by S. M. Soto
Guilty much, Aliza? My conscience remarks.
The first place my eyes travel to is the woman, Erin, who he’s been talking to. Well, yelling at, I should say. She towers over me in her sky-high heels, and I’ve never felt smaller. Her hair is dyed in a blonde ombré and her face is undeniably pretty. I can tell she’s had lip injections and maybe even cheek fillers to give her more prominent features. Although, it just makes her look like a plastic doll, but hey, that never stopped the Kardashian’s and they still look good—fake yes, but undeniably pretty. She has long legs that go on for miles, curves the shape of a coke bottle, and a perfect set of breasts. She’s sculpted to perfection, and I dislike her immediately.
“Aliza?” My gaze quickly snaps to his—Chase’s brows are furrowed, and confusion is written all over his face. I feel the moment Erin’s beady brown eyes land on me; looking me up and down. Out of the corner of my eye I see her shrivel her nose in disgust and cross her arms over her large chest.
“You know her?” Erin sneers in disbelief. Chase doesn’t answer he just continues to stare at me like he can’t wrap his head around the fact that I’m standing before him.
Great, he probably thinks I’m a stalker.
I can’t help the little pang of jealously I feel when I get a good look at Chase. I haven’t seen much of him around work lately so this sudden run in has me feeling like a dehydrated woman in the desert with a fine bottle of Voss water placed before her. He’s dressed comfortably in basketball shorts a workout shirt and running shoes. His hair is a hot shaggy mess and those blue eyes pierce right through my soul. Damn this man and his rugged good looks.
Don’t stare too long Aliza, don’t stare too long! My mind screams at me.
“What are you doing here?” He asks still looking confused and slightly irritated. Just as I’m about to tell him I was shopping, the woman who caught me earlier cuts right in.
“She was eavesdropping,” she accuses with her arms still crossed over her chest, looking down at me like I carry Ebola or something that can be contracted from sharing the air I breathe. I narrow my eyes and pin her with a glare before turning back to Chase, who now looks just plain confused. I muster up my least guilty looking expression before whipping my head back to little miss snitch.
“I was not,” I emphasize the not before turning back to Chase, “eavesdropping. I was shopping.” I gesture around the store with my hands. “You know, something normal people do on their days off,” I add with a little more contempt than necessary. Chase nods his head like it makes sense and Erin scoffs in disbelief still glaring at me along with her other minion. I shift on my feet wondering if I wish hard enough, maybe, just maybe I’ll become invisible.
“I was done here anyway; let me give you a ride home, Aliza.” Chase offers.
Huh. I guess wishing wasn’t necessary.
Chase gives me a pleading look to accept his offer and I understand immediately that he just wants to get the hell out of here.
How can I possibly say no?
“Sure.”
“Fuck no!” Erin and I reply in unison.
She pierces me with a hate stare and I quickly look to Chase for help. He’s glaring at Erin who is now in turn, fuming. I mean seriously, I think I see little clouds of steam blowing out of her ears.
“We’re leaving,” Chase says to Erin coldly while stepping beside me. “I better see that key left on my front porch Erin. I’m not fucking kidding.”
Chase places his hand on my lower back and quickly leads me out of what will be forever known as the ‘death glare’ store. I immediately register his hand placed on my lower back, and the heat that emanates from it sends a zip of energy screaming through my veins.
Act natural, Aliza.
Chapter Nineteen
Chase leads me to his Range Rover parked outside of Erin’s store without a word. He opens my door for me and makes sure I’m safely seated inside before closing it. I briefly close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to gather my wits. His car smells of leather and spice, invading my head and any rational sense I once had prior to now. I have to physically restrain myself from groaning aloud from the smell of his car alone. The driver side door swings open and Chase climbs in effortlessly. He swiftly turns the engine on and pulls out onto the street.
We drive for a few minutes in silence before it’s broken. He takes a deep breath and let’s it out roughly, his eyes slowly draw to mine.
