by Ed Nelson
Sunday was a quiet day though it wasn’t lost. I spent the day on horseback and then drove into town for dinner. I was getting tired of cooks banging around. She certainly didn’t approve of drinking.
At the restaurant, I was given a quiet table in the corner as it was a slow night. That didn’t deter a man from approaching my table and sitting down without an invitation.
He was a little older than me. He dressed like an Oxford student, carelessly. His accent marked him as a longtime resident.
“Lord Blackhoof, please excuse my rudeness. This appears to be the only way I can talk to you. Since he was polite, I decided to hear him out and signaled the approaching manager that it was okay.
“How can I help you?”
“You already have. I’m here to tell you that Deng is in power now and that Lady Ping will be ascending the Throne.”
“Any date on her ascension?”
“We think February 1st by your calendar, which is our January 8th. Neither of them is Dragons so there is no clash. The ceremony will be facing south the opposite of north which is evil that day.”
“Lady Ping and Chairman Deng have requested your presence to represent the British Crown and an Ambassador from the British government.”
“I can commit to being there as a private individual. I will have to get the Crown's permission to represent the Queen. As far as an Ambassador that is up to the Prime Minister and his cabinet, but I suspect they will be happy to send someone.
I could see that Monday would be a terribly busy day. The gentleman gave me a telephone number to call when I could answer the invitations. He gave his name, Hsian-Tsung. He had to be a relative of Lady Ping.
After passing me that information he got up abruptly and left. I wonder what that was about. I was finished with my meal so I threw more than enough to pay for the meal and tip on the table and followed him.
When he went outside, I stopped and looked out the front window of the restaurant. I was glad I did, he seemed to have a security detail that didn’t appear to be happy with him. He had dodged them long enough to talk to me.
Not wanting to ruin his risk-taking I walked to the kitchen door. The manager joined me as he had been watching the curious doings.
“May I leave out the back?”
“Follow me Lord Blackhoof.”
Sometimes notoriety has its advantages. I went down the alley several blocks and came out near my garage where I had parked my car.
As no one was in sight I got into the Aston Martin and drove sedately out of town. I may have stepped on it a little when I was outside Oxford limits, but no Panda chased me down.
Chapter 3
The first thing I did Monday morning was to call my bank. I explained to my account manager that he would get a call from the father of my friend Steve applying for a loan.
I would guarantee the loan and even though he would ask for ten thousand pounds he was to extend a line of credit of twenty-five thousand. Things always cost more than you thought.
I no sooner hung up the phone than I had an incoming call from my movie agent Clark Miller. It had been a long time since we had communicated. I had instructed him not to send me any scripts until told otherwise.
The last time we had talked was to commiserate on being snubbed by the Oscar committee. It seems, ‘Over the Ohio,’ had too much commercial success for their taste. If the common public liked it, it couldn’t be highbrow enough for an Oscar.
I will take the money over their silly little statue any day. Granted it is a true honor for those who earned it but there was as much politics as worthiness involved.
I had learned about this at Warner Brothers. It still didn’t mean it hadn’t stung a little. I thought it was well done. Especially since I didn’t have many scenes.
Clark wanted to let me know that the Wayne people had contacted him about the script John Wayne had shown me. I apologized for not contacting him. So much else had been going on. Feeding a country for one.
Anyway, they were sending him a copy. I still had the one John had given me and I promised to give it a serious read to see if I were interested and I would get back to him no matter what. I had some time on my hands now since Oxford didn’t seem interested in educating me.
I knew this because when I got back to The Meadows there had been a letter waiting for me. I had put off telling my parents, or even thinking about it. I was in denial.
Oxford was making my expulsion permanent. They felt I was a bad influence on the student body and traditions of the University. And oh, by the way, my financial contributions were appreciated, and would I keep sending them.
My support for the archaeological dig was in a contract so I couldn’t change that. I wouldn’t anyway. I loved the work and discoveries going on. As far as financial contributions they must be kidding me!
I will continue to support the military students but not the endowment fund of the University. They can go pound salt…up somewhere.
I wonder if a 707 can be used for low-level bombing.
I had to have something to do, maybe a movie would be just the ticket. It would get me out of England the scene of my disgrace.
After hanging up I went to get a bottle of Coke and the phone rang again for me. It was Mr. Norman.
“Rick, I have been expecting a conversation with you about your expulsion from Oxford. Since you haven’t called, I thought I would reach out to you.”
“To tell the truth I’ve had the letter for several days but have been ignoring it.”
“Dear boy you know it won’t go away.”
“I know, it does hurt. I didn’t think hitting the Chancellor in the face with purple dye-rated expulsion. I understood being sent down for a term but kicked out for good!”
“It does seem harsh; I made some inquiries. It seems you have riled up some of the senior dons.”
“What have I done?”
