by Vance Huxley
“When you put your hand up there, ‘Arold, it won’t be with all these spectators.” Mercedes looked over at the gobsmacked Hot Rods. “In fact, you might never get up my skirt. I might insist you take it off before you handle the delectables.”
“As long as there’s no audience, I will happily strip off every stitch on both of us. But I can’t promise to keep control afterwards.”
“I hope not!” Mercedes closed her other leg on Harold’s finger ends and rubbed it up and down. “Oh, I really hope not because this is very nice.” Harold agreed. There was conversation about this and that, but Harold didn’t even pretend to be keeping up. Snuggled in close like this, every time Mercedes turned towards him and spoke Harold could feel her breath on his face, on his lips. Harold wanted to kiss Mercedes, properly, and her smile and eyes said Mercedes knew. Her eyes said she might like it as well.
The visit didn’t last long because evening drew in too early right now. Harold wished it had been longer, and saw the regret in Mercedes’ eyes when Charger said they had to leave. “You could stop over for the dance at least? After all, those two are here as chaperones?” Harold squeezed her leg and stroked her tummy. “I promise to save you the last dance. All of them?”
“Not a chance, Harry. We’ve got strict instructions about getting Mercedes home before dark.” Charger sounded genuinely worried, probably because he couldn’t physically insist. “She wasn’t supposed to be coming at all, she jumped into the car at the last minute. Roller nearly strained something getting the message to us before we got through the gates. Sorry Harry, but Caddi would kill me.” Charger actually sounded sincere, which surprised Harold.
“Fair enough.” He smiled up at Mercedes as she stood and his hands slid off her. “I can wait.” When he helped her on with her coat,she stepped back into him so his arms were right round her. Once again Harold almost told Charger to sod off and leave Mercedes here.Instead he gave her the Christmas present, smiling because his attempts at drawing rabbits on the paper suddenly had more meaning. “For your burrow.”
At the gate,Mercedes passed her present from ‘Arold to Charger to look after.Goodbye wasn’t quite a real smoocheven when her lips stayed connected much longer. Harold could feel the moment coming and almost started the real kiss, but he wanted Mercedes to decide. Mercedes crushed herself against him and wriggled more this time as Harold wrapped his arms right round her. When she stepped back he watched the light and warmthin her eyes die as the Killer Queen took over.This time her real smile stayed. “Keep the burrow warm, ‘Arold.” Mercedes left with a wave, and a finger pointed at her ass.
Harold stood watching her car leave to a background of speculation from those around the gate. They all seemed to think the deal with Caddi would be history the first time Mercedes got Harold on his own. What the hell happened after that had a lot of people wondering, and would probably keep Harold awake sometimes. As he waved goodbye, Harold felt a lot of peace and goodwill,just in time for Christmas.He found himself wishing he had a pair of stockings to hang up, just in case.
When he turned from the gate Harold had to laugh. Roy and his three men stood in a line, mouths open. “Er, cripes, Harold. I thought the GOFS were winding me up.” Roy looked in the direction the Hot Rod car had taken. “If she does a runner, send for us.” A smile flickered on his face. “I’ve got a score to settle with the Hot Rods.” Harold saw the smile on Celine’s face as she stood just behind Roy, but managed not to smile himself. Celine haddefinitely found her protector, especially when it came to Hot Rods.
“If I don’t get the chance and it goes all wrong, give Caddi a long-range migraine will you? Gofannon will take you in afterwards.” Harold knew the GOFS would, because their boss had already offered Roy a job any time he wanted it. Several people cheered and suggested giving Caddi his migraine for Christmas. Others suggested Einstein, then more names and the serious moment passed.
When darkness fell on Christmas Eve, more beer and fried potatoes went up to the bypass. The girls came back laughing and high-fiving. They’d taken plastic mistletoe and reckoned they knew where Harold got his rules about being polite to women, from HM. Harold asked around quietly. The idiots really had been kissing the squaddies, but over the top of the sandbag wall so not exactly a clinch. Harold thought it more likely the sergeant’s rather than HM’s rules kept the squaddies polite, but the lasses had earned some extra goodwill up there. Liz promised to drive home to the women that they should run at the slightest hint of a grab.
