by Vance Huxley
A reply came back from theGOFS, confirming they would trade fora few houses and access for the Barbies to trade in Orchard Close. Not a firm proposal,the GOFS wanted to talk face to faceaboutexactly which houses andhow much access. Harold’s curiosity piqued when instead of him taking his pickup to the meeting, a GOFS SUV escort turned up to collect him.Harold had decided to take Patty as his bodyguard, armed with everything short of a rifle, because with the Barbies the other side, the GOFS would know women were dangerous. The driver told Patty it was more of a pleasure than he’d expected, but claimed to have no idea why he’d been sent.
Harold had expected the usual meet near the border. When the SUV kept going deeper into GOFS territory,both Harold and Pattywondered why but the driver played dumb. The reason became clear as the car crossed an area of cleared rubble, heading for an imposing building. Harold only had Rob’s and Finn’s descriptions from when they’d fixed plumbing and electrics a couple of years ago, but realisedthe old school ahead had to be the Castle, the GOFSHQ. Now he started to worry, because if they’d be going in there the GOFS would want to disarm and search Patty. That wouldn’t go well.The GOFSusually met their neighbours nearer their borders, where all the bodyguards stayed armed.
Harold could see whythe GOFS called it the Castle,the thick stone walls and ornamentation along the edge of the roofwere meant to look like battlements. The place was old school, literally, even down to the gargoyles and a coat of arms carved into the stone over the entrance. The arched windows were blocked but they’d been filled in neatly with stone, leaving crossed firing slots.A heavy, metal clad gate,and the cleared area around the building,completed the castle impression.
Harold walked in through the big gates to find his first surprise, no search. The second was when the GOFS leader, Gofannon, met them personally. He looked Patty up and down. “So what are you, Soldier Girl?” He took another, slower look and whistled. “Blimey. What does your boyfriend say to that lot? Unless?” He eyed Harold.
“I’m Patty, and I’m dressed for visiting. I thought that if Harold can’t deal with whatever, it will be serious.” Patty smiled happily. “You’ll have to ask the boss how many girlfriends he has at the moment. It varies. My boyfriends usually say please, very politely.”
Harold tried to keep his surprise from showing, because that definitely wasn’t Patty-like, but Gofannon burst out laughing. “I’ve been told about Patty the Demon. The Barbies will love you.”
“They do, and they’ve got pictures. So where do I have to put this lot? I hope whoever is searching has some manners.” Patty smiled again. “And that she’swarmed her hands.” Harold tensed because that wasn’t a hint, Patty wasn’t letting a bloke search her.
“Ha. I reckon we could find a volunteer but there’s no search.If we allow you to get this far it’s because you aren’t stupid enough to try anything. You’re only here because we want to have a proper chat with your boss, away from prying eyes.” Gofannon looked back at Harold. “Patty can keep her gear if she promises to behave, and so can you, but we want to talk to you alone if possible.”
Harold turned to Patty. “Seems fair enough. Have a beer or whatever and relax.” She looked a little worried about splitting up so he grinned. “If you hear shooting and think it’s gone adrift, you know what to do.”
Patty smiled because a bodyguard’s job was a sort of joke between them. “Yup. I kill them all and rescue you.” The half dozen men and two women nearby joined in the laughter. Patty’s instructions were to get out if possible, and come back with help if feasible. In reality, both of them would die if a fight started in a place like this, as everyone here knew. The concession just meant that the GOFS weren’t as paranoid about visitors as either the Hot Rods or the Geeks. From what Gofannon had said, the paranoia had to be appeased before they letanyone through the gate.
Patty turned to find three men and two women waiting, all happy to take her to a beer and curious about her gear. Patty was armed very thoroughly but didn’t dress like the Barbies, which made her unique in GOFS territory. Harold noticed these women all carried knives, but none had machetes. They were relaxed around the men, and it went both ways. Gofannon noticed Harold’s inspection.
“We don’t make a big fuss about it, but we don’t abuse our women. The Barbies sorted that out and it’s sort of relaxing anyway, now it’s settled in.How we live in here isn’t public knowledge but we reckon you won’t rock our boat.” The GOFS boss hesitated a moment. “To be honest, it wasn’t voluntary to start with.” He fell silent, but Harold thought his escort seemed to be working out what to say so he kept quiet.
