“What about getting some shoes to go with it?” asked Sherry.
And so I purchased boots, of all things, and a matching purse and belt, along with several other nice pieces, which I felt sure must’ve maxed out the Bradley’s charge account, before Sherry and I finally decided to call it a day. Feeling as reckless as Bonnie and Clyde, we stowed my bags and packages in the back of the Range Rover, and then I threw back my head and laughed.
“I can’t believe I just did that,” I told my accomplice.
“Well,” said Sherry as we climbed into the SUV,“I’ve heard of women who’ve slit tires or burned clothes or bashed in their husband’s little sports cars with sledgehammers. A little shopping therapy seems like a small price to pay compared to that.”
“I guess.”
“Besides,” she said,“you may need that suit when it comes time to look for a job.”
“A job.” I shook my head as I backed out of the parking space. “Now that’s a really overwhelming idea.”
“One day at a time, Glennis.”
Right. One day at a time, I kept telling myself until the day of my appointment with Dr. Abrams. To bolster my confidence, and since it seemed that fall was really in the air, I decided to wear my new suit. I figured if I had to be a complete mess on the inside, I might at least look like I had it together on the outside.
I liked Dr. Abrams right from the start. She seemed intelligent and compassionate as she asked me questions, then listened with empathetic eyes as I attempted to answer. And although we didn’t really solve any major life problems during that first appointment, she did give me some coping mechanisms, including some relaxation techniques and stress-relieving exercises that included a lot of deep breathing. I was relieved that she didn’t try to prescribe any medications. Of course, I didn’t admit my fear about losing my mind. I decided I’d better save that little prize until later. Even so, she encouraged me to consider what events had brought me to this place in my life. She suggested I begin writing things down. She even gave me a short list of questions, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to think about all that yet. One thing she alluded to, but never came right out and said, is that I seemed to focus more on the problems of other members of my family than on my own.
I frowned. “But I honestly don’t think I’d have any problems if Jacob hadn’t gotten involved with drugs and if Geoffrey hadn’t cheated on me.”
She just nodded and jotted something down. And for some reason that made me feel nervous. Just the same, I made another appointment with her for next month. I think I’ll probably go, but I still have a few weeks to change my mind.
After my appointment with Dr. Abrams, I met Sherry for coffee at Starbucks.
“You look great,” she told me as we took our coffees to an empty table by the window.
“Thanks.” I attempted a smile. “So?” she began. “How did it go?”
“Okay,” I told her. “Good.”
“She gave me some exercises and an assignment of sorts. I’m supposed to go back next month.”
“That’s great. Did you ask her about bringing Geoffrey?”
“I mentioned it.”
“And?”
“She said that was a good idea if Geoffrey wanted to come, but she didn’t think it would do any good to force him.”
“Right.”
I stirred my coffee. “Do you think I should ask him?”
Sherry nodded, then studied me for a long moment without speaking.
“What?” I asked her, certain she was thinking something.
“Oh, nothing.” She waved her hand.
Well, nothing gets to me worse than someone saying “nothing.”
“What is it?” I asked her. “I can tell you were about to say something. Is it about Geoffrey?”
“No…” Then she smiled. “It was really pretty silly, Glennis.”
“What?” I demanded. “Tell me.”
“Oh, I was just wondering why you haven’t bothered to cover up that gray hair. You know you would look at least ten years younger without it.” I rolled my eyes at her. “What is this? Make over Glennis month?” She smiled. “Yeah, maybe.”
“What difference does it make if I look younger or hipper or whatever, Sherry? My life will still be a mess.”
She glanced at her watch, then suddenly pulled out her cell phone and began dialing. Before I knew what had hit us, we had finished our coffees and gone down the street to a salon called Alta’s, and I was standing at the reception desk while Sherry conspired with a short blond woman named Bessie.
“Okay,” said Sherry, as if it were all settled. “I’ve got to go show a house right now, but Bessie can take you in about twenty minutes.” She leaned over and picked up a slightly tattered issue of Vogue and handed it to me as she led me over to the waiting area.
“I don’t know, Sherry,” I began.
“Don’t you trust me, Glennis?”
“Well, I suppose so, but why are you doing—”
“Look, Bessie knows exactly what to do. Just sit here and wait until she calls you, and then trust me, okay?”
I looked up into her clear blue eyes and realized that very few people are blessed with a friend as loyal and kind as Sherry. I finally nodded, then waved as she whooshed out the door. Then I opened the magazine and tried to think about absolutely nothing as I flipped past page after page of outrageous styles and gauntly thin models who looked about the same age or perhaps even younger than my daughter.
“Glennis Harmon?” called the blonde.
“Bessie?” I said as I laid aside the magazine, picked up my purse, and walked over to her station.
She smiled. “Have a seat.”
I sat down in the chair and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I vaguely wondered who that old woman was, but part of me didn’t really care. It seemed my drab hair and colorless face suited my spirits just fine. Why bother changing it?
Bessie loosened the barrette that was holding back my hair in a pony-tail and let it fall loosely around my shoulders. I gave it a little shake, then forced a laugh. “Great for Halloween,” I said. “All I need is a pointed hat and a broom.”
