by P. Jameson
Shit.
He scanned the perimeters, taking in all the people who’d gathered from their clan. The place was full even if it was crypt-like quiet for the Mother Bear’s entrance.
“Lovely day,” she announced, smiling up at the people. It was a sick thing because it was never authentic. It didn’t reach her eyes as a true smile should, and she was able to do it while meting out the harshest rulings.
Theron tried to control his own expression. He hoped the scowl in his heart didn’t show on his face. Glancing at Thames, he saw his brother was poised and neutral. Hands clasped behind his back no doubt to hide the blood on his sleeve.
Theron straightened and tried harder to imitate him.
“My people,” their leader called loud. Her voice ricocheted around the gathering, a booming authoritative sound. “We have gathered today to hear the readings of these five young, and to officially welcome them into adulthood.”
The crowd around them roared their excitement. And Theron supposed it was a time of celebration for most. One where their families watch on with pride as their young achieve an important milestone and prepare for their future.
For him and Thames, there was no family. No friends. And the entire thing was just another humiliation for them. Always the humiliation. When would it end?
In death. He remembered his brother’s words from last night. It won’t always be bad.
The Mother Bear paced the broad dais in front, her dress swishing with every measured step. Her eyes landed on Theron and narrowed, but he did his best to hold her gaze. Weakness wasn’t the way to approach the Mother Bear. Even if he was forced to fist his hands to keep them from shaking.
“However,” she boomed, and the audience reacted the same way Theron did. He froze, hanging on to her next word to see how this was going to fall. “It has come to my attention that the Ursa Inferior… the cursed of our clan… have ruthlessly beaten two of my beloved guards before the beginning of this ceremony.”
There was a gasp from the audience. Not so much because he and Thames had been involved in a brawl. Brawls were common among bear shifters, and it was practically expected where he and Thames were concerned. But disrespecting the Mother Bear by attacking her guards was not.
“I had long hoped these two would settle as they aged,” she continued. “That by the time they were due for readings, they would have adapted to our society and perhaps even deserve a place among us. Alas, that will not be the case today. Instead, they will once again be punished, leaving a black mark on these events which should be joyous, and now are poisoned.” Mother Bear looked at the other three transitioning bears with a soft expression. Maybe even loving. If she was capable of it. “I’m sorry your Reading Day will be marred by this. But if I don’t do what needs to be done, they will never learn. I hope you understand.”
As if they would dare argue.
The three nodded, and Mother Bear’s gaze lingered on Ava. She must like her very much.
Theron glanced at Thames, who slowly ducked his head. His shoulders drooped, all the optimism from the night before, demolished. Thames was defeated.
Brother bear is hurting. Help brother bear.
Theron’s animal was riled from the fight and the injustice of their existence. He wanted to defend. Argue their plight. It wouldn’t change anything, he knew it, but he had to try.
“It was in self-defense,” he said, his voice ringing loud and drawing more scandalized gasps from the people around him. “The guards attacked us by our—” What could he call it that would draw the least ridicule. “Home,” he said quietly. “And we were forced by our bears to defend ourselves.”
Mother Bear stared at him, stunned, but then burst out in a wicked laugh, throwing her head back on her shoulders to get the most from the cackle.
“Your home?”
The audience snickered. Some of them laughing outright, the same as she had. Rude, derisive chortles that made him grit his teeth as blood rushed to his cheeks. The two males beside him muttered taunting words, but Ava… she only stayed the way she was.
She was good. He could feel it. Ava was good inside like him and Thames. Strong. And her strength gave Theron strength.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “It is the best we have right now and we make it work.”
Mother Bear’s face lost all hint of humor. “It is the best you will have ever. Ursa Inferior has no home. Not here, not anywhere.”
Theron swallowed hard, glancing over to see Thames shrinking even lower. How much could they take? How low was their lowest?
“They attacked us unprovoked,” Theron repeated. “We only defended ourselves when our animals told us to.”
