by Cin Medley
I smiled, I wanted to end that fucker sitting there looking so smug. “Great, do you have a time?”
“Why don’t I meet you at Oak Street beach around noon. We can see where it goes from there.” Smiling she said, “Good night Paul.”
I watched her turn and walk back to her table. Fuck me! She has the perfect heart shaped ass. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ass so perfect. I nodded to her date as I made my way back to my table. I couldn’t tell you what the hell I ate or what I talked about. She had clouded my brain. I didn’t want that fucking man to touch her, and he was constantly touching her.
I listened to them laugh and giggle. When they got up to leave I had to physically force myself to stay in my seat. When they walked out, I texted Max and had him send a guy to her house. I wanted to know if he stayed over.
“Victoria,” the voice in my ear said. “You did good. I’m rather impressed that you set the ground rules.”
“I told you, no one touches me. If you want me to do this, I do it on my terms. I am not for sale.”
“All right, you get some sleep. Keep the ear piece, for Saturday.”
Laughing I said, “I don’t think so. My terms. I do not want you in my ear.”
Jacob walked me to my apartment. He came in for a minute while I gave him the ear piece. “You going to be all right?” He asked.
“I’m fine, and thank you for doing this.”
He smiled a weird smile, “It was my pleasure. I look forward to future dates.”
I laughed, “If this plan works, there won’t be any more dates. Good night Jacob.”
He put his hand on the handle and paused. “Victoria,” he whispered.
“Sue, my name is Sue, and you would be wise to remember that. If you accidently blow my cover, I’ll kill you myself. I want this done, I want my life back. Do you get that?”
“Sorry, yes I got it.”
He opened the door and turned around to say something. “Good night Jacob.” I said as I was closing the door.
“Good night, Sue.”
Chapter Five
Friday came and went with no interruptions from Paul. I was given the new accounts. I couldn’t help but notice things weren’t right. I filed them into my brain for my report. The day blew by. It usually does when I am into the job. Before I knew it, it was seven at night. Mr. Simon my boss was the only one still in the office when I was leaving. I noted that as well.
My night was dreamless, but I woke up feeling a bit panicked. I took a shower and became Sue Costello. I put my hair back in a ponytail. I loved these wigs, they are made of real hair and you can’t even tell they are fake. I dressed in a pair of jeans with a peach tank top and tennis shoes. Grabbing my jacket and my smaller purse which I crossed over my body, I headed out to the beach.
Taking off my shoes I headed towards the water. For a beautiful Saturday afternoon, it wasn’t crowded yet. I found a place to sit and wait. I didn’t really like having idle time on my hands. My mind wanders too much, wanders back to the life I had before the train wreck took my life away. If this man was the reason, I was going find the greatest of joy slitting his fucking throat.
My phone buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out. The text had one word, Contact. I quickly erased it and stood up, putting my hands in my pocket. I felt him as he walked up, which bothered me. I only ever felt Steven like this and our bodies were so in tune with each other. I don’t want this man to affect me like this. I want him to be the horrible monster I know him to be.
When I woke up I felt different. I felt alive. I am going to make this woman want to spend time with me. I showered and shaved. As I was in my closet, I had to laugh, what the hell should I wear? I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous about a date before.
Opening my drawers, I found a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. As I got dressed, it dawned on me. I haven’t worn clothes like this in probably twenty years. I felt like a teenager. I found an old pair of tennis shoes, grabbed my jacket and headed out.
“Mr. Simon,” Max said as he opened the car door.
“Max, take the day off. I’m taking a cab.” I smiled at him.
“But…sir.”
“I’ll be fine. Go enjoy some deserved time off.” I turned and walked down the street grabbing a cab I headed to the beach. As I walked onto the sand, I bent and took off my shoes and socks. I saw her sitting on the sand and I headed towards her. She stood, her hands going to her front pockets, pulling her jeans even tighter across her ass. The gap between her legs bought my cock to an instant erection. I was happy that I put on a longer tee shirt to cover myself.
Walking up to her, I had to put my hand in my pocket to stop myself from touching her. “Good afternoon Miss Costello.”
She laughed, “My name is Sue, and good afternoon.”
“Is it Sue or Susan?”
“It’s actually Suzanne, but no one calls me that.”
Looking at her, I said. “Would you mind if I called you Suzanne. It’s a very beautiful name, and I really don’t want to be like everyone else.”
“That’s fine. Would you like to walk?” She turned around. “What no goons?”
I laughed, “They are all terrified you are going to beat their asses.”
She giggled, god did it sound like music to me. “As they should be.”
“No, but in all seriousness, I’m just Paul today. No goons, no car, no suit. Just me.”
“Hmmm, why would you try and be someone you’re not?” She said as she started walking down the beach.
“All those things are not me. This is me, or as close to me as I can get, or that my life will allow me to be. Is this you?” My hand motioned up and down her body.
Smiling she said, “Not really. I’m more a countryside girl. I love working in the garden and just enjoying a laid back lifestyle. I suppose I got that from my parents. My mom was always in the garden. I find it very calming. It’s such a contrast from the city.”
