.
“I’m Denise if anyone cares.”
“Of course we care, honey,” Simeon says. “How rude of me. Zander, Maya this is my uh…friend, Denise Cornet.”
“Nice to meet you, ‘uhhh friend.’ I’m Simeon’s long-time troublemaking brother from another mother. We’ve been friends how long?”
“A long time actually, met in college but over the years we stayed in touch. Of course, Zander stopped talking to me when he got rich and I was still unpublished. But then he came crawling back to me when he found out I was worth more than him.”
“I know,” he says mock sadly. “I’m so shallow but morally destitute. I only marry for sex obviously. I mean obviously. Maya is the sexiest woman on earth!”
I watch in confusion and Zander and Maya kiss, drooling all over each other in the middle of a public restaurant.
“Come on dude, save it for the hotel tonight,” Simeon says. “I’ve got company.”
“Ohh you mean you haven’t DATED yet, I’m sorry,” Zander said. “Very sorry. She’s like an actual friend.”
I fold my arms and glare.
“See usually when Simeon tells me he has a new friend it’s like, ‘I’ve finally found someone as kinky as I am! This girl’s insatiable’!”
Zander and Maya crack up laughing. Simeon laughs meekly, a little unnerved.
“Insatiable, huh?”
“Well…”
“I mean we’re all friends we can talk here, right? Simeon has one of the darkest and filthiest minds I’ve ever seen. If and when you two progress into a physical relationship, you’re in for a roller coaster ride.”
“Hmmm,” I say, looking at Simeon who’s actually blushing at the topic of conversation.
“Hope I didn’t embarrass you, sport. But well…I’ve always said that NO woman actually buys the nice guy act. If women only knew how vulgar and sex-crazed and perverted a man’s mind really was they would never stop slapping us. We’re dogs, men are dogs.”
“Well…I suppose,” Simeon laughs meekly.
“I know. I know first-hand,” Maya says, very proud to be a slut apparently. “But I always say a woman can be JUST as naughty as a man. We get shamed for it more often, but believe me, women are just as kinky. Probably worse.”
“And there is no girl as naughty as you, my love,” Zander says, kissing his doll.
“No, there isn’t!” Maya says. “That’s why Zander is insatiable for me. Because I’m such a bad girl. That’s my theory men like bad girls.”
“The femme fatale,” Zander laughs. “A woman who’s hard to resist. She’s dangerous. She’s uninhibited. She hate-fucks the man who dares to chase her.”
“Mmmmm-hmm,” Maya says. “That’s the best part. When the guy doesn’t even know if he’s being pushed too far. He’s terrified but he’s totally slaving for her. He’ll do ANYTHING to please her.”
Maya stares at Zander, eyefucking him without the slightest bit of shame.
“And I made sure you got what you deserve, baby girl. It’s a lot of fun to embrace your darkest fantasies, that’s what Simeon taught me. Maya loves to push my buttons. Just to see how far I’ll go to please her. And I fuck her like the bull that I am.”
I send them back a big closed-lip smile.
“Dirty raunchy billionaire sex, am I right, bro?” Zander says with a shoulder slap.
Simeon loses his smile and stares back at me, probably feeling my discomfort.
“Well…” he says, for once being a writer who doesn’t have a million things to say.
“Oh it’s okay, I’m all about women’s lib. I had a threesome once and it was so hot,” Maya says.
“All right,” Simeon says, blushing again and raising his voice. “I think we’ve horrified my date enough. Can I reiterate to you this is like, our second date, and we really haven’t talked about sex at all.”
“Hmmm,” Zander says with a furled brow. “That’s so unlike you. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were going soft on me. Is the great Kink Master really dead? Are you going to church and having babies and running for office now.”
“Yeah,” Simeon says with a halfhearted smile. “I guess I am.”
“It’s okay, boys,” I finally speak up, feeling bad for Simeon who’s dreadfully embarrassed. “I’m not offended. I’m just…a vanilla. Sorry.”
“Oh you poor dear,” Maya says. “Shame on you, Simeon! You’re doing it wrong.”
“Everyone’s a vanilla until they see Simeon’s sex dungeon.”
“WHAT?”
“Sorry, I’m blurting out too many secrets, aren’t I?”
“YES you are!” Simeon finally barks, staring down his friend. “Obviously, I’m on a date. I hoped to bring Denise here and show her a good time. You know, a really good time, and to hopefully show her that I had NORMAL friends and wasn’t a creepy, deviant player. So thank you for all that. Now she thinks I’m Marquis de Sade!”
“Just not as good as a writer!” Zander says right before Simeon jumps out of his chair ready to punch somebody.