“Ah,” she nodded slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. “So your bears attacked my men?”
Theron looked at his brother for help. What was the right answer? But Thames had already mentally checked out, waiting for their punishment to begin.
“Y-Yes,” Theron said. “Yes, because they wouldn’t let us continue to be beaten. They protect us.”
But this only seemed to make her angrier. And a second too late, Theron realized why. She wanted them to have nothing and no one. No one to keep them safe, no one to love them. Except she couldn’t control their animals. The bears would be with them always. The bears would fight their battles. Take the heat when they couldn’t take another second of it.
“Bring me the belt,” she said low, but every ear in the audience heard. Her voice quivered with hate, vibrating with the nearness of her cruel and brutal animal.
One of the guards passed over the long strap of leather often used for public beatings. It was stained with the blood of past victims. Theron vaguely wondered how much of that brownish red belonged to him.
Achingly slow, she stepped down off the dais and made her way over to them.
“If your bears come out, mine will too,” she warned. “And I’m not the Mother Bear because I care whether you live or not. My bear likes blood. I’ll kill you dead if we go animal to animal. This is your only warning.”
With that, she drew the belt back over her shoulder and released it with a sharp forward motion. The leather whistled through the air and when it hit Theron, the pain was a blistering sting across the side of his face.
The first hit was always the worst. The shock hurt more than the actual pain, though that was bad. But the next hit, and the next, came quickly so the first was dust in the rearview mirror.
Theron stood as still as he could, absorbing the Mother Bear’s blows as she focused on his face and neck. Soon enough, she would move on to his body. The thin, ratty clothes he wore wouldn’t act as much of a cushion. And even though he was big because of the animal that lived in him, his bones ached from sleeping on the ground and never having enough food. He’d rather she keep hitting him in the head.
The belt snapped across his ear, the sound of the blow almost deafening. Somehow he held in his groan. He had to be strong. Had to make it through. For Thames.
For… himself. And any possible hope at a future.
Damn hope.
His bear stirred inside, growing angrier with each painful lash. Blood opened back up from his injured lip, streaming down his chin and splattering when Mother Bear landed another slap from the leather.
The humiliation burned him up inside. They were all watching him be beat, and he was unable to fight back. A man—as he was one now—should be allowed to fight back. Children were punished. Not men. Men were their own. Made their own decisions. But right now he was reduced to lower than a child. Because no child deserved to be beat. No matter what their crime.
Scum. He was reduced to scum. Only scum was beaten to bloody before an audience of their kind.
Or something even lower.
Theron vibrated with the effort to hold in his bear. A threatening growl lived in his chest even though he heard Thames saying, “Hold it, brother. Think of something else. Something good.”
And he tried. But there was nothing to think of. Their parents
. His intended mate. His shamble of a home. Everything hurt his heart.
The echoing laughter of the two young males behind him was another lash to his soul, which hurt just as bad as the bloody welts on his body. It was just too much.
Enough, his bear roared inside. We fight.
There was a moment where Theron wanted to tell Thames sorry. Sorry for not being stronger. Sorry for trying to explain their offense. Just sorry. Because the Mother Bear would surely kill him for this. But the prospect of relief was enough to make him forget his apology.
Death. He was ready.
His body shook and contorted as he let his bear have control. With a powerful shift of the air, lean muscle became bulk, tattered skin became fur, fingers became razor sharp, six inch claws. And the growl in his chest became a ferocious, ear-splitting roar. He stood tall on his hind legs, towering over Mother Bear’s human form. He roared his fury, spittle flying in her face.
You’ll never beat me again.
She tossed the leather aside with a snarled twist of her aging lips. Her glaring eyes flickered with the nearness of her animal, a full grown grizzly who’d defeated many in order to claim the title of Mother of the Deadclaw Clan.
“I. Warned. You,” she growled, barely able to get the words past clenched teeth that were growing in length.
