It goes on and on and on, and still my boys don’t stop pushing me.
“Fucking beautiful, Eden,” Johnny finally grits out, pulling me down and kissing me again like a drowning man.
“So… fucking… hot,” Matt growls, pulling his fingers out of me and making me whimper at the loss.
Greedy. I’m so greedy.
“You’re going to do that for me again,” Matt tells me. “But this time, with both of us inside you.”
I don’t know if I can. I can’t move. I’m boneless. But of course I’m not going to argue.
Johnny’s still thick and hard inside me, and then I feel Matt pressing against my little hole again… but this time, it’s not his fingers. The thick head of his cock rubs against my back entrance, back and forth, back and forth—gently, and then more insistently, lighting up all my nerve endings until I’m getting worked up all over again.
I don’t know if I can do this, not with Johnny inside me, too, but oh, Lord. I want it.
I’m panting.
Quivering.
Suddenly desperate for it.
And then I get it. Matt breaches me from behind, and for a split second, it is too much. His cock is a lot bigger than three fingers, and that first slow, shallow thrust makes it feel like I’m being ripped in two. Like there isn’t room, not when I’m already filled in the front with Johnny’s thick length, too.
“Fuck… fuck… fuck,” Matt chants in a low voice from behind me.
He sounds wrecked, too, and I gasp, tears springing to my eyes as the fullness overwhelms me.
“Bear down, princess, you can take it,” Johnny says, eyes locked onto mine. “Let him in.”
I want to.
And Johnny jumped out of an airplane for me. I can do this for him.
…and for Matt, who’s stroking my ass almost reverently as he mutters the sweetest, dirtiest things behind me.
…and oh Lord, for myself, too. I do want this, I do. I never have before, but right now? To have both of them inside me at once? I suddenly can’t imagine anything I want more.
A shudder of pure desire goes through me, and I force myself to relax. Matt slips in deeper, letting loose with a low groan that’s so deep and sexy that my body can’t help but respond.
“Ohhhhhh,” I moan, all sorts of pleasure points suddenly bursting to life inside me.
“Oh, fuck,” Johnny grits out, eyes locked on mine as he fists one hand in my long hair. “That’s it. Take it, Eden. Fly, princess. Fly.”
Matt pushes in even deeper, a series of shallow thrusts that fill me and fill me and fill me, taking me from that first, painful burn to a quivering uncertainty to so amazingly good that my whole body starts to shake with it.
Crave it.
Wonder how I ever survived without it.
“Oh my God,” I gasp, flooded with sensation. “Oh… yes.”
Both of them inside me? Both of them fucking me at once? It really is like flying.
It’s overwhelming.
It feels like I’m teetering on the verge of coming apart completely… except that there’s nowhere to go. Johnny’s got me locked tight in his arms, my breasts flattened against his hard chest, and Matt leaning into me from behind, pinning me between them.
They’re both inside me, and their cocks fill me to overflowing.
They’re both inside me… and then they start to really move.
First Matt, his thrusts deeper… stronger… faster. Then Johnny, staying in perfect sync. Rolling his hips under me. Thrusting up each time Matt pulls back.
Their hard muscles flex against me from all sides, holding me, pushing me, driving me toward something amazing.
Something I didn’t even know I could have.
Something so big that all I can do is surrender to it.
Surrendering is all I want to do, and with the two of them, I know I can. Pinned between them, secure, I feel as weightless and free as I was when I jumped.
And like I’m falling toward something just as fast.
“Christ, that’s… that’s good,” Matt grits out, starting to drive into me a little harder. A little faster. “So… fucking… good.”
I start to shake.
“Fuck, Matty, I can feel you,” Johnny gasps out, fingers digging into my hips. “Feel you… inside her. I’m not… not gonna last like this.”
“Eden—”
“Princess—”
“Yes.” I’m gasping. Panting out the words. The only words I ever want to say to these two. “Yes yes yes.”
