by Karen Kay
The drums began again, this time softly.
“Mat’-ah-kwi tam-ap-i-ni-po-ke-mi-o-sin. Waai’tomo…” The old man spoke on and on in hushed tones, but whatever it was that he said remained unknown to Kali.
At last he ceased speaking and bent to pick out two feathers from the unrolled bundle. They were eagle feathers. One of these he gave to Soaring Eagle. The other he gave to her.
Next came a blessing. Waving a burning piece of sage first over Soaring Eagle and then her, Comes Running Bird honored them, weaving the smoke up and down Soaring Eagle’s body, then hers. Up over the head again. Down over the shoulders to the feet. Up again.
At last, Comes Running Bird took back one feather and then the other, laying both at the feet of Sitting Beaver.
“Iniiyi’taki,” he said, then in English. “The spirits are now happy.”
And it was done, but what it was exactly that was done Kali couldn’t have said.
More than a little curious, she ached with the need to ask a torrent of questions.
Good manners, however, forbade her doing anything more than taking her seat. The rest of the ceremony blurred for her, and she barely heard or saw anything further.
She sat stiffly. Even the drums ceased to stir her mood, and she no longer touched Soaring Eagle. In truth, she was afraid to.
The drumming went on and on. The singing went on and on. Dancers stood up, danced and were again seated. At last it was sunset, and the ceremony was about to come to an end.
And it couldn’t have come fast enough for Kali.
Comes Running Bird arose and led Sitting Beaver and his wife out of the lodge, where they all, in turn, faced the four directions, chanting.
It was the signal to the guests that the ceremony had, at last, come to a conclusion. At long last.
Kali made to rise, her stiff muscles protesting at the movement.
Soaring Eagle, however, held her back. “Not yet,” he said. “Remain where you are and keep smiling.”
“All right. But why?” she asked.
He shrugged. “You will see soon enough.”
One by one the people filed out of the lodge, all except for herself and Soaring Eagle. The two of them remained seated.
Kali waited.
One by one the people returned, each person bearing a gift, which they gave either to Kali or to Soaring Eagle.
“Is this for me?” she asked Soaring Eagle after a woman had placed a beautifully beaded dress at her feet.
“Aa,” he said.
“But I can’t—”
“Sh-h-h. Here comes another.”
It was a dark-haired, elderly woman, and like all the rest, she held a present in her hand: a beautifully beaded pair of moccasins. She squatted beside and a little behind Kali, and leaning forward, began chattering away in Blackfeet. All the while she drew Kali into her arms, hugging her.
Taking Kali’s face into her hands, she stared at her for some moments before again beginning to prattle. And when she smiled, it was a big, wide affair, one that showed a missing tooth. “Wel…come…” she said in English, tears in her eyes. And with a final hug, she rose to her feet and left.
“My grandmother,” supplied Soaring Eagle.
Kali gave him a wide-eyed stare as the pieces suddenly fell into place. She said, “They know, about us.” It was no question.
He nodded.
Dumbfounded, Kali’s voice mirrored her confusion. “It was a marriage ceremony that your father performed, wasn’t it?”
Soaring Eagle once more inclined his head, saying, “He did as the spirits directed him.”
“As the spirits directed him… And yet, the spirits married us first.”
“But you did not believe.”
Kali gulped. “Why would they care? And what spirits?”
“The spirits of my ancestors, perhaps yours, too.”
“Mine? I have no relatives here.”
Soaring Eagle turned toward her, his gaze seeking out hers in what was a long, studious look, as though he might be looking at her for the first time. He said, “Are you certain?”
“Of course I’m certain.”
He didn’t say a word, and it was some time before he turned his sights away from her, staring out into the dying embers of the lodge fire. And he uttered, almost under his breath, “I, for one, no longer am.”
“You are no longer what?”
He sighed. “My sweet wife, I am no longer certain that you are completely white, at least not spiritually…”
Chapter Nineteen
As in civilised society, so among the Blackfeet, the woman suffered, but the man went free.