They walked halfway across the tarmac quadrangle, still marked out for netball going by the posts at each end, before Gofannon spoke again. “Your plumber saw the first arrangement, the room where we kept the women, so I should explain. We started off like a lot of gangs. We collected up some women and put them in that dormitory, the one he saw. They were sort of volunteers, but only because this was the best of a bad set of options, and leaving wasn’t an option once they moved in.There were real volunteers among them, because there always are.” From his expression Gofannon still wasn’t happy about the next part. “We’d been here about six months when one of our blokes came in, stripped naked and shaved bald all over. His arms were tied behind his back to make sure he arrived that way. He brought a message from the Barbies.”
“Cripes. Saying what?”
“The Barbies had captured a score of our men, fighters. When we asked why they’d surrendered, the bloke said they’d been surrounded. The Barbies must have used every fighter they’d got to show how hopeless it was. The men were told they’d be sent home unharmed after being ransomed, providing they surrendered.” The GOFS leaderglanced at Harold with a wry smile. “I would have probably chosen that over dying.”
“A ransom?” Harold hadn’t heard of the Barbies ransoming anyone.
“A very simple swap. Every woman being held against their will in exchange for all our blokes including their weapons. Otherwise our blokes would be taken to Beth’s and used in the same way as the women.” Gofannon gave a little laugh. “It was actually fair. Like for like. So we made the swap and then we”—he waved a hand ahead—”had a meeting.”
“That must have been some meeting.” Harold kept his face straight and his tone carefully neutral.
“Oh yes, but there weren’t many options. If we locked up more women, the Barbies would snatch more blokes. Then we’d swap.We’d be supplying the Barbies with women who hated us, and the Barbies would give them weapons. Strangely enough, once we actually talked about it, most of us were a little uneasy about the dormitory. We’d sort of drifted into it, and the women were sort of resigned to it. Only a couple of our council really objected to turning them loose, and were out-voted. Now all the women in here are genuine volunteers, and that’s worked out better all round.” Gofannon stopped, and gave Harold a long look before he continued.”We keep the arrangement private, because otherwise some arses among the neighbours would take the piss. The stroppierGeeks or Hot Rods wouldpush,until we killedone of them out of sheer bloody annoyance. Then it would get bloody.” The GOFS bossvoicesounded reluctant, probably because he was admitting a weakness to another gang.”Early on we weren’t strong enough to stand against a serious attack, and even now we need to concentrate on the General.”
“We have a similar problem, we daren’t confront the likes of Caddi head-on.” Harold remembered Rob reporting the room full of beds. “So you shut the dormitory down?” He wasn’t sure he quite believed Gofannon, because Caddi always got ‘volunteers’ when he wanted them.
“No, but the girls in there are genuine whores. The lads pay up and get serviced. A few of the men, andall the top blokes, have personal volunteers of course.You know how some women always want to screw the boss?” Gofannon looked at Harold with a half-smile, fishing for information.
“Yeah. They always did, or some of the old geezers would have never got near some of the w
omen in the scandal sheets.” Harold could see how that would work here, out of sight. There were a few in Orchard Close who wanted to get into the boss’s pants, just because he was the boss, and Harold knew at leasttwo women were selling sex. “Have the Barbies grabbed any more blokes?”
“Yes, once, because some of the troops didn’t believe the new rules. We swapped for our menand explained properly, and painfully. A couple died, including one of our council,which finally convinced the rest.” Gofannon showed absolutely no humour in that statement. “The rest of us have found out this way has benefits.” The usually serious Gofannon grinned properly this time. “Wait until you meet the Head Girl.”
“How come I’m getting to hear this?” Harold’s couldn’t work out why the GOFS dirty linen had been displayed for a rival gang boss.