I’m going to come again, just like Matt wanted me to. It’s building inside me like a tsunami, every inch of me engorged with sensation. Their cocks slide against each other inside my body with each thrust, barely separated by the thin barrier between my two channels, both pressing against my most sensitive places, over and over, and a deep, delicious tension coils tighter and tighter inside of me, consuming me.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
It’s better.
It’s both of them.
It’s us.
“Fuck… Eden,” Johnny groans, hips stuttering against me as he slams them home. “Jesus, Matty. I’m coming.”
Matt shouts out his own release, buried in me to the hilt, and then the tsunami breaks over me, too. Sweeps me away in a beautiful swirling, shuddering, endless wave of bliss.
It’s perfect.
It’s everything I didn’t know I needed.
I really am complete now. I’ve finally, really lived… and despite my fears, even if I never risk telling them, I’ve finally fallen in love, too. It’s the one thing I was never brave enough to put on The List.
It’s everything.
18
Matt
Bill and Jimmy and all the guys have had fun today, giving me shit about my “extended vacation,” but hey, I don’t even mind. I’m so damn happy to have full use of my arm again and to be back at the station—my home away from home—that I’ll happily put up with all of it and ask for more.
I know I’m trying to do too much when I yank some equipment down for cleaning and wince, joint pain filling me up. I keep forgetting that maybe sudden movements with an arm that’s been wedged mostly in the same position for months aren’t the best idea. No matter, though, it’ll get there.
“What’s that look about?” Bill jokes, coming up behind me and clapping me on the shoulder. “First day on the clock and you’re already trying to scam yourself back to that couch, eh?”
“You wish you could get rid of me that fast,” I say, grinning.
“Hell, no,” Jimmy says, walking past with a couple of the other guys. “It’s good to have you back, Lopez.” He waits a beat, then winks. “You know nobody washes that engine like you do.”
“Hey now, that’s a probie’s job,” I say, since he expects it.
He laughs and moves on, but truth is, I’d happily wash engines right now.
Bill heads out, too, and I close my eyes and take a deep breath. All the familiar smells fill me right up like I was never gone. Old soap and hot concrete smell and a thousand other things that my brain latches onto as “home.”
I’ve missed this place. I like being settled. Like knowing I can count on things that matter always being there. Johnny calls it my “nesting instinct,” and maybe he’s not wrong.
Truth is, I would’ve hated growing up like Eden did, always moving around. I don’t really get my mom and her need to always be on the move, either. I was thinking it was her running away this whole time, but since starting to mend bridges with my dad, now it’s starting to seem like maybe I was wrong. Maybe she’s running to.
To new experiences.
To new horizons.
To things that make her feel just as fulfilled as knowing I’ve got roots and a place in the world do for me.
Different strokes, amirite?
But even with the guys razzing me here, it just feels good to know that things haven’t changed while I’ve been gone. I finish u
p the equipment and notice a new Embrace Diversity poster on the wall, and it reminds me that actually, some things have.
Or really, just one.
Johnny’s had nothing but good things to say about the new guy, and I got a good impression, too, at the barbecue last month, but we’re gonna be working together, me and Asher, so I figure a “good impression” isn’t enough. He’s part of the family here at the station now, and after what I’m ashamed to think he probably heard about me, I need to make sure we’re solid.
I know he’s on a 24-hour shift right now, same as me and Johnny, so I go looking for him. It’s dead today—a blessing since we’re still in the middle of an August heat wave—so the guys on shift are scattered in various places around the firehouse, doing housework for the most part, or getting their workouts in like I know Johnny is right now, or just shooting the shit, which is—nine times out of ten—Bill’s favorite pastime.
Earlier, I spotted Asher sitting cross-legged on one of the crash beds, scribbling in a notepad, and sure enough, that’s where I find him. Figured maybe he could use a small break, so I fixed up a couple cups of coffee. Symbolic of my good intentions, maybe, since it bugs me that he might still think of me as someone who’d give a shit about him being with another guy.
