Breaking Beautiful
(The Broken Series #2)
By
Amanda Bennett
Copyright © 2012 By Amanda Bennett
All right reserved. Printed in the United States
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any
information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission
of the author except where permitted by law.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious.
Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not
intended by the author.
Cover By Amanda Bennett
This book is dedicated to all of my amazing friends (old & new) and die-hard fans.
Without all of your love, support and excitement I wouldn’t be the author I am today.
A special thanks to:
My amazing and supportive husband Zach. Without him our lives would be utter chaos run by our two children. Thank you for putting up with my lack of being helpful sometimes, and for letting me disappear into my writing world without question or resentment. I couldn’t do it without you. I love you.
Jenn Foor (author) for being an amazing new friend and an extremely talented author. Thanks for always lending a helping hand and a listening ear and for getting my book out there for everyone to enjoy.
Tamara Beard for helping get my book out there and for being such an inspiration to young women for her hard work and determination.
And
My #1 fan #BookWorm Tamsyn Bester you are truly a dedicated fan and I love it!
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Thank you bloggers and reviewers SO much for taking the time to read and review my book.
Table Of Contents
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty- Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty- Four
Twenty- Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty- Eight
Twenty- Nine
Epilogue
Prologue
Gray
It was never a question of whether or not life was cruel. It was always a question of when I would get to experience its cruelty. Everything came so easy to us in the very beginning, but I was, if anything, unlucky in the game of life. Although my love for her never waivered, not once in all the years I had known her, my strength was constantly being tested. Some might say that I saved her that night. But, in all actuality, it was her who saved me.
I never felt as complete as I did when I was with her. Hell, you could have burned me alive, and I would’ve gone with a smile on my face. That’s how happy she made me. Every moment since has been one to cherish since that night. Our love wasn’t made of fairytales that’s for sure, but damn if it didn’t feel like it to me. She has always been my reason for breathing. Even now, I would lay my life on the line for her. Her love did something to me, something indescribable and unbelievable but it happened and I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
When I thought I had lost her for good, I swear I wanted to die. Without her by my side, there would have been no reason for me to live. If she wasn’t going to make it, you can bet your ass I would have taken my own life, just to be with her. If that scenario meant that I would get to be with her forever, I would’ve done just that.
That woman had awoken something inside of me, even at eleven years old; I knew this fact was true. She is the one I have always wanted by my side, forever. But forever, turned out to be something totally different than what I had imagined.
One
Bennett
“Welcome home, my beautiful girls.” Gray’s voice was hypnotizing to my ears as his soft strong hands slid down my sides, coming to rest on my somewhat burgeoning belly. With my back pulled into his chest he aimlessly traced his fingers across our baby girl, all the while kissing just below my ear. He was driving me wild and my need for him surged through my body. The only problem was the doctor had told us no sex for at least 48 hours. These next two days were going to be PURE HELL. I squeezed his hands in mine before turning around in his arms. His eyes smoldered as they fell upon mine. I knew that look, and I was going to have a hard time resisting him.
I lightly pressed my lips against his before pulling back to walk away. His strong hands wrapped around the back of my neck crashing his lips against mine. I could feel the urgency in his kiss, mainly because I was feeling the exact same way. Our kissing slowed to a more natural pace before he released me. I was breathless. There was no better way to describe how Gray made me feel.
A smile played at his lips as his hand landed softly against my ass, strolling passed me into the kitchen. My heart leapt with joy. I watched the man I was going to marry disappear into the kitchen. No, we weren’t engaged yet, but it was sure to happen. I laughed at myself. The tips of my fingers slid across my swollen lips. I smiled bigger at the thought of having his lips pressed against mine. I made my way into the living room and plopped myself down on the couch. My head fell back against the cushion as I closed my tired eyes.
Gray walked over to the couch minutes later and nestled me into his chest. I breathed in his scent, almost as it was the last thing I would ever smell. I loved this man more than my own life. Him saving my life that night only solidified it. I could hear his breathing slow as I pushed myself as close to him as I could get. Still, it just wasn't close enough. This whole “no sex” thing was going to kill me. I was sure of it. His hand came up to the crown of my head and started running his long fingers through my hair. It felt like heaven and my eyes began to close.
What felt like seconds later, I woke to Gray shaking me. I couldn't quite fathom what the hell was going on, so I smacked his hands off of my biceps.
“Bennett, are you okay?” His voice was rushed, filling with fear.
