by Tamar Sloan
But just before the ground falls away, I feel a hand clamp onto my arm.
My eyes fly open in alarm, but it’s too late.
I’ve arrived at Elysium.
And Nevaeh is with me.
Micah
After arriving at Elysium, I stay by the gates for longer than I should. First, it’s to check that Kadence doesn’t follow me. I’m pretty sure she could sense something was up.
When she doesn’t arrive, I let relief rush through me. I’m glad I told her I loved her before I left. Learning the truth about my father has changed everything.
Then, I hang back because my head is still reeling.
Damien Black isn’t the man I was told he was. A kaleidoscope of memories tumble through my mind, and I press my fingers to my temples. Kadence saw him the day Damien helped the little girl who fell over, but I’ve watched him for far longer. I saw him read Hiroko bedtime stories, wishing it were me. I saw him give food to the homeless, thinking it was all part of his façade.
I thought it was all lies.
I was told it was all lies.
Anger explodes, propelling me straight past the gates and to our cottage. It only grows as I storm through the door and stand beside the Loom, breathing like I just ran all the way from Pontiac Point.
I’m not surprised to find my mother there, nor does she startle when I barge in. The goddess of fate would know this was inevitable.
I stand there, chest heaving, as the tick, tick, tick of the Loom weaves around us.
My hands fist, feeling like hot iron. “It’s all true, isn’t it?”
Mom raises her chin. “I did what was necessary, Micah. I couldn’t let you be raised in the human world.”
I thought she’d say as much. “By telling me my father was everything he’s not? That he didn’t want me?”
“You couldn’t be discovered, Micah. Despite everything I’ve said, that is the truth.”
My fingers are back at my temples. “I don’t understand. You were going to let me live on Earth.”
Mom looks away. “I thought because you were half human, that it would be okay. It was wishful thinking. The son of a primordial god holds far too much power.”
I shake my head, unsure this makes sense.
Mom raises her hand, her eyes pleading. “Nor did I expect to love the baby I held in my arms as much as I did.”
“Would you have spent your life looking for me?”
Mom’s hand drops like something just tried to bite it, but I ignore the pang it causes. “Because Damien loved me enough to do exactly that.”
Admitting it has my eyes burning, but it’s the truth. Losing his son—me—caused Damien years and years of desperate heartache.
And opened the door for Hades to harvest souls for so much of that time.
I don’t wait for my mother to respond to a question that has no answer. There’s no changing what has happened. It’s how we fix the consequences of my existence that needs to be addressed. “Hades is stealing souls, and he’s using the health centers Damien built to do it. We need to stop him.”
Mom’s jaw tenses. “Nothing’s changed, Micah. If I interfere, I turn my back on my duty as the goddess of fate. On the belief that good will prevail.”
“You can’t be serious.” I point to the Loom behind her. “Haven’t you seen what’s happening?”
“Of course I see it,” she snaps. “Overseeing the Loom has been my responsibility for as long as time has existed. I know the darkness is growing.”
My arms arc out, frustration pulsing through me. “What’s the point then, Mom? To just sit back and watch the world implode? For Hades to make his Underworld great?”
“You don’t think I haven’t watched the periods of darkness before? Millions of lives lost? Souls hurting each other, generation after generation? The only way for it to remain bearable is to believe that for day to exist, there must be night.”
“Even when it’s happened because of a god?” I counter.
Her shoulders droop. “Gods have interfered before, Micah. Just as they’ll interfere again. They are as much a part of this fabric as humans.”
Except for my mother. She’s never interfered.
And except for me. I’m not supposed to be part of the fabric.
“You’re not going to do it, are you? You have the power to end this, Mom.”
All she has to do is change a thread to two, alter their trajectories. Maybe stop Hades from ever finding Jade. Maybe stop the humans from accessing the health centers.
“I will not change destinies, Micah. The consequences could be far worse than what we’re seeing now.”
I step back, acceptance feeling far heavier than I expected. My mother was my last hope. “Maybe you shouldn’t have had me, then.”
My mother recoils. “What? No!”
“I’ve been treated like a mistake my entire life. Something that should be hidden. Something that wasn’t supposed to exist.”
As I say the words, their truth punches me in the gut. Would it be better if I never existed?
Another blow slams me before I’ve recovered from the first. My mother did interfere.
She had me.
That’s where all this can be traced back to. The moment I was born. It’s what she’s been trying to undo from the beginning.
I straighten my shoulders. “Take me out of the Loom.”
My mother recoils. “What are you saying, Micah?”
“You know exactly what I’m saying. I’m nothing but a thread, just like all the others. Damien wouldn’t have been manipulated by Hades if I’d never been born.”
All my mother has to do is go back along the fabric and end my life before it was started. I would be a miscarriage, maybe a stillborn. Maybe even further back, altering destiny so I was never conceived.
I would never have existed.
As the thought pierces me, my heart screams for Kadence. What I felt for her seemed so much stronger than this.
