by P. Jameson
Two dogs left in a room to starve, would eventually find sustenance at the death of another.
Still, Mirena didn’t want to embrace darkness. She didn’t want to mindlessly harm the ones she loved most, as her sister, Nastia had done.
They made it through that mess by the skin of their teeth. Adira had concocted a dangerous spell using death to break Nastia’s connection to the mystics above. The lights in the sky that sourced their magic. The spell brought her back as something entirely different. She was no longer human, no longer Sorcera. She wasn’t a beast as the shifters. She was a new thing all her own. One that required living blood for sustenance, and the power of the greatest light in existence.
The sun.
It would take generations to fully understand what Nastia had become. But she was alive. She was herself. Safe and happy and thriving.
They’d gotten lucky. But Mirena wasn’t fool enough to think their luck could carry her and Adira through the magic transition as well.
She chewed her lip, thinking.
One of them wasn’t going to make it. The odds were stacked against them, and betting woman that she was… she wouldn’t put her money on either of them.
Adira had more light magic left. That meant Mirena was next. Her time was up, and it would take a miracle for her to make it through.
With that dismal thought, she launched herself off the side of the cliff, gripping the rope so tight it burned her palms. The ground dropped away as she swung out over the lake, her long, lacey dress fluttering behind like a memory.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she let the air rush around her, imagining this was what it felt like to fly. For a small moment of time, she was soaring. Her body loosened, no longer shaking, no longer desperate to keep a hold, and she let go. Falling, falling, falling until she crashed through the surface of the water with a thunderous splash.
The lake was cool and crisp and washed away the sting of her worries. Kicking and scissoring her legs, she pointed toward the surface. Her dress was heavy, but she’d learned over the years, you can do anything in a dress as long as you don’t care who sees your bloomers. One of the oldest tutors rattled that off one time, and it had always stuck with Mirena, because she’d found it to be true.
Breaking through the table of the lake, she drew in a gasping breath and laughed on the exhale. It felt good. Laughing felt good, and she didn’t do it that often anymore. It was a shame.
“Did it work?” Mason asked, swimming up beside her.
She turned to find a deep frown etched on his face. He was attractive enough, but he frowned entirely too much. He looked like a man who wore the weight of the world as a collar. He worried about the clan. Felt responsible for them, and worked with the Elder to shepherd them into happiness. Didn’t he know his own was required as well for this to be a healthy clan? She hoped one day she’d be around to see him smile.
“It worked.” She grinned because she couldn’t help it. The itchy, irritating compulsion was satisfied. Finally. “I probably resemble a drowned rat after that, but it worked. The urge to challenge is gone. For now.”
Mason let out a sigh and the ridges bracketing his mouth eased a bit as he tread water next to her. “Good.”
“Thank you, Mason.”
“Yeah,” he grumbled, looking away. “No problem.”
“Was this Destiny’s idea?”
He shook his head, scowling. “I do have some of my own, you know. I like helping people. The Elder annoys me to death, but I’d still help even if she wasn’t bugging me.”
Mirena nodded. “Of course you would.”
Mason jerked his head back, his expression going slack with surprise.
“What?” Mirena asked. “What is it?”
“She… she agrees with me.”
“Sure I do. I know you have a good heart—”
“Not you,” he interrupted, his eyes wide enough she could see all the whites. “Destiny. She actually agrees with me.”
“I take it that doesn’t happen often?”
Mason snorted. “Try never. It’s a damn wonder we accomplish anything at all.” He hesitated, mid-thought. “She says we make a good team. That our different views make us better problem solvers. Aw, fuck. I think she’s right. And you know what that means?”
“What?”
“It means I agree with her too.”
Mirena let out a mock gasp. “Say it isn’t so.”
Mason narrowed his eyes and shoved playfully at her shoulder, dunking her under the water. She came back up, splashing him in the face. He jerked back to avoid the spray, gearing up to retaliate, but his gaze was drawn to the bank and he froze, hand midway to the water.
Mirena followed his eyes over to the edge, her heart beating double time when she saw who watched them.
Theron. The hulking bear shifter that made her feel like he was supposed to be part of her life.
She’d been drawn to him from the beginning, when she and her sisters first arrived at Lake Haven. And they’d become friends over the past couple months, working through the ancient tomes Nastia collected as they searched for an Anchor solution. They’d joked with each other. Shared a table at the lodge’s dining room. Laughed some and worried more. But something was wrong now.
The bear paced angrily along the sloping bank, his eyes hot on the water where she and Mason swam. His long strides took him several feet one way before returning to go several more the other way, his path widening with each pass. His hand raked in and out of his hair, pulling at the short strands until they stood in spiky tips atop his head.
Even riled like he was, Mirena couldn’t help but admire him. Theron was gorgeous in the way a rough-cut lumberjack would be. He was tall and broad, with dark hair cropped short. A dark dusting of a beard covered his jaw. More times than she could count, she’d wanted to reach over and feel it with the tips of her fingers. When they stood close, he towered over her even though she was tall. It made her feel protected.
And his eyes.
They were the blue of deep water, and when they looked at her, it was like they were telling a story. One with the happiest of endings.
