“It’s long overdue,” he murmurs, looking down at his white sneakers. “I was an idiot.”
“It’s in the past now,” I tell him, glancing around the restaurant. “I better go. But, Clint?”
“Yeah?”
I step to him and wrap my arms around him. “I’ve forgiven you, now forgive yourself.”
I don’t want him to carry this around with him. We were young, and it was me who crashed. I know he’s sorry for what happened afterward, and he should be, but I guess all we can do is take this as a lesson, and learn and grow from it.
One sad smile, and then I leave his side, not feeling any lighter, but happier for him.
I will never forget what happened.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy and look forward to everything ahead of me.
Be hopeful.
I’m just not going to look behind me anymore, because there’s nothing left there for me.
I make it through my first two weeks of college, my nerves calming as I meet new people and get used to the lifestyle. When you start to know your way around, the campus isn’t that big, and there’s no need to freak out and go half an hour early for every lecture, which is what I did on the first few days. I get to see Ace again today, and I can’t wait.
I hear him before I see him, then watch as he rides toward me, stopping in the campus parking lot. Everyone around me is watching, wondering who he is; I don’t miss the curious looks on their faces. He’s in all black, and when he takes off his helmet his light hair makes its appearance, and those gray eyes land straight on me, like he knew exactly where I was standing the whole time. With a small smile, I run toward him and jump up into his arms, squeezing him tightly.
“Right where you belong,” he murmurs, kissing my cheek, then my lips. I slide down his body, but don’t let go of him, my arms around his hips.
“I missed you,” I tell him.
“Me too,” he replies, handing me my black-and-hot-pink helmet. “Are you ready to get out of here?”
I nod and put my helmet on, waiting for him to get on before I slide on the back behind him, holding him. This is home. On the back of his bike, my arms around him, no other worries in the world. I’ve missed this feeling, and him, so much. The ride to the motel is quicker than I would have liked, but I enjoy it all the same.
He quickly checks in, and we walk to the room, holding hands, only letting go when he has to unlock the door.
The door slams closed behind us, and his lips are on mine, and we’re catching up for lost time in the best way possible. He undresses me quickly, then throws my naked body onto the bed, before removing his clothes and pressing his bare skin against mine.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he grits out, kissing down my neck. “I was hard the whole ride here. It was torture.”
“I’ve missed you too, Ace,” I say breathlessly. “Let me show you how much.”
I try to roll him onto his back, but he doesn’t budge, so I tap his shoulder. One deep, lingering kiss and then he humors me, lying back on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head. I take a second to appreciate the beauty that is him, from head to cock and back up again.
“You are something else,” I mutter, moving to straddle him, then leaning forward and kissing him, while my hand reaches between us to stroke his big cock, my breasts pressed against his chest.
“And you are so fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers, his tongue touching mine. I place his cock at my entrance and slowly push down on him until he’s in all the way. He feels different, in a good way, and I suddenly realize why.
“We aren’t using protection!” I whisper, starting to freak out. “I’m on the pill, but . . .”
“But what?” he asks me, gripping my hips and starting to thrust. “I got checked recently and haven’t been with anyone but you, so I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you sure you’re on the pill?” he replies cheekily, rolling me over onto my back and grinding himself against me. “Of course I’m sure. I’m not going to put you in danger, Erin.”
His lips cut off any reply I might have had.
Fuck, it’s so good to have him back.
I don’t know why, but I feel a little nervous bringing Ace to meet all my friends. Mona he already knows, but it’s a little weird to mix both my worlds together, especially because they are so different, and I have no idea how this is going to go. We had all decided on dinner and drinks at a local bar, something casual. We arrive on his bike, and I find myself missing my own and the chance I had to learn to ride it and to conquer my fear. I still hope that one day I can continue my lessons, even if it’s Ace teaching me.
I feel kind of like shit that I’ve forgiven Ace but still haven’t properly made up with my father. It should probably be the other way around, family first. Dad just really hurt me, but I don’t know if I’m taking it out on him because he’s not my first parent to do so.
But he is my father.
And I do love him. And I’ve already lost so many years with him.
And I miss the men. Knuckles, Dreads, and Rogue, and even the ones whom I didn’t get to know that well. They’re a motley crew of different, crazy personalities and temperaments, yet somehow they all get along together.
“I think I want to see my dad,” I tell Ace as we walk toward the entrance.
“He will love that,” he says to me, opening the door. “He’s been fuckin’ miserable and grumpy as shit ever since you left, and he’s taking it out on all of us.” I’m sure I hear him mutter under his breath, “Especially me.”
I see Mona, Glen, and Roger sitting in a booth, surrounded by more than three drinks.
“Over here,” I tell Ace, leading him with my hand in his.
“Erin!” Mona calls out, waving her fingers at me. “There you are.”
“Hey, guys,” I say. “This is Ace. Ace this is Glen and Roger, and you know Mona. Where’s Clo?”
“She should be on her way,” Mona says, sliding down the booth. “Come sit down. What do you want to drink?”
“I’ll order something,” Ace says, kissing me on top of my head. “What do you want?”
