by Sadie Grubor
Back at the penthouse, Kel sits at the dining table with the boys doing homework.
"Hey," he greets, looking up from some brochures.
I walk toward them and kiss Lucas on the top of his head.
"What are those?" I ask Kel before kissing Sean's head.
"Nothing."
He pushes them into a pile, but I catch the words on one.
"Are those college brochures?" I know my question sounds way too excited, but I can't control myself.
"I'm just looking at them," he rushes to explain. "Don't get worked up."
Biting my lip, I breathe through my nose, trying to calm the thrill coursing through my veins.
"I won't." I fail at sounding casual.
"I told you she'd act like this," Kel says to Jackson.
I twist to see Jackson give a one shoulder shrug before saying, "Is it really such a bad thing?"
"No," Kel sighs.
"You did this?" I ask Jackson.
"Your brother did it," he responds, flipping through the mail on the counter. "It was his decision to make."
"Can we have pizza?" Lucas asks, looking up from his homework.
"Again? We eat pizza all the time." I purse my lips.
"Chinese?" Sean suggests.
"You know how to win me over." I ruffle Sean's hair.
"We should go out to eat," Jackson announces, lifting a large manila envelope in the air.
"What's that?" Lucas asks.
Jackson rips open the end, pulls out a stack of papers, flips through them, and then presents one page with a seal on it.
"This makes Sean an official member of the Campbell/Shaw household."
All eyes turn to Sean, who drops his pencil and visibly swallows.
"Those papers mean I can stay?" he asks, a bit of sadness in his voice.
Pulling out a chair, I sit next to him and nod.
"Yes."
"What about Grandma?" Tears form in his eyes.
Jackson comes to his side, offering him the paper. He takes it.
"Sean," Jackson starts, "listen, your grandma isn’t going to be able to take care of you anymore. She's gotta stay in a place where people can help take care of her."
"The hospital?" Sean asks, looking up from the paper.
"For now," Jackson answers. "But we're looking for a safe place for her to move into where you can visit her anytime you want."
Sean's eyes brighten a little, the guilt he must have felt dissolving a smidge.
"Really?" Hope returns to his face.
"Really," I respond. "We'll make sure she's in a place close to where we live."
Sean launches out of his chair and into my arms. The force scoots my chair back an inch.
"I've dreamed about a mom like you," he says, throat clogged with tears. "I love Grandma, but she's not a mom, ya know?"
Unable to fight my tears, I let them fall and nod. "I know."
"Time to celebrate!" Lucas exclaims, pushing his chair back and hugging his best friend. "We're like real brothers now."
More tears streak my cheeks and Jackson wipes them away.
Jesus, this man twists my insides.
"You stay'n in my kitchen?" Jackson asks, his eyes burning with desire.
I nod. "I'm staying in your kitchen."
His knees come to the floor in front of me before his lips press to mine.
"Gross." Lucas fakes a gag.
Jackson pulls away, one hand cupping my face.
"You won't think so in about five years, my man."
"No way, not me," he argues.
"What about Mia?" Sean sings her name and makes kissing noises before rushing away from Lucas.
"Shut up." He chases after him. "You'll pay for that."
"You sure you're ready for that?" I ask, motioning to the boys with my head.
"Baby, I don't think you realize this just yet, so I'm going to help you out," he says, leaning in closer. "I wasn't ready for you when you stepped on stage at Lux. I wasn't ready to feel more at home and relaxed in your tiny ass apartment than I do in my Seattle house. And I sure as hell wasn't ready for this crazy little family you come with, but…" his mouth comes so close to mine, I feel his breath, "even when it was the last fucking thing I wanted a few months ago, I'm damn ready to make you fall for me the way I'm falling for you, snake charmer."
Oh. My. God. Falling for me?
For a moment, I swear my heart completely stops. And the ensuing heavy thud is an acceptance. The acceptance of a new dream—a dream I would never dared believe was possible.