“I'm fine, except for the fact that you are shaking the shit out of me.” I pushed his hands off of my arms and began rubbing them, trying to bring the circulation back into my appendages.
“You were screaming bloody murder. Were you having a nightmare?” He cautiously pulled my hands into his lap.
“I have no idea. I'm sorry.” I felt horrible for waking him in that way.
His hands were rubbing the back of mine so hard; I swear the skin was going to burn off. “I’m sorry. Let me go get the doctor.” His lips brushed against the raw skin on my hands as he stood up in front of me.
“Doctor? Gray what are you talking about? We’re already home, baby.” I was utterly confused.
“Bennett, you’re still in the hospital. It has only been about a week since you woke up.” He pushed his long fingers back into his hair. I h
eard a loud sigh escape his lungs and I crumbled.
It had all been a dream. Well, more along the lines of a nightmare. Panic shot through me like a bolt of lightening. My hands flew to my stomach, clutching onto the hideous empty hospital gown. “Was the pregnancy just a dream too?” Tears slid down my swollen cheeks while my uncontrollable sobbing racked my body.
Gray was instantly at my side, pulling me onto his lap. His hands slid back through the fallen strands of hair around my face. He pushed his lips against my forehead and I could feel his tears meshing with mine. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, holding me as close as humanly possible.
“Gray, answer me.” I begged in between sobs.
He tugged my chin up so that we were face to face before he began to speak, “Bennett, you are pregnant but-“ More tears escaped from his eyes and all I could imagine was the worst.
I ran my fingers underneath his eyes, catching the stray tears falling down his broken face. “Please tell me.”
“Maybe I should have the doctor come in and explain it to you.”
I clutched onto his arm with all of my might, “don’t you dare. Gray, I want you to tell me, not some doctor.”
“Fine.” I noticed the long intake of breath he took, so I prepared myself for the worst. “You are pregnant Bennett but the baby is not out of the woods yet. Because of how much blood you lost, the baby is fighting to survive. The doctor says it doesn’t look good.” He hung his head, burying it into my chest.
I lay back against the hard hospital bed trying to make us more comfortable.
“So…none of it really happened?”
“What do you mean?” His voice vibrated through me, sending chills up my spine.
“In my dream, I started talking to you. Then you asked Theo to get the doctor. He came in and talked to me about all of my injuries and then I heard a monitor. It was the baby’s heartbeat but I didn’t know it at the time. Then, you told me we were having a girl.” I couldn’t stop the next wave of tears that began to fall. Gray moved himself further up the bed to hold me. I slammed my head into his hard chest letting the tears run free.
“Bennett, all I know of what happened after we got here was what you told the doctor. Then he in turn told me. You woke up briefly as they were rolling you into surgery. You told the doctor he needed to hurry because you were pretty sure you thought you were pregnant. You passed out a few seconds later. Sure enough, as soon as they put you under they ran a blood panel and it came back positive. There was so much blood. All I could see was red all over myself. I thought you were dead. I honestly thought I had lost you, forever this time.”
“The doctor came out a couple of hours later and explained the extent of your injuries. He also explained to me that you were pregnant and asked me if I had known. Of course I told him no, but I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when he told me. Then he told me that you would most likely pull through, but that our baby’s health was still in question. I lost it Bennett! I literally lost it. I hit anything and everything that got in my way as I ran out of the hospital. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt as though I was to blame and I couldn’t be the one to tell you that our baby may or may not live. The doctor explained that you were so early into the pregnancy that it would be a miracle if the fetus survived.”
My head shot up catching his face in my hands, “did you just call our baby a fetus?” I don’t know why but I was suddenly livid. How could he call the tiny piece of him inside of me, a fetus? How insensitive could he be? I shook my head while pushing his body up off of the bed. “GET OUT!” I shouted emphatically.
“Button, please don’t do this. I’m just trying not to get attached. I’m so afraid that if I let myself love ‘it’ that this, us, will disappear. Please, don’t push me away.” His hand reached out for the comfort of mine but I pulled away.
“Just go, Gray. I need some time to be…alone.” I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. I knew the scared and vacant look he had on his face; I had worn it so many years ago. The click of the door shutting brought my attention to the shadowy figure hovering over the end of my bed.
“What are you trying to do to him and yourself?” Hannah’s voice was stern and angry. I was in for it.