*
Christmas Day dawned white, bright, and actually cheerful. Harold opened his present from Mercedes in private, spending some time wishing the two bits of silky nightwear weren’t empty. He recognisedthem, she’d tempted him with this set the first time they met. The note said, “In case I don’t have time to pack,” so Mercedes wasn’t sure how abruptly she would be leaving the Mansion. Harold manfully endured the teasing questionswhile he opened his other presents.
Daisy had managed to knit everyone a scarf apiece, with tassels. She enjoyed opening her presents, with plenty of squealing when she found a real Barbie doll.A Ski Barbie, because Ski thought any niece of Soldier Boy should have an appropriate role model. She’d still charged Harold a substantial number of coupons for the toy. After breakfast,Daisy pestered everyone until allowed out to round up a snowman building team. She included Joey, Georgina and Sukie so the Halloween spat with Georgina must be over. Wills managed to stop her opening most of his presents, retiring to his room with a large metal digger that had an operable arm.Eddie joined him with most of a set of Lego bricks. The new housing had plenty of scavenger material.
Another surprise present arrived, six cushions delivered by a smiling group of the ex-Murphy refugees. They’d all been embroidered with an Orchard Close tree covered in smiley faced fruit. The festive run-up before Christmaspersistedthrough Christmas Day. Tessa answered a knock at the door just after a dinner heavy on potatoes, sprouts and rabbit, but light on turkey. “For you, Harold.” When hejoined her, Tessa turned, held up the mistletoe and kissed him.The cheer from outside came as an even bigger surprise, and Tessa winked. “Since she isn’t here.”
The line of young women with plastic leaves and berries, and a big smile, meant Harold had to smile as well. He soon decided that Tessa’s display might have been a good idea, becauseseveral of the kisses were alcoholic and decidedly enthusiastic. The line of women left, laughing and waving their mistletoe, to bang on Betty’s door until a startled Alfie answered. Hazel, standing behind him, didn’t see the joke because Alfie’s kisses also included several fairly enthusiastic versions.Harold wondered how much Christmas cheer had been drunk.
During the afternoon, every house with a male had a visit from at least some of the ‘Kissmas Fairies.’ It didn’t take long for a group of ‘Kissmas Elves’ to form, and start on visiting the single women. By late afternoon, the ‘Kissmas Elves’ and ‘Fairies’ were trying out each other’s mistletoe. The plastic leaves and berries were very popular this year, with occasional ambushes continuingafter dark as some ‘victims’ looked for payback. The impromptu band played all day, even when the only expert took a break. Some players were already improving, while several children from Jilli’s school class joined in with recorders.Plenty of people were willing to sing, with volume replacing musical talent most of the time. Even Barbie Radio played some old Christmas standards, though ‘Christmas Time’ by The Darkness, ‘Mistress for Christmas’ and ‘Christmas with the Devil’ jarred with ‘White Christmas,’’Deck the Halls’ and ‘Jingle Bells.’
Daisy asked for crossbow practiceso the kids took turns with her little crossbow, shooting sticks at their snowmen. Outside the front gate, the Girl Club and apprentices scraped up enough snow for a snow-girl, equipping her with a Riot Squad helmet and spear. More snow scavenging from back gardens led to a series of brief snowball fights, until the ammunition ran out. It wasn’t planned, but everyone seemed to have decided it was time to have a real, old-style Chris
tmas. The squaddies declined an invitation to come and dance sotheir goodwill gift went up after dark, when the drones wouldn’t see the beer and soup. Even Caddi’s watchers were sent hot soup, delivered by half a dozen armed men without mistletoe.
*
Between Christmas and New Year,Lizorganised makingthe first batch of charcoal. Volunteers helped her build a sod kiln on the cleared ground, cutting and stacking the wood as instructed.Liz rubbed her hands over the result,wearing a permanent smirk as she helped to bag it up and set up the next burn. Caddi’s watchers could see the charcoal making, but had no idea where the wood came from because they hadn’t seen any arrive.
