‘Very gently,’ he said in a calm voice, ‘lower your wand.’
I lowered my arm a few inches and the chairs plummeted a foot towards the floor. Several students screamed in terror.
‘Carefully,’ said Radismus.
As slowly as I could, I moved my wand towards the ground. I could hear some sobbing coming from the front row and I was trying not to feel pleased, but after the years of torment it was hard not to.
Here was the weird thing though – while Gretchen clung to the back of her chair with both arms, and Aphrode stared at the ground while she wailed, Isgranelda sat straight in her chair and stared at me, a triumphant look on her face.
‘I think I’ll drop around sometime next week for a coffee,’ Radismus said once the chairs were safely grounded. ‘It’s been ages since I’ve seen Prunella. Hopefully she’ll make her famous lemon cake.’
‘Okay.’ I was confused. I had just levitated an entire room full of students, without a familiar, and he was more interested in my mother’s lemon cake. It was all a bit weird.
Radismus clapped his hands. ‘Class dismissed,’ he decreed. ‘Have a great holiday, and good luck with the rest of your lives.’
Everyone, except Sabina, sprinted from the hall. I could hear their cheering and yelling and I wished I could join in their merriment.
‘Holy moley,’ Sabby said, staring at me with wide eyes. ‘That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Why didn’t you tell me you had a familiar?’
‘I don’t.’
‘You just levitated a room full of people.’
‘Seriously Sabby, I haven’t.’
‘So it’s an embarrassing animal. What is it? A slug?’
‘No.’
‘An ant?’
‘I don’t…’
‘Ooh. Don’t tell me – it’s a spider.’
I stopped and grabbed her by the shoulders. ‘Sabby, I haven’t been chosen.’
She looked up at me for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. ‘Of course you have. Come on let’s go home and get ready for tonight. We’ve got some celebrating to do.’ She grabbed my hand and dragged me off towards the car park while she chatted excitedly about what she was going to wear that night.
I tried to listen to her, but I couldn’t forget the feel of the power coursing through me. I had had many discussions with Mum and Grams about how it felt to cast a spell, and it had never sounded like that. A burst of energy, a moment where you felt yourself expanding beyond, a second of inexplicable power, a flash of lightning, but never a raging torrent that stretched to the horizon of your mind.
I was scared and confused, but mainly I was relieved. It appeared I was not going to have to get a good job at a law firm in London, and to me, at that moment, that was the most important thing.
2
You Call That A Familiar?
I went for a run when I got home; partly because I hadn’t exercised for days, but mostly because I didn’t want to answer any questions about the exam. I knew I’d have to talk about it eventually, but for the moment I wanted to be alone to think.
The feel of the pavement passing beneath my feet was hypnotic, and after I had run a couple of miles I felt myself starting to relax. Maybe I had been chosen. Maybe the whole bumblebee thing wasn’t so far off the mark. But there was a huge amount of prestige surrounding the type of familiar that chose you, and I had been hoping for an impressive one. I was going to be disappointed if it were a nit.
Cats were the most popular. Especially cats like Phantom; huge, aggressive and aloof. After that it was the reptiles. Diamond pythons topped the chart with the smaller, venomous varieties not too far behind. Next on the list were the birds. Although it was cool to have a raven or a crow, budgies and cockatiels were not so desirable. Then there were the rats, which were better than mice, but even mice were better than insects. If you had to have a creepy-crawly the coolest were the arachnids; and I wasn’t sure how I felt about sharing the rest of my life with a spider.
I ran past a field where a group of people were playing cricket. A batter hit the ball towards the boundary and a witch leapt into the air, far higher than was humanly possible, and hovered there, waiting to catch the ball.
‘Impressive,’ I muttered. Levitation of objects was common to all witches. Levitation of oneself was a great deal harder; something to do with equal and opposite forces.
Humans loved to think that while they slept, we all flew around on broomsticks. Apart from the fact that it was magically impossible, I had never worked out what their fascination with broomsticks was. How comfortable would it be to sit on a stick? Better a flying couch.
