by Shayla Black
Page 42
Now if she could just get Ice to understand that not only did he deserve her, she loved him … As soon as this bit of business ended, she would.
“And you suggested the edict?” Sabelle turned to Ice.
Blast it, she loved him so much that looking at him made her heart hurt. Especially when he merely looked away. Then he nodded.
“How did the vote go? Did the others agree to a directive?”
Bram grimaced. Tynan looked away. Ice gripped the arms of his chair. Ah, this was the something they wanted to avoid discussing.
Sabelle tapped her toe on the stone floor. “You know I’m not giving up until someone answers. ”
Under his breath, Bram cursed. “The vote was a four-three split as Sydney reported. Ice, Tynan, Sterling MacTavish and I supported the edict. The others opposed. No shock there. The original version of the edict contained a directive that allowed any of magickind to kill Mathias on sight. ”
Tynan turned to Caden and Lucan. “That’s where your uncle parted ways with us. He doesn’t want to condone what he believes amounts to murder among the masses. He prefers that we take care of Mathias. ”
“We?” Sabelle queried.
“The Doomsday Brethren,” Bram supplied. “We alone have the directive to kill him. The rest of the Council has vowed to put up no other barriers between us and Mathias’s death. ”
“That’s not all bad, is it? Shouldn’t that have been a part of our transcast?”
“What will Mathias do if he learns that he’s free to kill at will among magickind, and those witches and wizards are allowed to take up their magic only in defense of themselves or their families, after it’s clear Mathias means to kill them? By then, it’s bloody too late. There will be more carnage. More murders. ”
“Stupid fools,” she muttered.
“Exactly,” Ice agreed, then looked down again.
Again, Sabelle wondered how Ice could see himself as unworthy and undeserving. He’d fought a battle with the most evil wizard of a millennium and survived. He’d earned a seat on the Council, despite the fact no Deprived had done so in centuries. He’d battled and nearly died, yet continued to come back stronger than before, full of the honor and valor she so loved about him. Yet he remained humbled, ashamed. How could she embrace him and create a future with him if he couldn’t stop focusing on his perceived failures of the past? Didn’t he understand that he could have done nothing to save Gailene? That no one had expected him to actually kill Mathias in the challenge ring?
“The edict is behind us and nothing can change the directive we’ve been given, at least for now. Maybe after enough innocent deaths, the other Councilmen will concede, but until then, we have our orders: kill Mathias. ” Bram glanced down the table at all the Doomsday Brethren warriors. “That’s a mission we can all embrace. ”
Amid nods and choruses of yeses, Bram sighed. “There’s another matter we must address, our temporary residence. I’m planning to rebuild my own, bigger and better. Stronger. More secure. It will, however, take time. With Ice’s blessing, I’d like to remain here until it’s complete. ”
That snapped Ice’s gaze up, straight to Sabelle. Again, the yearning and devotion on his face nearly toppled her, made her dizzy with want. Foolish, headstrong man.
“I—I . . . ” Ice sighed as he looked away. “I prefer my privacy. ”
Sabelle knew better than to believe he didn’t want her. What he didn’t want was to weaken and give in to his need for her. She smiled. No way was she going to allow him to separate himself from her. No way would she let him prevent her from speaking the Binding one more time. The moment business was done, she was going to do whatever she must to make him see reason.
“As do I,” Bram supplied. “But look at the others. Who among us has a location so well hidden, remote enough to be clandestine, with dungeons and proper safeguards?”
Ice had apparently completed the mental checklist. He turned to Duke. “What of your house? It’s large and old, so likely equipped with dungeons. You’ve put safeguards around it, and we could add others—”
“And there are at least twenty humans underfoot at all times. Would you like to hide your magic from them twenty-four-seven? or explain magic to them all?”
“You could give the human servants some time off. ”
“Months? Years? Besides, servants aren’t the only consideration. Don’t forget, my half brother and his fiancée are human. ”
Caden frowned. “They don’t know what you are?”
Duke paused, cleared his throat. “No. And I’m afraid I must leave you soon, attend their wedding in two weeks’ time, on New Year’s Eve. At the manor. We’ll have a house full of bloody guests for nearly a month. ”
“Well, Ice, looks like we’ll have to trespass on your … hospitality a bit longer. ” Bram smiled, knowing he’d won his way.
“Damn it all!” Ice cursed.
Inside, Sabelle rejoiced. Not only did she like it here—the caverns provided a haunting natural beauty she would have never imagined possible—it kept her very close to Ice. As long as she was by his side, she would be able to work her way under his defenses and back into his arms.
“I think it’s a good plan,” Sabelle chimed in. “Mathias’s witch, Rhea, is in the dungeon and since she isn’t Mathias’s mate, he should be unable to trace her. We’ve begun questioning her. Already she’s admitted to placing the tracking spell on the Doomsday Diary. I … persuaded her to remove it. She’s a valuable hostage, and relocating Rhea would be fraught with opportunities for her to escape or give Mathias the potential means to free her. I think it’s best if we all remain here. ”
“Good. It’s settled. ” Bram slapped the table. “Caden, thank your mate for her prompt and excellent transcast. So glad I sent you to that silly human rag she worked for to lure her away. ”
Caden frowned. “You sent me there to shut her up. ”
Bram waved. “Whatever. It worked. ”
The wizards around the table laughed as they rose. Predictably, Caden went in search of Sydney, Marrok after Olivia, and Ronan sought out Kari, Raiden grumbling beside him about mating having turned his twin into a sap. Duke said his farewells and teleported away to tend preparations for the family wedding everyone knew he dreaded … which made Sabelle wonder why. She couldn’t read Duke well; he was quite good at masking his thoughts. But enough of them revolved around a pink-cheeked blonde to raise Sabelle’s brow. Finally, Bram and Lucan meandered side by side out of the room.