In the end, one of them just had to ask. By then everyone in Orchard Close knew what to say if any other gang asked about the wood or charcoal. “Harold is very grateful for the tip about timber from Caddi.” Most of the residentshad no idea what the message meant, but those in the know reckoned it would drive Caddi crackers. The warlord would spend hours trying to work out how Harold had raided the Trainspotters.
The girls repeated the mistletoe trip to the squaddies at New Year. That earned them a rousing three cheers from the bypass as they came back, so presumably Sarge wasn’t there. The New Year party was a blast, especially the music because the constant practice meant the band were now much better.The drummers had been whittled down to two, both of whom could actually keep the beat on sets of drums made from metal cans, boxes and barrels.
More of the women relaxed, which showed in their party wear because this time there wasn’t a theme. Despite dancing outside inthe gently falling snow, it wasn’t just the usual suspects showing a bit more leg or skin. A couple of slapped faces led to apologies, and the women relaxed a bit more. The two knitted mini-dresses were given an airing and had the desired effect,the wearers had a full dance card. Most of the young men were being very cautious. They liked this idea, girls in proper frocks who would dance if they were asked, and didn’t want to mess up. Here and there during the woodcutter dances and smaller versions after Christmas, the ancient art of chatting-up had been rediscovered.
When the BBC chimes announced midnight, every man had several New Year kisses, because there were more women than men. Several of the girls complained about the blokes all claiming more than one, and wanted equality. Harold neatly dodged the ensuing melee. He worried a bit that the newcomers were pushing boundaries too fast, but Sharyn reassured him. The Coven and Girl Club were keeping an eye open,even as some of them joined in. There would be no regrets over a hangover.
*
Harold’s real New Year celebration arrived during New Year’s Day, in the afternoon. When the phone call from Alfie told him Mercedes had arrived completely alone, Harold thought she’d made her break for it. Instead Mercedes waited outside the gate for Harold to come and talk. “Caddi wouldn’t let anyone escort me, because I’m not allowed to visit. It’s to keep me keen. Cheeky bastard.” Mercedes grinned at him, totally unrepentant. “So I came on my own. What do you think, am I in any danger of being kidnapped?”
“Not exactly. I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you inside if you like? Why don’t you ask me to ask you if you’d like that?”Just for a moment, as the laughter danced in Mercedes’ eyes at Harold using her own tease, he thought she’d go for it. The eventual shake of her head came slowly, and reluctantly. He stood aside and swept an arm to usher Mercedes through the gate. “Would you like to walk inside? I promise to carry out the searching personally. In private. In my burrow?” Searching wouldn’t take much because she’d left her coat in the car.
“That would be lovely. But if I let you do that then I wouldn’t want you to stop, ‘Arold. If I didn’t stop you, you wouldn’t stop. Would you ‘Arold?” Mercedes wasn’t hiding the sparkle in her eyes today, especially when she read the answer in Harold’s face. There were no Hot Rods here and her laughing eyes and the real, full, Mercedes smile were out in the open. “I can’t come inside, but will you please search my ass?” Mercedes pouted. “On top of my jeans but remember, that’s all that’s in the way.”
She’d done it again. When Harold’s eyes went to her blouse, Mercedes laughed. “Nothing under that either. It’s already untucked, so would you like to check?” She followed that with another pout. “Soon ‘Arold, I promise, but I had to come and give you a New Year kiss even if it’s a bit chilly. Warm me up, ‘Arold.”
“Any time, Mercedes. Just remember that if you ever want to come inside, the gate is always unlocked for you.” Harold stepped forward and Mercedes met him, not even hesitating before plastering herself against him. He got a good firm grip on her ass with both hands and pulled, while Mercedes wrapped her arms around Harold’s neck.
“Search, not just hold, ‘Arold.” Mercedes licked her lips. Harold had just started stroking the tightdenim when her soft, wet lips came up a bit and connected properly. Harold’s arms tightened, but Mercedes had crushed herself against his front anyway. One hand left herjeans and came all the way up her back to her neck, under her blouse. The little noise Mercedes made into Harold’s mouth burned out brain cells, as did the kiss itself.