Bessie frowned. “Sherry is absolutely right. You are too young to be going around looking like this.”
I just shrugged, then followed her like a sheep to the slaughter back to the shampooing station. But I must admit that it felt nice to have someone gently scrubbing and massaging my scalp. I tried to remember the last time Geoffrey had touched me in a gentle or loving way. It seemed like it had been years. Maybe it had. Tears streamed down my cheeks as Bessie started to towel my hair dry.
“Did I get soap in your eyes?” she asked with concern.
“Just a little,” I lied as I dabbed my eyes with the edge of the towel.
Then I was back in the chair with the glaring lights and all-too-revealing mirror. I decided not to torture myself, so I shut my eyes as I was subjected to various stages of hair coloring. Throughout the entire ordeal, I didn’t allow myself to look at the mirror. What difference did it make? Even if my hair turned bright green or all fell out, who would really care?
Finally I felt a nudge on my shoulder. “Don’t you want to see?” she was asking me.
“Sorry,” I told her, opening my eyes, attempting to focus. Then I looked up and saw my hair looking very much as it had looked nearly twenty years ago, only without the bangs. She had cut bluntly, just above my shoulders, and the color was auburn again. Perhaps not as intense as it used to be, but it seemed to look more natural like this, more subdued and fitting with my age.
“That’s nice,” I told her as I reached up to touch it.
She nodded. “A real improvement.”
“Glennis!” called Sherry as she came into the salon. “Is that really you?” I turned and smiled. “I’m not sure.”
“Oh, you look absolutely stunning!”
“Oh, I don’t know—”
“But we need Linda now.” Sherry glanced over to the g
irl at the receptionist desk. “Is Linda here?”
“She’s in the back,” said the girl. “You want me to call her out?”
“Yes,” said Sherry. Then she took my hand and led me over to a station with cosmetics.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said when I realized what Sherry had in mind. “I’m pretty much a minimalist when it comes to makeup.”
“Obviously,” said Sherry as she practically forced me into the chair.
“But I don’t go for much makeup—”
“Don’t worry, Glennis,” she assured me. “Linda is very tasteful. You won’t look like a clown.”
Finally it was over, and I emerged from Linda’s hands, not looking like a clown exactly, but perhaps a little more dramatic than I would have preferred. However I did like the colors Linda had chosen and even decided to purchase a few items.
“The haircut and color are on me,” said Sherry as she pushed my money away.
“No,” I insisted. “You can’t—”
“I can and I will.” She turned and smiled at me. “I just wrote out an offer on a house, and I feel like celebrating.”
“Congratulations,” I told her. “But you don’t need to—”
“No arguing with me, Glennis. It was my idea, and I intend to pay for it. Then I can take all the credit when people start complimenting you on your new look.”
So I decided not to argue. Instead I just hugged her when we got outside. “Thanks,” I told her.
“I wish I could take you out and show you off,” she teased. “But Rod and I are having dinner at the Franklins’ tonight.”
I waved my hand. “That’s okay,” I assured her. “It’s been a long day for me anyway.” So we said good-bye, and I got into the Range Rover just as it began to rain. I couldn’t help but pull down the rearview mirror to take a peek at myself again. I blinked in surprise. I really did look different. Then I started the engine and turned on the windshield wipers and just sat there. I considered going home to my apartment but knew that Jacob wouldn’t get off work until after nine. Maybe it was hearing that Rod and Sherry had a dinner date, or maybe it was being all dressed up with nowhere to go, but suddenly I felt very, very lonely.
I remembered the deep-breathing exercise that Dr. Abrams had told me about, and sitting there in my SUV with rain pelting down and wipers going, I attempted to calm myself by breathing deeply. To my relief, it seemed to work. Then I remembered something Dr. Abrams had said about taking care of myself first. Now, admittedly, this was a new concept to me. I mean I’d spent the past twenty-five years taking care of everyone else’s needs before ever considering my own. I wasn’t even sure how to go about it.
“What do you need, Glennis?” I asked myself aloud, feeling a bit silly. Then my stomach growled, and I realized I was hungry. And what I felt hungry for was a big plateful of pesto linguini and rock shrimp from Sindalli’s.
Why not? I asked myself. I put the Range Rover into gear and drove over to the restaurant. Then thankful that it wasn’t quite six, and still early for the dinner rush, I went inside and asked for a “table for one.” Okay, it felt very, very strange to do this, and my heart actually began to race with anxiety over sitting by myself at a table and eating all alone. But I took a deep calming breath and told myself it would be okay and I’d better get used to it.
The waiter smiled politely as he escorted me to a lonely little table near the kitchen. But I didn’t mind the location so much. It was highly preferable to being right out in the middle where everyone could see that I was dining alone. And I must admit that the noises coming from the kitchen sounded somewhat warm and familiar. Really, I told myself, this isn’t so bad.
I watched as other couples and families and groups came in, quickly filling our town’s most expensive restaurant. Not so unusual for a Friday night. And slowly but surely, I began to relax, and I started to enjoy a bit of people watching, and I thought perhaps dining alone had its upside after all. Not to mention that the food and service were excellent.
