“Aubrey,” Lance began. “It’s come to our attention that you saw Brett shifting into a panda bear earlier this evening.”
Lance paused, waiting to see if Aubrey was going to respond. Aubrey merely stared at him, so he continued.
“All four of us are panda shifters. We came here to explain shifting, and answer any questions you might have. We also came here to explain to you how serious the consequences could be for us if the wrong people find out about our abilities. We’re hoping that, despite your understandable anger at the moment, you will be able to assure us that you can keep this information to yourself.”
Aubrey shoved another spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth, and kept staring at Lance. She resisted the urge to let a surprised expression pass over her face. She was a bit taken aback by how matter-of-factly Lance had just stated that the entire group in front of her could turn into bears. He said it in the same offhanded tone that you might use to mention that someone was really talented at golf, or some other mundane activity like that.
Lance tilted his head sideways for a moment, as though he expected Aubrey to say something. She didn’t, and so he kept talking. “Bear shifters live throughout the world, blending into many different societies. There are shifters of all types. Polar bears, black bears, grizzly bears…you get the picture. We are panda shifters, the rarest of all the shifters.”
Lance paused again, and Aubrey finally couldn’t resist the urge to ask questions. “So, what?” she asked. “You have some sort of magical powers to turn into a bear? That’s really freaking weird.”
“It’s not magic. It’s a genetic mutation, passed on from generation to generation. A lot of people think it’s magic, and they treat us like we’re evil sorcerers or something. But we don’t have any supernatural powers. Just the ability to change physical forms. We aren’t out to hurt anyone. We just want to live in peace.”
Aubrey stabbed her spoon into the ice-cream so that it stood upright, then set down the carton. “Why are you so secretive about it, if you’re not out to hurt anyone?”
“Because some of the people who treat us like we’re evil are very dangerous. A group of scientists created a virus that almost killed off the entire population of North American panda shifters a few years ago. The four of us are all that remain, and if those scientists find out where we are, they will try to find another way to kill us. We aren’t safe unless we’re blending in with the crowds of normal humans.”
Aubrey frowned. “I don’t mean to sound rude, but, how can you be sure that you aren’t dangerous. I mean, you change into wild animals. And wild animals are unpredictable. How do you know that you won’t give in to some sort of wild instinct while you’re a bear and maul someone or something like that?”
“We’re still ‘us’ when we shift,” Ben chimed in. “We keep our human thought processes. The only thing that changes is our bodies.”
Aubrey looked up at the four men standing across the room from her, and almost laughed. They all appeared vulnerable, despite the fact that they were large, muscular men who looked like they could handle anything the world threw at them. “So, I guess you came here to make sure I’m not going to tell anyone who you are.”
“Basically, yes,” Ace said. “If you tell the cops, it could start a chain reaction. They might report it to a government agency, which would then report it to another government agency, and so forth. It wouldn’t take long for our enemies to find us. Now that there are only four of us, it’s pretty hard to defend ourselves. We’d rather just live our lives in peace, and enjoy our job working on a search and rescue team.”
Brett started to take a step forward, but stopped short when Aubrey glared at him. “Aubrey, I know you’re mad at me. And I know I deserve it. I didn’t react well when I saw you at Pete’s. But I also know you’re an open-minded, easygoing person. This whole shifter thing isn’t the kind of thing you would normally freak out about, so please don’t overreact just because you’re angry at me. I might deserve to be screwed over, but these guys definitely don’t. And if you take me down, they’ll have to go down with me.”
Aubrey’s eyes darkened. “You don’t know what kind of person I am. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have gone off on me like I was some sort of liar or cheater when you found me at the bar with Gary. You would have given me a chance to explain. But you didn’t. So I guess you don’t know me as well as you think you do, huh?”
Aubrey watched Brett lower his eyes and let out a sigh. She knew she was being hard on him, but he deserved it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t give you a proper chance to explain, and that was wrong of me. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry. I messed up.”
“You did mess up,” Aubrey said. “Honestly, I’m really hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to share with me who you really were. I thought we were close friends, but close friends don’t keep such massive secrets from one another.”
Brett rubbed his forehead wearily. “I’m not perfect. I care very deeply for you, and I stumbled horribly in the way I tried to show it. I realize that now. But I’m begging you, please don’t punish my friends for my mistakes. Please, don’t take out your anger on me in a way that will bring harm to them.”
Aubrey’s eyes went cold. “Fine,” she said. “I am a decent, open-minded person. I don’t want to bring harm to anyone, especially people who have done no harm to me. You all did save my life, after all. But I feel betrayed, Brett. I feel like I gave you all of me, and you responded by hiding yourself from me. I won’t tell anyone about your secret talent, but I don’t want to see you anymore. Now, if you all don’t have any other questions, I’m a little busy with my ice-cream and television here.”
Brett’s face looked pained, but the rest of the men in the room looked visibly relieved.
“So, you’re not going to tell anyone what you saw?” Ace asked, wanting to confirm what Aubrey had just told them.