Their control over air meant that some faeries could create floating objects, but these were pulled by flying creatures and were rare.
I reached the pole I used to mark the halfway point of my run. A small, white dog sat next to it, his tongue hanging out as he smiled a wolfy grin.
‘Hey boy.’ I bent down to scratch his head and noticed my shoelace was undone. Lucky. Considering the day I was having I probably would have tripped on it and broken an arm.
I was re-tying it when I felt something warm and wet dribbling down the back of my right leg. Swinging around, I spied the dog with his leg still cocked.
‘Bugger off.’ I shoo-ed my hands at him.
He slumped to one side as he stared at me, and then he broke eye contact and proceeded to lick his balls.
‘Charming.’ I shook my head and started off towards home.
It wasn’t till I got home that I realised the dog was still with me. He collapsed on the front door mat, panting and puffing.
I checked him over for a tag, but there was nothing on his black, studded collar. Great. I was going to have to find his owner without any help at all.
‘Eric,’ I said to the front door, ‘it’s Izzy.’
The house shuddered and then the front door swung open. Generations of Scrumpletons had lived here, breathing life and magic into their home. The result was a ‘witching house’; a sentient being that protected us. The little dog leapt up and raced inside, making a beeline for the kitchen.
I patted the door frame as I entered and felt a glow through the palm of my hand. Eric was happy I was home.
‘What’s this?’ Mum asked as the dog plonked himself in the middle of the room and started whining.
‘A dog,’ I replied.
‘I can see that. Where did it come from?’
‘He followed me home,’ I said. ‘Must be lost.’ He walked over to where Mum was cutting up meat for dinner, and stood on his hind legs. ‘And hungry,’ I added.
‘Poor fellow,’ Mum said as she tossed him a piece of steak. Mum’s familiar, Sebastian, jumped off the table where he had been sunning himself and sauntered into the kitchen to examine the new arrival. He extended his nose carefully towards the dog and sniffed him. When he was satisfied there was no immediate threat, he turned his attention to Mum and miaowed.
‘Oh all right,’ Mum said, throwing a piece to him as well.
‘Where’s Grams?’ I took a seat at the kitchen table.
‘In her rooms.’
As if on cue, I heard footsteps echoing down the hall and Grandma Bella burst into the loungeroom. She wore a flouncy evening dress with her enormous python, Cyril, coiled around her shoulders like a shawl. Her hair, which had turned a shocking shade of pink since I’d last seen her, was piled on top of her head.
The photos of Grams on the sideboard show a young woman with movie-star looks and a large smile. The movie-star looks are faded but still present, as is the large, dimply smile and her mischievous, blue eyes.
‘Wow,’ I said. ‘Got a date?’
‘Oh yes, but that’s not important. Sabby told me the good news.’ She spied the dirty, white creature begging for food and her eyes widened in surprise. ‘A dog?’
‘Yes it’s a dog,’ I replied.
‘There’s no such thing as a dog.’
I looked at her in concern. �
��Are you all right Grams?’
‘What have I done?’ She clutched her chest and sank into the chair opposite me, staring at me with concern in her eyes. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Fine, why?’
‘It must be such a shock.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Even for Grams this was strange behaviour.
Mum stopped cutting and looked at Grams. ‘You don’t think?’ She gestured at the dog.
‘What else could it be?’ Grams replied.
‘Can someone please tell me what’s going on?’ I looked from Mum to Grams and back again.
‘Izzy, where did you find this animal?’ Mum asked.
‘I was out running. He peed on my leg.’
‘Dear me.’ Mum slumped against the kitchen cabinetry. ‘A dog? I’ve never heard of such a thing.’
And then I finally twigged.
‘Nooooooooo. No way. Absolutely not. You don’t think…’ I pointed at the dog, whom had begun to clean his private parts again. ‘You don’t think that that is my familiar?’ I finished in a weak voice.
The look on Mum’s face was sympathetic.
‘Great Dark Sky.’ I clutched my nose as a foul smell wafted over us. ‘What is that?’