Even though, okay, fine, a couple of months ago? Guess I would have.
“Hey, bro,” I say, leaning a hip on the headboard of the empty bed next to where he’s sitting.
It takes him a moment to realize I’m talking to him. He looks up from his notepad and blinks, and when he sees it’s me he’s… well, not unfriendly. Not at all. He smiles, but I can see it’s a little guarded.
“Hey, Lopez.”
“Take one of these from me,” I say, offering one of the coffee mugs. “Hope you take it with cream and sugar.”
His smile turns into a relieved grin as he takes one. “You read my mind, I feel like I’ve been making these notes forever.”
I glance down at his pad and have to bite back a smile. Looks like he’s dissecting the last call he was out on, breaking down what went right, what went wrong. Things that will eventually be instinct, but it’s not a bad sign that he wants to improve his performance.
I use my free hand to pull over one of the wooden chairs, turn it around, and straddle it backward, leaning against the chair back and taking a sip from my mug. Doesn’t occur to me until I’m seated that I did it with my left. I hold my right out in front of me, turning it this way and that. It’s damn good to have that cast off, but it definitely still needs some work to get back where it needs to be.
Maybe I’ll go catch Johnny in the weight room after Asher and I make nice.
“Thinking about how good it is to have it off?” Asher asks, grinning at me.
“Thinking about Johnny,” I answer, not sure why that slips out even if it’s sort of true. I cough, feeling weird about that, and add a quick, “Yeah, it’s great to have the cast off. You ever worn one?”
Asher points to his right leg. “Senior year. Bottom of the ninth. Sliding into home.”
I laugh, almost spitting out my coffee. “No shit? Same thing happened to me, a bit younger, though. Guess we’ve got something in common, yeah?”
He raises his eyebrows, giving me an odd look. “Guess so.” He takes a sip from his mug. “This is perfect. Cream and sugar. Guess you and I are gonna be coffeemates.”
I roll my eyes and grin at the pun. “Oh, that’s hilarious.”
“Gotta bring something to the table,” he says, raising the mug in mock salute. “I bet you’re thinking I could get by on good looks alone, but that doesn’t quite cut it with all the guys here.”
He’s joking, but there’s just enough of that edge underneath that I know he’s testing me, too. And fine, this is why I wanted to talk to him, yeah? So I go for it.
“Speaking of that, uh, how you settling in?”
“Just fine,” he says, raising an eyebrow and not giving me an inch.
Okay, so maybe that version of me going for it wasn’t really as clear as I’d meant to be. I clear my throat and try again.
“Look, Asher, I just want to make sure that we’re good, you and me. I’m looking forward to working with you. I just… just wanted to get that stated up front.”
He looks at me for a second, tilting his head to the side like Johnny always does, then offers a smile that’s a little less guarded than the last one. “You’re not what I was expecting, Lopez.”
“Just Matt is fine,” I say. It’s half-and-half for what the guys here call me, and normally I don’t even notice—answer to either one—but somehow, sticking with first names just feels more friendly right now.
“Okay, Matt,” Asher says, raising an eyebrow. He lifts the mug. “So this is your olive branch?”
I laugh self-consciously, rubbing at the back of my neck, but yeah, it is. Guess I’m just embarrassed that I need one, now that I’m seeing things a little more clearly. We’ve never had a gay guy here before, at least, none that I ever knew about, and some of the shit that gets tossed around between us—well, I can guess it might not have felt all that welcoming to Asher.
Worst part? If I’d been on duty when he’d started, I would have been one of the biggest offenders. I know it, and I’m now a hundred percent sure Asher got word, too.
He’s just waiting on me, so I nod. “Guess you heard I’d have a problem with the gay action, yeah?”
“No one actually told me how you like your action,” he says, so straight-faced it takes me a minute to get that he’s joking.
“Oh, you’re a riot,” I say, grinning. Then I clear my throat again. “But for real, man, the gay… how’s that going for you?”