“Been successful.”
“They feel that your success has little to do with them. Since it doesn’t reflect well on them, they don’t want you overshadowing them.”
“How do I overshadow them?”
“They are used to being pointed out when they walk across campus, now all eyes are on you.”
“I can’t fix their jealousy. It’s not that I tried to get in these situations.”
“If you had only waited until graduation, they could have taken credit for your successes.”
“How inconsiderate of me. Hey, do you know if a 707 can be retrofitted for low-level bombing?”
“Let’s not be hasty.”
“I won’t but I wouldn’t care if they got word, I was looking at the option.”
“Settle down or I will call the Countess.”
“That’s another thing I haven’t done. I have to tell Mum and Dad.”
“Before that, the Queen has asked if you want her to bring her pressure on Oxford.”
I had to think about that. I was quiet on my end of the line for a few moments.
“No, it would be a waste for the Crown to use its influence. I don’t want to be associated with them going forward, even if they would voluntarily reinstate me.”
“All right, I will tell Her Majesty. In the meantime, you should call your parents.”
“I’ll do that as soon as the time zones let me.”
Yeah, wake them in the middle of the night to tell them I’ve been kicked out of school. Not on your life.
Before I hung up, I filled him in on my meeting last night. He told me he would make inquiries and give me a course of action. It would probably take several days.
I went to the library with my Coke and picked up the script that Mr. Wayne had given me. He wanted me to call him John and I would sometimes, but he would always be Mr. Wayne.
The script was good. I was a perfect fit. A young Englishman who was newly arrived in America to study at Yale accidentally gets involved with the CIA.
His not knowing Americanisms leads to some low comedy. As a counterpoint,
there is some heavy action especially a chase scene in which he is left dangling from the Statue of Liberty.
There were pretty girls involved but no real love interest.
I decided that I would like to do the movie. I called Clark and told him that I had gone through the script and wanted to do the part.
He was to open negotiations with the Wayne group. A low salary was okay but points in the movie an absolute.
He wanted to know how many points.
“As many as you can get if John Wayne doesn’t call me to complain you haven’t tried hard enough.”
“I thought you two were friends.”
“We are this is how friends play, I will give in but want to have some fun along the way. Oh yes and demand a bit part for Nina Monroe.”
“Is her father the head of Warner Brothers? That Monroe.”
“Yes, and she is my girlfriend. Happy girlfriend, happy life or something like that.”
“Got it, points and bit part. I will take it from here.”
“Thanks, Clark.”
It was my day to be on the phone. I called Nina next, not to tell her about the movie, that would wait until it was a done deal. It was to tell her about being kicked out of school.
She already knew it was in the tabloids. That meant my parents knew also. Dang.
She was sympathetic as one would expect from a girlfriend. They were unfair, mean, and nasty. What was I going to do?
I told her negotiations had just opened for a new movie being produced by John Wayne. She thought this would be great. At one time we would have been upset with the long distance between us, but that wasn’t a problem with a jet plane at our disposal.
I told her I couldn’t talk long as I had to call my parents. She wished me luck.
I got through to Dad in his office. It so happened Mum was there. They put me on a speaker. These neat new devices were cropping up in a lot of offices.
It was a little awkward in that you could speak or listen but not both. We had to take turns. They did know about my expulsion and had made some phone calls.
I wasn’t in any trouble because it was all political. We agreed that my time at Oxford was finished. I gave them an update on China and my invitation and seeing about the new Chinese being recognized by Great Britain. I was waiting for instructions from the Palace.
There was also the matter of the new movie. They thought that was a wonderful idea. It would give me something to do. They also wanted me to have another Hollywood success. I think not being nominated for an Oscar bothered them more than me.
That was Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I wanted to play golf, but the weather was bad, there was even an inch of snow. Instead, I reread the movie script several times getting a better feel for what they wanted to show.
Chapter 4
On Thursday morning I received a phone call from Mr. Norman, could I please attend a meeting at the Palace at 2:00 pm today? I told him that I could but that I would be driving down as the weather was too rotten to fly if you didn’t have to.
He asked if I had considered taking the train to town. I hadn’t but that was a great idea. Mr. Hamilton kept a train schedule at the house so I was able to find out that by leaving at ten o’clock I could have a nice lunch in London and still be at the Palace on time for my meeting.
My nice lunch turned into a problem. An inattentive waiter serving the next table backed up, hitting me. I was taking a sip of coffee at the time and ended up with it all over my white shirt and tie.
Thank goodness I had taken off my coat jacket and I didn’t get any on my pants. They wanted to do a seltzer cleaning job on me, but I told them it wouldn’t work and that I was due at the Palace in an hour.
I left while hearing many apologies. I only hope the guy didn’t lose his job; accidents happen but I didn’t have time to talk to the manager.