“Sorry about all that back there.” His jaw ticks in irritation as he gathers himself.
“Don’t worry about it. No relationship is easy, so I get it.” I turn my head looking out the window to hide the jealousy that’s burning through me.
Why does knowing he’s been with her make me so angry?
I need help. Serious help.
I look out the window at the moving scenery consisting of greens, and blues, ignoring his stare boring into the side of my head.
“Erin is not, nor will she ever be my girlfriend.” He grunts getting riled up again. I’m thankful my head is facing the window to hide the small smile that spreads across my face at this news. Relief floods my body.
“You hungry?”
His left arm is draped over the steering wheel while his right hand is on the gear shifter. He angles his head to the side to look at me. My heart pounds against my chest, threatening to escape.
It’s just food, not a date. Chill out heart.
“A little,” I say quietly peeking at him through my lashes. His eyes travel all over my face before he licks his lips and lets out a deep breath.
“Let’s get something to eat then.”
Chase and I settle for some old-fashioned burgers and fries and I couldn’t be happier. I think the burgers here are twenty times better than back home. Or maybe I’ve just been living such a secluded life I didn’t even take the time to enjoy food anymore. I groan loudly as I take my first bite into the burger. Chase chuckles between his own bites.
“That good, huh?” He asks with a humorous glint in his blue eyes. I offer a closed mouth smile and a vigorous head nod. I swallow the last bit of the food in my mouth before attempting to speak.
“You have no idea. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten as good as this. Seriously.” I take a large sip of my iced tea. His smile deepens showcasing the creases in his cheeks. My heartbeat speeds up, and my stomach flutters wildly.
You’re too good looking for own good, I internally groan.
“What did you just say?” Chase asks. His lip twitches as he tries to suppress his smile.
I furrow my brows in confusion. “I didn’t say anything.”
A small knowing smile spreads across his face. “Really? I could’ve sworn you just said I was too good looking for my own good.”
All the air is forced out of my lungs, and heat rises to my cheeks. My face flushes an indecent shade of red at the smugness in his tone.
Oh God, did I really say that out loud?
I clear my throat and hastily wipe stray hairs behind my ears. My gaze shifts everywhere as I avoid looking at him. I scramble for something to say to quell my embarrassment.
“What I meant was you’re obviously a very good looking guy. I’m sure many women are very taken with you.”
His lip twitches and I start blurting the first things that come to mind.
“But I don’t mean me. I’m not like that.”
He raises a questioning brow, and that’s when the word vomit starts. “Not that I’m not attracted to you, because I totally am. I’m just saying I’m not one to jump into relationships.” My eyes widen and I quickly correct myself. “I know this isn’t a relationship. There’s nothing to jump into, per say.” I awkwardly make a jumping motion with my hand. Chase discreetly covers his mouth with his hand to stifle his chuckle and I swear my pulse is pounding so hard I can feel it throbbing in my head. Completely mortified, I drop my head into my hands trying to hide the embarrassment on my face.
“Why can’t I shut up?” I mumble from b
eneath my hands. Chase chuckles warmly, prompting me to peek through my fingers.
“Don’t worry about it. If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re just as good looking.” He winks and I nearly die a thousand deaths. My skin turns an indecent shade of red. His words are crisp and clear and they fall hard on my heart. My hands shake and my body jolts with a frisson of electricity.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pull my hands away from my face and try like hell to square my shoulders so I don’t feel like a complete moron. I try not to let his words get to me, but they’ve already rooted themselves someplace deep inside me.
Thankfully the awkwardness of the situation is put behind us and we finish off the rest of our meal discussing the easy stuff. How I like work so far. What we do for fun. That sort of thing.
“Reading.”
“Surfing.”
We both bust out laughing at our complete opposite hobbies.
“Oh God, you’re a surfer? How cliché.” I laugh and his lip turns up at the corners in a smile.