“Guys, settle down,” I say tiredly. “I really don’t care. Like at all. It’s fine. I’m sorry I don’t have more wild tales to contribute. But live and let live, you know?”
Oh God…I did nothing and I stepped in dogshit anyway. Now Simeon and his friends think I’m a total prude. My worst instincts were right. There’s no impressing billionaire guys. They’ve seen it all, they’ve had it all. I’m way out of Simeon’s league.
I shut the door behind me and watch blankly, blinking, as Chrissy excitedly comes to interrogate me about the date.
“Sooo how was it?”
“Well it wasn’t boring.”
“Ohhh…that sounds worrisome.”
“Well it was very charming at first. He pinky pledged me promising we’ll be friends forever.”
“How elitist! But good. Friends with billionaire benefits, not the worst thing in the world.”
“And then he introduced me to his friend Zander.”
“Zander? Like…Zander that crazy billionaire guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Ohhh…”
“Why do you say it like that?” I say, worrying even more so.
“Like he’s friends with ZANDER? The guy, the orgy guy, the guy who had all those slutty playboy parties?”
“Well-?”
“The one all the papers call a ‘sex fiend that makes Hugh Hefner look like Billy Graham’?”
I sigh and stare at Chrissy, slowly nodding. “So I guess I don’t have to explain how the night went. You pretty much guessed it all.”
“Well I mean what else happened? What did he say?”
“He didn’t say anything. Zander and his girlfriend or wife or whatever she was did most of the talking. And Simeon just look embarrassed.”
“Hmm. Embarrassed about what? That his friends exposed him or that he was such a perv?”
“I don’t know…” Denise said. “The truth is…I just don’t care. I told them I’m not very wild, you know? I don’t do stuff like that. So maybe Simeon just realized it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Oh come on. You know it’s the guy’s responsibility to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Show a woman the ropes?” she said with a mischievous smile.
“Oh I don’t think so,” I said dismissively. “I just mean I’m not very dangerous. And I guess that’s what Simeon wants in a woman. I’m vanilla. I’m white bread.”
“I don’t believe that! You mean in all those years Mickey and you were together he wasn’t a freak in the sack?”
“No,” I say calmly. “He was an angel. An amazing lover. So devoted to making me…you know, orgasm. He was just a monster outside of the bedroom.”
“Are you sure you’re not still in love with him? The psycho ex?”
“No, I haven’t seen or heard from him in years.”
“I mean with Simeon. Are you sure you’re not confusing old feelings for Mickey with Simeon? After all, they were best friends for a while, right?”
The question robs me of peace and forces me to think.
Old lifestyle patterns die hard.
Chapter 6
Simeon
“I don’t really know why I’m here,” Denise says to me. It took several paragraphs of email begging just to see her again. It’s the worst kind of rejection too, not the one where she’s angry at me—that’s too easy. Rather, she’s disappointed. She’s nostalgic. She sees things I don’t see and she knows things aren’t going to work.
We’re sitting in my convertible, the gas still running, parked in a somewhat quiet area inside the Riverside Park. She only agreed to meet me for a few minutes, most likely thinking this would be our “final” conversation, since there’s obviously been a breach of trust somewhere or the other. I feel so terrible I hardly even notice anything about her…except the solemn expression on her face. That attitude that says, I don’t want to be here. I shouldn’t be here.
“I’m glad you came.”
“How many girls have you said that beautiful line to?”
Stare.
“Sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. I’m sarcastic remember?” She laughs dejectedly. “I’m sorry, Simeon. I really didn’t mean for things to get this weird between us. I liked it better when we were friends…”
“Just tell me what you’re feeling.”
“I’m not feeling anything. I promise I’m not mad at you.”
“Was it Zander and Maya?”
“No, not at all. I mean, I get it. You’re dudes. Dudes are horny. Girls are willing. It’s not a big deal. It’s just…you know, not me. Not what I want to do.”
“So because of what Zander said you think I’m a sex freak?”
“No one’s a freak,” she laughs. “People are just sexual beings.”
“That part about the dungeon…”
“I know, it’s not true.”
I take a gulp.
“It is true?”
“Well…this is awkward. I was going to say, ‘It’s very private and it’s only used on rare occasions…you know what? Never mind.”
“You have a sex dungeon?” she cracks up laughing. “I can’t believe it’s true.”
“You want to see it?”
“Do I want to see it? NO. God, Simeon. You have no concept of how normal people live, do you?”
“No, not at all. Do most people have a…a sex…basement?”
She laughs and then I gradually start laughing. “You always could make me laugh.”
