“What’s the matter with you?” the older man questioned, like he hadn’t antagonized Marvin to no end. “I’m only sitting here having a chat with my godson.”
“That’s all?” Marvin heckled, obviously annoyed.
“Yeah, you didn’t want to discuss why you had to knock and how this man shows up, but I’m ready to hear why you went over there looking for trouble?”
“Trouble found me. I—I was just…just,” Marvin stammered. “I was in the middle of a quiet night. I was sleeping like a baby because I’d had a little too much to drink. I thought I was dreaming at first; then I felt her hands, so I knew it was really happening.”
“I thought you were gonna tell me what you’re talking about. You’re going slow enough and I still can’t keep up.” Dave’s eyes begged for plain talk in simple terms.
“Whew, I was sleeping when Chandelle’s cousin let herself into my apartment and then climbed on top of me.” That revelation caused Dave to whip out a handkerchief to wipe his mouth. He was drawn in too much to interrupt with foolish commentary and stall the juicy narrative. “I thought she was Chandelle coming back to me, but Dior had on this wig and perfume. It was a mess.”
“Not so far it ain’t,” he debated. “What happened then?”
“Nothing, I mean, she said something Chandelle wouldn’t say, not ever. She was going to work on me, then shouted, ‘Let it go, Daddy.’ Chandelle was molested by one of her mother’s boyfriends who made her call him that so…”
“I see,” Dave whispered, in respect to Chandelle’s secret. “What did she say when you told her about the freaky cousin?”
“I was rushing over to tell her when the guy popped up at her place. Now I don’t know how to handle any of it.”
Having been around the block a few times himself, Dave examined Marvin before he submitted the question that needed to be asked: “Be honest, and not just to me when you open your mouth, did you know that wasn’t your wife before you finished?”
“I didn’t think so at the time, but the more I flash back…I can’t be sure. It happened so fast.”
Dave wiped sweat from his forehead. “Don’t sound like it happened all that fast to me. Tell you one thing, though, you’d better sound a lot more positive if you’re thinking on taking that story to Chandelle. I’m rooting for you and I find it hard to back your story.”
“I know how it sounds and that’s exactly why I’ve kept it to myself,” Marvin explained. “She could be pregnant. I told you this was a big mess.” He noted how Dave’s eyes closed like he was trying to recollect or reconcile something in his mind. Within a few seconds, Marvin knew which one. It was a recollection. A memory tucked so far back in the recesses of his mind that it took some dusting off to come out fresh enough to spin.
“Ahh, I know where I’ve seen this tale play out before, live and in Technicolor. I was gonna take this to my grave, but it won’t do no good down there. Some years ago, there was this certain man who’d fallen for two women at the same time. One he loved something awful and another he loved to be with more than anything. The woman he couldn’t do without got herself into some trouble, that’s what old folks used to say when a girl was having a baby without a husband, you understand. Well, by the time this fellow learned of her condition, he was two weeks from marrying his soul mate.”
Marvin was mesmerized. It made his situation pale by comparison. “What happened? What did the man do?”
“That man was your father, Marvin. Don’t think any less of him because he loved your mother with all his heart. He kept his mouth shut to her like he was supposed to and like I told him he’d better do. He cried though and I cried, too. If you’re looking for something to call a big mess, that was it. As it turned out, several other cats in the neighborhood enjoyed the young girl’s company as much as your daddy did. The baby wasn’t none of his. The way it stands now, you’re one up on him.”
“How do you mean?” Marvin asked, while processing the revealing information.
“Because you’re worrying over what we old-timers call an egg that ain’t been laid. Marvin, first you need to double back and grill the hen. Hold her feet to the fire so she’ll tell you what’s what. You’re a business man, get out there and handle your business…man. If Chandelle learns about her cousin’s roadside ways and your uh…undetermined willingness to participate, better it be your tongue doing the wagging when she does. She’s your wife. You owe her that much.”
“I guess I do at that,” Marvin agreed. “But hey, you didn’t tell me what became of the girl with the baby.”