‘I think your familiar just farted.’ As Grandma Bella put her hands over her face, the front doorbell rang. ‘That will be Lionel.’ She jumped up and raced to the front door. ‘Eric,’ she called, ‘you can let him in.’
‘Who’s Lionel?’ I asked Mum as I stared at the dog.
‘Lionel Heartfelt.’
‘The Lionel Heartfelt?’ Grams was dating the warlock famed for his dangerous exploratory forays into lands occupied by non-friendly magical beings?
I could hear Grams giggling at the front door. ‘Oh Lionel,’ she tittered, ‘you shouldn’t have. But I’m glad you did.’ I wasn’t sure how a 65-year-old woman could get her voice to sound so naughty.
She swished into the kitchen with a huge bunch of orange and yellow striped flowers that she placed on the table while she dug through a cupboard for a vase. The bunch of flowers crawled towards me, a large seedpod opening to expose row-after-row of sharp teeth.
‘Whizbang.’ I jumped out of my seat as the pod snapped at my hand.
‘Good move young lady,’ Lionel boomed in his deep voice. ‘I cultivated them from seeds I gathered in the Pixie Lands. Many a young pixie has lost its life playing hide-and-seek in the garden where these beauties grow.’
‘Ohh,’ I said, ‘that’s, umm, really nice of you to give some to Grandma Bella.’
‘Lionel,’ said Grams, ‘this is my granddaughter Isadora, and my daughter Prunella.’
I was surprised to note that Mum turned a deep shade of red as he kissed her hand. I supposed he was rather dashing with the one white streak through his jet-black hair.
Lionel looked down and said, ‘And who is this?’
I was horrified to see the dog lifting a leg to sprinkle on Lionel’s shoe. I managed to stop him just in time. ‘So sorry,’ I garbled, ‘it’s a stray I found on the street.’ I was not yet ready to admit that this was my familiar, especially not when he had just tried to mark the most prestigious warlock bachelor in the country’s leg.
‘Your beauty is complemented by a good heart.’
‘Oh, gee thanks.’ I was embarrassed to feel myself blushing.
‘We had better go. We don’t want to be late.’ Grams looked quite chuffed with the effect her beau had had on us. ‘Lionel is taking me to see the Mermaid Opera. Apparently it’s wonderful.’
‘It certainly is my dear, and we shan’t be late. I have brought the floating chariot.’
‘Oh Lionel,’ Grams giggled, ‘you shouldn’t have.’
Mum and I trooped out the front on the pretence of waving them off. I know I, however, was keen to see the chariot.
Four white, winged horses, attached to a floating, golden chariot, hovered over our front lawn. The horses flapped their wings lazily as they waited for Grams and Lionel to climb the thin ladder that descended from the carriage to the ground. Once they were safely secured in the back, Lionel picked up the reins, clucked his tongue, and the horses changed their wing movement to a backward thrusting stroke that saw them leaping forwards through the sky. I heard Grams let out a shriek of delight as the chariot raced from our yard.
Mum and I returned to the kitchen with the little dog trotting at my heels.
‘Well Izzy,’ Mum said, taking off her apron and hanging it up, ‘I guess you had better start guessing his name.’
‘We don’t know for sure that he’s my familiar.’
‘Try a spell.’
I picked up my wand and waved it at my textbook. ‘Comius textbookius.’ The book flew off the table and thumped into my chest, knocking me off my feet and onto the floor.
Mum’s blue eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up her forehead.
‘Could have been a fluke,’ I advised her as I clambered back to my feet. Waving my wand at a diningroom chair I said, ‘Risius chairius.’ The chair flung itself into the air, crashing into the ceiling with such force it wedged between two beams.
‘Satisfied?’ Mum stared at the hole in dismay.
‘Sorry,’ I said, grimacing.
‘You go off with your…,’ she looked down at him and shook her head, ‘familiar, and I’ll deal with this.’
‘Come on,’ I said to the dog, gesturing towards the stairs to my room. He stayed where he was, lying on the kitchen floor. I nudged him with my toe and he rolled onto his back and waved his legs in the air. Sighing, I bent over and wrapped my arms around his middle, heaving him into the air. He squirmed and let out a long, wavering fart.
