by Sadie Carter
“Yes.”
“And then there was the way he spoke to me. The way he used to put me down.”
“Put you down?” He had to work hard to calm his temper.
“Yeah. It started off with small things at first. He didn’t like what I was wearing. Or the way I spoke. I had to learn not to swear because swearing was something common people did. Swearing was something whores did, and while my mother might be one, I didn’t want to end up like her, did I?” She laughed. “Only I did, didn’t I?”
She turned to stare at him. “Did you hear me? My mother was a whore.”
“I heard you.”
“Do you know what it means?” she demanded. There was a brittleness to her like she might snap at the wrong word, the wrong look. He had to tread carefully here. He only wished he was better at this emotional stuff. Emotions were not his friend. He had worked hard to control his, to keep them from exploding and turning him into someone he didn’t want to be.
The person his father had been.
“I know what a whore is. What of your father?”
“My father left when I was just a baby. I never knew him. We had nothing. We lived in this little trailer with one bedroom that Saff and I shared. There were holes in the walls. During winter we’d be constantly sick. My mother tried to find work, but she had no real skills, and no one would hire her. So she whored herself out for money.”
There was a long moment of silence.
“Well? Don’t you have something to say?”
He thought over his reply carefully. “It sounded like your mother did what she could to take care of her children.”
She paused, looking at him, clearly startled. “You’re not disgusted by her? By what she did?”
“No. I would do much worse for my family.”
“Oh. Oh.” She sat and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders moved up and down as he watched with alarm. Was she crying? What should he do? Should he offer to hold her? No, that would involve touching her, and he was too on edge to do that. Should he leave her alone? That didn’t feel right. Should he…
She looked up, interrupting his panic. There was no evidence of tears. Instead, she was smiling. That was…odd.
“Maxwell was so disgusted. He actually walked out on me after I told him that. I didn’t hear from him for weeks. I should have known then. He thought she was white trash and you…you would do worse for your family. I don’t deserve you, Toriq.”
She didn’t deserve him? No, she had it around the wrong way. It was he who didn’t deserve someone as special and precious as Sophie.
“You should run away from me.”
“I am not running. Nor will you. We are in this together, Sophie.”
She blinked, her gaze unwavering. “Together?”
“Together. I will not leave you. You will not leave me.”
“You won’t leave me.” There was wonder in her voice and perhaps some disbelief.
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died. Pneumonia. I was fifteen. Saffron took care of me. Things were hard. We never had much. We lived in some bad neighborhoods, but Saffron protected me from a lot of it. It’s affected us both in different ways. Saffron still hoards stuff sometimes, she finds it hard to trust. And I, well, I fell for the first man who promised to take care of me.”
She hadn’t had an easy life. And she had not known much kindness or caring. He didn’t know that he had much of either in him, but what he did have he would give to her.
“Was that the only time he hit you?” he asked abruptly.
She looked startled, then nodded. “Yes. He was never physically abusive before then. Verbally abusive, yes, although I didn’t see it at the time. But not physical.”
He clenched his hands into fists. He wished for just a few minutes with this Maxwell. He would teach him to never hurt a female again.
“I will not let him near you or the baby.”
She licked her lips, looking nervous. “I know you won’t. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. Toriq?”
“Yes?”
“Are you angry? About the baby? Because it’s not yours?”
Angry that she was pregnant? How could she think that? A baby was a blessing. He had told her that the baby was his. Did she not believe him? “I am not angry. And he is mine.”
He walked forward, staring down at the slight bump. Was she big enough? Mila was much larger. Although she was further along and her build was much bigger. Sophie was slight, too slight to give birth to a baby, surely.
“What are you thinking?”
“I am concerned that you are too small to give birth.”
“Oh.” Her body relaxed slightly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about the birth, but I guess lots of other women do it. Women who are smaller than me.”
“But they are not my female.”
She smiled slightly. “I bet it’s hard for you guys, having this out of your control.”
“If I could carry it I would.”
She laughed. “Now that would be a sight to see.”
He knelt in front of her. “May I touch? I will be gentle.”
“I never thought you would be anything else,” she told him, surprising him. Did she not fear that he could accidentally hurt her? It worried him.
He gently placed his palm on her belly. She laid her hand on his. “I haven’t felt him move yet, but I hope it will happen soon.”
“He is a miracle.” He looked up at her. “You are a miracle.”
Red flushed her cheeks, and her eyes glittered. “I wouldn’t say that exactly. I’ve got enough issues to flood the Titanic.”
“I do not know this Titanic, but I do know that I never expected a mate, let alone a baby. I will take care of you both.”
She cupped his cheek. “I know you will. You are an honorable man, Toriq. We haven’t known each other long, but I want you to know that I don’t think all men are like Maxwell. Not all men hurt and belittle women.”
Some of the tension in his stomach unravelled at her words.
She caressed her thumb over his cheek and he pulled away before the temptation to kiss her became too much to ignore. It felt too good to touch her.
Like coming home.