Dave clasped his hands and smiled uncomfortably. “Well, I send the mother a little something from time to time to help her get by and my daughter Monique is a practicing dentist now,” he answered, beaming wide to show off his daughter’s handiwork. “She’s making out just fine. Ain’t nothing new under the sun, young blood. People have been trying to figure out what to do about life when it don’t go according to plan since the dawn of man. You’re not the first and don’t think you’ll hardly be the last.”
“Wow, don’t you think it’s a lot to get over considering what I saw?” Marvin replied solemnly.
“That’s a good question.” Dave threw back across the table. “What did you see? I mean really? If Chandelle had walked in on you with her relative, that would be a whole ’nother issue.” When Marvin couldn’t say with certainty what had transpired before he arrived, the weathered veteran gave him a knot to cut his teeth on. “If you haven’t learned anything else today, remember that things in this funny world are rarely what they seem. Do yourself a favor and find out for sure.”
“Yes, sir, I will,” Marvin said with the utmost sincerity.
Dave stroked his chin and chuckled heartily. “That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all morning.”
Marvin got up to leave. He shook hands and grabbed his coat. “Thanks for everything, Dave. What you’ve said means a lot to me, all of it. Uh,” he said, to clear everything in his mind, “I’m confused about what you want me to do with your last two rental properties?”
“Oh those, why don’t you take them off my hands? I’m willing to let them go to you at half the value.”
“That’s generous, but I can’t accept that,” Marvin objected.
“That’s nonsense. Where’s that waitress?” he joked, looking around the restaurant for her. “Marvin, you’re the son I never had, but I’m as proud of you as if you were my own. Besides, you’ve been a good friend and haven’t once asked me for a dime. Now go on and get the papers drawn, I’ve got to call a woman about a long boat ride.”
Marvin stood longer than Dave figured he should have, so he glared at Marvin and then frowned. “Why didn’t I marry Monique’s mother when I should have? You didn’t hitch your cart to a broken wagon back then. It took five years for me to discover I was the one who broke it. Shame stood in my way then. Now I’m flat out of excuses and Sadie has turned out to be a fine lady. I’m hoping it ain’t too late for her to give me a second chance to do the right thing. In all honesty, I loved that girl more than your pops did. That was the real reason I cried so hard when he thought her baby was his.”
Marvin walked out of the restaurant with his breakfast wrapped in styrofoam and his mind in a million little pieces. He’d gotten the lesson of a lifetime from a man who cared enough to pass down massive chunks of wisdom and a small portion of history for his benefit. Dooney was right about him. Marvin was the kind of man to take marriage seriously. Although he didn’t know where to begin about sorting out the details that led him down a disastrous path, he realized there were now three obstacles standing in his way: the truth, a lie, and a maybe.
30
Something Worth Saying
Chandelle awoke at 5:00 A.M. She had dreamt of her first date with Marvin. The memory put a smile on her lips just thinking about it. The reservations he made at an upscale restaurant off the tollway impressed her, the hour-long wait despite their reservation did not. Chandelle, very hungry at the
time, asked if it was all right with Marvin if she traded in her date at the fine restaurant for a bite at the first full-service snack shop they could find. What they found was an open table at a nearby Taco Bueno and had their fill for ten dollars and change.
Life was so simple then, Chandelle thought while flicking on the lamp on the nightstand next to her bed. She opened the top drawer and pulled out a notebook and an ink pen. Since Marvin won’t talk to me, she reasoned, maybe he’ll let me talk to him this way. Chandelle propped two pillows behind her back as she closed her eyes for a silent prayer to ask for the right words to convey the feelings she held so deeply, heavy with remorse and reconciliation. She took an exaggerated breath and began writing a letter she hoped he’d someday read.
