“Then there’s the meat,” Robby says. “McDonaldland makes it seem as if all of their meat comes from the nu-cow farms, but it doesn’t. Do you think that small herd of cattle could feed all of McDonaldland? The majority of their meat comes from us.”
“This place raises cattle?” I ask.
“Not exactly,” Robby says.
When I enter the plant, I see a group of mutants wheeling a giant wolf into a cage. It is the curly haired wolf, Tessa, that almost ate me the other day. They are pulling her by large chains attached to a forklift. Her mouth is bound with a metal harness. She growls deeply as they drag her into the cage.
“What is the wolf doing here?” I ask Robby.
“That’s our cattle.”
He takes me through the plant and shows me cages and cages of giant wolves. Only, the majority of them don’t have heads.
“We call them nu-wolves,” he says.
He explains to me how McDonaldland asked the Outlanders to raise cattle to supply them with meat, as well as hunt and kill the giant wolves that plague the wasteland. But after a couple years of killing wolves, Mayor McCheese decided that he didn’t want all that wolf meat going to waste. He began selling the McDonaldlandians the meat of the wolves they had killed, without telling them where the meat had come from. The Outlanders did raise cattle as well for a while, but then Mayor McCheese realized it was easier to sell them wolf meat.
The Mayor had an idea. He would not just kill the wolves in the wild. He would capture them, cut their heads off and implant chips in their bodies similar to those of nu-cows, then he could grow them even larger so that they would produce more meat.
“That’s like cannibalism,” I tell him. “They used to be women.”
“Used to, yeah,” he says. “But then they became animals and animals are used for meat.”
I wonder if that’s how the parasites are getting back into the McDonald’s meat. The female parasites infect the women and turn them into enormous predators. The male parasites infect the males, turning them into easy prey. When the men are eaten by the women, the parasites are able to develop into maturity. They mate and lay their eggs. Then the giant wolves are turned into meat and eaten by the McDonaldlandians, who ingest the parasite eggs. I’m not sure if this works out for sure, but it sounds a bit plausible. I wish Krall were here.
Robby takes me into another warehouse twice the size as the previous one. The cages in here are much larger than the others. Inside, there are giant wolves without heads lying on the cement floor, hooked up to feeding tubes. These are much larger than any of the wolves in the wild. While the wild wolves get to be as big as buses, these wolves are as big as houses. They are just enormous blobs of furry meat.
“It’s horrific,” I tell him.
“You’ll have nightmares about it for weeks,” he says. “I promise you.”
“How do they even get that big?”
“Well, sex, of course,” Robby says. “The more they have sex, the bigger they get. They are having orgasms all day long. They are hooked up to machines that masturbate them nonstop. It actually doesn’t take them that long to get this big. That wolf we just brought in today will probably grow to be big enough to be chopped up into burgers within just a few weeks.”
My jaw goes slack.
“So everyone in McDonaldland is eating this stuff?”
“Everyone.”
“So I’ve been eating the flesh of women all this time, perhaps even people I used to know?”
“Basically, yeah,” he says. “You’ve probably been eating them your entire life. But don’t feel so bad about it. These wolves eat men every day. All we’re doing is eating them back.”
“I want to show you Kroger the Mighty,” Robby says, as he brings me into another large warehouse. This one has only a single cage.
“Masturbation isn’t as effective at growing the wolves as actual intercourse with males,” he tells me. “We don’t know why, but real sex just creates a bigger transformation. That’s why we have Kroger.”
Inside of the one large cage, there is an enormous wolf. It is bigger than any of the wolves in the previous room. While the others are as big as houses, this one is as big as an apartment building. It is fucking one of the headless wolves with a penis the size of twenty men.
“It’s a male wolf?” I ask. “I thought only women could turn into wolves.”
“Kroger the Mighty isn’t exactly a man,” he says. “It’s a hermaphrodite.”