“Look, darling,” I say touching her hand and then clutching her wrist. She notices. She doesn’t pull away. “I don’t care about sex. I mean I like it, it’s great. But you should know that’s not why I thought I loved you. Or why I proposed or why I ever liked you in the first place. I believe in consent. In mutual pleasure. Romance, it’s all good. If that’s what’s bothering you…”
“Come on,” she says slyly. “So you’re telling me you’re not like Zander?”
“In what way?”
“It’s OK, you know. To be a freaky dude, into wild stuff. I get it. It’s just not me. You’re the kinky guy, I’m just the nice girl. That’s the only issue. It has nothing to do with you, Simeon, or you being a bad guy. I don’t want you to think that.”
As Denise starts speaking to me honestly, her sad eyes so glued to mine, so tender in her apology…I begin to notice more details about her. Before I hadn’t noticed, just the same way I never noticed her all those years she was married to Mickey UNTIL we chatted that one night.
Now I was seeing everything in vivid color. Her off-the-shoulder grey blouse, so enamouring. Her long flowing brown hair, so silky smooth. Her big expressive eyes, green and with dilated pupils. So focused on my face. Her skin, so perfect and soft. Her very kissable lips. She’s not a “young girl”, the type I usually date…but a mature, sexy woman. The kind of million dollar CFO most men dream of getting but very few ever do
I can’t stop looking at her, even while she pontificates a million and one reasons why she won’t marry me OR sleep with me.
“I don’t know, Simeon,” she says, “I keep thinking…I do like you. But more like a friend, like a brother or something. Every time I’m out with you…even before Zander…I kept thinking stuff like, ‘Is he trying to seduce me?’ I don’t want to have to worry about that. I don’t date…you know, players.”
“You think I’m a player?”
“Well…I thought that’s what we both agreed on and it’s fine, really…”
“But I’m not a player.”
She tilts her head and scowls…but can’t wipe the smile off her face. “Really?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“So all those stories Zander told…”
“All true. But I have an active sex life. I have had sex with a lot of women, yes. But I’m not a player.”
“Oh really?!” she laughs. “What is a player then?”
“A man who manipulates women into bed, seduction, lying, deceiving…”
“Right and?”
“All the women I’ve slept with wanted to be there. They wanted to be with me? So…I feel like you’re slut shaming me. Or the male equivalent of it.”
“Slut shaming a man?” she laughs. “Let me guess, all these women wanted you after you wrote that book and sold all those copies.”
“Yes. Obviously. A lot of women like…you know, rich guys. Big surprise, right?”
“Well I’m not one of them,” she says with a snarling face.
“You know…I don’t get you at all,” I say, almost defensive. Until I start undressing her with my eyes. So exotically beautiful. So perfectly sculpted. Her mysterious eyes calling to me. “N
obody WAITS for anybody, you understand that, right? Nobody is going to stay celibate for you while you go through life figuring out what you want in a marriage.”
“No, but there’s celibate and then there’s…you know, weirdo orgies or whatever that you have with your friends.”
“Zander? No I didn’t sleep with Zander!” I laugh hard.
“Did you sleep with Maya?”
“Uh no…but Zander did offer me once…it was kind of strange...”
She opens her eyes wide and I figure I should digress. “Umm look the point is, thinking that a man should have a ‘reasonable number of partners’ is ridiculous. It’s as absurd as saying a woman should be virginal until she meets the perfect guy. I mean sex happens. It’s fun. I thought you understood that.”
“I do understand that. But I just think back to a time when you were way more innocent. You had Sarah…”
“Right. We’d have vanilla sex and then she’d play on her phone for three hours.”
“And then you became this huge success story and then…”
“Then yeah it was much easier to get laid. Why are you threatened by the fact that lots of women want me? Why not just sit back and enjoy the ride?”
“It’s your ride, not mine.”
“No, I mean sit back and enjoy it, Denise. I smile and gaze into her eyes, leaning closer. I feel a rush of emotion, the kind I never allowed myself to feel the first time we were in such close proximity together. She smiles back at me, as if resentful, as if reluctant.
“You want me too. Don’t you? I’ve always wanted you. So just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the feeling of wanting something, somebody, and then taking it.”
I reach out and put my hand on her cheek. She smiles again and politely pushes me away.
“You’re very full of yourself, Simeon Hollock,” she says with smarm, shaking her head in judgment…but still looking me in the eyes.
“I said I want you, Denise.”
“I know you do,” she whispers back.
“And I know you want me…you’re just ashamed to admit it.”
“Why would I be ashamed to admit it?”
“Because you can’t…just…let…yourself…go.”