Shortly after the waiter set my entrée before me, and after I’d taken a few delicious bites, I nearly fell out of my chair. My heart seemed to stop beating as I saw Geoffrey being seated at a table on the other side of the dining room, and across the table from him, already seated and beaming up at him, was Judith Ramsey. It appeared obvious by their happy and relaxed expressions that they hadn’t noticed me. And perhaps they might not ever look up and see me since the restaurant was dimly lit with only the soft glow of small oil lamps illuminating the tables—and since their eyes seemed to be fixed on each other.
Unreal. I couldn’t believe the odds of my seeing them—and in Sindalli’s of all places! This is where Geoffrey always took me for our special dates. Perhaps I should’ve known better. Or perhaps I had done this subconsciously. Is it possible that I came here tonight hoping to see them? Whatever the case, I wished I wasn’t here now. And I knew if they saw me, they would assume it was no coincidence. They might even think I was stalking them.
I’m not sure how long I sat there staring at them, wondering how I could escape this predicament, but finally the waiter approached my table and with concern asked if there was anything wrong with my food.
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s wonderful.”
“Oh, good.”
“But I’m afraid it’s more than I can eat right now. Do you think you could possibly box up what’s left?”
“Certainly.”
And while the young man was off in the kitchen, dumping my beautifully arranged pasta into a takeout Styrofoam box, I considered how I could slip out of the restaurant without being seen by them. There was an emergency exit just opposite the kitchen, but I felt certain that would sound an alarm and draw everyone’s attention. I could try to walk around the far side of the restaurant, but going in and out of tables would probably draw attention as well.
Finally I wondered why I naturally assumed that I should be the one to go sneaking around to avoid them. It occurred to me that I had as much right as anyone to be eating in this particular restaurant. In fact, I had even more right than my husband, who was barely even separated before he started publicly dating another woman.
And so, after the waiter returned with my box and a bill that was more than I’d expected, I stood up, and with what little confidence I could muster, I began to walk directly through the restaurant. I knew there was no graceful way to avoid their table, at least not without making a spectacle of myself, and besides I had conjured up a plan. Okay, maybe it was a foolish plan, but at the time it felt perfect.
I walked right up to their table and paused there until they finally looked up and realized it was me. I could see the look of horrified surprise in Geoffrey’s eyes, not just at seeing me standing there, but also because I looked different. It was almost as if he didn’t recognize me at first.
“Glennis,” he whispered.
“Geoffrey,” I said calmly,“what a surprise.”
Judith remained silent, but I could tell by her expression that she was genuinely worried. And perhaps even frightened. I wondered what she thought I might do to her. Make a horrible scene, scream and shout, initiate a catfight with her?
“What are you—”
“Don’t worry” I smiled. “I only stopped by to say hello.”
He seemed both relieved and yet still agitated. “We came here to celebrate,” he said quickly. “The lawsuit is finally over. We won. John and Anton should be joining us any minute.” He glanced over his shoulder as if wishing for the other two city councilmen to suddenly appear out of nowhere. However, their table was only set for two, and once again, I knew my husband was lying.
“You must be so happy.” I looked evenly at him, then over to her and back to him again. “Congratulations,” I said,“to both of you.”
He nodded. “Yes, its a huge relief.”
“Well, here then.” I handed him my bill. “Since you’re celebrating and all.”
He nodded. “No problem.”
“It’s certainly a lot cheaper than taking me on that anniversary trip to the Caribbean.”
Then I turned and walked away All right, a free dinner under those particular circumstances wasn’t much of a prize. But I did get a pitiful bit of satisfaction for interrupting them like that and, I hoped, spoiling their dinner.
By the time Jacob came home, I had removed my new designer suit and donned my old gray sweats again. Even so, he did a double take when he came in the door.
“Wow, Mom, you look different,” he said as he put a pizza box on the counter, one of the perks of his job. Sometimes an order was wrong, and if no one wanted it, the employees were allowed to take it home.
I patted my hair. “It was Sherry’s idea.”
“Looks really cool,” he said as he came and flopped down on the couch beside me. “How was work?”
He sighed and shook his head. “My manager is a jerk.”
“Why’s that?”
“He fired Daniel today.”
“That’s too bad. Why?”
“Just because he was late.”
“That seems pretty harsh. Had Daniel been late before?”
“Yeah, I guess. But even so, Daniel was a hard worker. Some of the other guys spend all their time trying to get out of work. Daniel would really get in there and get stuff done.”
“Too bad. Does Daniel have some idea for another job?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.” He looked up at the clock. “I was thinking I might go over and try to cheer him up. Do you mind?”
So far Jacob had been good to come home every night after work. He’d play his music and watch TV and finally go to bed. It had been comforting knowing where he was this past week. Suddenly the idea of his going out made me uneasy. Still, I knew that I couldn’t make him stay home against his will.
“Do you work tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yeah, but not until three.”
“Oh.”
“I just feel worried about Daniel,” Jacob said as he stood up. He reached for the pizza box. “Do you want any of this, Mom?” I shook my head. “No, I’ve already eaten.”
Crystal Lies Page 11