“That’s what I just said. Now go,” Aubrey said. She reached down to pick up her carton of ice cream, and pulled the spoon out. The ice-cream was starting to melt around the edges, and Aubrey spooned some of the liquid vanilla cream into her mouth.
The men took the hint and moved toward the doorway, leaving silently while Aubrey reached for the remote and hit play on her Netflix show. Right before they left the living room, Brett turned to look at her one last time.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. Then he was gone, disappearing through the front door after his buddies.
Aubrey waited until she heard the door click shut, and was sure they were gone. Then she let the tears come. The flood of emotion she felt at saying goodbye to Brett surprised her, and she desperately tried to push back the sadness. She had lost a friend in all of this mess. It was normal to feel this way, right?
But even though Aubrey would never have admitted it to anyone, she knew she was mourning more than just the loss of a buddy. She hadn’t realized it until just that moment, but Brett had become so much more to her than just a friend.
Chapter Eleven
Brett kept hoping that he would hear from Aubrey. He thought that maybe after she had a few days for her anger to cool, she would give him another chance. But a week went by in complete silence, and he realized that he might have to accept that she was really gone from his life. He wrote her text after text but deleted them before sending. He never knew quite what to say to her. Every apology he could make sounded hollow.
It was a humbling experience for Brett. He hadn’t faced too many situations in his life where he hadn’t gotten what he wanted. Even though he had tried to be a wise and selfless leader, he had to admit that being alpha to a clan of shifters had been a job title with definite perks. Most of his clan had wanted to please him, and had gone out of their way to do things to make his life easier. After he lost them, he hadn’t wanted much of anything except a chance to constantly burn off anger through physical activity, which his job as a rescue swimmer had given him. Then he had m
et his ex-girlfriend, Michelle, and had thought his life was as good as it could get. After he realized that Michelle wasn’t who he thought she was, he held on to his faith that everything happens for a reason when he met Aubrey.
But now Aubrey was gone from his life, too, and Brett was surprised at how much the pain of that took his breath away. He hadn’t realized how much his heart had become entwined with hers until she had been torn away from him by his own idiocy. But he did his best to hide his anguish from the other alphas. He didn’t want to appear weak. The energy it took to put up such a front was starting to wear him down, though. He grew withdrawn and quiet, and the other guys started to notice.
Brett was sitting in the dining hall at the air station, picking at a plate of macaroni and cheese, when Lance walked in and sat next to him.
“Dude, what’s going on with you?” Lance asked.
Brett gave Lance an annoyed sideways glance. “Come on, man, you know. I’m upset that I lost my girl. I don’t want to have a heart to heart about it. It’s cool. I’m fine. It was just unexpected.”
Lance snorted. “I don’t think you’re fine. You’ve barely eaten over the last few weeks, and you’ve been slacking off on your workouts. That’s not okay. We have a job to do here, and you have to keep yourself in shape to do it. I feel for you, man, I really do. But we can’t afford to have a weak link in our rescue operations. Especially not when that weak link is our rescue swimmer.”
“I’m fine. One week of lighter workouts isn’t going to have a huge effect.”
“It’s been over a week. And besides worrying about our rescue operations, I’m worried about you. In the five years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you look so downcast. It’s like you’re not even the same person.”
Brett ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s not a big deal. She’s obviously not my lifemate, anyway, so I would have had to get over her sooner or later.”
Lance raised an eyebrow in Brett’s direction. “She’s not your lifemate? Are you sure? Because you’re having a pretty strong reaction to the breakup. Or the broken friendship with benefits or whatever this was.”
Brett shrugged. “If she was my lifemate she wouldn’t have told me to get lost for shifting.”
Lance laughed, and Brett glared at him. If Lance just wanted to joke about this situation, then Brett definitely wasn’t going to sit here and have a heart to heart with him.
“It’s not funny, man,” Brett said.
“It kind of is, actually,” Lance said. “First of all, she’s angry at you because you were a jerk and accused her of cheating on you, not because you shifted. Second of all, do you think that just because someone is your lifemate, that things are always going to be easy? Because you’re in for a big surprise, if so. Lifemates still fight. They still get angry with each other. But their bond is stronger than any argument they might get into.”
“Well, I don’t think we’re bonded. I would’ve known for sure by now, with all the times I’ve slept with her.”
Lance laughed again. “You’ve got a lot to learn. Sometimes the bond is evident instantly, sure. But sometimes it takes a while to grow and form, while a couple gets their bearings in a relationship. It’s not magic, Brett. It’s destiny. There’s a difference.”
Brett stared down at his macaroni and cheese, pushing the cold noodles around with his fork and refusing to look up at Lance. He didn’t want to admit that Lance had a point—he never liked to acknowledge when he was wrong and one of the other alphas was right. But Lance did have a point. Brett had seen his own parents bicker and not speak to each other on numerous occasions, but they always worked it out, and no one would have ever questioned the strength of their lifemate bond.
“It doesn’t matter whether there’s a bond or not,” Brett said bitterly. “She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“Have you tried since we were all at her house?” Lance asked.
“No,” Brett said. “I didn’t want to make her more angry than she already was. I’m worried that she’ll try to cause trouble by telling someone that we’re shifters.”
