by Karen Kay
“Yes,” he said, and nothing more. He wasn’t certain how capable he was of speaking at the moment, for the desire still burned deeply within him.
“But you…” she said, “you didn’t have the same release, did you?”
He grinned, the effect being lost in her hair, where his face had come to rest. However, he managed to say, “Not yet.”
“But you must.”
He couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. He said, “I assure you, my love, that it is not over yet.”
“It isn’t?”
He shook his head, a very slight movement. “That place where I was caressing you…”
“Yes?”
“That is where our bodies will join; soon, very soon.”
“Oh,” she said, as though she hadn’t known.
He came up onto his elbows and gazed down at her. Her eyes were wide, and he couldn’t help but ask, “You knew that, didn’t you?”
She shook her head.
And he sighed. What sort of a people, he wondered, did not make known to their young girls the pleasure to be had between a man and a woman? Did they not care that a woman’s reputation hinged on such things? For without complete knowledge of the nature of men, as well as the nature of women, a girl might fall victim to the first boy to give her attention.
Still, he would not mar this moment with further criticism of her society. Hadn’t he done that enough?
Brushing his fingers over the soft skin of her neck, then further still to her breast, he said, “A man and a woman are meant to join in this way. There is much pleasure to be had in the act, but it will hurt at first.”
“I know,” she said. “It is the one thing that I know about it. That it hurts.”
“That is all?”
She nodded.
He sighed. He knew of no other way to indoctrinate her in the truth, except perhaps by example. He asked, “Have you never watched animals mate?”
“Well, no, not really.”
He grinned. “Then you will have to trust me. I promise that if you will bear the pain, there is more pleasure to be had.”
“Trust you?” She paused as though confused. Then, “Soaring Eagle. Please show me, please.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. “I will,” he said, “I will.”
He kissed her while he moved over her. Slowly at first, so that he didn’t overwhelm her, he gradually sought to become one with her in a most physical sense.
He felt her pain as though it were his own. “There is no stopping it this first time,” he said. “I am sorry.”
She nodded.
But for him, it was pure pleasure, pure beauty. Leaning down, he took her lips with his own, all the while making small movements.
At first she stiffened.
And he stopped…but only for a moment. Then another tiny movement. Another stall. Holding back, always holding back. Over and over, he repeated the movement, controlling himself until he felt her at last relax.
Coming up onto his forearms, he asked, “Has the pain gone?”
“Not completely,” she responded. “But it’s getting better.”
He nodded. He rested, then engineered another tiny thrust, followed by another and another, until she pulled him down to her and whispered in his ear, “The pain has gone.”
Simple words, yet with this knowledge, he was filled with such delight, he could little understand it, and pleasure surged through him so quickly that he almost lost himself at that moment. Control, control, he cautioned himself.
But if he thought to take charge of their lovemaking completely, he was in for a surprise, for she began to move with him.
He sucked in his breath. The sensuality of feeling was exquisite…almost too much. Still, he held back. For, he thought, might it not be possible to give her yet more pleasure? Aa, yes, this he would do for her before he sought his own.
He moved little, suppressing his urge, controlling himself as best he could. And then it happened. So close were they, so attuned, he felt her begin the upward spiral yet again. Luckily, he had been keeping most of his weight away from her, leaning on his elbows, and so he was able to catch her look of surprise. Ah, what a treasure, that glance.
She said, “Soaring Eagle, I feel it again.”
“I know. I sense it in you, too.”
“But you? I would have you—”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“But—”
“Your pleasure gives me pleasure.”
“Oh,” was all she uttered before she began a series of rapid movements. She strained against him, fidgeting with him, over and over, until… He drew in a rapid breath. Hold steady, he cautioned himself. Just a little longer.
And then it happened. As though he had become a vital part of her, he felt the tide of frenzy within her begin to peak, and in reaction, his mind went blank. He surged forward and upward, giving her all he had to give.
They peaked together, their urgent moans, their heartfelt groans mixing one with the other until it would have been hard to tell where one stopped and the other began.
At last, he collapsed against her. His body was spent. Yet there was about him an element that rejoiced. It was as though he were part of the body, yet separate from it. In truth, from a distance above, he seemed to look down upon the two of them.
And then the oddest thing happened: suddenly she was there beside him. She whom he loved with all his heart; she whom he had promised his devotion; she shared this moment with him, his very space. And if it were possible, a feeling of intimacy much greater than that of the physical swept over him. It was as though he knew her every thought…and in doing so, had found her beautiful.
And he knew in that moment that he loved her more than life itself. Ah, what joy. What complete happiness…
Chapter Sixteen
And they were of much pride and dignity; that one could see at a glance.
—James Willard Schultz, My Life as an Indian
“Build your fires, prepare your breakfast,” sang out the voice of the camp crier. “We have a new Medicine Pipe owner. Sitting Beaver has smoked the pipe with Comes Running Bird. All look to your hearts that you might help provide the feast and share in the cost, for this thing that happens is very honorable. Be quick. The ceremony will begin with the rising of the sun. Bring what you can. Everyone come.”