She is sharing part of her life with me. I should do the same. “My mother loved her garden, but I am thinking hers was more on a grandiose scale.”
She raised her eyebrows, “Please don’t tell me that you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.”
I laughed, “My parents worked hard for what they had. Not a silver spoon, but a comfortable life. One that afforded my mother to stay home and raise us.” I spied a little food truck. “Would you like something to eat?”
She turned her head looking at the truck, her face lit up, “I would love a hotdog.”
“Well then let’s have hotdogs.” I haven’t had a hotdog in a very long time. But hey this was her day, she needed to see the real me and once upon a time I loved hotdogs. I’ve grown into a very shallow, very selfish, very arrogant man, and that is not the kind of man she wants. It feels good stepping outside of the world I had built. I am being reminded every minute I am with her, that life is so much more than what I have made it. Sylvia had a similar effect on me. Looking at Suzanne, I could very much imagine a life outside of this city with her. No work, just enjoying her company.
We got our hotdogs and lemonade and found a place on the beach to sit and eat them. We chatted a bit more about our parents and how the way our lives were a bit similar. When we finished, as we were walking to the garbage I couldn’t resist. “Would you be interested in going to Navy Pier?”
She turned to look at me, her eyes wide and full of life, her smile touched her eyes. “Are you kidding me? I would love it. But only if you ride the rides with me.”
I laughed, “Deal.” We grabbed a cab and headed that way. Looking at her, she is so beautiful when she relaxes. I can’t help but wonder if this was the real woman she was. Her head turned, our eyes locking.
“You’re staring at me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, “You’re very beautiful.”
Shaking her head, “Don’t ruin this Paul. It’s supposed to be us getting to know one another. Please, I already told you, I am unava
ilable to you. You are my boss, the only reason I am here is because I love my job, and I think it would be easier to do it, if I didn’t hate you. If you didn’t disgust me. You want one thing from me, and I cannot be bought or owned. Either we are friends or we are nothing.”
She could have ripped my heart out, but she is right. It’s the reason we are here. I can’t take this someplace else. Not yet anyway. “We are friends. I am accepting what you are offering me. I asked for the opportunity to get to know you and for you to get to know me, and you have been gracious enough to give it to me. So, friends.” The cab stopped, I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “We’re here, you ready for this?”
Her smile took my breath away, “So ready.” She jumped out of the cab, while I paid the driver. This was one of those times when you hold your girlfriend’s hand. I so want to touch her, to share this with her on a level beyond friends. But I can’t, I have to do this slowly, not my alter ego asshole persona. The more time I spend with her, the more time I want to spend with her. She is so beautiful, her smile is so warm, so real.
Being with him wasn’t awkward like I thought it would be. I am finding myself feeling relaxed. My laughter isn’t forced with him. He’s funny and charming. But I can see the glint of desire in his eyes. He has made no attempt to touch me. When I catch him looking at me, I can see the warmth in his eyes. I feel my body react to him.
Riding the rides was fun, we shared some serious laughter. We played some games in the arcade, he won me a little stuffed penguin. We had snow cones and walked along the pier. All in all, we had a lovely day. More than once I felt myself drawn to him, which confused me and pissed me off all at the same time. As we got ready to leave, I could tell he was feeling off.
“Suzanne, I had a lovely day.”
Smiling at him, because I was feeling good. “It was a wonderful day. Thank you, Paul, for being real. At least I hope you were being real.”
He laughed, “I don’t think I’ve been this real in a very long time. So, I need to thank you for making me see how much of an arrogant asshole I really am in this life. I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner? I know a place that you wouldn’t expect me to know that has great burgers.”
I could see in his eyes that he was being sincere. “I would love to have a burger with you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
We walked out to the street and grabbed a cab. As we drove I realized where we were going. I felt myself start to panic. I needed to not go here. Shit! I hit the glass between us and the driver, “Please pull over.” I needed to get the hell out of here.
“What’s the matter?” He asked.
Shaking my head, the driver pulled over. “I need to go.” Opening the door, I jumped out and took off running in the opposite direction. There was no way I could go to the restaurant. Jerry would recognize me, and my cover would be blown. I just kept running. I can’t do this. I can’t allow this man to get close to me. He could be Andy Marciano, just the fact that he knows the bar, is implication enough. I feel too comfortable around him. I can’t have feelings for him. I love Steven. I saw a cab and jumped in it. Giving him my address, I sank down in the seat trying to calm myself down. I needed a good cover story for the way I just acted.
Pulling out my phone, I sent a message. Help
As I walked into my building I saw Jacob standing by the elevators. I let out the breath I was holding. I felt my nerves relax. When Jacob turned and walked away I felt him.
“Suzanne,” he whispered.
He was inches from me. I closed my eyes. “I can’t.”
“Please turn around and look at me. What happened?” He said softly.
“Paul, I…I can’t. I just can’t. It’s too much.”
“What’s too much?”