Lance sighed and looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot. “Listen, I’m sure Ace and Ben would kill me for saying this, but you have to think about your own happiness, too. I’m not saying you shouldn’t consider the other alphas, or that you shouldn’t try to protect them. But there has to be some balance. Even though I gave you a hard time about Aubrey in the beginning, I do think she’s a generally kind, loyal person. She’s mad at you, sure. But she’s not the type to do something that she knows might result in you or any of the other guys getting killed. Talk to her. And I don’t just mean apologize. I mean tell her how you really feel. Tell her that you never wanted to be just friends. Man up, alpha up. Don’t sit around and mope. Do something. You’ve got noble genes. Now start acting like it.”
Brett looked up, trying to find words to defend himself, which was difficult, since Lance once again was making a good point. Before he could form a coherent sentence, however, the alarm went off. They were being called out for a rescue mission. Brett was saved from responding, for the moment at least. He ran to the equipment room to start gearing up, trying to push the conversation with Lance out of his mind and focus on the job at hand.
The rescue call had come in for a jet skier who was stranded out in the ocean. A nearby boat had seen him wipeout and fly into the ocean, but had been unable to locate him. Winds were picking up and the sun was setting, so there was concern that the man would be nearly impossible to find. Brett and the crew were in the helicopter within thirty minutes, taking off from the air station and heading for the coordinates where the man had last been seen. The crew made the perfect team, and Brett soon forgot about Aubrey as he focused completely on trying to locate the man. Ben spotted him first, and brought the helicopter into a stationary hover twenty-five feet above the location. Lance helped Brett hook into the rescue cable, and then lowered him down into the waves. Brett unhooked himself as soon as he made it to the water, giving the helicopter a thumbs up sign to verify he was okay before swimming over to the survivor.
“I’m petty officer Brett Smith with the United States Coast Guard. You’re going to be okay.”
The man stared back at Brett with wide eyes. He was wearing a lifejacket and swim trunks, and nothing else. With no protection against the cool ocean water, the man was clearly already going into hypothermic shock. He was lucky that the rescue crew had found him so quickly—it wouldn’t have taken too much longer out here for him to be in trouble. Brett signaled Lance to lower the rescue basket, and within a few minutes the man was safely inside the helicopter. Lance lowered the hoist cable and Brett clipped it back onto his rescue harness. He looked around at the restless ocean one more time before clipping in, remembering the night when he had been there pulling Aubrey from the waves. He hadn’t known it was Aubrey then, of course. But he still remembered what her face had looked like as he swam up to her. He still remembered the mixture of worry and relief in her eyes, and the way her tangled, wet hair had whipped around her face. Brett never forgot a survivor’s face. He never stopped feeling a sense of awe at the great responsibility and privilege he had been given, to be the one quite literally holding out the lifeline for so many people.
Brett gave Lance the thumbs up, and Lance started lifting him up toward the helicopter. The man whom they had just rescued was now covered with a warm blanket. He would be okay, thanks to the quick work of the rescue team. Brett settled in for the ride back to the air station, letting his mind drift completely over to Aubrey.
Brett watched the dark ocean flying by below, and decided that he couldn’t ignore what Lance had said. If Brett could find the courage to jump into the open ocean waves, then he could find the courage to lay everything on the line for Aubrey. He may not have a clan anymore, but the alpha blood still coursed through his veins, and he needed to start acting like it.
After they landed at the station
and put away their gear, Brett put on some tennis shoes and went for a long run. His shift was over, but he wasn’t ready to go home quite yet. Despite the energy he had just expended on a rescue mission, he felt amped up. He needed to get his legs moving and have some time to think. As he ran, he tried to figure out the best way to shoot for another chance with Aubrey. After coming up with and dismissing several ideas for various reasons, the perfect idea finally came to him. A smile slowly spread across his face as he turned around and began running back toward the air station.
He had some shopping to do.
Chapter Twelve
Early the next evening, Brett showed up on Aubrey’s doorstep. He held a small package, which had been gift-wrapped professionally by the saleswoman at the department store. Brett had no abilities when it came to gift-wrapping, so he had been thrilled when the lady offered to do it for him. He had also picked up a dozen red roses from a florist shop. The florist had arranged them beautifully in a large glass vase, and Brett had wrapped his left arm carefully around the vase before ringing Aubrey’s doorbell.
When he had arrived at Aubrey’s house, her car was nowhere to be seen. He rang her doorbell anyway, but there was no answer, as he had expected. Unsure of what to do, he sat on her doorstep to wait. She might be out on the ocean on a research excursion for all he knew, but if she had just gone out for dinner or drinks with some coworkers then she would be probably show up here sometime tonight. Hopefully that was the case. Brett tried not to think about the possibility that she might be out on a date with someone. She had always been so adamant that she didn’t have time to date, so he crossed his fingers that she hadn’t suddenly found the time since she had stopped talking to him.
Brett sat there for almost two hours, fidgeting, watching cars pass, and browsing the internet on his cell phone. He had made it about halfway through an article of funny dog pictures when he was startled back to reality by Aubrey’s voice.
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