“Yeah, I know. I don’t do it as often anymore. Maybe once a year, for a special occasion.”
I furrow my brows. Special occasion? Why would someone need a special occasion to surf?
I shrug it off and our conversation continues to flow effortlessly. It’s not forced like most conversations usually are, it’s free and comfortable.
“Serious question, how do you feel about Italian food? I literally crave it every day of my life,” I tell him in complete seriousness before finishing off the rest of my fries. His face sours, and his nose scrunches up, making him look completely adorable.
“Pasta’s not really my thing. Now Mexican food? Feed me some tacos with rice and beans, and I’m set for life.” He jokes, now it’s my turn to scrunch my face up.
We spend most of our meal laughing. Quickly realizing how much we have in common, and equally don’t have in common. For once in a long time, I feel at ease; like there’s no black shadow hovering over me.
“Favorite song, one, two, three, go!” Chase says and I gape at him.
“Seriously?” I exclaim, staring at him incredulously. “How the hell do I pick a song in three seconds? It’s just not realistic.”
Chase tosses his head back on a laugh. My eyes train on his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. My body heats from watching the small act, and I shift in my seat. He controls his laughter and leans across the table an inch closer to me.
“It’s simple. Mine is Baby Got Back.”
I choke on my shake nearly spitting it out of my mouth and into his face from my laughter. I quickly gather napkins and helplessly try to clean up the small mess and not die from my laughter.
“You’re kidding, right?” I say through my fit of laughter.
“What?” He asks in a mock serious tone. “It’s a classic. You can’t not love it.”
I get my laughter and my breathing under control and stare at him with a goofy smile on my face.
“You’re not what I expected you to be like. At all,” I say more to myself than to him. Normally, he gives off this unattainable, closed off vibe, but just now, I’ve seen a completely different side to the Chase I thought I knew. There are so many layers to the man before me; I haven’t begun to peel the surface. He looks taken aback at my statement. Shifting in his chair he leans back, exposing his impeccable physique hidden beneath his clothes.
“Oh yeah?” He asks with a crooked smile that shows off the crease in his cheek. “And what were you expecting?” He arches his brow playfully waiting for my response. I pretend to look up at the ceiling like I’m thinking hard about my answer.
“Hmmm. I was honestly expecting you to be a hard ass. Definitely not the playful guy I’ve gotten to know today,” I say truthfully. His blue eyes pierce straight through me, and my face heats and warmth starts to build in my core. I dart my eyes away feeling slightly embarrassed for being so honest.
Chase reaches across the table and tucks stray hairs behind my ear. My breath hitches, getting lodged in my throat and my heart beats wildly in my chest at the sweet gesture. I force my eyes back to his and find him staring at me so intensely it causes a shiver to run down my spine. My body tingles at the small touch and my blood rushes to all the places it shouldn’t.
“I’m glad I wasn’t what you expected,” he says quietly.
My heart skips a few beats at his heated gaze and butterflies flutter around my stomach. I no longer care that we’re in a restaurant with other people; all I can see is Chase. I drop my eyes to his full lips and have the urge to place my mouth against his to see what it would feel like.
Would he take control? How does he taste? Would I be able to enjoy it?
Chase notices my straying eyes and licks his lips sending a fresh wave of heat between my legs. Our eyes dart back and forth, lips to eyes lips to eyes. Something rolls over his features and he lets out a resigned breath leaning back in his seat and swiftly away from the heat of the moment.
“You’re not what I expected either,” he says honestly. Goosebumps travel across my skin. “With how we first met and all, I just didn’t expect you to be how you are,” he elaborates.
That gets my back up and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. Great, he thinks I’m crazy. Probably thinks I’m a train wreck. He must sense what I’m thinking.
“You’re...different. You react to things like you’ve never experienced anything like it before. There’s something about you that’s hard to look away from. I can’t put my finger on it. Your eyes…they’re so sad…but so beautiful,” he says quietly, almost to himself. His response hits me right in the core, warming my body from head to toe. I bite down on my bottom lip to stop the huge smile from spreading across my face.