“We have to talk seriously which means you have to meet our council, the top blokes with daft names, face to face.Quite a few want to meet you anyway and we don’t all gather together anywhere else, it’s too tempting a target. Once insidethe Castle, how we run things is pretty obvious so I may as well explain.” Gofannon glanced at Harold.”You only got in here because of what our blokes tell me aboutOrchard Close. With your rules and the way some of your women act, you’re hardly likely to rock the boat or take the piss about us.” He glanced back the way they’d come. “I can’t see your bodyguard spilling the beans to Caddi, and she proves a point. You don’t allow abuse, you’re consistent in how you treat women, and you really don’t care whose men you beat or kill to keep those rules.” Gofannon opened a heavily carved wooden door. “When we get in here I’ll explain why the talk is serious.”
*
They entered a large room,obviously the library Wayland had spoken of. As he’d said, most of the books had gone, whilethe shelving showed the marks of blade and fireso the place had been trashed at some time.A long table down the centre of the clear space claimed Harold’s attention. The table had seven men seatedround it, including several Harold had never seen before. The introductions broadened Harold’s knowledge of old gods, ending in, “And Cyclops, because he’s only got one eye.”
The man in question took off a diver’s facemask, to show two eyes behind his spectacles. “I’m bloody careful with me specscos we can’t find an optician.”
“Nor us.Maybe they’re with Ronald McDonald.” The rest laughed with Harold as Gofannon indicated a vacant chair.
Gofannon sat at the head of the table but Harold sat near him, not at the far end, sothe GOFS weren’t playing gang games today.The gang boss opened up the real meeting. “We are concerned about you and Caddi.”
“Why?” Harold didn’t understand. He became even more baffled when Gofannon mentioned Mercedes. Eventually he got it.The GOFS had heard rumours about Harold and Mercedes, and then that Mercedes might be moving to Orchard Close. That led to some of them wondering if Caddi had made a private treaty with Harold, and handed Mercedes over as the sweetener. Harold stopped laughing long enough to reassure them, he would join the Barbies before teaming up with Caddi. Mercedes might decide to move on at some time, but if Caddi ever tried to hand her over to anyone as part of a deal she’d probably cut his arm off.
Explaining all the rumours and whathad actually happened took a while, even after Harold cut out anything private. At least the GOFS seemed to understand Harold’s reticence, and didn’t push for more. When it came to the betting, Vulcan commented that the commando coupons would have bought the housing Harold wanted. Vulcan confessed to being treated to a night with Mercedes, but she hadn’t marked him like she had Darwin. He reckoned she wore a tent, and declared a no-go area down the middle of the bed. When Harold ignored the implied question about what she’d worn, or if there’d been a no-go area, everyone smirked.
The GOFS warchief confessed to keeping his jeans on, staying wide awake all night, and realising about two a.m. that losing some street cred might have been smarter. Klaus, one of the GOFS soldiers, wanted to meet Harold to check he didn’t stand nine feet tall and fart thunderbolts. He’d had his hand nailed to a door post with a knife while Mercedes explained her rules. Klaus didn’t blame her, but he wanted to get the Hot Rod who’d suggested patting her ass in a quiet place sometime.
Finally,Gofannon leant forward a little. “There’s one last little worry. You do a lot of work with Caddi, sometimes more than for us and the Geeks combined. How much does his business mean to you?”
“I do more work because he offers it, but it’s pure business. He’s a nasty little bastard and I’d shoot him tomorrow if I thought I could do it without a war.” Harold looked around the table and shrugged. “Cripes, when we made that alliance with the Barbies,we all more or less agreed to trim his ears sooner or later. It came up again when the refugees arrived from the General.”
“But then this Mercedes thing started so we wondered.” All the men at the table leant in, so this had to be the important part. “Caddi is greedy. What bothered us was the thought of suddenly finding your gang and his both coming at us. Our only line of retreat pushes us into the Barbies.” Everyone grimaced.
Harold didn’t see why. “At least that flank is secure.”
“Against Caddi or the General, but the Barbies aren’t exactly welcoming neighbours. Now, if Orchard Close is still independent, Soldier Boy can ensure Caddi doesn’t spring a surprise.” Gofannon gave a big satisfied smile. “Better yet, you won’t warn him, so if he tries he’ll get more than a bloody nose.”