Two
Gray
I couldn’t believe how she was being. How could she not understand that getting attached to our child, if it didn’t survive this…it would kill me. I walked into the hospital cafeteria, anger rolling through me. I knew I wasn’t hungry but I had to do something to keep my mind off of Bennett. I finally got her back and she was keeping me at an arms length. Damn that infuriating woman. I swear! After grabbing an apple and some cereal I decided to head back to the waiting room. I had seen Hannah walk into the room as I was leaving, but I hadn’t known that Theo had come with her.
Theo and I had gotten really close over the last little while. We had a shit ton of things in common and, well, it helped that our girlfriends were best friends. He was a pretty chill guy.
“What’s goin’ on, Bro?” I smacked his leg off of the chair across from him, so I could sit down.
“Not a whole lot, man. How are you holdin’ up?” I knew the look of concern in his eyes but I brushed it off. I had to play it cool. I needed everyone, Bennett included, knowing that I could be her strength through this ordeal.
“I’m doing okay.” I wanted to tell him how I was really feeling, but guys don’t really talk about that shit. I bit into my apple hoping this conversation was over. I should have known better; I wasn’t that lucky. Hannah’s 110-pound skinny ass came barreling into the waiting room seconds later. Before I knew it, her finger was poking into my chest and her face was right in front of mine.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean seriously, after everything she’s been through, that’s how you treat her?”
“Han-“ She was cutting me off before I could even try to explain myself.
“Don’t you dare Hannah me, asshole. She is in hell and you’re making it worse.”
I stood quickly, making Hannah jump back into Theo’s lap. I didn’t get as close to her as she had been to me, but I was much bigger than she was and I didn’t want to scare her.
“Listen here, you entitled bitch. I am doing the best I can to hold my shit together. You think I don’t know that she is going through hell right now? I am too! But it is harder than hell to get myself attached to that growing baby, when we don’t even know what is going to happen. It may sound like I’m a dickhead, but I can’t go through losing two babies in a matter of five years. So maybe, you should start thinking about somebody else besides yourself.” I flung myself back into the chair I was sitting in prior to my outburst. Guilt immediately washed over me. “I’m sorry, Hannah. That was uncalled for.” I clutched my head in my hands and bent forward. I could feel my world spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
I felt her cold hand against my burning skin before she spoke. “I’m so sorry, Gray. I didn’t even think of that. I don’t think Bennett has even thought of that. I’m just pissed. You two, of all people, deserve a happiness, and not at this cost.”
I wrapped my arm around her head that was resting on my shoulder, “thanks Hannah.” A few minutes later Hannah and Theo left to go check on the house and bring Bennett some fresh clothing. I hadn’t left the hospital since the day she had been admitted. Sure, I left the actual building but never far enough where they couldn’t find me in a moments notice. I was in desperate need of a shower, but there were bigger things happening; a shower could wait.
I hadn’t been getting too much sleep as of late, so when the nurse came out to tell me that Bennett was sleeping, I took the opportunity to get some shuteye. I snuck back into the small white hospital room, afraid of waking her up. As I made my way over to the small cot they had set up for me, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. Bruises, cuts and all, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I wanted so badl
y for all of this to work out. I was desperate for it.
As I started getting myself comfortable on my little bed, I heard a whisper from her side of the room. I wasn’t sure if it was her but I got up to check just in case.
“Gray?” Her voice was just below a whisper.
“Yes, Button? Do you need something?”
“Just you, Gray. I just need you.” She patted the empty space she had made on the bed next to her. I shook my head, disagreeing with her idea. I didn’t want to hurt her or the baby. She insistently pulled my arm towards her, dragging me onto the bed. I was too exhausted to argue anymore, so I gave in. Besides, I needed to be next to her, to feel her. I conceded and snuggled her into my arms. I pulled her back so close to my chest I could feel her breathing. I had needed this more than even I had thought.
“I’m so sorry, Gray.”
I pressed my lips to the top of her head, “don’t be, Button. Shhh, just go to sleep.”
I was getting one of the best night’s sleep, or day’s sleep, when the nurse hovering over us woke me. Monitors were blaring and alarms were going off. I quickly shot off of the bed and ran around to the other side. I was confused at what was going on, and nobody was giving me any answers. When I reached for Bennett’s hand, it was frosty and a mute grey color. Immediately, I was being pushed out of the room as the doctor came rushing in. I didn’t know if it was Bennett or the baby, but either way it couldn’t be good. My heart was in my throat, constricting all my breathing. I slid down the wall across from her door, and for the second time in my life, I cried.
Breaking Beautiful (Broken Series #2) Page 1