Our mouths meet and our tongues dance seductively, but the kiss ends too soon.
"Now, let's feed the natives and get them to bed so I can feast on something more delicious."
His eyes roam over my body and I shiver.
"You don't have to make me," I whisper.
The right side of his lip curls.
"Good to fucking know, baby."
Things may be fast, may be too good, but we can handle whatever comes. The truth is I can fall in love with this man. I'm on my way there now.
Epilogue
Jackson
1 ½ Months later…
"Thank Christ tomorrow tonight is the end of this damn show," I exclaim, entering the master bedroom.
It took Julia two weeks to find multiple listings in L.A. and less than two days for me to convince Liza on a three bedroom condo in Brentwood. She fell in love with the wood laminate flooring, which the boys couldn't destroy as quickly as real hardwood, designer stone work, carved sinks, and Viking appliances. The look on her face gave away her excitement and appreciation for the place. The price tag on the place, however, nearly gave her a panic attack.
The $1.8 million was actually an excellent deal on the ready-to-move-in, partially furnished home. It took some convincing and perspective by comparing the cost to the Seattle house. I hadn't purchased the Seattle house alone, of course, but I did buy out the rest of the band as they moved on with their lives. And it had been on the market during my time with Laney, but now I'm glad to have it as a place to go when I need to be in Seattle.
And, I suppose, Sean's grandmother being transferred to an assisted living home only a ten-minute walk away and the private school Luke and Sean will attend next year swayed Liza.
Besides, the Brentwood condo at Las Ventanas is a gated community and has fifteen-foot ceilings. Come on, how many places have ceilings high enough I can't touch them or have to duck through a fucking arch to get into the next room. Not to mention the wall-length shower with a built-in tile bench. Definitely an excellent feature when my girl is lucky to top off at five-foot-six barefoot in said shower. Christening the shower is definitely the newest addition to my highlight reel.
"How did rehearsal go with your brother?" Liza steps from the bathroom, twisting her hair on top of her head.
"Good," I answer, hopping onto the bed.
Placing my hands behind my head, I watch her secure the messy bun on her way to the walk-in closet.
"I have more good news."
She reappears with the worn bag she won't let me replace and the new garment bag I bought a week ago.
"You're skipping the photo shoot to spend the night naked with me?" I grin.
Tilting her head, she smiles.
"No, I'm not pregnant." Her smile grows.
A part of me feels the loss of the possibility. It's a part of me I hadn't realized was so ready for a baby with Liza.
Watching my grin fade away, her brow furrows. "You aren't happy about this."
It's not a question.
Inhaling deeply, I take one hand from behind my head and reach out to her. I exhale when she moves without hesitation.
Pulling her onto the bed next to me, I kiss her cheek.
"Jackson?" The trepidation in her question makes me feel like shit.
"It's all good, baby."
Placing my fingers under her chin, I lift her face to mine.
"I think I got a bit too used to
the idea of being a dad."
Her eyes widen as a flurry of different emotions fly across her face.
"I'm sorry," she chokes.
"Hey, don't be sorry."
I touch my lips to hers briefly and pull away.
"It's definitely for the best."
Smiling, I move my hand to the side of her face and circle her cheek with my thumb.
"We need time to be just you and me," I say, but then continue, "and Luke, Sean, and—”
"I get it," she laughs.
Pressing my lips back to hers, I roll so she's beneath me.
"We should celebrate," I pant against her mouth, licking her bottom lip.
"Um…no," she quickly responds. "I just told you I'm not pregnant."
She pushes on my chest to stop my tongue’s assault.
"That means I just started my period."
"I don't care." I shrug. "We can take this to the shower."
"You and the damn shower," she giggles, shaking her head. "I swear, it's the only reason you bought this place."
"We bought this place," I correct.
Growing more serious, I capture her eyes with mine. "I'm not gonna have this discussion again. It's all of ours. You got that?"
She nods, swallowing.