‘Seriously? I said to Mum. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’
‘You always were a different child.’
Once we were both comfortable on my bed I started with the obvious names.
‘Fido… Max… Fang.’ I gauged his reaction as I said each one. Witches don’t have full access to their powers until they complete the bond by guessing their familiar’s name. If they fail to guess, the familiar will eventually depart, leaving them with only a fraction of the powers they would have had. The same as if a familiar died.
An hour later I was sitting on the edge of my bed staring into his brown eyes. ‘You’re sure it’s not Fido?’ I asked him.
He blinked but stayed exactly where he was.
‘You’re pretty cute.’ I ruffled his coat. ‘But you’re a little dirty. We’ll have to do something about that. I think I’ll give you a bath before I take you out in public so you’re not so scruffy.’
He leapt onto my lap and started licking my face.
‘Euuuwww, your breath stinks.’ I held him at arm’s length. ‘Scruffy?’
He barked in response and wagged his stubby tail.
‘All right Scruffy,’ I said in relief, ‘how’d you like to meet my friend Sabby?’
‘Ruuuf,’ he said in response. I took that to be a yes.
I jumped in the shower and, as an afterthought, dragged Scruffy in with me. He didn’t seem very impressed by the whole washing thing.
I towel-dried him and then turned to the difficult prospect of getting myself ready for the evening. Sabby and I were meeting at the Puffin’ Dragon, a new bar in town.
I viewed my tall, skinny frame in the mirror. I didn’t have much feminine shape, not having gotten either Mum or Gram’s curves. In fact the only things I had gotten from them were my blue eyes.
In the end I put on a little, black dress and pulled on some crème pumps, teaming them with a matching clutch Grams had given me for my last birthday. I piled my long, dark hair on top of my head, letting some loose bits dangle down around my face, and placed some silver earrings in my lobes.
‘Not bad,’ I told my reflection. Scruffy seemed to approve. He looked up from his grooming and ruffed at me when I exited the bathroom.
‘Come on, let’s get you some dinner,’ I told him. He certainly approved of that and
raced off to the kitchen. I could hear him barking at Mum.
‘You got it?’ she asked me.
‘Ahuh.’ I nodded my head. ‘It’s Scruffy.’
‘Figures.’ She looked down at him. ‘You’re going to have to give him a bath.’
‘I just did.’
‘You wouldn’t know.’
I looked at him. She was right. He appeared to be as dirty as before I had washed him. ‘He looked clean when I’d finished. I’ll get him some pet shampoo tomorrow.’ I opened the fridge door and stared into its depths. What can we feed him?’
‘I fed him while you were getting ready.’
‘Really?’ I had thought he had been lying in the doorway to my bedroom the whole time.
‘He ate half a chicken.’
‘Must have snuck out while I was doing my hair.’
‘Which looks lovely by the way. Are you off now?’
‘Yep. Off to be publicly humiliated.’
‘Don’t look at it like that.’
‘Mum, I’m seventeen. Of course I’m going to look at it like that.’
Mum burst out laughing and hugged me. ‘Well I’m proud of you,’ she informed me. ‘Now go have some fun.’
‘Yes Ma’am.’ I blew her a kiss and, with my familiar at my side, headed out the front door and into the night.
***
‘A dog?’ Sabina asked me for the fifth time.
‘You’re not going to stop are you?’
‘I haven’t been this shocked since Wally Wangleton pulled his pants down and showed us his privates.’
‘Yes, well, we were all pretty speechless after that.’ I paused and looked around the room. Already a few other students from Eynsford College had drifted in. ‘What’s wrong with a dog?’
I knew exactly what was wrong with a dog, but had convinced myself on the way to the Puffin’ Dragon that if I owned the whole my-familiar-is-a-dog thing, that everyone else would accept it too. It was bad enough that most of the pub’s patrons kept shooting sneaky glances at Scruffy. The fact that my best friend was having issues with it did not bode well.
‘It’s just not done.’
‘Will you leave it alone.’
Faery Born (Book One in the War Faery Trilogy) Page 2