The giant wolf has eight extra pairs of limbs. The hermaphrodite isn’t just infected with the female parasite that turns it into a wolf, it also has the male parasite that causes it to grow multiple limbs. Even though it is covered in hair, the eight extra limbs growing down its torso makes it look like some kind of insect.
We stand there, listening to the thunderous moans as the beast fucks the blob of hairy meat. When it orgasms the creature roars and grows even larger. The headless beast beneath it also grows significantly larger.
“Feeding time,” says a voice behind us.
A group of mutant soldiers are hauling a group of prisoners to the cage. The mutant prisoners are screaming and begging to be freed. Among the prisoners, there is a green wolf girl. It is Venus. She is being carried on a stretcher by two soldiers. She is mumbling deliriously and barely able to move. All of her fur is now so coated in blood that there is more red than green on her body.
“What are they doing?” I ask.
They open the cage and force the prisoners inside.
“Remember when the Mayor said if you do not obey, you will be wolf food?”
I nod.
“What he meant was, if you don’t do what he tells you he’s going to feed you to Kroger.”
When the giant hermaphrodite wolf sees the people inside of the cage, it casually snatches them up and swallows them whole. The people are so small compared to Kroger that they are but small bites of food. I watch Venus lying half dead on the floor of the cage. She doesn’t resist in the slightest as the wolf licks her up into its mouth like a little green jelly bean. Her face is one of somber defeat as she slides down its tongue into its throat.
“Is that what will happen to all the women prisoners?” I ask Robby.
“No, just the wounded ones are fed to Kroger,” he says. “The Outlanders have uses for the others.”
Then Robby tells me about what fate has in store for Nova. He says that while many of their wolves are caught in the wild, they find it safer and easier to raise meat if they capture them while they’re still in human form.
Whenever the Outlanders capture wolf women, they are restrained and put in cages. Then, one at a time, the mutant men rape them. They rape them until they completely turn. Then their heads are cut off and they become nu-wolves, where they will be grown as big as possible until they are chopped up into meat.
He also said that women who break sex laws in McDonaldland are no longer released into the wild. The Fry Guys don’t want them joining the Warriors, because that would only create more enemies for them. So, just this past year, the Fry Guys started releasing women to the Outlanders. The Fry Guys don’t know the fate of the women. They assume they will be used as slave labor or perhaps for sex. But the women now released from McDonaldland are only destined to become food.
I panic. The thought of Nova being raped by mutants, turned into a giant wolf and processed as food for McDonaldland is the most unsettling thing I’ve ever imagined. I pull Robby’s ear to my mouth and whisper, “I need to talk to you. In private.”
Robby nods his head and takes me out of the warehouse. As we pass Kroger’s cage, the sound of gurgling mixed with muffled cries issues from the creature’s belly as the prisoners are being digested alive. He takes me into a walk-in refrigerator filled with boxes, probably containing packaged meat.
I say to him, “One of the women captured with me is Nova. She was my girlfriend years ago, before we met. I can’t let her be raped and turned into one of those headless mo
untains of meat out there. I’ve got to get her out of here.”
Robby’s face becomes cold. He just stares at me for a few minutes.
“Tell me the truth,” he says. “Were you one of the men who fired on Outlanders last night to save a bunch of Bitches?”
I take a couple minutes before considering my answer, but decide to go with the truth. “Yes, I did.”
He deeply exhales at me. I don’t care if he was my friend in McDonaldland. If he plans on turning me in I won’t hesitate to kill him with my bare hands before he even leaves this room, and then feed his body to that giant hermaphrodite wolf.
Then he says, “I was hoping you would say that.”
As he goes back toward the door, he says, “Come with me. I have some friends I’d like you to meet.”
Robby takes me across the complex and gathers some mutants to follow us. They bring me into a small room outside the barracks. One of them stands guard outside. Most of them look just as confused as I do.