She liked him. She liked him a lot.
But it was more than his fine looks and the way she felt safer with him near. Theron was good. Noble.
She’d watched him do battle to protect the Ouachita clan. Watched claws shred him, watched him endure pain, outside and in.
She’d seen him jump in front of Nastia’s dark magic to save his brother. How could Mirena keep from pushing him out of the way and taking the blow herself? A love like the kind Theron had for his brother was worth taking a risk for. And taking risks was the name of her game.
But now, according to his customs, Mirena had started their mate. Nastia explained it the best she could. By putting herself in danger to save him, Mirena had deemed him worthy. Chosen him. Now he would want to mate because his bear would demand it.
Mating Theron was no nightmare. More like a dream. But it wasn’t how she thought it would be when she finally fell in love. She’d expected it to be mutual. And while she’d grown attached to the bear shifter, him being forced to have feelings for her because his inner animal required it, wasn’t exactly a storybook romance.
Mirena swallowed hard, watching him pace back and forth, his eyes digging into her from across the lake.
The bear was a brawler. She’d heard the stories of his days as a bouncer. The brother bears were a force to be reckoned with, and Theo was the more volatile one. He was the rowdy to Thames’s reasonable. Would he even want to settle down?
It was hard to imagine making it past the equinox, but when Mirena imagined her future, it included a family. More than just her sisters, and more than the Ouachita clan. She imagined a family of her own. A loving man and a couple children. Maybe a cute little puppy to round things out.
It wasn’t the way of her people. If one made it through the transition without turning dark, they devoted their time to training up and c
oming Sorcera. Like Father Isaac and the tutors had trained her, Nastia, and Adira. But it didn’t keep her heart from wanting what it wanted.
“We’d better go,” Mason said low as he started for the bank.
Mirena followed, her dress dragging the water behind her.
As the earth sloped upward, and they approached the shore, Theo seemed to become even more agitated. His eyes stayed on her until they darted to Mason and then back. They flickered brown with the nearness of his animal. Brown bear eyes, before showing human blue again.
She gave him a little wave, and attempted a smile. But the expression on his face was as far from friendly as she’d ever seen.
Mirena’s heart stuttered in her chest.
Before her feet touched dry earth, Theron was undoing the buttons on his flannel shirt. The sleeves had been rolled up past his elbows, and when the front was open, he yanked at them until they were down.
Mason was out of the lake first, and Mirena followed up the bank, her skirt dragging along the wet earth until they stood before Theo.
“Hey, bear,” Mason said warily, but Theron ignored him.
Jerking his shirt free of his shoulders, he marched over to Mirena.
“Here.” His voice was low and growly. It was different than how he spoke to her before.
Theo was a brawler, but he was also playful. He teased. He was sarcastic. There was none of that now. He was serious as a plate of bacon on Sunday morning.
Reaching around her body, he settled his shirt over her sopping dress and pulled it closed in the front. Even taking care to button it.
“Thanks,” she muttered, confused by the deep frown that marred his forehead. “But I’m not cold.”
His eyes flashed to hers, stopping her breath with their intensity. Wow. He was practically vibrating, and the rumble in his chest was a low, constant sound.
“You’re cold,” he insisted, his jaw going rigid as his eyes drifted back down to her chest.
Oh. Cold. She must have razor nipples, as Layna liked to call them.
Mason stepped forward. “We were just—”
Theo let off a warning growl and positioned his body between Mason and Mirena, using it like a shield. He was still facing her, but so close now she couldn’t see anything past him. Just his broad chest heaving with his labored breaths.
Instinct told her to hold very still, so she did. Like any sudden move could send him over whatever edge he was toeing.
Mason tried again. “I was just helping her—”
“Stay away,” Theron boomed, causing Mirena to jump.
She straightened her shoulders, but the bear noticed her flinch, and it only seemed to make him more volatile. Theo trembled so violently now, his fists clenched tight around the flannel material, and his eyes were fully brown.
“Fuck,” Mason said from somewhere beyond Theo’s rumbling chest. “What do you think you’re doing, bear? Calm the fuck down, wouldya?”
“No,” Theo said, shaking his head. “My animal needs blood. Yours. You can’t do this, cat. You can’t. My animal won’t let you.”
“Do what? I was just trying to—”
“No,” Theo roared again. “Leave.”
He didn’t want to hear Mason’s explanation, okay. But why was he so angry? Why did he feel like he was a heartbeat away from shifting? And why did his bear want Mason’s blood?
“Fine,” Mason said, sounding resigned. “Let’s do this then. Let’s fight.”
What? No. They couldn’t fight. They were friends.
Mirena tried to see around Theron, but he blocked her, his frown growing bigger.
“Theo, stop,” she snapped, and he went perfectly still. The growl in his chest faded, but somehow it seemed like things were getting worse, not better. She could feel something rolling off him to land on her in a heap. Something ugly. Something so heavy and sad it felt like cement around her heart.
Mirena stopped trying to look around Theo and instead found his face. The frown was gone but it was replaced with something she’d never seen there before.
Devastation. Total devastation. Like his heart was made of paper and she’d just torn it to shreds.