“I’ll just have a cocktail of some kind—surprise me,” I tell him.
He walks to the bar, and we all watch him.
“No wonder you’ve turned down every guy who’s hit on you when you’ve got that,” Roger says, jaw dropping. “I mean, you’re cute, Erin, but how the fuck did you get him?”
I throw a napkin at him. “Jerk.”
“I’m just saying,” he says, glancing back over at Ace. “I’m not gay, but he might be able to sway me.”
“Can you say that louder? I don’t think the people on the other side of the bar heard you,” I whisper-yell, rolling my eyes.
“He’s not hotter than me, is he, Mona?” Glen asks, narrowing his eyes on her.
“No, of course not,” Mona replies, but when he turns his head she mouths “Yes, he is” to Roger and me. When we start laughing, Glen starts to ask why, which only makes us laugh harder. Ace comes back to the table with a cocktail and a beer and sits down next to me.
“Thank you,” I say, taking a sip and getting a delicious cinnamon flavor. “This is so good. Want to try some?”
He has a quick sip and nods. “That’s not bad at all.”
The conversation starts flowing, and I notice Ace kind of pretending Roger doesn’t exist. He doesn’t look his way, or engage him in any conversation, even though he does with Mona and Glen. I can’t think of any reason he wouldn’t like Roger other than that we spend time alone together. There’s absolutely no attraction between me and Roger, just pure friendship, so he has nothing to worry about. I guess if Ace hung out with a girl all the time though, I’d kind of be wondering who the girl is and assume she wanted my man.
It’s Roger though.
I can’t even take him seriously, and the thought of being more than friends with him makes me cringe.
I down my
cocktail and try to enjoy the rest of the evening.
27
I’m standing next to Ace’s bike when Clover finally pulls up and gets out of her car. I notice her eyeing Ace a little warily, and then she looks next to him and sees me, so she walks over.
“Who are you?” she asks Ace, then turns her head to me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I tell her, brow furrowing. “This is my man, Ace. Ace, this is my roommate, Clover.”
“Your man is a biker?” Clover asks, something working behind her hazel eyes.
“Yes, he is,” Ace replies, studying Clover. “Clover, hey. Where have I heard that name before?”
Clover shrugs and puts her hands in her jeans pockets. “There are a few of us around. Are you from an MC? You aren’t wearing any colors.”
“I’m just here to see Erin, not on any club business, so I chose not to wear them out,” Ace explains, frowning. “And what do you know about any of that?”
She shrugs once more. “Erin and I have been binge watching Sons of Anarchy, what can I say? I’m curious.” She turns to me. “Sorry I’m late, Erin. Are you leaving now?”
I nod. “Yeah, but everyone else is still inside.”
“All right, I’ll see you on Monday then?” she asks me, and I nod.
She smiles and heads inside the bar, leaving me a little confused by her behavior. She seemed almost suspicious and didn’t like the fact that Ace is a biker. I may not know much in this life, but my gut tells me that there’s more to Clover than she’s letting on.
“That’s your roommate?” he asks, an odd look on his face.
I nod. “She’s amazing, Ace. She’s seriously badass. And I’m sure you noticed she’s also a total stunner.”
I don’t say it in a jealous way, just stating a fact.
I take my helmet in my hand and smile up at him. We only had one drink, followed by dinner, because we knew we were riding home, but I still feel that buzz. I always do when I’m around him.
“Did you have an okay time with me and all my barely legal friends?” I tease, playfully nudging him with my shoulder.
“I always have a good time when you’re around,” he says with a charming look. “Knuckles was telling me the other day how you’re one of his favorite people to have a drink with after you both had so much fun that night.”
“We really did,” I say wistfully, glancing down. “I do miss all of them. I was just thinking that on the ride over here.”
“You’d be welcomed back with open arms,” Ace says in a soft tone. “Even by your stubborn-ass father.”
I decide to change the subject. “Do you want to do something else now? Or just go back to the motel and chill?”
“Let’s go back,” he says, a glint of lust in his eyes. “But we’re going to do more than chill.”
“What are we going to do?” I ask with a straight face. “They have a few board games in the motel. Monopoly?”
He pulls me close and whispers in my ear. “I’m going to fuck you in the shower, up against the tiles, and then I’m going to throw you on the bed and eat your pussy until you come so many times that you’ll be pushing me away.”
“Oh,” I mouth, licking my suddenly dry lips. “Well, what are we waiting around for then? Let’s go.”
He kisses me, just to give me a taste of what’s to come, and then gets on his bike.
I do the same.
I’ve never had shower sex before, but it’s on my bucket list.
Another tick.
Ace leaves on Monday morning, and I go back to college life. I go home to have dinner with Mom, Brock, and Eden on Tuesday, because I’m only forty-five minutes away they expect me to drop by at least once a week. Eden comes and picks me up, and we chat the whole ride home. I’ve never been away from her this much, and it’s quite an adjustment.
“Have you spoken to Gage?” Mom asks at the dinner table in front of everyone.
“Why?” I ask her, sticking my fork in a roasted potato. She can never leave anything alone.