Marvin,
I love you dearly and miss you even more than words can say. Every night I fall asleep wishing none of the things that hasdriven us apart happened, and each morning I wake up hoping this will be the day we find a way to begin putting them behind us. I’ve messed up, turned my back on you, and gone out of my way to hurt you. I’m so sorry for ruining what used to be a wonderful relationship and tearing down the best thing that ever happened to me, the love we once had. Your friendship meant a lot to me. Living without it is getting to be more than I can handle. Knowing that you have the right to hate me hurts just as much. I thought about us today, the us that we used to be and our first date that ended when the sun came up. You were the perfect gentleman, although I was secretly willing to make love and make you mine before you drove me home. Kissing you good night wasn’t nearly enough for me, but it told me everything I needed to know about you, the patient man you were and how much you valued taking the time to cherish me. I called my mother that day and told her that I’d just spent the night with the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She said that you must have really put it on me. Well, you did. You put something on my mind, my heart, and my soul that I still wear proudly today.
Marvin, I’m not perfect, I’ve proved that time and again. I’ve handled things with my heart instead of with my head. Forgive me. I miss having you there to towel me off after a long shower. I miss rubbing your back when you’ve pulled a double shift. I miss you letting me cheat at cards when I’m losing. I miss the way you kiss me tenderly when I pout. I miss holding hands when we shop and the way people look at us, happy with our hands clasped together. Oddly, I even miss you getting on me about overpaying for things you say I don’t need to make me more beautiful. I miss you holding me. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard you say my name, even though I swear I can hear your voice everywhere I go. You are a part of me, Marvin. The best part of me is you. I used to know exactly what love felt like, inside and out. I miss us, belonging together. I miss that most of all.
Chandelle
Chandelle placed the letter inside an envelope. On her way into the office, she wrote Marvin’s name on it, and then slid it inside of the mail slot at Hightower Realty. She felt that he might be more inclined to read it if someone else handed it to him.
Marvin recognized Chandelle’s handwriting the second he picked it up from the reception desk. Moved that Chandelle had the nerve to wander into unfriendly territory, Marvin couldn’t wait to see what had inspired her.
On a lonely side road off the freeway, Marvin broke the seal on the envelope. Apprehensively, he pulled out two pages of yellow paper and unfolded them slowly. Looking at the ink bleeding through the paper in various spots, Marvin could tell that Chandelle had also penned the letter with her tears. “Marvin, I love you,” he read aloud, thinking how long it had been since he’d heard that from her. He read further, only silently until he reached the part she’d written about the things she’d missed about him. “I miss toweling you off too,” he said with regret. “And the way you rubbed my back. Working a double did have its rewards. You always cheated at cards and I loved kissing your pouting lips when you lost.” Marvin’s eyes watered as he read the rest of Chandelle’s unabridged epistle of regrets, culpability, and love. He glanced out of his car windows, hoping no one saw him choking on emotion. “You miss holding me?” he whispered to the pages now stained with his tears as well. “I know what that’s like. I miss you calling my name too.” As he read her final words, he pulled a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his suit coat. “Whew,” he sighed wearily.
Marvin wiped his face, then put the letter aside. He couldn’t help but wonder whether Chandelle would develop a change of heart when he broke the news about his romp with Dior. After baring her soul, Marvin felt compelled to do the same, and tell Chandelle everything. As far as he could see, there was no way of getting around it.
Nervously, with knots bunched in his stomach, Marvin whipped out his cell phone. His first call went to Dooney at the barber shop, who provided a way to contact Dior. Marvin thanked him, then put in a call to her. She answered on the first ring, openly admitting how glad she was that he reached out to her despite all of the trouble she’d caused.
“I need to meet you right away,” he told her. “Somewhere private.”
“Okay, but isn’t…” she started to ask until Marvin interjected.
“I don’t want to talk about it over the phone. Meet me at the park next to the school on Whitehurst in ten. You know the place?”
“Yeah, I do. See you,” Dior answered. She was anxious with questions and trepidations over seeing Marvin after having been with him under false pretenses. She’d promised to Dooney, under duress, to make good on helping to rebuild Marvin’s marriage with Chandelle. Before she had the chance to talk herself out of it, Dior collected her keys and purse from the dresser in her bedroom. “I’ve got to go do this thing,” she informed Kevlin, sadly. As she stepped into the designer jogging suit, which had been thrown onto the floor an hour ago, Dior returned his curious leer with a curt response. “Chill out, I’ma be all right. It’s a family affair.”