Her brother paused to give her a pat on the shoulder. In that single glance, she read his pained acceptance. Bram giving his blessing for a mating he’d long opposed was costing him effort, but he would no longer try to stop her. Ice had shown himself to be a worthy warrior, loyal to her and the cause. Now that Ice was a Councilman, Bram had no other logical objection. This wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. She smiled in return.
With that, Bram turned back to his friend, murmuring that he’d had a call from Anka, who had information about Mathias’s next move. She also wished to speak to her former mate. Intriguing, yes … but not Sabelle’s first priority. Tynan looked as angry and introspective as always, a heartbeat away from an explosion of violence or grief. Sabelle knew one would break free of his control someday, and she wasn’t at all certain which.
That left Ice staring at her with a mix of dread and resignation that made her wonder if he’d put too many obstacles between them to have any sort of future.
once the others had left the room, Sabelle sauntered around the table. Ice watched her approach, torn between his need to grab her and pull her to him, and his honor, which screamed at him to leave her to a better future.
As she neared, Ice forced himself to take a step back.
“You cannot avoid me forever. ”
Her words shamed him. Bloody hell, he was mucking everything up. “of course. It’s cowardly, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that I won’t
blame you for Renouncing me. ”
“You daft, stubborn man. ” She stomped closer. “I’m trying to Bind myself to you. ”
Regret plowed through him. Releasing her was both the most honorable and most difficult thing to do. “Sabelle, no. I—”
“Just don’t know when to shut up, do you? I don’t want to Bind myself to you out of pity or spite against my brother or any other nonsense you might dream up. I want to be with you because I love you. And I know you love me. ”
Ice shuffled one foot against the stone floor. Love her? She was his whole world. For the sake of her future, he would give her up. “I don’t deserve you. ”
“Because you failed to kill Mathias?” At his nod, she rolled her eyes. “That’s rubbish. I told you, no one expected you to kill the ruthless bastard. ”
Except him. Ice clenched his fists at his sides. He had not only expected to kill Mathias, he’d demanded it of himself. The moment he’d realized exactly how to defeat Mathias in the challenge ring, he’d tasked himself with killing the nemesis who had ruined his life and shattered his hope of a future two centuries ago. Defeat was a bitter pill to swallow.
Something invisible crawled up his chest, closed up his throat. He didn’t dare lift his gaze to Sabelle. He clamped his jaw shut, but his brows still slashed down, his face contorted. Tears threatened to unman him even more.
“I expected it,” he roared, pounding his chest. “He deserved to die for what he did to Gailene, and I vowed to kill him myself. When I had the chance, I was too slow, too weak—”
“Too damn insistent on being a one-man army, if you ask me. He’s evil in a way you can’t grasp, thank God. But your refusal to embrace the future with me isn’t about the fact Mathias is still alive. ”
“It is. I failed you and all of magickind. By God, witch, don’t you understand that?”
Sabelle reached a tentative hand to Ice. He tried to steel himself against her sweet touch, but when she laid her palm on his shoulder, heat bombarded him. He jerked, winced … but couldn’t make himself pull away.
“I understand that you think you failed Gailene. That you’ve spent two hundred years living for the express purpose of killing the villain responsible, thinking it would rest her memory. But Gailene would never have thought that you failed. You’ve become a great warrior, a Council member. You are a fine man I don’t want to live without. She would be proud. ”
His face crumbled, and his throat seized up completely. Desperately, he pressed his lips together, determined to keep the sobs echoing in his head inside.
But it was no use. The sobs came, and with it, more fury. “I couldn’t save her, I couldn’t kill Mathias. How on earth could I save you if you ever needed me? Sabelle, I would never ask you to put yourself in my hands, in my protection—”
“Stop! Don’t you dare think for me. I’ve had plenty of that from Bram, and I don’t need it from you as well. ”
Her anger, her very words, silenced him. He hadn’t meant to treat her like her brother, manipulate her into his way of thinking … but he’d done just that.
“There’s no one I would rather be with. I’ve not asked you to save me, though I believe you could. I’ve asked you to love me. And if Gailene were here today, she would wish the same. She’d never want you to give up your life to pursue hatred and revenge. She’d only ask to remain in your heart. ”
The sweet, wise, pushy witch was right. Utterly. But did that change anything?
His shoulders shook as silent sobs wracked his body. “Gailene begged me to save her. As Mathias and the Anarki were slowly killing her, she begged me to rescue her, and I didn’t. ”
“You had no notion what was happening to her, and even if you had, if you’d tried to save her alone, Mathias would only have killed you too. ” Sabelle wrapped her arms around him and held tight.
It was selfish, but he paused for a moment to bask in the warmth of her touch, of her love. How could he live without this for the rest of his centuries? He’d never wanted—needed—anyone more. But reality intruded, and he had to face it.
“At least I would have died with honor. As it is, I wonder if I remained alive so I could feel the weight of my failure for centuries more. Why did Fate take her and leave me?”
“You lived to fight another day. You lived because Gailene would have wanted it. You lived because you didn’t fail her and because Mathias escaping didn’t mean you failed her again; it meant you stayed alive, won the battle and the Council seat, and will live to fight the war ahead of us. If you’re willing to let go of the past and embrace the future. ”
Letting go of the past. Ice closed his eyes. He’d sunk his claws and every inch of regret into the past, giving little thought to the future, to any happiness. Until Sabelle. From the moment he’d seen her, she’d been a fever in his blood. She was his one reason to look forward.