"I need to hear you say you got it, Liza."
"I’ve got it, Jackson," she whispers, biting her lip.
"Good." I give a nod and then dip my face close. "Now, back to naked celebrating."
"You're incorrigible," she says with an exaggerated sigh.
"Does that mean horny?" I purse my lips.
She smacks my chest and laughs.
"Come on, it's summer!" Luke begs Liza.
She's tough as shit. I would've given in three pleases ago.
"You have until midnight, Lucas." Liza crosses her arms over her chest.
It does wonders putting them on display. She can't be serious about no sex during her period. This isn't fucking medieval times. People fuck through this shit all the time.
"You're ruining everything," Luke growls. "Blaze and Colton are going to think I'm a baby."
"Their mom and I already spoke. She laid the rules down for them as well," Liza says through clenched teeth.
"Great," Luke snaps, throwing his hands in the air. "Now they've told everyone else about my bedtime."
Liza rolls her eyes, turning away from him to address Julia.
"Video games off by midnight. I don't care if they watch a movie, but it's lights out and down for the night."
"Understood," Julia responds, agreeing to the terms.
Luke growls again, stomping up the stairs.
Liza and Julia aren't best friends by any stretch of the imagination, but she's worked overtime to prove herself to Liza. The atonement was enough for Liza not to say anything when I decided to hire Julia full-time as a personal assistant. In fact, she agrees Julia is great at her job. Her job doesn't typically include watching the boys, but tonight Kel is helping Sid with her equipment for the photo shoot. We also haven't had time to talk about a sitter/nanny situation further than mentioning the thought.
Luke's door slams shut—hard.
Liza fists her hands in frustration.
"I’ve got this," I blurt. Putting my hands out, I push off the couch in the living room and walk to the stairs.
"You don't have—”
"It's cool."
I slap her ass on my way by her and she squeals.
"You'll just owe me later."
"I could just go beat him myself," she replies.
Giving her a look that feigns horror, I put my hand on my chest, and say, "You will not beat my favorite kid."
Smiling, she shakes her head and turns back to Julia. I finish the climb.
"Open up," I command in a casual tone, knocking on the wooden door.
The door creeps open, Sean standing there with his brow furrowed.
Sean's been so thankful and appreciative, but the darn kid is almost terrified to show any unhappiness or emotion. No matter what we say, he just swallows it down. I'm afraid one day he's going to explode.
I should mention having him talk to Dr. J. Note to self: talk to Liza about it.
Luke lies on his top bunk. He pulls the pillow off his face and sighs when he looks at me.
"So, she sent you to yell at me?" There's a bit of fear in his eyes.
Sitting on the wooden desk in their room, I cross my arms over my chest.
"When have I ever yelled at you?" I ask.
"Never," he mumbles, sitting up and dangling his legs off the edge.
Sean quietly sits on his bottom bunk.
"Exactly," I state. "So, I get you’re pissed."
His eyes rise from the floor to my face.
"I was a kid too and it sucks to have a curfew or bedtime, but she's the mom." I shrug.
"I know," he grumbles.
"What time are the twins…what's their names?" I ask, forgetting the two boys Luke and Sean met after we moved in.
"Blaze and Colton," Sean answers.
"Thank you. So, what time are Blaze and Colton coming over?"
Uncrossing my arms, I plant my hands on the desk on either side of me.
"In an hour," Luke mumbles.
Glancing at the Star Wars clock on the wall, I note the time and look back at Luke.
"Luke, my man," I draw, "that's going to be like six hours of video games. You really getting pissed about that?"
"It's embarrassing, Jack," Luke cries, throwing himself back on the bed.
"I feel ya," I concede, "but I also think six hours of video games and then movies to go to sleep is a pretty kick ass deal."
I shift my focus to Sean. Pushing away from the desk, I walk over and crouch in front of him.
"What do you think? You embarrassed?"
Sean's eyes widen and he gives a quick shake of his head.