“You should rest. Do you need anything?”
“No. I’m fine.”
He nodded, stepping back further. “I must go to the training arena. If you have need, you can contact me.”
Sophie watched as Toriq walked away, feeling lost and a little bereft. She’d kind of thought he might kiss her. But then, they’d had one hell of a morning. He probably had a lot to process. She knew she did.
She laid back on the couch. She knew she wouldn’t sleep, but perhaps if she just lied there for a while, she’d feel better. She closed her eyes.
Just for a minute…
***
Toriq stood quietly, watching her sleep. He’d returned an hour ago to find Sophie asleep on the lounging chair. She looked so beautiful lying there. He resisted the urge not to reach out and brush his fingers down her skin.
His thoughts were consumed with her. He’d tried to excise her from his mind in the training arena. He’d fought warrior after warrior until there had been no one left willing to take him on. He’d seen the wary looks the other warriors had given him, the way they’d watched him carefully, as though concerned he might lose that control.
She lay so quietly, her face peaceful. What would he do if he ever lost her?
He wouldn’t.
Toriq ran his hand over his face. The mating fever rode him ferociously, demanding that he take her. Claim her.
He was at war with himself. Part of him wanting to join with her. Hard and fast. Long and slow. Until neither of them knew where one started and the other finished. The other part wanted to protect her. Wanted to wrap her in the finest of silks and place her somewhere where no one, himself included, would ever find her.
A buzzing sounded at the door, and he
quickly walked over to the door to let in the food crew. Stars, how long had he been standing there, watching her sleep?
Mating with a human was a very different expericence—or at least that’s what he’d been told. They liked to get to know their mate first.
He just had to be patient. He had to wait and keep a tight rein on his control. He might not be good with emotions and feelings, but he was strong. He would protect her with his body and ensure she never went without, even if he had to. He would be careful with her. Always.
He would not be like his father.
Looking after her physically should not be a challenge, but these human females seemed to be very emotional. They were given to bouts of tears. He did not wish Sophie to cry. But what should he do to prevent that? He was starting to think that perhaps he might need some advice on dealing with human mates. Perhaps he should speak to Koran about how he dealt with Mila. After all, she was also pregnant, and they had been mated for a while now.
Yes, Koran would be an expert in how to keep a human female happy and content.
He would speak to him in the morning.
Sophie woke to the most delicious scents, her stomach growling. She sat up, dazed and muddled. She blinked the blurriness from her eyes then let out a gasp as she saw Toriq over her, watching her.
“Toriq, hi. I, ah, must have fallen asleep.” She looked out the balcony doors and was shocked to realize that evening was falling. “Wow, I must have slept for hours.”
“I have spoken to Moroco.”
“Um, okay.” She knew he wasn’t much of a fan of chitchat, but she wasn’t following where he was going with this. “About what?”
“Your care.”
“My care?” She frowned slightly. “Why? There’s nothing wrong with the baby he didn’t tell me about is there?” Alarm filled her. Would they keep something like that from her? Moroco seemed like the type who believed in keeping the little woman from worrying. Well, Sophie didn’t intend to be kept out of anything that concerned her baby. “Tell me. Is there something wrong?”
Toriq shook his head. “No. The baby is fine.”
She placed her hand on her chest, relief flooding her system. “God, you really know how to scare a girl.”
He appeared slightly alarmed as he took a hesitant step back. “I did not mean to make you fear me.”
“I don’t fear you. I meant that you scared me when you said I needed care. Wait, what did you mean by that if there’s nothing wrong with the baby?”
“You are pregnant.”
Well, there was no disputing that. “I know.”
“You need to rest.”
“I just had a nap. A rather long one, didn’t you see me?” She knew he had because he’d been standing over her when she’d woken up. Just how long had he been standing there? What if she’d talked in her sleep? Or something worse? Mortification filled her.
“How long did you watch me sleep?” she asked.
“Not long.”
Thank God for that.
“Just an hour or so.”
She swallowed heavily. “All right, that’s not weird at all.”
He didn’t seem to notice her discomfort as he started to pace back and forth, his hands clasped behind his back. “You are exhausted.”
“I wouldn’t say exhausted.”
“You need to start napping each day. Once a day should be sufficient. In the beginning.”
Um, what? “Toriq, I—”
“Pregnant females need more care,” he stated as though reciting something he had heard. “You are more fragile and delicate than most. Therefore, you need even more care.”
“I’m what now?” she asked, her temper stirring. She took a deep breath. He means well. He didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
Plus he’s been talking to that rat of a doctor. He probably put him up to this.
“You need more rest and to take more care. So, you should nap during the day. Take your vitamin drink twice a day. Eat plenty. Drink a lot of fluid. No climbing, no lifting, no strenuous activity.”
“Strenuous activity?” She cleared her throat, she sounded like she was strangling on something.
“Yes, like running, jumping. Small, supervised walks are fine. At the moment.” He eyed her stomach. “You are not so large that it will be an issue yet.”