“Why’d you gather us together, Robby?” asks a five-armed mutant with a black Mohawk. “It’s not even fucking dusk yet.”
Most of the others seem equally annoyed.
“We’ve been given an opportunity that must be acted upon now,” Robby says, pointing at me.
The other mutants in the room look in my direction.
“What’s this all about?” I ask him.
Robby stretches the fingers of the hands on his breasts, then says, “The Mayor plans to attack McDonaldland at the end of the month. With all of the new recruits he’s been getting, he’s built up a big enough army to take on the Fry Guys. He wants to reclaim his throne as ruler of McDonaldland. The Blessed McDonald’s Corporation might be a corrupt and oppressive government, but they are nothing compared to the cruelty of the Mayor’s reign. None of us in this room want this to happen. Even though we were thrown out of McDonaldland, it is still home to our friends and family. We don’t want to see it destroyed or perverted by the Mayor.”
“So what do we need him for?” a fat mutant with glasses asks.
“He’s friends with the Bitches,” he says. Then he looks at me. “We can help you rescue your girlfriend and get you out of here, but we want something in return.”
“Name it,” I say.
“I want you to convince the Bitches to help us. The Fry Guys don’t stand a chance against the Outlander army, but if the bitches were to help it would be a different story. As the Mayor attacks the Fry Guys, the Bitches can attack from the rear. The Outlanders would be surrounded.”
“What about you?” I ask. “You’re Outlanders yourself.”
“Most of us haven’t been here for long,” he says.
“We don’t have ties with any of these assholes,” says the mohawked mutant. “They could all die for all we care.”
“We plan to do as much damage as we can from the inside,” Robby says. “We don’t care if we have to die to save our families. We just can’t let the Mayor take over our home.”
“I can’t convince them to fight to save McDonaldland,” I say. “They all despise everything McDonaldland stands for.”
The mutants frown at me.
“But there is one chance,” I say. “Talon was one of the women who was brought in with Nova. She’s the second in command of the Warriors. If you rescue her she might be willing to get the others to help your cause.”
“It’s worth a try,” Robby says. Then he looks at the others. “There’s only one problem.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“I’m responsible for you,” he says. “If you escape with the Bitches then I’ll be the one left to answer for it. I can’t let that happen.”
“You could come with us,” I say.
“No, I’m needed here,” he says. “You’ll have to stay behind. We’ll get the women free and send them back to their people. You will stay here. Then, hopefully, they will convince the other Bitches to help defeat the Mayor.”
I think about it for a moment. There’s no way I want to stay with the Outlanders, but saving Nova is more important to me. I’d rather be apart from her and know that she’s safe. Besides, the only place I have among the Warriors is as Pippi’s doormat.
“Okay,” I tell him. “I’ll stay behind. But I get to help in the rescue.”
“Of course,” he says. “You’re the one who will have to convince them to support our cause during the escape.”
“So how do we get them out of here?”
“Leave that to us.”
We go immediately to the prison block. The mohawked mutant comes with us, along with a mutant who has a long red beard and only one extra limb the size of a baby arm. The four of us walk casually through the complex until we get to the cells. Then we creep into the prison when nobody is looking.
Inside is a long hallway that ends in a lounge. It is filled with couches made of blonde wolf fur. On the other side of the room, a man is pouring himself a cup of coffee. He is wearing a black and white striped jumpsuit with a black cape. He has an enormous oversized head with red hair and a black hat. When he turns to the side, I see a black bandit mask covering his eyes and a red tie down his chest.
Robby pulls us back into the hallway.
“Fuck,” Robby whispers. “It’s Hamburglar.”
My grandfather also told me about the Hamburglar. He was kicked out of McDonaldland with his friend Mayor McCheese. Just like the Mayor, he had undergone reconstructive surgery to look like the cartoon-like Hamburger character from the McDonald’s Bible. Whereas Mayor McCheese was supposed to represent the God of McDonaldland, the Hamburglar was supposed to represent the devil.