I didn’t mean to do it and I can’t explain why I did it, but I was freaking out. I had no back story for my actions, but my hand slowly moved behind me, gently I touched his fingers. He closed his hand around mine. The current that flowed through my fingers up my arm, freaked me out. “I can’t,” I whispered and stepped forward away from him. He didn’t pull me back. As our hands lost contact, so did the feeling. I kept walking, the elevator doors opened and I walked in.
When I turned to push the button to my floor I looked up. He was just standing there looking at his hand. Slowly he raised his head to look at me. His face looked as stunned as I felt. The door closed and I fell back against the wall.
This was bad, this was way bad. I couldn’t do this. He could be, hell who am I fucking kidding he very well may be Andy Marciano. Why of all the places in this city did he have to take me there? Did he know who I was? Was this his way of calling me out? The doors opened and Jacob was standing at the end of the hall. He saw me walk out of the elevator and he met me at my door.
Once inside, he handed me my ear piece. “Thank you. Please excuse me.” I opened the door so he could leave.
I put the ear piece in my ear and headed to the bathroom, turning on the shower. “I need help.”
“Tell me what happened.”
I filled the voice in on what took place. “This doesn’t make any sense. Why of all the dive joints in this fucking city did he take me to that one? Could he know who I am? Is he Marciano? Tell me what you know?”
After an hour-long conversation, I was convinced he didn’t know who I was. But I sure did have more information on him than I cared to have.
“I need time. I’ll get in touch with you when I figure this out. Thank you for your help.” I said to the voice. I took the ear piece out and went to the door. When I opened it, Jacob was standing there, he came in and I gave him the ear piece.
“Are you all right?” He asked.
“I will be, thank you for coming.”
“Sue, we are getting closer to the end.”
“Not close enough. Listen Jacob, I need some time to myself so if you’ll excuse me.”
“Sure,” he turned and opened the door. My head was down. I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. “What the hell are you doing here?” He snapped.
“I’m here to see Suzanne,” he looked at me as I picked my head up. “Are you all right?”
I nodded and then shook my head. “Jacob, it’s fine. Please, I just need some time.”
He played his part well, turning he said to me in a very soft voice. “Sue, I want this between us. Believe me.”
I nodded, and watched as he turned and walked out. I gave him a longing look. Paul ate it up.
“What happened, today?” He asked softly.
I just shook my head. “I can’t do this.”
He stepped forward, bringing his hand up to my face, wrapping his fingers around my neck. “I know I promised, but I can’t stop myself.”
His mouth slowly and gently covered mine. I was terrified, but I couldn’t stop myself. Steven never kissed me like this. His tongue gently swiping mine. When he realized I wasn’t pulling away and I wasn’t going to hit him, his other hand gently landed on my hip as he moved closer deepening the kiss.
Slowly he ended the kiss, “Jesus,” he whispered on my lips.
“Please, Paul. I can’t do this.” I said as I stepped back from him. He let me go.
“Suzanne.”
I shook my head. “Please, I just need to be alone.”
He nodded and reached for the door, “Thank you for a beautiful day. Thank you for reminding me that life is good.” He smiled at me and walked out the door.
My hand came up to my lips and the tears fell.
I just stood there in her hallway. My mind is numb and I think I’m in shock. What the hell was that? I looked at her door. “Jesus,” I whispered. Even with my wife I’ve never felt like that. It took me a few minutes to get my bearings. As I slowly moved down the hall to the elevator, I couldn’t calm down.
I felt like I was walking on air. What the fuck is happening? I made it to my car. Max asked if I was all right. Shaking my head, I simply said, “No, and I don’t think
I am ever going to be all right again. Take me home.”
The tears just came as I sunk to the floor. I couldn’t stop them. How could I feel like this? The man could be a murderer. I know for a fact that he is shady and has his hand in many pots, many illegal pots. What was happening to me? I lay on the floor crying until I fell asleep.
My phone buzzing in my purse strapped to my body woke me up. Without opening my eyes, I reached in grabbing it I didn’t even look at the call ID. “Hello,” it was just a whisper. I don’t think I could get my voice to go any higher.
“Hi,” I heard his deep baritone voice on the other end. “I…ah…I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
I felt the tears well up in my eyes. “I’m not sure,” I whispered.
“I know what you mean. I’ve been sitting in this chair since I got home.”
“I’ve been lying on the floor since you left,” I whispered.
“Suzanne,” he said breathlessly.
“I know.”
“Can I see you again?”
“Is that really a good idea?” I’m not sure I could handle seeing him again.
“I’m not sure.”
“Maybe we should just not…I don’t know.” The tears were falling again. I love Steven, I can’t possible have feelings for this man.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispered. How did he know I was crying? The silence was long while I tried to reign in my tears. “Hey,” he said softly. “We didn’t get have dinner, do you like Chinese?”
“Yes,” I said as steadily as I could manage.
“How about I pick some up and come over. We can talk about this…whatever this is?” He said cautiously.
I wanted to say no, but my head was nodding yes. I needed to say no, he was dangerous. “Okay,” I whispered.
“Is there anything you like?” I could hear him moving around.
