by Lee Strauss
“The sunset too much for you?” he joked. “I know you’re used to the wide screen version.”
I looked away. “I’m a GAP and a clone. Am I even human?”
“You’re crying. You have emotions.”
“But do I have a soul?”
“I thought you didn’t care about that.”
I turned to him. “I guess I do.”
“Yes, I believe you have a soul.”
It meant so much to hear him say it. Never in my life had I doubted myself, my reason for being, my right to exist. Now everything was in question.
I let out a long, slow breath before taking another small bite of the candy bar.
“We still need to get to the bottom of Liam’s death,” I said. “I know it won’t bring him back, won’t change who, or what, I am, but I need to know the truth.”
“We’ll need Liam’s chip,” Noah said.
“Jackson might know where it is.”
His eyes darted away. “The boyfriend?”
“The ex-boyfriend.”
His eyebrows jumped a little at that. It seemed he was happy to hear it.
“I’ll go see him,” I said.
“I want to go with you.”
“It’s okay, really. I’m fine to see Jackson by myself.”
“I know you’re fine, but I’m not fine. I’d feel better if you didn’t go alone. You can talk to him by yourself if you want. I’ll wait outside.”
I smiled tenderly. “You’re worried about me?”
Noah shrugged. “Nah. Just curious.”
We nibbled on the candy bars in a comfortable silence, taking in the fiery red glow on the horizon.
“I want to go now, get it over with,” I said.
“Go where?”
“To see Jackson.” I tapped my ring, and pressed an icon on the mirage in my palm. “Yes, this is Zoe Vanderveen calling on behalf of my mother, Alison Vanderveen. We need more help cleaning up after the memorial. Please authorize Noah Brody.”
I tapped my ring again and looked at Noah.
“I thought you couldn’t authorize me?”
“That only applies after 9 p.m.”
“Okay, then,” Noah said, lifting the hatch. “Let’s go.”
20
I stood by my pod, waiting the ten minutes we’d agreed upon for Noah to join me. We didn’t want surveillance to pick us up going into Sol City together.
I waved Noah over when I spotted him in the car park.
“I just got a message from Jackson,” I said as he got in. “He left the memorial. He’s at the lab.” I spoke the destination into the pod console.
“I’ve never been in a personal pod before,” Noah said as he strapped in. “Kind of cozy.”
“I’d watch it if I were you. It’s easy to get used to private transportation.”
The twenty minutes to the university lab were both awkward and comforting. Sol City in the evening was beautiful. It was a masterpiece of green design, and the modern architecture glowed with environmentally friendly lighting.
“I’ve never been anywhere but your place in Sol City,” Noah said, taking it all in. “Not a piece of trash in sight.”
“Yeah, well, it’s home.”
But my home was not his home, and it was something we both needed to remember.
“Is it okay if I ask you a question?” he said. “About cloning?”
I flinched. He’d said he didn’t care, but I knew he did. He had to. Reluctantly I agreed.
“I don’t know a lot about the procedure, but I thought a modified egg had to grow in utero, and go through the whole nine-month gestation process again.”
“That used to be true. But now, with advanced biogenetic technology, they can speed the process up. What used to take nine months in a biological womb can now be accelerated in an artificial womb. The technology’s been around for a while, but it’s still illegal to perform on humans. Not to mention immensely expensive. Helps to have an extremely rich grandfather.”
“I know it’s a shock, but you must be relieved. You wouldn’t be alive if your grandfather hadn’t done this for you.”
“I should be grateful, I guess. But it’s hard to wrap my head around it. Who was that first girl? Was she me? Was she my sister?”
Was the fact I was a clone the reason I’d never bonded with Alison? Was it why my mother seemed so disappointed in me? Did I not have the same personality as the first child?
By the time we arrived at the university grounds, I thought my head would explode with all my questions. Questions I didn’t expect Noah to answer, and I was grateful he didn’t try.
“Nice place,” he said as I led the way across campus.
“Well, you know, only the best for us GAPs.”
I tried to imagine what it was like to see the familiar campus through Noah’s eyes. Every building was unique in architectural design. There wasn’t a speck of litter, and the entire place buzzed with only beautiful people.
A year down the road, I’d be a student here. This was something I’d anticipated my whole life. No other option or desire had ever arisen.
Now, I didn’t know what I wanted. Could I attend here knowing what I knew about the corruption at Sol City University? Or at least knowing what I thought I knew?
Last week it was impossible not to picture myself fitting in here. I shook my head, my thoughts and feelings a tangle of confusion.
If I didn’t fit in here, where did I fit? On the outside? No, I’d never be one of them.
So where? I pushed back at the knot that formed in my gut, the small voice that told me I didn’t belong anywhere.
We entered the glass and metal doors of the building marked Technology. I strode down the white-walled hall, fighting the creeping anxiety that grabbed my stomach. If Noah noticed my apprehension, he didn’t show it. I paused when we reached the lab. He stared at me with concern, and I felt myself smile a little. I whispered, “You’ll wait here?”
“Yeah,” he answered, not breaking my gaze. “But leave the door open a few inches.”