He was the Chief of the Fry Guys. His job was to punish the criminals of McDonaldland. Back when my grandfather was a kid, if somebody was arrested for breaking an unforgivable crime, it was the Hamburglar who escorted that criminal out of town.
My grandfather also said how ironic it was to see the Hamburglar escorted out of McDonaldland himself, after teaming up with the Mayor in an attempt to overthrow the corporate government.
We have no choice but to push forward. Robby watches for the way to clear and then one at a time we sneak past the lounge through the door that leads to the cellblock.
As I sneak past, I see the Hamburglar stirring sugar into his coffee. He dips a chocolate cookie into the coffee and takes a bite. His oversized head wobbles as he chews. He doesn’t turn around until the last of us gets past him.
Inside the cellblock, there is a bin filled with weapons near the door. Swords, rifles, spears, and other assorted weapons piled up in a heap. When I see Talon’s two long-handled axes on top of the stack, I realize that this is where they discard weapons that have been taken from the prisoners.
Like a McDonaldland prison, the walls are lined with cells. They are filled with naked wolf women in many stages of transformation. Some look barely changed at all, as if they were just exiled from McDonaldland this week. Others have already turned into massive beasts. The largest of them is the size of a Fry Guy van, and fills the majority of her cell.
Near the end of the row, there are two guys looking into a cell, laughing and cheering. The four of us hide behind the crate of weapons. I hear Nova’s voice. It is coming from the cell the mutants are looking into.
Peeking out from behind the crate, I see there is a third man inside the cell. He is taking off her clothes and smacking her as she resists. Nova’s hands and legs are bound.
“I’m going to give it to you good, Bitch!” says the man in the cage.
He fondles Nova’s breasts with two of his hands as four more curl around her hips and thighs. Nova spits in his face and he punches her in the stomach. Then he pulls down his pants and lies on top of her.
I stand up to go to her aid, but Robby pulls me back down.
“I’m going to fuck you like the animal you are,” he says.
As he tries to put his penis inside of her, Nova thrusts her pelvis at him with such force that he is tossed forward,
over her. His head slams between the bars of the cage so hard it rips both of his ears off. He shrieks as his ears dangle by bloody threads. Before his friends can come to his assistance, she rolls over him and slams her weight on his back, snapping his neck between the bars.
One of the other mutants pulls a knife and enters the cage. He says, “I’m going to fucking kill you, Bitch!”
Before Robby can stop me, I grab one of Talon’s axes out of the top of the weapon pile and charge the mutants. The one still outside the cell turns around as the axe comes down into his forehead. Then he drops.
The other mutant points the knife at me.
“Who the fuck are you?” he says.
Nova rolls over on the guy’s legs and he trips forward. When he hits the ground, I chop the axe down into his lower back. He cries out, but he doesn’t die. I try to pull the axe out, but it’s stuck. The man won’t stop screaming.
“Shut him up!” Robby says, as he gets out from behind the crate and barricades the door just in case the Hamburglar hears the screaming.
With my foot on the guard’s back for leverage, I try pulling out the axe. But it has gone in all the way to the floor and is now caught on his spine.
The mohawked mutant grabs Talon’s other axe and runs toward us. I give up on the axe and grab the knife from the screaming guard. Instead of finishing off the mutant, I bring the knife to Nova’s bonds and cut her free. She doesn’t say anything as she leaves the cell. She stomps on the back of the guard’s head and a loud cracking noise echoes through the cellblock. He stops screaming.
Before Nova puts her clothes on, she releases Talon from her cell. Then she goes to the other cells and releases the other wolf girls one at a time.
“This isn’t part of the plan,” Robby says, getting between me and Nova. “We can only get two of them out.”
Nova pushes him out of the way to release more of the imprisoned girls. As the girls are released, they immediately go to the bin of weapons to arm themselves.
Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland Page 17