"So, you think it's a fair deal?"
He nods.
I sigh and push off the desk.
"Sean, buddy, tell me what's on your mind."
His eyes shift to Luke's feet dangling next to him and back to my face.
"Come on, you have to think something," I press.
"He thinks I'm being a jerk to Mom," Luke sighs, still thrown back on the bed.
My eyes don't leave Sean.
"That so?"
Sean starts to nod.
"Use your words, dude."
The look I give stops his nodding.
"I…I think six hours is cool," he whispers.
"But?" I press further, feeling something's unsaid.
"But…" he pauses, taking a breath, "it's embarrassing that she called their mom."
"Hah!" I exclaim, causing Sean to jump. "I knew you could do it."
Giving him an easy punch to the arm, he matches my grin with one of his own.
Straightening to my full height, I step back from the bunk beds.
"I agree, calling their mom was kind of shitty. I'll talk to your mom about it, but remember, that doesn't mean anything will change. She's the boss, my boys."
They nod, half smiling.
"Do me a favor, Luke, and apologize to your mom for the attitude. Okay?"
Our eyes meet and for a moment, he looks thoughtful.
"Good talk. I'll let myself out." Pointing to the door, I spin.
"Hey, Jack?" Luke's call turns me back around.
"Yeah, man?"
"I don't know much about dads, but I think you make a pretty good one," Luke states, and Sean nods.
The air leaves my body, an ache forms like I'm taking double punches to my chest, and all I can do is walk out of the room. I close the door and press my back against the wall, breathing deeply.
He just cracked open my chest, grabbed my heart, and took it. The little fucker stole my heart just like his mother.
Finally able to move again, I stride down the stairs and find Liza at the kitchen bar going through her bag.
"Have you seen my—?"
I
grab and spin her around, lifting and planting her ass on the bar.
"What's wrong?" she asks, worry lining her face. "Did Lucas—?"
Putting my hand over her mouth, I take a deep breath, collect my thoughts, and launch everything at her.
"You know those boys are my favorite little fuckers."
She pulls at my hand. I know it's to protest the way I call them little fuckers, but that will have to wait.
"Let me finish," I bark, causing her to still and drop her hands.
Releasing her mouth, I press my palms on the counter on either side of her and push between her legs.
"They just twisted me inside out like a fucking girl losing her virginity on prom night."
She opens her mouth, but the look I give silences her.
"I didn't ask to love you, but I do. I didn't ask for a premade family, but I got one. I didn't plan to feel like this."
Fear flashes in her eyes and tears start to pool.
Shaking my head, I continue, "Don't. You're reading me wrong, baby."
Palming each side of her head, I hold her face inches from mine.
"I thought I knew love, knew I'd found the one before, but I didn't know shit."
Emotion bubbles up and out of me in a harsh laugh.
"I fucking love you, those two boys, you're crazy ass cousin, and…well, I'm cool with your brother. Declaring love for him would be fucking creepy as hell, but you get what I'm say'n."
Tears spill from her wide eyes and I wipe them away with my thumbs.
"I fucking love it, Liza. Every goddamn thing about you and all this, I love it."
Leaning forward, I crush my lips to hers in a bruising kiss. Her hands capture my wrists and hold.
Pulling back, I smile down at her.
"And you may not be pregnant now, but you can guaran-fucking-tee it won't take me long to correct that shit."
Her look of surprise morphs to shock, and she asks, "What the hell happened?"
"A fucking revelation, baby."
Liza
Lux Hedonica is home. Even with the new signage to compliment the remodeled front of the building, the inside is still where I belong. The updated furniture only compliments the vintage wall mirrors and bar. Red treats the place like it's his baby, which I completely respect and appreciate. The man may look like he belongs on a tour bus bouncing unwanted guests, but he has a mind for business. And having not been on tour for years, since the end of Corrosive Velocity, he's put his know-how into multiple thriving businesses.