This is it. Fight. Fight until you can’t fight anymore.
But just as Mother Bear lifted her hand to form claws…
Ava stepped between Theron’s bear and their leader.
“Wait!” she cried, freezing Mother Bear before she could shift to her animal. “Please, ma’am. If you don’t mind, perhaps just this once, you could spare him.” Her words were rushed, her sudden bravery fading, and her body was cowering a little under the Mother’s harsh glare. But…
Ava had stepped in front of their leader’s blow. A blow meant for Theron. She’d… she’d put herself in danger for him. Which meant she found him worthy. She was… she was choosing him. Him, an Ursa Inferior. A bear unwanted.
Mate?
His heart thundered inside his chest, so loud the entire place could probably hear it. He had a mate, and it was Ava. Ava with the red hair, and odd feet, and a whole face full of freckles that he already loved just because she was his. Ava who had never said mean words to him and didn’t laugh when he was ridiculed. Who had stopped the Mother Bear’s wrath and deemed him worthy.
Worthy. She deemed him worthy. The idea sent shiver all through him.
Everything would change now. It was like Thames said. Nobody would try harder to earn her love. He would find her a home if it killed him, and he’d make it nice for her so she could be proud to be his.
Theron’s mind scrambled.
He didn’t have anywhere to take her now, but he’d search all night until he found something. Thames would help him because this was big. This was important.
Ava. Mine—
“Are you choosing this male, Ava?” Mother Bear straightened, her face transforming from a fierce scowl to a confused frown.
Theron quickly changed back to his human form so he could stand beside his mate properly. Even though he was buck naked from the shift. There was nothing to be done about that. His breath heaved in his chest. His limbs were nearly numb with adrenaline. And inside, he felt so full he was practically bubbling.
He’d never felt this before. Joy. What an amazing emotion.
He glanced at Thames. His brother’s eyes were peeled wide with shock.
“I… I…” Ava’s voice was soft, but it brought Theron’s attention back to her.
“You stepped between him and myself, and I can assure you, girl, his life was in certain danger. You took a risk, and are damn lucky I haven’t already taken your head for it. So, I ask again. Do you choose this male as your mate?”
Theron frowned.
Protect mate from Mother Bear. No one threatens mate.
He stepped closer to Ava, ready to fight for her, but he didn’t touch. Didn’t want to get blood on her pretty dress.
Turning, she met his eyes, and for a moment, he saw his future in them. She would be his. He would try so hard, prove himself, and someday give her cubs. They would be a family, so different than the way he grew up. His cubs would have beds to sleep in, and loving arms to hold them. Because he had the very best mate he could ask for.
Hope. It wasn’t so bad after all. It was just sneaky. It comes through when you least expect it.
But from one blink to the next, Ava’s sweet face became something awful. Those eyes that were open and honest and good, were suddenly filled with derision. She raked him with her gaze from his head all the way down, scowling with disgust. Like he made her sick.
Wait. What is happening. Why does mate look like that?
Theron felt ill, deep in his core. Something was wrong.
“Never,” she hissed, clearly enunciating each syllable. Her tone was cold and unfeeling. Harder and more brutal than any of Mother Bear’s hits.
She stepped away, the distance feeling like galaxies between them. But instead of keeping an ounce of dignity, he wanted to hold her close. Make her stay by his side. She chose him. Now he should have the chance to prove he was worthy of her.
Theron shook his head, opening his mouth to plead with her. He could be a good mate. She just needed to give him a chance.
But Mother Bear cut him off. “Explain yourself, female.”
Ava laughed, an ugly crunching sound that had his bear doubling over in pain. “I would never choose an Ursa Inferior as my male. He has nothing to offer me. Dirty,” she spat, flinging her hand in his direction. “Sleeps on the ground. Disrespects our laws.”
“I don’t,” he argued. “I keep our laws the best I can.”
“Silence,” Mother Bear boomed. “The female is speaking.”
