by Jamie Lake
He chuckled some more. “And they saw we wolves eat like animals.”
“Sorry.” I blushed, wiping the corners of my mouth. “Just starving.”
“It’s alright,” he told me. “Eat up.”
“Thanks,” I said, gripping more fries between my fingers and stuffing them in my mouth.
“If you’re thirsty, I can have one of the men make you berry juice.”
“Berry juice?” I asked, looking at him as I sucked the salt off my fingers.
“Yeah, wild berries. It’ll quench your thirst and it has many other … medicinal properties.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“They say it’s an aphrodisiac.” His voice rumbled and I almost choked on my food. He chuckled, patting me between my shoulder blades. “You alright?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”
I liked the feeling of his strong hand between my shoulder blades. I knew I shouldn’t be tempted, but I was still so turned on from the near miss I’d had with Buck earlier that any touch was able to start my penis bulging. But as he grew nearer to me his expression changed.
He sniffed the air. “Why does it smell like …? Were you with him today?”
His cheery disposition sounded gravelly suddenly.
“With who?” I asked, playing dumb. I knew exactly whom he was referring to. If he’d known that I’d spent any time with Buck I knew it would only cause problems, let alone what Buck and I had done together. And though I knew I had no reason to feel guilty, that I’d not broken any rules, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of it as he looked me over, examining me as if he were interrogating me without saying a word. I took another bite of my burger, trying to hide my guilt. I wasn’t sure it worked.
“He is not to touch you,” he said, rising from the mat. I looked up at his powerful body, my neck tilting backwards as he rose to his full height. I looked away, trying to play it cool so that he wouldn’t know we had turned each other on the way we had. I could hear some of the other wolves go about their business outside, and occasionally a soft breeze would open up the entrance to his hut, and I would catch one of the wolves peering in. With all those witness around Japheth wouldn’t do anything drastic, would he? I wasn’t sure. After all, I remembered how brutally he had attacked the royal puma, and I would not have been able to put up as much of a fight as she had.
“He didn’t,” I said, my voice going up an octave. It was technically true but I still felt like we had somehow transgressed.
“You belong to me,” he said, pacing back and forth.
“Japheth—” I started to explain weakly. He just didn’t understand that I had feelings for Buck as well.
“And only me!” he said, raising his voice so loud it made me jump. It startled me so much that I dropped the fries in my hand, and they fell to the dusty floor. My blood boiled. I never let anybody talk to me like that, not even someone who snarled at me and whose teeth were transforming into canines before my eyes.
His chest rose and fell, rose and fell, until his facial muscles began to relax and his eyes softened. He sank to his knees and re-joined me on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he said, approaching me with caution. His hand came so close to brushing against my cheek but I flinched away at the last second.
“No touching, remember?” I reminded him.
He bowed his head in submission, a rare gesture from one as strong-headed as Japheth. “You have to understand, all I want is for your life to be better. For our lives to be better.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” I told him, idly flicking the fries that had fallen to the floor.
“I know I’m not the most sophisticated man. I’m probably nothing like you’re used to. I don’t have pretty words to shower on you like … like my brother. But my heart is pure and I’d never really do anything to break your heart. My brother cannot be trusted and if you don’t believe me, time will tell. I only hope for your sake, it won’t be too late. If you knew how much I love you, how much I long for you, you wouldn’t look at him twice.”
He let his words linger as he remained by my side. I wasn’t sure what to say in response. It was an admission that should have been met with an affectionate embrace, but I had to follow the rules. What he said genuinely touched me, even if it did cast even greater confusion upon me. I simply offered him a grateful smile, and it seemed to satisfy him. He pursed his lips and took one last look at me before he rose. He started to walk away, leaving me with those thoughts. He was such a passionate man; he said everything with conviction. True, he didn’t have the grace or suave style of Buck, but what he did have was raw and real and unapologetically sexy. I couldn’t help but be drawn to him, especially after he had just admitted the depth of his feelings for me. It wasn’t often that someone poured their heart out and showed their vulnerability. But then my mind was drawn back to earlier with Buck, as well. The scales of balance kept swinging between them.
I took a deep breath. For a second, I swore I thought I saw someone outside the tent, watching me. But when I looked again, the eyes were gone. Maybe I was going crazy. It must have been the pressure. Was I going mad? I guess I was still spooked by what had happened in the house, when that damned feline had crept up and attacked me. I had to get used to being alone again because every time Buck or Japheth left me, I was continually glancing over my shoulder, and I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life like that. Things had been simpler when I was just a normal guy, not knowing where I belonged in life. Apparently I belonged here: it was my destiny as the special one, whatever the hell that meant. I may have known where I belonged but I still didn’t know whom I belonged with.
Every time I thought I’d made my decision, one of them would do something that would change my mind. This was no light decision, choosing a mate for a life, someone to live and die for, for all eternity. And I hardly knew them; I mean, really knew them. I knew how great the two of them were in bed, and I knew they would protect me equally, as well. But I knew so little about their pasts, what made them think, what made them laugh, what their sore spots were. The pressure was getting to me but it was clear: without one of them, there were too many unanswered questions and too many mysteries out there; dangerous mysteries, life-threatening ones.