I felt a tiny sprout of happiness. It was nice to have someone on my team, someone who knew the truth and wanted to protect me without lying.
I poked my head in the lab. Jackson was there, lab coat on, pressing his face into a microscope. I cleared my throat when I entered.
Jackson stood there looking at me like a lost boy. “Are you reconsidering?”
No hello, no how are you doing?
“Reconsidering what?” I asked.
“Us? Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“No. I came for Liam’s chip.”
“What?”
“Liam’s chip. The reason the authorities couldn’t track him down. Someone removed it. I’m guessing it was you.”
Jackson raked a hand through his shaggy hair. “Zoe, please don’t. You’re getting in too deep.”
“Too deep in what?”
He shook his head in warning. “You have no idea what’s been going on.”
“I didn’t, but I do now. No thanks to you. So did you remove it before or after Liam died?”
“Before. Oh, God, Zoe. It wasn’t my idea. Liam insisted.”
“Why?”
“Because of the experiment.”
“So, it’s true? You were experimenting on him?”
“Yes, no,” he waved his arms around like the wings of a flustered bird. “I can’t tell you.”
“Fine. I’ll find out myself. Just give me the chip.”
Jackson’s eyes drifted to a drawer across the room. I knew he wouldn’t give away the location of the chip so easily. Not normally, but he was tired and stressed.
I ran to the drawer, but he stepped in after me. “No!” He put his arms around me, pulling me away. I felt my feet lift off the floor as he wrestled me away.
“Let me go!”
“You have to leave now,” he said.
I fought back, wrestling to get free.
The room twirled as I was sudd
enly dropped, and with my balance thrown, I fell to the stainless steel floor.
I turned back in time to see Noah right-hooking him in the jaw.
“Noah!”
Jackson crumbled to the floor, out cold.
I crawled to his side. “Jackson?” I pushed his shoulder and a low moan escaped his lips.
I glanced up at Noah. “You’re making a habit of this.”
Noah rubbed his knuckles. “Might be a new hobby.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
“He’ll be fine. Let’s just get the chip and go.”
My gaze darted up to the ceiling where I knew the surveillance camera was installed. “You need to stand there,” I pointed to a spot in front of me. “To block the camera.”
I pulled on the drawer, but it didn’t budge. “It’s locked.” Then I noticed a digital combination that locked both the drawer and the cupboard underneath it. “I don’t know the combination.”
“Did Jackson program it?
“Probably.”
“Try his birthday.”
“Jackson wouldn’t use his own birthday.”
“Then try yours.”
I hesitated then punched in my numbers. Nothing. I tried them backwards. “Nope. Turns out I’m not his inspiration.”
“What about Liam?”
I tried his birthday digits. Nothing.
“This is useless. It could be anything, and I’m sure Jackson changes it regularly.”
“What about the day Liam died?” Noah suggested.
I entered those numbers and was rewarded with a click. The drawer contained a selection of items that must’ve had some importance to Jackson, but the only thing I was interested in was the tiny, pill-shaped chip sealed in a small zip-locked bag. We’d done it. We had the chip.
I slipped it into my pocket and I stepped toward Noah, kissing him lightly on the cheek. He’d fought Jackson for me. He’d helped me when no one else would.
“Thank you,” I said.
I stepped back shyly, wondering if kissing him was okay or had I’d crossed an invisible line. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, his lips landing on mine.
Apparently, it was more than okay.
I kissed him back, surprised by my eagerness. His lips were soft and warm but his kisses were urgent. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grabbed onto his hair. He held my waist pulling me tight, body to body. If I’d questioned my humanity before, I didn’t anymore. The way I felt about Noah was very human.
When he released me, his eyes held mine with such intensity, every nerve in my body ignited. I knew he felt the way I did.
It was wild and crazy.
And probably a really big mistake.
He took my hand. “We should go.”
But the door to the lab opened before we could leave. Mitchell Redding stood there and behind him were two officers, including one I recognized. Officer Grant.
Grant stepped forward with a pair of handcuffs in view.
“Noah Brody, you’re under arrest.”
21
Grandpa Vanderveen joined us for breakfast the next day, his smug sense of self-importance commanding the room. I’d tried to excuse myself from what was sure to be an unpleasant experience, but Alison would have none of it.
“We are family. We can spend one meal together before your grandfather leaves.”
“You’re leaving so soon?” I said, feigning disappointment. Grandpa V sat in Liam’s spot across the table from me.
“Dad’s a busy man,” Paul said brusquely.
“Lots of lives to control and laws to break,” I added.
“Zoe!” Alison dropped her fork.
“Just kidding. You know I’m kidding don’t you, Grandpa?”
Grandpa V just wiggled his well-groomed eyebrows at me. I smirked back. I had more to worry about than hurting an over-confident man’s feelings.
Noah was in jail.
Paul had refused to bail him out last night, absolutely furious that he’d punched Jackson. I wasn’t used to seeing him seethe and his anger didn’t look like it had diffused overnight. Paul’s lips were pursed tight, even as he chewed his scrambled eggs.