Small, supervised walks?
Okay, now he was just taking the piss, and she was close to telling him to where he could shove these ‘ideas’ of his.
“Moroco told you all of this?”
He paused in his pacing to stare at her. “He sent me some information. I wish you to be healthy.”
He didn’t mean to act like a jerk. No, he wasn’t the jerk. Moroco on the other hand…
“Toriq, listen.” Damn, she felt at a disadvantage when he loomed over her. “Maybe you could sit down, and we could talk about this.”
“Dinner is ready.”
Okay, so she was going to have to get used to abrupt changes in conversation.
“I heard your stomach grumble. You need to eat. Come.”
With a sigh, she stood. Once again, the table was laden with food.
“How long has this been here?” she asked as she sat.
“It arrived about an hour ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You should have eaten without me.”
“Eat before you?” He appeared horrified. “Why would I do that?”
“Never mind. I just thought you might be hungry.”
“I can wait. You are more important.”
Warmth filled her and fought off the last lingering bits of temper. “Toriq?”
“Yes?”
“I know our mating was unexpected and maybe not what either of us expected. But I am glad you’re my mate.”
He froze, staring at her, his fork in the air. The piece of food he’d stabbed slipped onto his lap. He looked down as though uncertain where it had come from.
“That surprises you?”
“Everybody fears me.”
She blinked, startled. “They do? Why?” Sure, he was big. Really big. But he’d been nothing but patient and kind to her. A little abrupt and dictatorial, sure. But then, most of these Zerconian warriors were.
“I am large. I always have been, even as a child.”
“Just because you’re big doesn’t make you scary.”
He frowned. “I am a fierce fighter and warrior.”
“I have no doubt,” she told him. “But you don’t use your strength to bully people. Why would they fear you?”
He stared off into the distance. “Because of my father, perhaps.”
“Your father? Is he still alive?”
He shook his head. “No.” Abruptly, he stood. “I must go.”
“Go? Go where? You haven’t even eaten, and we were going to talk. Toriq?” She realized she was talking to air. “Well, hell. What did I say?”
Chapter Twelve
Her cries were the first thing that hit him. Alarmed, he raced towards the sleeping room. Why had he left her? She was his responsibility, and he had just walked off without any explanation. He had been too caught up in his own thoughts, his memories of the past and hadn’t given enough thought to her care.
He raced into the sleeping room, following the sounds of her distress and came to an abrupt stop as he saw her thrashing on the masic. His breath came in large pants, not from the short sprint in here, but due to his fear that she was being attacked, hurt.
She cried out again. The sound filled with such fear that his heart nearly stopped. Maybe she wasn’t being physically attacked, but something was causing her a great deal of fear. She was caught in her dreams once more, dreaming of Maxwell. How Toriq would enjoy having a few minutes alone with him. He would show him what happened to people who hurt someone that belonged to Toriq. He took care of his own.
And right now, Sophie needed him.
“Sophie, Sophie, wake up.”
She thrashed back and forth but didn’t wake. Last
time he’d had to shake her to wake her up, but she’d been frightened when she’d awoken.
“Sophie, it is your mate. Toriq. I command you to awaken.” When he used that tone of voice, warriors quivered before him. Sophie just curled into a ball and made small mewling noises that tore at his insides.
He needed to end this now. He also needed to have a talk with his mate about obeying his commands. It was imperative that she learned to obey him. Because he could not take many more nights like this.
Sitting next to her on the masic, he reached out to grab hold of her shoulders when she sat up with a cry. She panted heavily, her hair plastered to her forehead with sweat. She turned with a gasp then scrambled backward in fear. It hurt something inside him to see her afraid of him.
“There is no reason to be afraid, Sophie. I will not hurt you.”
“Toriq? Oh, Toriq, I’m so happy it’s you.” She threw herself into his arms, startling him. He hesitantly placed his arms around her as she shook. “Where did you go? I didn’t know if you were coming back.” She leaned back to look up at him. “Whatever I said to upset you, I’m really sorry.”
He swallowed. Had this nightmare been his fault? “I should be the one to apologize. It was wrong of me to walk out like that.”
“Why did you?”
He sighed. “Not because of you.”
“Because of your father?”
He stared down at her, unwilling to have this conversation with her yet.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry. I’m just glad you’re back.” She pushed her hair back with a shaking hand, then she grimaced. “Ick, I’m all sweaty and gross. Sorry, and I just plastered myself against you. I must smell terrible.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No, you do not smell terrible.”
“Oh, well, that’s nice of you to say so, but I have a nose, and I definitely smell rank. What time is it?”
“It is very late. You should go back to sleep.”
She smiled, but he could see it was strained. “Not like this. I need to wash.”
“You were dreaming about him? Was he hurting you?”
She glanced away then back up at him. “It’s always the same dream. He finds out about the baby, and he comes for me. I try to fight him off, but he hits me, hurts me, and then he takes my baby. I’m searching, but I never find him. He takes my baby, and I never see him again.”