A breeze fluttered again and the flap of the hut was blown open. Beady wolf eyes stared at me, hungry for me. Without Japheth or Buck, I would be torn apart by them, ravaged in an orgy of lust. But there were other things lurking outside as well, things that I didn’t understand, that I couldn’t comprehend. I knew that Buck and Japheth were still keeping something from me, something to do with my destiny. I could only deal with one problem at a time, though. At least I wasn’t hungry anymore.
CHAPTER THREE
Buck made his way back to the tribe. It seemed most of the time, when he wasn’t near me, he hung out in a tree, overlooking the tribe. The tree was tall and to watch him climb it was a thing of beauty. He dug his claws into the bark and used his powerful muscles to propel him up the thick trunk. At points he disappeared into the heart of the tree and all I could see was the faint rustling of leaves before he emerged again, balancing perfectly on a branch. He said he was on lookout, making sure there were no predators, like the puma that had attacked me. But something inside me told me there was more to it, much more. He was a strong man, one who walked around with confidence, without a care in a world, not a challenge he couldn’t face. And yet there were moments when he thought I wasn’t looking, that I saw flashes of hurt and anger in him, and even sadness. I wondered what was behind those gorgeous, sensitive, intense eyes of his – what was he thinking exactly? He was sexy, yes but could he really be trusted? His brother had caused me to wonder this. My head said no but my heart at times was split.
That evening, he took a deep breath and leapt off one of the highest branches on to the ground below. The men were wrestling, practicing as if for battle. Others were making weapons, others just sitting around the fire, talking. He swis
hed his mouth back and forth, his shoulders held back as if masking the insecurity he felt. They took a moment from their tasks to look at him as he strode through the camp. The light had dimmed early and the moon hung high in the sky, but small fires were lit around the camp, as well as the main one, and these provided most of the light, along with a crackling sound as the flames danced. Buck was cast in an orange glow as he inspected everything.
“Brothers,” he said, taking a seat on a rock that surrounded the blazing fire. The men immediately looked at him with disdain. One in particular, a black one named Andrew I’d recognized from before, rose up.
“Brother, you are no brother of ours,” he said snarling at him.
If Buck was offended, he didn’t show it. “I have the same blood flowing through my veins that you all do.”
“You lost those privileges when you abandoned us,” Andrew said with hate in his eyes. The other men grumbled in agreement. I kept quiet for I felt out of place, but it was fascinating to observe this culture and its customs.
“I had my reasons,” Buck said, spitting at his feet. “But let bygones be bygones. There are greater issues at present that affect us all and we can’t live in the past and let hate and anger and jealousy—”
“Jealousy?” Andrew challenged.
“Yes, jealousy,” Buck said, looking him up and down. “We can let jealousy get to us or we can band together and face our greatest threat.”
“Threat? What threat? The only threat I see before me is a threat to our integrity and our name as werewolves. You. You disgust me and don’t deserve to even be in our presence,” Andrew told him. He was joined by a few murmurs of agreement, and some of them had returned to their tasks.
“You don’t know what you’re saying. If you had any idea the sacrifices I’ve made—” Buck told them.
“Sacrifices? What sacrifices?” Japheth said as he approached the group, striding majestically among them. All heads turned towards him as his booming voice rang out. “Andrew is right. You can hardly be called a werewolf. Traitor, yes. That would be more fitting.”
The men chuckled. It rippled through the crowd, and although Buck remained motionless, I saw a flash of agony in his eyes. I knew him well enough to pick up on things like that, and my heart went out to him.
Hate ran through Buck’s eyes. “Weigh your words carefully, brother. You need me as much as I need you.”
“What do I need you for when I have all my real brothers?” he asked, motioning to them. This brought a raucous cheer, and Buck had to wait for it to subside before he could continue.
“But the puma princess—” Buck started to say.
“No, Buck, not here. Not now,” Japheth told him through gritted teeth.
“Then when?” he asked.
“Forgive him,” Japheth said to the group, laughing it off as if the whole conversation was a laughing matter. “He’s been living too long with the humans. He’s softened his ways.”
Buck turned and brushed against Japheth’s shoulder hard as he left the group, heading for the woods, back to solitude.
Japheth watched him as he disappeared into the woods and then he slipped out of the other werewolves view and met up with Buck from another angle. I followed carefully from a distance, hoping they would be too caught up in their own problems to sense my presence.
“Are you mad?” Japheth asked Buck, standing in his path. “Are you trying to start a riot? Create panic?”
“There is a threat, and it’s best they know of it now when we can do something about it—”
“Ignorance is bliss, brother,” Japheth told him. “She was a rogue, crazy woman. And now, she is no longer here.”
“And if they find out their princess has been killed? And that we did it? Do you know the warfare that will cause? Do you know how many hundreds of years our father and his fathers before him worked to keep peace between our people?” Buck asked him.
“They will not find out. What was left of her went up in flames, remember?” Japheth told him. “You need to get a hold of yourself. Fear is infectious.”
“And so is stupidity,” Buck answered. He pressed on into the woods, leaving Japheth with that thought.
“And, brother?” Japheth called after him.