I was able to get a cab to Harrods. From there it was a simple matter of buying a shirt and tie. Of course, I fumbled my cuff links, but it all worked out and I got to the Palace on time.
The meeting was about my invitation to China to see Lady Ping’s coronation as Empress. From what they had been able to find out she would be a constitutional monarchy like England’s.
That seemed odd, I had never considered the Communists working under a constitution, but they did. They violated it all the time to their benefit but had it as a fig leaf for their actions.
I thought Lady Ping may have some influence on their future actions. They may consider her a figurehead, but I think she would be more than that.
There was also the possibility that she was a figurehead, a figurehead for Deng as he changed China. That would be a best-case scenario.
I was told the Crown would be delighted for me to attend the coronation and that the government was to ask me if I would allow an official government representative to accompany me.
Talk about being a figurehead. I could recognize a power play when I saw it. The Queen was showing the government that she was still a power to be reckoned with.
Being from the US I believed in the Republic heart and soul. Being from the UK I thought the Queen was doing simply fine and that ever since Churchill the politicians had just mucked things up.
The Queen and Prime Minister had one of their regular meetings at three o’clock. He would brief her on government actions and proceedings. Today he would be in for a shock.
Later as he was brought into a small parlor where I waited, he did look put out.
“Now hear here, Jackson, this is not how things are done. We will be sending an Ambassador and he will run the show.”
“I’m sorry to hear that you won’t be sending anyone.”
“Didn’t you hear me?”
“I heard your words, but you don’t understand that the invitation is to me and those who I choose to invite.”
“You will invite us, and we will run the show.”
“Or what?”
“I will run you out of England!”
“Okay, I can be wheels up from Heathrow in about three hours, it will take some time to ferry the plane down from Oxford.”
That stopped him cold.
“I will have your departure denied.”
“I thought I was being run out of England.”
At that, the man stopped and collected himself.
“We have got off on the wrong foot.”
“No, you have got off on the wrong foot.”
All the time in the movies voicing the lines writers had given me taught me a good turn of phrase. Especially from the Victorian Sir Nickalous.
He looked like he had swallowed a lemon but restarted.
“Would you please invite our Ambassador along as we wish to establish relations with China? He would oversee diplomatic matters while I hope he can give you some guidance on the proper etiquette in these situations.”
“I would be delighted; I realize I’m not trained or competent for this situation. I intend to go and enjoy the show as a good guest.”
At that, he gave a short laugh.
“You are just as hard-nosed as your Mum.”
“You know my mother?”
“The Countess and I have a history going back to the war.”
This was said in a neutral tone so I couldn’t read anything into it. He didn’t seem inclined to elaborate so I had to let it drop. What all had my Mum done in the war? She certainly had got around.
“May I ask, has the same invitation been extended to the Americans?
“Not to my knowledge, nothing was said to make me think they will be part of this.”
‘Wonderful, it will be nice to take a world leadership victory from the Yanks, they are a good ally but still it is nice to one-up them occasionally.”
“This one will be one for the history books. England opens up China.”
“More along the line that Lord Blackhoof opened up China.”
“I doubt that. You politicians are good at finding a way to take the credit.”
&
nbsp; He looked affronted for a moment, then gave an honest laugh.
“Got it in one. I will start the process as soon as I get back to Number 10.”
“Is there a problem of letting the American government know what is going on?”
“As long as the Chinese don’t object.”
“I will ask them when I call my contact.”
“Is your contact truly Lady Ping?”
“Yes.”
“I was told that but wasn’t certain I believed it.”
“It is a long story, but I have had contact with her for several years now as a conduit between the Chinese government and MI 6. Though now I wonder if the government in power even knew what was going on.”
“What sort of security did you receive for that enormous loan?”
“It was sealed with a handshake.”
“My God, I was told that but find it incredible, to say the least. You could have and might still lose a fortune.”
“Easy come, easy go.”
At that he bid me farewell, shaking his head as he went. Poor little politician, never able to trust anyone. What a sad life.
Before I left the Palace, I returned to Mr. Norman’s office and updated him on my conversation with the Prime Minister.
Mr. Norman had a good laugh about me being kicked out of England. The Queen would have dissolved the government first, and called for new elections, making certain all knew what happened.
The average Englishman didn’t pay that much attention to world affairs, but they understood fair play.
I decided to call Hsian-Tsung through the Palace switchboard. I liked the thought of him picking up the phone and being told it was Buckingham Palace on the line, would he please hold for Lord Blackhoof.
I did get through to him, but he made no mention of my little power play. The games he played probably ended up in gunfire. My little trick would go unnoticed.
He was pleased to hear that I would be attending, and that the British government was sending an Ambassador. By the way, you can tell President Kennedy you have been invited and the British are coming but they will not be invited.”
“May I ask why?”
“We remember Korea.”