“How?He’s probably got as many fighters as both of us combined.”Despite that, Harold would live up to the treaty and help the GOFS if necessary. He didn’t fancy being surrounded by Hot Rods and Geeks.
“Later. Once we’ve worked out what you want, we’ll tell you how you pay.” The rest chuckled about that while Gofannon reached down and brought out a hand drawn map.He handed it over, after pointing to a shaded area of housing that he wanted to sell. The narrow two mile strip joined Orchard Close to the Barbies, along the edge of the flooded area that held back the General. Harold didn’t fancy it, because he’d be guarding that frontier, but the GOFS insisted they’d keep their men there as well.Surprisingly, the GOFSaccepted the Barbies coming down the new access for a beer and trade. NowHarold started to worry about how much it would cost him.
When he tried to nail down a price, Gofannon included a wider bit, where the border bent round the water’s edge to meet the Geeks. Harold gave up even pretending to negotiate.”I can’t pay for all that.” A pity because despite having no electricity or water, and the broken windows, the houses were mostly weatherproof.They’d be perfect for Orchard Close-style scavenging.
All the GOFS started laughing.”Yes you can.” Wayland managed to straighten his face. “Do you need any swords?” He started grinning again.
Harold looked at the map and back at Wayland. “Don’t you think I’m far enough in debt?”
“We’re not sure.” Vulcan stroked his short coppery beard, looking towards Gofannon who nodded. “We haven’t said what we want yet. You still might have credit, so do you need swords?”
“Your Patty could do with one, to finish the set.” Gofannon explained Patty’s armament to the rest, and that she’d come as Harold’s bodyguard.
Harold shrugged and didn’t answer directly.”I’ll have a look at the swords, but we haven’t got a lot of gear to trade for extras.” Hewonderedif it might be worth buying just one, becausehaving an example of Wayland’s tempering might help Liz with her experiments. Casper or Alfie could swing a GOFS sword, no problem, as could Henry or Logan.
“We’ll sort out a trade.”The GOFSstill looked confident, but Harold still couldn’t figure out why. Hewent to look at the swords but they were too expensive to buy, even if Liz could make two thin ones out of one larger weapon.
*
The GOFS left Harold and Patty to eat in private, presumably so boththey and the GOFS could talk among themselves. Patty had also seen some of the houses being offered, and agreed with Harold that rabbit b
urgers and a bit of knitting wouldn’t be enough.She had news of her own. “It might be because I’m a woman, but a couple of the GOFS women unwound enough to swap dirt. We had a really good natter. These women are all volunteers, the bed mates as well as the workers.”
Harold explained what Gofannon told him. “I wondered just how voluntary he meant.”
“Totally as far as I can see. The bakers and that type of worker don’t provide sex unless they fancy someone, and could move back out to one of the estates if they wanted to. Some have regular boyfriends, proper ones, among the GOFS soldiers or other workers in here.” Patty looked impressed, so the women had been convincing. “There is a brothel but itsounds like a larger, more official version of the one in Orchard Close, women who choose that life. There are a few who volunteer forthe dormitory as a way of making a few extra coupons, or to pay a debt, then leave again.”
“Gofannon reckons the top men have volunteers.”
“They do, but nobody seems frightened they might be chosen without an option. Vulcan dropped by to check what he’d heard about my weaponry and a couple of women flirted with him, just fun stuff. He’s a real smoothy, old style. When he’d gone we swapped more dirt and lies and Gofannon’s woman is called the Head Girl. She organises the brothel, wears a gymslip, and is well past just voluntary. She carries a hockey stick to back off any others looking at her man.The other GOFS women seem to think their deal is better than most women get these days. They get treated better than Hot Rod women, but aren’t expected to fight like a Barbie or an Orchard Close woman.” She suddenly burst out laughing. “They allthink I’m here in case you feel randy.”
Harold laughed as well. “Cripes, I’d cut myself to bits.”
“But if we were staying longer, and you needed a shower?” Patty laughed again, at Harold’s blush this time. After the meal, she threatened to walk out looking a bit dishevelled, still adjusting her clothing. Maybe strutting around in all that weaponry had woken up the knitting Demon’s wicked side!