—Walter McClintock, The Old North Trail
Not white spiritually? The thought made her want to laugh, except this was no laughing matter.
She sighed. So much for keeping their affair a secret. It might have been more discreet had she taken out a notice in the Helena Herald.
Well, she had no one to blame but herself. She was the one who had needed to dance.
There was another scratch at the entrance.
“Piit, enter,” Soaring Eagle called out.
Comes Running Bird ducked his large frame through the entryway and came to stand at his full height. He was quickly followed by the appearance of a man’s boot, gaiters and trousers. Finally the whole man appeared, a medium-sized, elderly fellow dressed in a gentleman’s shooting suit, complete with a rifle strapped over one arm and a large bag over the other.
“Father!” Kali called out.
“Kalifornia.” His voice was full of affection. “Forgive me, Kali, but I wasn’t able to get here any sooner. It appears, however, that I’ve missed all the fun. Comes Running Bird tells me that you’ve managed to obtain some photographs of their Medicine Pipe ceremony.”
“Yes.”
“Well,” said Wallace, coming forward, “you’ve done well. I’m proud of you.” He smiled and started across the circle.
But Kali caught him before he had taken a step. “Father,” she said, “you should scoot around to the back of me. It’s bad manners to come between a person and the fire.”
“Oh, is that right? Well, fine, then.” Dutifully, he paced around the circle and came up beside her, squatting down to Kali’s left. He said, “Shall I have our man gather up the equipment and start loading it into the wagon?”
“Hmmm. I’m not certain, Father. I’m afraid I have something to tell you.”
“Do you? That’s fine then, m’dear. We’ll talk in a minute,” her father replied. Then, “Kalifornia, what are all these clothes piled up in front of you? Are they gifts of some sort?”
“Yes, they are, Father.”
He harrumphed once, then again. “Indeed, you must have made quite an impression. And to think you were concerned that the Indians might not like you. It’s as I told you now, isn’t it? You haven’t failed me yet.”
“Haven’t I? I’m not so sure of that,” she said softly, almost beneath her breath. Then more clearly, “Father, we need to talk.”
“Yes, yes, my dear. In a minute.”
There was another scratch at the entryway.
“Piit,” called out Soaring Eagle, switching his attention from watching Kali and her father to focusing on the entrance.
Meanwhile William Wallace, unaware of any tension, picked up Kali’s hand and, placing it in his own, said, “I have some important news for you, Kalifornia.”
Gilda entered.
“Ah,” said Wallace, glancing up, “there’s our guide now.”
Kali frowned. “Did you ask her to come here, Father?”
“Yes, yes, of course I did. We’ll need her assistance to guide us back to the agent’s house.” He coughed, then chuckled. “I’m afraid I don’t know my way back.”
“But I do, Father. And in truth, I don’t think we need this guide anymore.”
“What? Not need our guide?”
Kali shrugged. “At least not this one.”
“Has she done
something unpleasant, m’dear?”
“Not exactly unpleasant,” said Kali, “but yes, she has definitely done something. Father, I have much to tell you.”
Meanwhile, Gilda glided around the outer circle, stopping behind Kali. Bending forward, she offered Kali a beautiful, tanned, white buffalo robe, which was meticulously painted and quilled.
Kali accepted the gift with some reluctance, even though the robe was warm to the touch, butter-soft and felt wonderfully luxurious.
Gilda said, “I’taamiksistsikowa. This is happy day.”
But Kali was in no mood for niceties, and she replied, “Thank you, Gilda, but I think you will understand if I tell you that I want to speak to you.”
Gilda nodded. “When ceremony…done.”
“It is nearly done now. I doubt if I’d be missed if we were to step outside for a moment.”
Gilda shook her head. “More people…come with gifts. You…wait.”
“No, this is important. The gifts can wait.”
“It…bad manners if you leave now.”
Kali drew in her breath. Manners, social etiquette. She was becoming a little weary of being reminded of the “correct” behavior for this and that. Nonetheless, she said, “Very well. As soon as the ceremony is finished, we will talk. I will come and find you. Where will you be?”