“He’s trash,” Ava continued haughtily. “That’s why his home is a dumpster.”
Theron stiffened at the common barb thrown his and Thames’s way.
No. No, no. Why? His brawling bear was useless, curling into fetal position inside.
“I don’t want him, and never will. I only stepped between you because I didn’t want his death marring this celebration.” She turned to the other two males. “We three have waited our entire lives for this day. To ruin it with useless blood spilling… well, it just seemed a waste, dear Mother Bear. I do hope you understand.”
The murmurs of agreement rose from the crowd, and Theron’s chest caved with his heavy breaths. He was going to cry. Damn it, he was going to cry because it hurt so bad. He never cried. Not since mama and pop. But even with the tears brimming, he couldn’t take his hopeful eyes off Ava.
Please be a joke. Please be a nightmare. Please say I’ll wake up.
But he didn’t.
“I do not like it, female…” Mother Bear mused, tapping her chin with one gnarled finger. “But I do understand. I simply hate it when an Ursa Inferior can’t behave and ruins it for all others.”
Ava never looked back at Theron. She kept her gaze on the Mother until he thought his eyes would bleed from their begging. But it was done. She didn’t want him. Not even to try. Not even to see if he could do right by her.
Thames cleared his throat. “But she chose him. Ava chose Theo. It’s the law, she is his to prove. He should get a chance. It… Mother Bear, it’s the law.”
She turned her fiery gaze on him. “I am the law. And I’ve had enough of both of you. You’re here for a reading, I’ll give you a reading. Thames, the eldest of the Ursa Gemini, your mate will be filled with wicked evil, and have no love in her heart for you.”
Theron heard the words. Understood their meaning. Thames would never successfully complete the mating ritual. And since Theron was the youngest, he couldn’t mate until Thames did.
“And you, Theron. The despicable second twin. Your mate will regret the day she chose you. Regret ever putting herself in harm’s way for you. Regret meeting you at all. She will be a bouquet of regrets, always stin
king up your nose, until she is free of you for good.”
Theron let each word hit him squarely in the chest, but none of it hurt as much as Ava’s betrayal. Ava’s derision. Ava’s hate.
“Now, leave this ceremony and let us make this the joyous celebration it should be,” she commanded. “We’ll finish your punishment later.”
Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off Ava. Ava who wouldn’t look at him.
Not mine.
Thames’s hand landed on his arm. “Come on, brother. We need to go.”
Theron let his brother pull him out of the gathering grounds and back to the fringes of the community.
“Don’t worry, Theo,” he said quietly. Calmly. Much too easily. “I don’t believe a word Mother Bear said. Your mate won’t regret anything. She… I bet she’ll be something wonderful. I bet she’ll love music. You should prepare by learning to play something. Guitar maybe. Or piano. And sing a lot. She’ll like that I bet, whoever she is.”
Theron said nothing as they ambled back to the dumpster.
When they arrived, Thames began rifling through their meager things. He came out with a ratty back pack and another stained up tote. They smelled like vomit and wet earth. Passing one to Theron, he said, “Pack what you think will be useful. And put something on, okay?”
Theron didn’t ask why. He didn’t care. He just dragged something over his body to cover up, threw shit in the bag like his brother said, and then followed him into the woods.
Hours later, when they crossed over the clan boundaries, he stopped walking.
“Thames.”
“Yeah.”
“What are we doing?”
His brother doubled back, stopping directly in front of him. “We’re leaving, Theo. Going far away to a place where no one knows us. Where no one calls us inferior.”
Theron stared, feeling dead inside, but his mouth said the words that were logical. “This is our clan. These are our people.”
Thames shook his head. “We don’t have people. We have me, and we have you. It’s how it’s always been. How it will always be.”
He settled his big hand on Theron’s aching shoulder, and somehow that single motion released the floodgates he’d put up to keep himself from crying. Big sloppy tears fell from his eyes as all the pain came to a bursting head.