Marvin was already idling by the curb when Dior arrived at the playground. She pulled in behind him and left her car running too. A manufactured smile traced her lips. Marvin nodded “good morning” before the words came out of his mouth.
“Hey, Marvin,” Dior replied, as she approached his relaxed stance against the SUV. “I know what you want to talk about, but meeting you here feels kinda like we’re hiding something.”
“It’s more like plotting to uncover a cover-up,” he answered, obviously looking for telltale signs of shifts in her weight. Dior folded her arms when she picked up on it. It was the first time she felt dirty when a man tried to undress her with his eyes. Perhaps it was the reason why Marvin peered at her that way that bothered her so much.
“I’m not having a baby, if that’s what you’re checking me out for?” she said, reading his mind. “Good thing too. It’s hard out there hustling with a rug rat on your hip.” Dior also noted Marvin’s relieved expression morph into another question needing to be addressed. “Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna tell Chandelle. She’s got enough problems paying for that house and the Volvo at the same time. I offered to kick in a few hundred, but she ain’t on time for that or having nothing to do with me.”
“Y’all haven’t talked since that night?” Marvin asked, expecting to extort information about Chandelle and Tony if the opportunity presented itself.
“I’ve called and sent cards, but you know how she is, all prideful. She always was as stubborn as a mule.”
“Hardheaded too,” Marvin threw in.
“I’m keeping hope alive that she’ll let me make it up for getting her busted out on her front porch. I could really use a break and my best friend back in my space.” Dior pushed authentic tears from her eyes, not like the ones she produced to get out of jams in the past. These were the genuine article. “You got me up here boo-hooing and stuff,” she spat playfully. “I can’t stand for nobody to see me cry, never could.” Dior accepted the handkerchief from Marvin. “Thanks. It’s a little wet, though,” she joked. “Ooh, I’ma have to keep a better tab of my sins.
Done messed this up so bad for everybody. I miss Chandelle like crazy, Marvin.”
“That makes two of us, Dior,” he offered in a comforting tone.
“So, what do you want to do now? Dooney told me to mend my ways, but he didn’t have to tell me to apologize to you. I’m sorry. It was me who got Chandelle and Tony together. Chandelle getting drunk on Cristal, that’s on me too. And I pulled a fast one so he’d have to take her home.”
Marvin couldn’t believe his ears. He replayed Dior’s sentence in his head. It was troubling to say the least, but he’d figured as much. The thought of having Dooney to deal with seemed more imminent now that his head was clear. “Wait a minute! You told Dooney about us, what we did?”
“Didn’t have to, that fool twin brother of mine knows just about everything. You can’t put nothing by him or over on him; trust me, I’ve tried.” Dior laughed, though her merriment died a sudden death as another thought pushed the other aside. “He’s got an old soul. Well, that’s what this bag lady said, who roamed around the project where we grew up. She’d say, ‘Dooney is a fine boy, the good twin,’ and then she’d turn her big nose up at me. ‘And Dior, well, you ain’t nothing but sinful. Dooney, he’s the righteous child and you’s what was left over in yo’ mama’s belly.’ Strange thing was, I believed her,” Dior admitted honestly. “Sometimes I still do.”
Marvin almost reached out to give her the hug he was certain she needed, but the image of Dior straddled over him and gyrating kept running through his mind. He quickly put that inclination to rest. “That’s a cruel thing to say to a little girl,” Marvin uttered, feeling sorry for her but wise enough to keep his distance.
“Who you telling? My mama heard that old witch going off on me, more than once, but she didn’t think to argue.” Dior turned away to clean her eyes with the handkerchief. “That seems like forever ago so it don’t matter anymore. I’m all grown up now.”
Sinful Page 23