But she won’t experience the pain of my loss if I never appear on that rooftop.
Mom shakes her head so hard a braid slips free and tumbles to her shoulder. “No, Micah. I would never do that.”
“You’re a primordial god, Mom!” My too-tight chest has the words coming out as a shout. “You were never supposed to have me!”
Mom’s eyes are wounds of pain as she stares at me. “I will never do that, Micah. You’ve been the one to remind me that light exists.”
I walk over to the Loom, taking in the rhythmically moving pieces. Destiny is being woven even as we stand here, stuck in a stalemate. I lift my hand, remembering all the times I would sit here and watch it work. Fascinated, enchanted, longing to be part of it.
Beside me, Mom’s hand jerks. When I look up, her gaze flits away, as if she wasn’t watching me as intently as I was watching the Loom.
I still as something strikes me. The warnings to never touch the fabric. I never questioned them.
Just like I never questioned the stories she told me about my father.
The son of a primordial god holds far too much power.…
I walk over to the Loom, my steps slow and measured. “All demigods can teleport.”
And I never questioned when she told me my demigod power was the ability to teleport.
Mom’s eyes widen with panic. “I’m sorry, Micah. I shouldn’t have lied to you about that.”
She should never have lied to me about any of it. My hand hovers over the fabric, closer than I ever have, and it’s then that I see it.
The threads, they shimmer and shiver, rising ever so slightly. It’s like my fingers are a magnet they’re undeniably drawn to.
I step back, my whole body feeling like lead. “I can do it, too, can’t I?”
Mom’s hand flutters to her throat. Her blue eyes are glistening with moisture. “No, Micah…”
But it’s too late. I’ve discovered her final lie. “I can change the threads.”
Her eyes slam shut in denia
l, but it doesn’t stop what’s happened. The truth has been spoken.
I have the power to weave destiny. To take a thread and alter its fate.
To end one.
I swallow as I take a step forward.
To remove one like it never existed.
Kadence
As sweet sunlight bathes me, I glance down at the hand on my arm. “What are you doing?”
Nev lets her arm slide back to her side. She shrugs apologetically as she looks around. “I was curious.”
“Curious? What are you talking about? That was one hell of a dangerous stunt to pull.”
What if humans can’t teleport? Nev could’ve gotten herself killed!
Nev’s arms stretch out as she does a slow spin. “But this is Elysium, Kay. It was an opportunity I couldn’t allow to slip by.” She stops as she comes around to face me again. “Plus, I wanted to make sure you didn’t do this alone.”
Micah.
Hurting and alone as he faces the lies his mother has fed him his whole life.
The gates are as big and intimidating as I remember. Intricate wrought iron woven with ivy frame the path that will take me to him.
Or maybe I should wait here…
“Well?” Nev tugs on my arm. “What are you waiting for?”
I frown at the gates, asking myself the same question. Why am I so hesitant to go in there?
Is it because it’s Elysium? No, even the sacredness of Elysium wouldn’t keep me away from Micah.
Is it because I’m scared of what I’m going to find, just like Nev says?
No.
It’s because I’d be protecting him. From pain. From the truth. From his destiny.
Just like everyone else in his life has.
Micah’s learning he’s far more a part of this world than he’s been led to believe. It’s something I’ve instinctively known, wished for with all my heart. The world that Damien Black painted was one with Micah in it.
That’s the world I want to live in.
Nev is still tugging on my arm, so I shake her free. “I’m going to wait here.”
“You’re not serious, are you? Micah’s in there, he needs you!”
I shake my head. “He needs me to believe in him.”
Nev looks like she’s about to pop a vein, and I start to wonder why she’s so invested in this. Why is it so important to her that I go to Micah?
Before I can ask, though, she stabs her finger into my chest. “Well, I’m not just going to sit by and be a coward.”
As I reel back at being called a coward, Nev spins around and strides through the gates. I watch in shock as she disappears around the bend.
I sprint after her, part furious, part petrified at what she’s just done. She’s just entered Elysium, a sacred place for good souls. What’s more, I’m the one who brought her here.
I find her outside the cottage, still as a statue. I’m about to grab her arm and drag her back to the gates when shouted words filter through the open door to us. “Take me out of the Loom.”
I freeze, although my heart just jackknifed into my throat. What is Micah talking about?
“No, Micah. I would never do that.” Moira’s voice is full of the same horror I’m feeling.
Relief has me sagging until the next words hit me.
“You’re a primordial god, Mom! You were never supposed to have me!”
You were never supposed to have me.
Micah’s greatest fear captured in one sentence.
Nev’s nodding, like she knew something like this was going to happen. I take a step forward, then stop. I wasn’t going to go in there…
The silence that follows is crowded by the roar of my pulse. How can Micah think he should never have existed? Surely, he sees the joy he’s given those who know him.
“I can do it, too, can’t I? I can change the threads.”