“Because you were quite upset the last time he came here, so I’m just curious,” she says, taking a sip of her red wine.
“I spoke to him on the phone, but I’m thinking of going there next weekend to visit,” I say, telling her the truth but knowing she’s going to hate it.
“I thought you’d let that whole thing go,” she replies in a disapproving tone.
“He’s family. How do you let that go?” I ask her, keeping my tone even. I try to change the subject. “How is everything at work?”
“Good,” she replies, chewing and swallowing before continuing. “I’m thinking of applying for the deputy principal position.”
“That sounds wonderful,” I tell her, meaning it. “And how about you, Dad? How’s everything at your school?”
He teaches at a local high school, while my mom teaches elementary school. They met in church, and the rest, as they say, is history.
“It’s good, sweetheart,” he replies, gentle brown eyes on me. “Same old. Not as interesting as your college experience so far, I promise.”
“Any boys you’re interested in?” Mom inserts, looking to her husband. “You know, I actually saw Clint the other day. He’s looking quite fit.”
Great.
My mom doesn’t know about Clint cheating, or anything that happened after the accident.
“No, no boys,” I tell her, and, technically, I’m not lying.
Because Ace is all man.
Ace offers to come and pick me up on Friday after my last class, but I tell him not to worry about it, that I’ll just take the bus. There’s no point in him riding all this way just to give me a ride, but it’s very sweet that he wanted to. It will be about 9:00 p.m. when the bus gets in, but it means I have an extra night there than if I left tomorrow morning. I listen to music the whole ride, with my eyes closed, just daydreaming and napping. I don’t mind the bus, if I’m being honest, although I see the way people cringe every time I tell them it takes a few hours to get to the city. I’m used to it, though, and it’s a time where I’m alone with my quiet thoughts.
I pick up my bag as we near the station, and smile to myself when I see Ace already waiting for me. He has a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and I laugh under my breath, amused at the romantic gesture. I didn’t think he had a romantic bone in him, but here he is with two dozen red roses. He crosses the road to get to me and kisses me in front of everyone, not giving a shit who is watching.
“For you,” he says, handing me the roses. He carries my bag for me, then walks with me to the car.
“Is this your car?” I ask him once we’re settled in.
“We have a few for all of us to use,” he explains, eyes not leaving me, like he’s hungry for just the sight of me. “So we just use whichever is available. Sometimes the motorcycles aren’t convenient when you need to get shit done.”
“Like pick up your girlfriend with your hands full of roses?” I ask, as he reaches his right hand over to rest on my thigh.
“Exactly like that.”
Saying boyfriend and girlfriend sounds so young, and I wonder if it sounds weird for him. What else can I say? Partner? I feel like that’s more for de facto relationships. I’ll just say he’s my man. That sounds better.
“I’m so fuckin’ happy you’re coming back home,” he says to me, sighing in contentment. “It was such a shitty feeling when you left like that, and I thought you’d never come back.”
“I know the MC is everything to you,” I say to him, looking out the window. “And I guess before everything happened, I was starting to love everything about it, too.”
“Maybe you can again,” he says, squeezing my thigh. “After you give your dad hell, just like you gave me.”
“You got it easy,” I tell him, laughing.
“I know,” he says, sounding sincere.
He parks the car and is checking his phone while I get out and look at the clubhouse, at those familiar entrance doors that chan
ged my life the second I walked through them. Ace then gets out and grabs my bag, and I hold my roses to my chest, as if they can protect me from facing everyone again, after they knew just how upset I was. I wonder if the men are going to act differently toward me. Will Dad embrace me, or will he be a little unsure and standoffish?
Fuck.
I hope it’s not too awkward.
Ace opens the door for me and I step inside, bracing myself for their reaction.
I can do this.
28
Welcome home, Erin!” everyone yells out, making me jump and almost drop my roses.
“Holy crap,” I whisper, taking in the balloons, the decorations, and the whole MC gathered together to surprise me.
There’s a sign that reads, WELCOME HOME, ERIN. SORRY WE WERE ASSHOLES.
Dad stands in the middle, a sad smile playing on his lips. I step to him first and give him a hug, wanting to show my respect to not only the president but also my father. We have a lot to talk about, and I will be giving him a piece of my mind, but that will be in private.
“Thank you for coming back,” he says to me, tone gruff. “I hope you don’t mind, the men wanted to throw a party for you.”
“I always love a good party,” I say to him, running to Knuckles when I see him standing in the corner.
I give him the biggest hug. “Did you miss me?”
“No, did you miss me?” he replies, squeezing me so hard I can barely breathe.
“Not even a little bit.”
We share a grin.
“Place has been boring without you, Trouble,” he says quietly, for only me to hear.
“What? You mean no one is trying to kill anyone else?”
He barks out a laugh. “Nope. It’s been quiet as hell. I’m glad to have you back.”
“Glad to be back,” I say, giving him a kiss on his bearded cheek.
Ace comes and grabs me around the waist, and it’s so weird being able to be affectionate with him in front of the MC now.
It’s a really good feeling.
Ace of Hearts (The Cursed Ravens MC Series Book 1) Page 17