“At your…lodge.”
“What lodge?”
“One you sleep in…last night.”
“The lodge? How do you know about that lodge?”
“All in tribe know of lodge.”
“All in the tribe know…? Oh, very well. I will meet you there.”
“I…wait.” This said, Gilda rose and stepped around toward Soaring Eagle. Bending once more, she placed a polished wooden bow in front of Soaring Eagle. The bowstring glittered as if covered with sparkling dust. Ten to fifteen perfectly straight arrows accompanied the lavish gift, the arrowheads shiny and reflecting the light as though they were made of gold.
Once again, Kali heard Gilda say, “I’taamiksistsikowa,” only this time she didn’t repeat the English translation.
Soaring Eagle leaned up toward her to reply, but whatever it was that he said to the woman, Kali would never know. He spoke in Blackfeet.
That’s when it happened.
Gilda leaned in closer to Soaring Eagle and placed both her hands on his shoulders, bending down to whisper something in his ear.
Kali felt an odd sensation flash through her.
Strange, it was nothing. The two of them were simply talking. Nothing to be alarmed about.
Still, Kali sat up a little straighter.
“A’wahkahtaan…” said Gilda, while Kali shifted uncomfortably.
“Nita’wahkahtaaniksi…” replied Soaring Eagle.
Gilda nodded, and then said in English, “Know…truth of…marriage. Meet…tonight…”
“Kalifornia.” Kali’s father interrupted her concentration. “We’re on a bit of a time schedule.”
“Are we?” Kali replied absentmindedly. “In a minute, Father.” She turned her attention back to Soaring Eagle and Gilda. But once again, the two of them were speaking in Blackfeet.
Obliquely, Kali watched Soaring Eagle as he conversed with Gilda. The other woman remained tightly poised, her hands still resting on Soaring Eagle’s shoulders.
Briefly, a tinge of anger stirred within Kali. It seemed to her that Soaring Eagle should release himself from Gilda’s hold. Why wasn’t he? And why was he leaning in toward her, as if the two of them had many things to discuss?
Did they? And if they did, what sort of matters did these two have in common?
Gilda nodded briefly in response to something Soaring Eagle had said, then whispered, loud enough for Kali to hear, “If you want learn…”
William Wallace cleared his throat. “I’m not sure I told you, Kalifornia, but-”
“Not now, Father. In a moment, please.”
“Meet me at edge of camp…by river…tonight…” came Gilda’s whispered words, clearly spoken in English.
Kali’s stomach plummeted.
Gilda is inviting Soaring Eagle to meet her at the edge of camp? By the river? By the same stream where Soaring Eagle and I have so recently…frolicked?
Kali sat still, momentarily stunned. Had she heard that correctly?
She shut her eyes, inhaled deeply, then opened her lashes and stared straight out in front of her. Yes, she had heard it accurately.
Sitting still, head up, shoulders back, Kali tried to retain her dignity, even as a tempest of confusion swept through her. Had these two betrayed her? Had she been deceived? Was Soaring Eagle carrying on an affair with Gilda?
Impossible… Or was it?
Weren’t men, and Indian men in particular, notorious for their affairs?
Though these thoughts flickered through her mind, Kali attempted to think reasonably. Simply because Gilda and Soaring Eagle were to meet by the river didn’t justify the assumption that they were enjoying an affaire d’amour. There was most likely a reasonable explanation behind the invitation. One she would elicit from Soaring Eagle as soon as she could catch him alone.
Still, despite her best efforts, Kali felt herself draw inward, as though every outward element of her attention had suddenly snapped back on her. Even the space around her seemed to contract, making her feel heavier, denser. And involuntarily, a sort of lethargy settled over her.
She groaned silently.
Should she have been more on guard with Soaring Eagle? Should she have tried to second-guess him?
Kali coughed, trying to take herself in hand. She scolded herself.
Nothing ever came from such speculation, and she was most likely working herself up over nothing. In faith, she couldn’t even see the two of them well enough to determine how close they really were to each other. It was all conjecture on her part; after all, Soaring Eagle had been most sincere this morning. She’d stake her life on it.