“You’re kinda funny, too.” He says with a smile and a wink. My heart trips in my chest and I stifle my smile. I subconsciously grip my necklace to ground me and slow my obnoxious heart. His eyes travel to my neck and once the words are out of his mouth my body goes rigid.
“It’s pretty.” Chase gestures to my chest where my locket lays. “I’ve noticed you always play with it,” he says observantly.
It feels like I’ve been kicked in my gut and someone knocked all the breath out of me. The moment we just shared together is now gone. Poof. My eyes blankly zone in on my empty plate. I’m on the cusp of breaking down, my heart beating so fast in my chest that I can barely breathe. My heart constricts painfully as the world starts to crush me with its weight. Out of habit, I grip the locket in my hand even tighter and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the pain to vanish. The ringing in my ears gets louder as I try to control my now ragged breaths. The anxiety is rising and I can’t do anything to stop it. I hear movement across from me, but I can’t focus on it.
Suddenly a rough but gentle hand is cradling my face. I find myself taking a deep breath before peeling open my moist eyes. I’m now face to face with a panicked Chase.
“Hey, hey,” he says gently while cradling my face in his hands. Even through my pain, my body still reacts to his touch.
“You okay? We can leave right now; just tell me what to do, Aliza,” He says with his brows pulled down in worry.
I place my small trembling hand over his that’s still cradling my face.
“I’m ready to go home,” I say, squeezing the words past the lump in my throat. A look of disappointment flits across his face but he immediately shakes it off and nods his head. He helps me to my feet and quickly leaves a hundred-dollar bill on the table to avoid any interruptions from anyone. He guides me to his Range Rover protectively. Normally I would be swooning over the fact that Chase is being such a caring gentleman, but I’m so stuck in my own grief and memories that I can’t see past the pain. We drive in silence while he gives me a ride home. The only talking that’s done is the directions to my place. He pulls up in front of my condo and we sit in silence for what feels like forever. Next thing I know, my door is open and I’m being lifted from his truck and placed on my feet. I stare up into C
hase’s confused expression and want to throttle myself for ruining our time together. His crystal blue gaze travels over my face, before he reaches his hand out and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. My heart thunders so hard at the gesture, I think he might hear it.
“Thank you. I-I’m sorry about the way I acted.” My voice comes out quiet as I stare into a pair of the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.
“Don’t apologize.” He gives his famous half smile that’s just as sexy as his regular one and nods his head. His eyes are distant again—he’s back to his usual unattainable persona. His brows pull together and he turns away walking back to his car. I let out a defeated sigh and drag my feet inside. I toss myself onto my bed, and stare blankly at my ceiling. I contemplate every little aspect of my life, and where it’s taken me.
Life doesn’t care about feelings. It couldn’t give a shit about who you’ve lost, or who you want to be with. Life will suck you into a tornado and expect you to come out unscathed. It will do everything it can to break you until all you know is the pain that comes with the chaos. Life will build you up, time and time again, only to knock you down, smiling while doing it. Sometimes, life is a real son of a bitch.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning, I have my usual coffee and cookies with Mr. Walker again before I have to get ready for my big girl’s night out with Natalia and Sam. We talked about my mortifying meltdown and thankfully he didn’t scold me for closing down on Chase the way I did. Mr. Walker advised that I get back up and try again; which I found completely hilarious because I’m pretty sure that it’s a line from a song. Unable to control my laughter Mr. Walker left huffing and grumbling under his breath. Oops.
***
After yesterday’s meltdown in front of Chase I can’t get rid of this tight ball of dread sitting in my stomach. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. Can I even handle a girl’s night out? I couldn’t even handle a question about my necklace. Group messages between the girls and I have been going off alerting me all day of what’s in store for tonight.