The drums began.
Kali awoke, feeling more than a little strange. What was that around her waist? And that over her breasts?
Was it an arm? A leg? Dear Lord!
Whose?
Her eyelids flew wide. She peeked over to her right.
Soaring Eagle. It was Soaring Eagle. And he was naked. Naked.
She glanced downward at herself. And so was she. Worse, the feeling of something sticky at the junction of her legs gave her warning that all was not as it should be. Shock, alarm and more than a little outrage filled her.
She glanced upward, espying a scattering of stars through the opening at the top of the tepee. Tepee? Where was she?
“Wake up.” Shoving at Soaring Eagle’s arm, she sat up, holding a blanket over her chest. Avoiding the fire to her left because the embers were still red-hot, she quickly felt around the ground for her clothes. They had to be here somewhere.
Soaring Eagle came awake in an instant, jumping to his feet and grabbing hold of his weapons, his gun and knife.
“What has happened?” he asked, his voice deep and choked with the aftereffects of sleep. “Is there an enemy?”
“Yes,” Kali said, glaring at him. “Me.”
“You?”
He looked at her as though she might have suddenly grown horns. But Kali was having none of that.
“How could you take advantage of me, seduce me, when I was sleeping?”
“Me? Take advantage of you?”
“Yes,” she said, her ire building. “That’s what it’s normally called, isn’t it? And where are my clothes?”
He gave
her another one of those confused looks, as though he had only become aware of their state of dress—or rather their lack of it.
He said, “It was real…? I thought I was dreaming… I—I did not do this. Not consciously.”
“Oh, really? I suppose you’re going to try to convince me next that I seduced you?”
“I—I…” he stuttered.
Though Kali recognized his frustration and his fluster for exactly what they were, she was not about to give quarter. Throwing back her shoulders, she tossed him what she hoped was her most smug, most condescending look.
“I cannot explain this,” he went on to say, “except to tell you that, though I am aware of how bad this appears, I did not seduce you. I would not have taken you to me without your consent, and certainly not without marriage.”
“A likely story.” She thrust out her chin. “Tell that to my father and the Indian agent and see if they believe you.”
It was a threat. Even to her own ears, it sounded like a threat. Not that she would ever act on it, but she wasn’t going to take the words back.
Darn him. At this moment, she felt mad enough to roast him alive.
“Where are my clothes?” She stared up at Soaring Eagle, not bothering to disguise her animosity nor her contempt, as though she expected him to be on his hands and knees, helping her search.
Instead of giving her assistance, he stood ramrod straight, appearing as though he might have become an image in stone. And all at once a deadening silence filled the space around them, while a mask of stoicism descended over his features. It gave Kali cause for some alarm, for she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Couldn’t tell if he was as angry as she.
She also noticed that his nakedness seemed not to bother him at all, though it did a great deal to plague Kali. For, despite her indignation, she couldn’t help but admire him. What a magnificent specimen of manhood he presented.
“Soaring Eagle, could you please cover yourself? I know it is dark in here, but not that dark.” She glanced around the space as though his cooperation were assured, nothing of concern. “Where are we?” she added.
But he stirred not at all, although she noticed that he did take a moment to scan his surroundings. He said, his expression, even his tone of voice, barren of emotion, “We are in a lodge, though I don’t know whose tepee this is. I do not recognize it.”
“I see.” She grimaced. “Let me ensure that I understand this correctly. You just happened to find a deserted tepee to have your way with me?”
Soaring Eagle let his stoicism slip for a moment as he frowned. He said, “I had a dream, but I—”
“A dream? I think this is more than a dream. And you are going to have to do some pretty fancy explaining. Here, help me find my clothes. The camp crier has announced that the Medicine Pipe ceremony is about to begin.”
Soaring Eagle didn’t budge, not to aid her, not to clothe himself.
“Soaring Eagle, please. If you don’t want me to cause trouble, you had better help me.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Another threat?”
Tears of frustration filled Kali’s eyes. This was terrible, a complete disaster. She was missing it, missing the beginning of the pipe ceremony. Not only that. She was in the process of alienating the one person who had, thus far, offered her assistance.
But what other choice did she have? She couldn’t very well pretend that nothing had happened between them.
“Damn!” She spit out the word.
“Do white women often curse?” he asked, his voice, his manner, still void of emotion.
“No…yes, white women often curse if there’s reason, and I think I have grounds for plenty more where that came from.” Raising the buffalo robe on which she sat, Kali felt beneath it, her fingers coming in contact with some sort of material. She pulled and heaved a sigh of relief…it was her dress.
“So do I,” he said.
“I beg your pardon? So do you what?” She drew her arms through the dress.
But he didn’t elaborate. Instead he said, “Gilda is your friend, is she not?”
“She is my guide. But what has that got to do with—”
“What is the last thing you consciously remember?”