And yet, there he was…there Gilda was…the two of them together…whispering… It couldn’t be true, and yet…
Enough. Her thoughts were making her feel dizzy. She had to do something. What?
That’s when it came to her. She had to get away. She had to think. She needed space. Now. Whatever confrontation she had planned for Gilda was going to have to wait.
As though on cue, her father leaned toward Kali and, pulling out his pocket watch, said, “Kali, m’dear, it would be most proper if we took our leave. The governor of the territory is coming to see us. We’re to meet his train in East Glacier. Haven’t had a chance to tell you that, with all this going on, but that’s the news that I had for you…” His voice trailed off as he made to rise. “Come on, then, Kalifornia.” He reached out for her hand and must have turned his gaze on her, for Kali heard him gasp. “M’dear,” he said at once, “you’re looking a little pale. Are you all right?”
Kali nodded. She couldn’t speak.
“Perhaps we should leave at once. You had best thank your host and his son for their hospitality.”
But Kali felt incapable of anything at the moment, except maybe the act of escape. And she mumbled, “No, Father, I don’t believe any thanks are necessary.”
“Now, now, Kalifornia. Remember your manners, m’dear.”
Kali swallowed. Drat. There it was again. Manners, social polish, culture taboos. Why now? There had to be a few, precious times when a person’s own needs came first.
However, the habits of a lifetime were a hard thing to break, and setting herself to the task, Kali looked up, hoping to gain Comes Running Bird’s attention. Receiving it at once, she said, “Thank you for your kindness today.”
Comes Running Bird nodded.
“My father and I must be leaving,” Kali said.
Comes Running Bird simply nodded again.
Soaring Eagle, however, turned a glance on her. “Leaving? You are going? Now?”
But Kali couldn’t answer. Instead she remembered that Comes Running Bird migh
t be expecting payment of sorts for the ceremony he had performed. She would have to give him something. But what?
Leaning forward, she picked up the gifts which had thus far been given her, gifts that included the beautiful white buffalo robe. Scooting around Soaring Eagle and Gilda, giving them full berth, she made her way toward Comes Running Bird, stopping to the left side of him. With a hand signal and a nod, she said, “Soka’pii,” and placed the offerings before Comes Running Bird.
Comes Running Bird inclined his head, bestowing a smile on Kali as though he knew her turmoil and sympathized with her. He said, softly, for her ears alone, “Take heart…my daughter. What is to happen…must happen.”
But Kali did not understand, nor did she care to understand, not when all she could think of at the moment was how good it would feel to get away from here; back to safety, back to town, back to New England, back to a place where the world made sense.
Soaring Eagle smiled at her as she came around the circle, giving her the sign for “good.” And he said, as if the world were still a bright, sunny place, “That was a good thing that you did. It did not even require my reminder that my father needed payment.”
Kali stared at him as if she had never seen him until this moment. And she wondered, what on earth could she say to this man?
She sighed, glancing to the side; best to avoid him altogether. Thus, she made a move to leave.
But he grabbed hold of her hand. “Where are you and your father going?”
She couldn’t speak to him, not civilly. Not now. Perhaps later she might have a word or two with him. But at present, her heart was too numb, her thoughts too jumbled.
At length, squaring back her shoulders, Kali spared him a glance, noticing that Gilda had left. But she couldn’t hold his gaze for long, and looking away, she let her gaze alight on something familiar and dear: her father.
At last she knew what she had to say, what she had to do, and so she plunged, saying, “I’m going home.” She pulled at her hand.
Soaring Eagle held on to her tightly, however. “Home?” he said. “Do you mean to the tepee that has been set aside for us? Do you know where it is?”
“No,” she managed to say. An odd feeling came over her, as though she were no longer part of her body, although conversely she felt utterly trapped in it. She said, “I’m leaving here with my father. The governor of the territory is coming to visit and I have told my father that I will accompany him to the train station. Now, if you wouldn’t mind letting go of my hand.”