Mercedes had very soft lips, her breath tasted slightly minty, and she slowly and thoroughly snogged Harold’s brain into jelly. He badly needed a shot of Gayle’s oxygen by the time Mercedes stepped back. As he did, his hand stroked slowly down her back and out onto her jeans. Mercedes glanced down at her blouse. “You checked, but round the back, idiot.” Her delighted smile,when Harold realised that his hand hadn’t found a bra strap,swept across to include the faces watching from Orchard Close. “That should keep us both going for a little bit longer.” The silly sods on the wall actually gave her a cheer.
Harold watched that lovely sparkle in her eyes die as Mercedes stuffed it back into hiding, again. He wondered what would happen the day she couldn’t, because this time Mercedes gave a little sigh. The Killer Queen wanted to abdicate. Mercedes turned and raised her hand in farewell. “I’ll be back so keep it warm, lover-boy.” After pointing at her ass to remind Harold to watch it, Mercedes swaggered down the road to her motor. The Killer Queen waved and blew Caddi’s watchers a kiss before climbing into the car and roaring off.
By now everyone knew the deal between Caddi and Mercedes. A good few, not all of them in Orchard Close, thought Harold should drag her into a bedroom and tell the Hot Rods to stuff it. Some knew him well enough to guess why Harold wouldn’t, he didn’t want friends to die when Caddi went ape. According to Liz, Mercedes was encouraging Caddi to wait, expecting her to come to himvoluntarily under the deal. Liz, along with all the squad leaders, thought Mercedes would refuse.
Harold thought that whatever Mercedes suppressedduring the Crash in order to survive had re-surfaced. When it broke free all hell would break loose. Some of the hell would be inside her head, as those happy eyes looked at what the Killer Queen had done to survive. He felt sure that when the Murphy war ended,Caddi would invite him to the Mansion to seal the deal. Mercedes would know that and have torun first, or kill Caddi and run. Harold, and the inner circle, believed she’d come here. Most thought that if Caddi died first, the Hot Rods might be too busy fighting for power to care.
None of them told Harold to turn Mercedes away, which gave him a real lump in his throat. Orchard Close usually tried to deflect any trouble, and not give any gang a reason to attack. Now even Tessa didn’t recommend throwing Mercedes back. She still called Mercedes the bitch, but made it a joke.Maybe Sharyn had it right, and Tessawas content to wait and see what sort of train wreck ensued.
*
The watchers told Caddi about the visit,of course. Mercedes had blown a kiss to them on the way past to rub it in. Once Orchard Close reopened after New Year, the Hot Rod visitors arrived full of the gossip and the betting in the Mansion. The commando betting had eased off. The Hot Rods all reckoned the first confirmation would be Mercedes’ underwear on Soldier Boy’s carpet, or on the flagpole. Now the wagers were about if Mercedes would wait until Harold visited, if she�
��d wait until the war ended, and if anyone else would get a chance at her once Harold and Caddi had finished.
All that didn’t help Harold’s peace of mind, but sitting quietly fixing guns now and then did. Even thenhe had to put up with a bit of gentle teasing, about Tessa’s job being in danger. Both jobs she reckoned, as Mercedes didn’t look the sharing type, and if Harold cheated either way the bite marks or gun-oil stains would give the game away. They made more muskets, fixed guns, and loaded the brass for the new clips Dealer had supplied.
Harold still walked the wall each night, and meeting Casper gave him his chance. Harold kicked at the bricks. “This could do to be a bit thicker.”
“Cripes, Harold, it’s at least a metre thick, two metres at the bottom where the firing step backs it up.” Casper stared at the bricks, then at Harold. “Where will you find another ten million bricks anyway?”
“There’s plenty out there. Our people are still knocking down the ruins around the Farm. There’ll be plenty left for walls around the new houses as well.” Harold laughed and kicked the wall again. “These didn’t take ten million bricks.”
“They might have. I lost count.” Casper stared out over the fields. “Are you worried about something ramming it? It would take a lorry to get through here.”
Harold seized on the excuse. “Our tank is a small lorry under the steel. There have to be some wrecked lorries out there and someone like the General or Caddi could fix one up. If they stick a snowplough blade on the front it’ll cut through the humpwe left across the fields, and won’t get stranded.Then ten or more tons, even moving slowly, might punch through. We should thicken up the ground floor walls of the guard houses as well, so nobody rams through them.”