Kali thought for a moment. Consciously? She bit her lip, for she, too, had been dreaming…wonderful, pleasant dreams about herself, about Soaring Eagle…
Kali shook her head. “I remember that Gilda came and told me that my father couldn’t come here until morning.”
“Is that all?”
“No.” Kali glanced up to send him a glare. “You know very well that she sang songs for us.”
“And then?”
Kali frowned. “That’s all I remember. I fell asleep.”
He nodded. “As did I.”
“What are you trying to tell me? That Gilda did this to me? To you?”
He didn’t answer.
And Kali frowned. What, after all, did she really know about Gilda?
“I don’t have time for this,” Kali observed at last. “If I don’t hurry, I’m going to miss—”
“I will not leave this spot until this matter is settled between the two of us.”
Kali felt as though the air had been forcefully dragged from her. “Y-you,” she stuttered, “w-will not leave? But I must. I must go—”
“I will not let this thing, this misunderstanding, come between us.”
“It is already between us.”
“Then you are willing for me to think the worst of you?”
“The worst of me? What are you talking about? I…I am the injured party. I’m the one who woke up to find myself in the most compromising situation a woman can be in. And you…you are threatening to think the worst of me? Soaring Eagle, I don’t give a…what you think of me.”
“Yet,” he said matter-of-factly, “you should. After all, Gilda is your friend, your guide, not mine.”
“What’s that got to do with—?”
“What else am I to believe?”
Kali shrugged, as though to reiterate her lack of interest.
“You, with your beauty and sweet talk,” he said. “You manage to charm your way into my affection, endeavor to enlist my aid in bringing you to my village. And what do you do? You set your guide upon us.”
“I set my…? Oh, this is too much.”
“Is it? Suppose for a moment that I am as innocent as you say you are. You have already told me that I will need to explain myself to your father and the Indian agent as soon as we leave here—why? In order to have me arrested?”
Kali’s mouth opened. “I—I—”
“Did you come here only to cause trouble, sweet Kali?”
“You know that can’t possibly be true.”
He arched a brow, his look disbelieving.
“All right. Suppose, just suppose that I am a troublemaker, and that’s my only intention. Explain to me, then, why I would set this all into motion before the Medicine Pipe ceremony? Why would I do that when I still very much need your help?”
“Yes, why, indeed? Unless you are not here to see the ceremony, but to—”
“Oh, really. This is absurd.”
He ignored her. “Tell me, what sort of magic did Gilda possess that let you accomplish this?”
“Me accomplish…? Magic?”
“Aa, magic,” he said, leaning toward her as though he might either threaten her or kiss her. At the moment, Kali didn’t know which was the most dangerous. He continued, “I think we have experienced more than an illusion, Kali.”
She snorted. “We?”
“I dreamed we were married. Did you, too?”
“I…” Kali clamped down on whatever it was she’d been about to say. Yes, she had dreamed they were married…and more. But that wasn’t real. That had been a dream, for heaven’s sake. Besides, she wasn’t about to admit anything to Soaring Eagle right now.
He asked, “Where is Gilda?”
Kali stared around the room as though the wo
man might materialize at the mere mention of her name. She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Then let us go and find her and determine from her the truth or not of your vows.”
“My vows? What vows have I given you?”
His look at her was patronizing, as though he might be speaking to a child. Nevertheless, he said, “You have told me that you are here to help my people, to record our history in pictures. I believed you and have told this to the council. But now I have reason to doubt you, and I fear that perhaps you only spouted words at me that you believed I needed to hear.”
Kali swallowed hard. What sort of a silver-tongued devil was this man? Perhaps she had underestimated exactly how intelligent he was, for he had scarcely said more than a few words, yet he was somehow managing to turn this entire plight around on her.
Well, fine. Good. He was free to believe whatever he might, but he could do his fancy talking elsewhere; she wasn’t about to put up with it. And she wasn’t going to defend herself, either. She had no need. Instead, she said simply, “How like a man.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, how like a man,” she said with a little more gusto, holding the blanket up around her so that she could settle her dress around her hips and over her legs as she spoke. “Only a man,” she continued, “could get himself into a compromising situation and then seek to extricate himself by making it appear as if the problem is all the woman’s doing. Well, I won’t be having it, Mr. Soaring Eagle. I’ve told you the truth about myself, about my intentions, whether you decide to believe me or not. It’s not my fault that I awoke to find myself…in trouble.” She glanced up, and despite herself, she gulped. What a spectacular image he presented, for he had not bothered to hide any of his assets from her.
She looked away and began searching for her Turkish trousers, the ones that fit beneath her skirt. “Please, Soaring Eagle, if we are to talk, I would ask that you clothe yourself.”
Kali had found her trousers and was about to pull them on when she realized she couldn’t. They were unbearably soiled and stained from her late-night affaire d’amour. She blushed. How terribly personal, for the clothing was marked in a way that spoke of her very recent departure from maidenhood.