It turned out Mitchell was not only a social misfit, but also a snitch. He’d come to the lab un-noticed by Noah or me, perhaps because Noah had been busy knocking the lights out of Jackson, and then promptly called the authorities.
“Dad, we need to talk about what happened last night.”
Paul grunted.
“You have to drop the charges against Noah. Jackson was manhandling me. Noah came to my defense. You should be rewarding him, not punishing him.”
“Jackson is like a second son to us,” Paul said. “Why don’t you tell us what really happened? What were you two fighting about?”
I slumped in my chair.
“It was just a lover’s quarrel,” Alison said. “I’m sure Jackson’s sorry. He didn’t actually hurt you, did he?”
“Just let Noah go.”
“Why were you with Noah Brody, anyway?” Alison persisted.
I leaned back in my chair. Maybe because no one else would help me, no one else would tell me the truth?
“Officer Grant sent me an interesting video clip this morning,” Paul said through clenched teeth. He tapped his ring, pressed the appropriate virtual button and a 3D video popped up.
It was footage of Noah and me locked in our passionate embrace. I felt my face flush red.
“Turn that off!”
“Zoe,” Alison said, horror in her eyes. “The maid’s son? What were you thinking?”
“She’s not thinking, that’s the problem,” Paul said.
“Isn’t that a little harsh?” Grandpa V said, his face fighting off a grin. He was obviously fully amused by the drama transpiring in front of him, but I was thankful, and a little surprised, that he was standing up for me.
“Kids need to spread their wings, test out temptation.” Grandpa V sneaked me a wink. “I’m sure this fancy will pass with time.”
“She’s out of time,” Paul said. “Zoe, I don’t want you to see that boy again.”
I crossed my arms in defiance. “You can’t force me to stop seeing him.”
“But, he’s not a GAP,” Alison said. “You must see the difficulty that comes with that?”
I did, but right at this moment, I didn’t care. At all.
Paul threw his napkin down on a half-empty plate of food. “You will stop seeing him, immediately.”
“And if I don’t?” I challenged.
“Then I guess he’s going to be spending a lot of time in jail.”
“You can’t do that! He didn’t do anything!”
“Assault causing bodily harm.”
“Jackson’s fine. I saw him get up off the floor. He even drove himself home.”
Paul shrugged. “It’s your choice.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I looked away, not wanting Paul to see me as weak. I couldn’t leave Noah in jail, but I couldn’t stop seeing him either. Paul was forcing me to lie. I just hoped I could pull off the charade.
“Ok, you win. I know it would never work for me to date a non-GAP. I was confused and acting stupid because I was mad and hurt. But, at least let me tell him. Let me say goodbye.”
Paul let out a deep breath. “I don’t know. I think the band-aid approach is better in this case.”
“Oh, son, let the girl get some closure,” William Vanderveen interjected. “She’s had a rough week.”
I almost felt like giving my grandfather a hug.
“I’ll give you five minutes to wrap things up with him,” Paul said. “Then I’ll have him escorted home. And I’m driving you there.”
It was a better deal than I’d hoped for.
I felt like all the air in our family car had been sucked out. Paul instructed it to go to the police station, and I kept my gaze out the window, reviewing in my mind what I’d say in the five minutes I’d have with Noah at the Sol City jail.
; The courthouse didn’t look that ominous. Its exterior was stucco painted bright white, like many governmental buildings in an effort to reflect the sun’s rays and to keep the well insulated and protected interiors cool.
My sandals made slapping noises on the dark interior floor tiles as a clerk led me to the overnight holding cells. This wasn’t the place they kept serious criminals. Those guys were shipped to a facility outside of L.A. This was where people were kept temporarily for misdemeanors, mostly younger people with too much time on their hands. I’d insisted Paul wait for me in the reception area, counting on his unwillingness to create a public scene to force a concession.
Noah got up from a narrow bunk when he saw me enter the room. He still wore the well-fitting T-shirt and jeans from the night before, a look that made my heart do a little flip. A tray with breakfast remnants sat on the floor by the bed.
He ran a hand through his dark hair. “Hey,” he said approaching the bars.
“Hey.”
“I’m surprised they let you in to see me.”
I put my hands through the bars, and he took them sending pleasant waves of emotion through me.
“I had to bargain,” I said.
He placed his forehead against the bars. “And what did that entail?”
“I’m not supposed to see you again. This is supposed to be our goodbye.”
I stood on my tiptoes, reaching for his lips through the bars. He lowered his head to reach me. “Supposed to be?” he said through our kisses.
“I’ll find a way to see you,” I kissed back. “Soon.”
We used up the rest of our minutes kissing, and though there was a lot I wanted to say, it could wait until later.
Noah pulled back gently. “Maybe they’re right, Zoe. Maybe...”
“Shh.” I put a finger on his lips. “Let’s not think about right and wrong. Let’s just think about now.”
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“Dad’s posting bail. They’ll escort you home.”
The guard approached. “Time’s up, lovers.”
My fingers sizzled as I slipped them out of Noah’s grasp. Before disappearing around the corner I mouthed, “Wait for me.”
22