Confused by his change in demeanor, she opened her mouth to say something. Anything. But no words came.
What had she done?
His eyes were whipped-puppy-dog sad, and roamed all over her face like he was trying to memorize it.
“You… you can’t fight Mason,” she said weakly.
Theron’s chin trembled as he stared her straight in the eyes and mouthed, “But you’re mine.”
There was no sound to his voice. Maybe because her ears were ringing. She felt all whipped around, like the clapper of a bell. But she heard every word as if it was spoken directly into her heart.
“Theo?” she managed.
“Mine. Not his,” he said, his fist where he gripped the flannel shirt giving a little shake. “He can’t have you. I-I get to show you… I… need to show you…” He blew out a trembling breath, and then sucked it back in sharply. “I have a plan, Rena.”
She liked the way he shortened her name. It felt personal, something special that only he used.
“I’ve been thinking of it all day. It’s a good plan. I can be good for you. Be a good mate. I can do that now. You just need to see I’m not the boy behind the dumpster. I’m not that anymore. Not nothing. Not low. I…”
Mirena pressed her hand to his bare chest because every word from his mouth was like razorblade cuts. She didn’t know this side of Theron. She didn’t know this vulnerable, aching thing in front of her. But she knew she could help him if she could get him to calm down.
“Okay,” she whispered, and his shoulders slumped forward.
“You’ll hear me out?” he croaked.
“Of course.” She stepped even closer, drawn to him. “But you can’t fight Mason.”
Theo stiffened, his face turning hard. He stared down at her, angry, but the hurt still filled his eyes.
“Will you come with me?” he gritted quietly.
Mirena nodded. She’d go anywhere with him for a chance to undo whatever pain she caused. Because her brawling joker bear didn’t deserve to feel like he felt now.
She might not be sure of much, but of that, she was certain.
Chapter Four
Theron pulled Mirena through the thick woods toward his cabin. Her small hand was gripped in his mammoth one, but he was careful to be gentle with her. His bear was too raw, too animalistic after seeing her and Mason laughing and playing in the water, and he didn’t want to hurt her. So he chanted it in his head as they walked. Careful, careful, careful.
How would he ever explain himself?
He’d lost it. Fucking lost it. In front of the cat, in front of his mate. Mirena had seen how weak he was. She’d seen the moisture pooling in his eyes, and it made him ill.
He never wanted her to think bad of him. He wanted her to see him as brave. He needed to be brave to be mate of The Bravest.
That aside, he’d promised himself he’d never feel what he felt that day he and Thames went before the Mother Bear for their reading. But Mirena’s denial… the way she’d wanted to see Mason… the way she demanded Theo not fight the cat. That’s all it took for him to be right back in the gathering grounds, being mocked and ridiculed by the female who he thought had chosen him.
It was history repeating itself.
Shit.
Not true, his bear argued. Mate looks at you different. She cares. You matter to her.
Theron glanced back at Mirena. She gave him a small, worried smile. Not her happy one. Not her frisky one that she got when she was up for a challenge.
He didn’t like it, so he jerked his gaze away.
“Theo,” she murmured. “Where are we going?”
“My cabin.”
“So we can talk?”
He didn’t answer. Partly because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to tell her about the incident at the lake
and he didn’t know what to tell her about his plan. He’d come up with it when he thought she wanted him. Now that she didn’t… what he wanted to do was going to hurt. Him, more than her.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Whatever happened back there… I’m sorry for it.”
Still, he couldn’t answer her.
“Are you mad because we’re mates? Because your bear is making you need me? Because if so, maybe I can help you stop it. I can ask Adira to help me find a spell. I… I can’t imagine how hard it is to be forced to feel something you don’t want to feel.”
Theron frowned. He wasn’t being forced to do anything. The things he felt for her were his to own. He and the bear were one. He wanted to mate her, take care of her, make a life with her, keep her forever.
In that exact order.
And he’d wanted all those things since he’d first laid eyes on her the night she and her sisters cast a spell on him to force his bear back inside his body. It was a temporary spell, meant to get the shifters’ attention, but the witch captured him that night. It had little to do with the mating ritual she’d set in place saving him from Nastia.
“I don’t have an animal so I don’t understand what you’re going through right now. But I would try to help you. I would do anything for you—” Her words cut off abruptly.
Theron stopped walking and turned to look at her. His mate’s eyes were wide like she’d said too much.
“I just meant I think very highly of you, and I don’t want to see you hurting over this. Over what I’ve done.”
Mate cares. Just like that, his bear was eased, all the fight leaving him like air rushing from a balloon.
“I’m not mad because we’re mates.”
The worried wrinkles in her forehead smoothed. “You’re not?”
Theron shook his head, still raw and trying to read her. But fuck it. He wasn’t good at guess work.
“Can I ask you something?”
Mirena let out a relieved breath, her face finally giving him a genuine smile, even if it was microscopic. “Sure. Anything.”
“Do you… do you…” Want Mason?
Well, fuck. He couldn’t ask her that. Because he wasn’t able to hear the answer without losing his shit. And if he asked her, and she did… his chance was over. The bear would yield to her wishes.