“What?”
“It might be best that you stay away from Nathan. I wouldn’t want you to be tempted and break your word. A wolf is only as good as his word, as you know.”
“Tell that to yourself,” Buck answered him.
I gulped as I listened to them, worried that there was some underlying hostility that would erupt when I made a decision. Both of them were volatile and probably more similar than they cared to admit, and I dreaded to think of the civil war a dispute between them could provoke.
CHAPTER FOUR
I hadn’t slept well the night before. I kept having awful dreams about that puma woman attacking me, seeing her flesh burn in that incinerator, and her leaping up inside it, screaming as her flesh peeled back from the intensity of the heat.
“You did this to me. You did this!” she screamed.
I’d woken up in a cold sweat, drenched, trying to catch my breath. Japheth had allowed me to sleep in his hut and, according to the agreement between brothers, sleep alone. Not that I minded it; being around them was way too complicated and more importantly, way too much temptation for me and for them. How I wish they’d let me just choose the two of them. It could work somehow, someway, I kept telling myself, though I knew it wasn’t true. There was a deep divide between them that had existed long before I’d come onto the scene, and there was no way I could fix it in such a short space of time.
I stretched my arms behind my shoulders and let out a loud yawn. I put my shoes on and stumbled outside. It must have been 8 o’clock. I couldn’t believe I’d slept in so late. I expected to see the men already outside, rushing about, but no one could be found. I walked by a few of the makeshift tents and dared to peek inside and yet, no one. Where the hell were they?
Anxiety twisted in my gut as I rubbed the remnants of sleep out of my eyes. The fire was still simmering, as if it had recently been put out. It was almost as if they’d all picked up and left. Had they abandoned me? Had even Japheth and Buck decided I was much too complicated and just picked up and left? The very idea of it made my stomach sink. So many memories of how my parents had kicked me out, never having been good enough for them. Too gay, too effeminate, not enough of a man’s man for my dad to love me or for my mother to accept me. I tried to push those thoughts out of my head when I thought I heard a whooping sound of men cheering. I followed the sound through the forest. The bushes scratched at my shoulders as I weaved my way through them. The sound became louder and clearer. I squinted my eyes, angling my head so I could see what it was.
But then someone came up from behind me and covered my mouth, shoving me against a tree.
“Shh,” the voice said. I squirmed and squealed, but the hand muffled the sounds.
I turned my eyes to see Buck next to me with that wicked smile of his. I glared at him and he slowly relaxed his grip on me.
“We’re hunting,” he whispered.
“Alright,” I whispered back, crouching down with him.
I could see the other werewolves crouching down in a v-formation as they made their way along the forest floor, aiming for what looked like a giant elk. It was gorgeous, magnificent in every way. It stood proudly, completely unaware of the impending attack. The soft rays of the sun broke through the trees and framed the elk in a spotlight. I watched the wolves; they were all primed for action. Every muscle was taut, and my heart fluttered, overwhelmed by the sheer masculinity on display.
“God, you smell good,” he told me. “You don’t know how hard it is for me not to just tear your clothes off right here and now and fuck your brains out.”
I blushed. “Be good.”
“Why? I’m better when I’m bad,” he whispered with that seductively evil grin of his, and temptation tugged at my heart
.
“Oh?” I teased.
“You don’t want to challenge me,” he told me. “I always win.”
“And if you did win, what would you do?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself.
“I’d keep you moaning for hours. Don’t worry, I will win you one way or another and when I do, I’m going to punish you.”
The idea of being punished by him made my cock stir, but before my imagination could go into overdrive he moved, and the emptiness that was left by his absence was unbearable.
“Stay here,” he told me and before I could respond, he’d climbed up the tree so fast, it made my head spin.
He crouched along a branch so high, it hurt my neck to look up. He leapt off into another tree closer to the elk, and then another. The others crouched along the way, inching closer to it. I knew better than to move and yet I found the whole thing exhilarating. It wasn’t killing for sport, like my father had made us do when we were little. No, this was different. This was gaming for food, for sustenance, for survival.
One of the younger wolves, the blond one I’d recognized before, stepped on a twig and the snapping sound made the elk raise its head in alert. I could see the glares of the other wolves directed at him as he crouched his shoulders in shame. It was too late; the elk was off racing but the wolves ran after it from either angle.
The elk was no easy prey, leaping and swerving and weaving through the woods like it knew them like the back of its hand. As the wolves gave chase, their sprinting made a thunderous sound and the elk was lucky that it managed to keep up its speed. I was panting as I trailed behind, trying to duck and push away branches as I ran past them. My lungs screamed as I ran full speed, just to not fall too far behind, although I was faring better than the elk. It leapt clear across a brook, leaving the wolves unable to reach it. A few of them cursed and they stood with their hands on their hips, lamenting the fact that their prey had escaped, until out of nowhere, Buck leapt from a branch and tackled it, wrestling it to the ground before sinking his teeth into its neck. The elk struggled as blood spurted out in thick red jets. Buck used his strength to hold the elk steady as he gorged himself on the elk and tore a chunk of flesh away. Soon enough, the elk stopped struggling and twitching.