Do what? Change what threads? I want to scream the words, fly into the cottage and grab him, shake him, tell him my love is proof of the magic he weaves.
Nev’s voice is a harsh whisper. “What’s his power, Kadence?”
Telepor— Except all demigods can teleport. Which means, Micah has a different ability. As the son of Moira, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.
Great gods. The Loom. Micah has the power to change the Loom! I choke out the words, hating each one as it forms, “He can make it like he never existed.”
Surely not…
But my heart is like thunder in my chest. Would Micah remove himself from the Loom?
A part of him would be telling him that’s exactly what he should do.
Nev grips my arm. “You can’t let this happen, Kay.” This time, her whisper is an urgent hiss.
The ramifications are slamming through me. A world without Micah. There’d be no health centers because Damien Black wouldn’t have a son he’d move heaven and earth to find. Hades wouldn’t have the opportunity to put his plan into motion. Souls wouldn’t be taken.
The grip on my arm is so tight, it starts to hurt. “You need to stop time, Kadence. Hurry.”
Stop time?
“Don’t you see, Kadence? It would freeze the Loom. Micah wouldn’t be able to change it. He wouldn’t be able to remove himself.”
I glance down at my hands as they clasp into fists, the pointer fingers remaining extended.
I could convince Micah this is wrong. That I love him. That I can’t live without him.
Except then Micah would live his life in Elysium.
And Hades would have the opportunity to steal even more souls.
Breathing becomes an effort. My whole body feels like it just turned to stone.
The truth is, my hands are tied.
Micah wouldn’t want me stopping time to do this. He’d only blame himself more as he lived a half-life he couldn’t remain in.
I realize I can’t take this choice away from him.
All that leaves me with is faith. The one thing Micah has given me.
Faith that Micah is stronger than this. That he believes he belongs.
That the love we’ve discovered is stronger than this.
Shaking my head, I take a step back, blinking back tears. “I have to believe he won’t do it.”
“Then you’re a coward.”
My gaze shoots up to look at Nev in shock. That’s the second time she’s called me that.
But the sneer on my best friend’s face is unmistakable. “You’ve always taken the easy road, Kadence.”
“I’m not doing this because I’m scared—”
Making this decision is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done. I’m actually choosing the possibility of pain. If Micah believes he should remove himself from this world…
Nev shoves her face close to mine, hissing her words through gritted teeth, “You stop time, you save Micah, and possibly thousands of souls. But no, all you think of is everything that could go wrong.”
I open my mouth to explain myself again, only to snap it shut.
Nevaeh is working pretty hard for me to stop time.
I take in the anger distorting her features. And she was the one who turned her back on me just before I stopped it last time.
I gasp as my gaze locks with hers.
A smile slowly spreads across her face.
It’s all the evidence I need to cement the realization.
Nevaeh isn’t who I thought she was.
Micah
I lift my hand back over the Loom, not wanting to give myself too much time to think. What other choice is there?
Mom leaps forward, hands stretched out. “Stop! You…” She scrambles for a reason to stop me. “You told Damien you’d be returning!”
So, she was watching. I don’t move my hand. “I lied.”
The moment I learned the myth my life has been was the moment the truth was no longer necessary.
“You were right. My being here is wrong. You shouldn’t have had me, Mom.”
My voice cracks on the las
t word, and I look away. Kadence deserves better than some half-relationship.
I deserve better than the half-life I’ve led.
“You can’t.” She chokes, blue eyes a pool of tears.
“Why not?”
“Because I loved your father, Micah.”
I pause, a denial already forming on my lips.
“Love was something I’d watched, known it existed on an intellectual level, something relegated to the world of humans. But it became real when I met him. It was a love strong enough to have me forgetting my responsibilities. It was a love that made the impossible possible.”
Me.
The child of a primordial god.
She steps forward, reaching out across the distance between us. “You aren’t a mistake, Micah. You’re a child born of a love that was destined to be. I’ve just refused to acknowledge that.”
Because then she’d have to admit she interfered. That she’s part of the fabric just like everyone else is.
Just like I am.
My hand trembles. “If I’m meant to be here, then my destiny is with Kadence.”
Mom nods, her mouth tipping up despite the trembling of her lips. “You were right. The darkness needs light to counter it.” Her eyes fill with certainty. “Your destiny is to be that light in the dark, Micah.”
My hand falls to my side as my breath rushes out. It feels like I’ve been holding it for half my life.
Tick, tick, tick.
The Loom is recording these moments as they happen. My future is about to unfold within the complexity of the cloth it weaves.
A future I’m going to be part of.
My entire chest expands, then it feels like all of me is growing, becoming lighter.
Kadence.
I step away from the Loom. “I need to talk to Kadence.” I need to see her with the same necessity I need air.
Mom nods. “My guess is she’s outside.”
I spin around. “She’s here?”
“Your threads are so tightly woven, I doubt you would part across dimensions for very long.”
I glance at the door, heart yearning, body trembling.