I try to imagine it. Him just dealing with the shit here from the guys, and probably everywhere else, too. Not the first time I’ve tried to imagine gay, but the other times, I was really just thinking about the sex parts. And okay, so the sex is… it’s something that I’m… guess you’d say something I’m not exactly averse to thinking about.
Something my dick is definitely not averse to thinking about, not lately.
But these other parts—thinking about how I’d feel in Asher’s shoes—it doesn’t just make me want to clear the air between the two of us, it also makes me feel pretty low for all those years I treated my dad like that was the part of him I had a problem with. Not to mention any other Ashers that might have come and gone here at the station, but never had the kind of balls he does to just be out there like that.
Thank fucking God Eden opened my eyes to what an ass I’d been.
Asher’s kinda laughing at me while trying not to show it, I can tell, and guess I got a little lost in my own thoughts, because for the life of me, I’m not sure why.
“What?”
“I guess I just never had anyone ask me how gay is working out for me before,” he says, giving in and letting his laugh out. “I’ll go with ten outta ten. Would recommend.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I say, laughing. “You know I meant how’s it going here at the station. You know, with the guys and all.”
He shrugs, losing some of the laughter.
“Fine. Not everyone is comfortable with it, but hey, welcome to life.” He pauses to take a drink of his coffee, eyeing me hard over the rim of his mug, and then… there it is. “I was told you’d be one of those people, actually, Lop—Matt.”
I nod. Fair enough.
“Yep,” I say, pulling the Band-Aid off. “I would’ve been, but then someone pulled my head out of my ass, thank Christ.”
Asher looks kind of surprised I’m admitting it, but then something behind me catches his attention, and he gets a decidedly evil grin on his face. “Someone, huh? He have anything to do with that?”
I turn to look and Johnny waves at me and Asher with a cheerful grin. Looks like he’s done with his workout but hasn’t showered yet, and it’s obviously been another upper-body day, given how his shoulders are looking flushed and cut, bursting out of his sleeveless tee.
“Thought you were going to join me, Matty,” he says, leaning against the doorway and wiping some sweat off his face with a hand towel. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna keep babying that broken wing now.”
“Fuck off,” I say for the second time in a few minutes, grinning back at him. “Just didn’t want to show you up.”
He snorts back a laugh, shaking his head. “All talk, bro, all talk.”
“You wanna go back down? I’ll show you talk.”
He laughs, waving me off, and heads to the showers.
I turn back to Asher, still smiling, and find that he’s looking at me in the oddest way.
“What?” I ask him, looking down like maybe I spilled some coffee on my shirt.
“So it was him, right?” he asks. “You figured out…?”
His voice just peters out, and what, am I supposed to read his mind now?
“I figured out what? And no, it wasn’t Johnny. My… my girlfriend set me straight about how I was a bit messed up in my thinking is all.”
Feels a little odd to use that word for Eden, but it fits. She is my girlfriend, far as I’m concerned. It’s just that she’s Johnny’s, too. And Johnny’s my… well, I mean, he’s Johnny. I don’t really know what to call the three of us, and being home and sort of out of the public eye for the most part while we fell into this, guess I haven’t had to think about it too hard up until now.
Asher’s eyes go wide for a second when I mention Eden, and suddenly he’s backpedaling like crazy and I’m still not sure why. “Oh! I.. Sorry, I thought you, uh, I guess when I saw… I just assumed that—”
“You thought what, bro?” I cut in, feeling weirdly impatient with the way he’s suddenly stumbling about. “Spit it out.”
His eyes dart to where Johnny was standing a minute ago, then he shakes his head. “Never mind.”
I narrow my eyes. Yeah, no. What the fuck is he going on about?
I should just let it go, but it’s bugging me for some reason, and I can’t.
“What, Asher? You thought, you say, you assumed… Jesus, bro, just tell me what you’re trying to say already.”
Three Page 21
