by Hamel, B. B.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what you said.”
She paused and stared at me, and she suddenly looked calmer than she had this whole time. After a beat, she unclipped her mic and dropped it onto the floor.
“I’m done with this. Good luck with the documentary, Lincoln. I hope it really works out for you.”
I laughed. “Thanks for your time, Brie baby.”
She shook her head, stood up, and stormed out of the room. I watched her go, unable to hide the disappointment in my expression. I knew I needed to play it cool in front of the cameras, but that wasn’t at all how I had expected it to go.
My plan was to rile her up, frustrate her a little bit, tease her. Not to piss her off and make her walk away from the whole thing. Not make a real asshole out of myself.
I sighed and gathered my shit mentally, looking over at Jess.
“I guess we’re done.”
“That’s fine,” she said.
I unclipped my mic as the crew began to turn off the equipment and break down the set.
“Listen, Lincoln. You need to apologize and get her back in front of the cameras.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me? After how that just went?”
“It’s a great angle, the family thing. And she works on camera.”
“I don’t think that’s happening.”
Typical Jess. She only gave a shit about the production and nothing else. She would start a war within our family if it meant getting twenty minutes of great footage. I liked and hated that about her, frankly. It made her good at her job, but it made her really difficult to work with, let alone control.
I began to walk away.
“Make it happen, Based. We need her for this,” she called after me.
I turned back and stared at her. “Don’t call me that. And if you want her, get her yourself.”
I didn’t bother to wait for a reply, just walked out of the room as fast as my fucked-up legs would take me, cane tapping on the hardwood floor. It seemed to echo all through the house, reminding me again and again of my crippled body. As if I needed a cane for that.
As I passed through the kitchen, I caught sight of Brie sitting back down in her chair by the pool with a huff. I paused, looking out at her as she stared off into the distance, and I felt something weird grip my chest. I had been running from her for so long, mainlining strange sluts all over the globe, women of all shapes and sizes and color, most smoking hot, but it still overtook me every time I looked at her.
That feeling. I didn’t know what the fuck it was, but I knew that it made me want to grip her hips and pull her against my hard dick. It made me want to bite her lower lip and watch as she slipped down along my skin only to slide my cock into her mouth.
I pulled open the back door, dick half hard as I shuffled across the lawn out toward her. We’d have some privacy while the crew broke down the set, for a while at least.
“Hey,” I called out.
She looked at me with disgust. “What do you want, Lincoln? Trying to embarrass me some more?”
“I wasn’t trying to embarrass you,” I said, lowering myself into the chair next to her. Pain lanced up through my legs, but I ignored it. “Rile you up a little, maybe.”
“Well, good job. I’m riled. I’m actually fucking pissed now.”
“I get it. You’re mad at me.”
“You disappeared. You didn’t bother to call. I thought we—” she cut herself off and looked away. “I thought we were going to be friends.”
“Yeah, friends,” I said.
She looked back at me. “What?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. Look, you did the interview, so I owe you whatever now.”
She blinked and seemed to relax. “I thought you’d go back on that since I walked out on it.”
“I’m a man of my word, even if you only answered a few questions.”
“Okay,” she said, visibly calming down. “Thanks, I guess.”
“But Jess is going to try and get you into the movie somehow. Just so you know.”
“And I still don’t want to do it.”
“I know. I’m not trying to convince you.”
“Okay. What are you doing, then?”
“Looking at you.” I grinned at her. “You look pretty damn cute when you’re pissed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Cut it out, Lincoln.”
“Cameras aren’t around, Brie baby. You don’t have to pretend.”
She gave me another look. “Not pretending. I don’t want to hear it.”
I laughed. “Sure, whatever you say. Let’s play it that way.”
“Are you always like this?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
There was a pause, and Aubrie seemed to look out across the pool. Finally, just as I was about to say something, she looked back over at me.
“Why did you just disappear like that, anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Back then. After the wedding. You basically just left and never came back.”
“You know why.”
She stared at me. “Like you said inside. You were pretty busy.”
I struggled to my feet. “Exactly. That’s right. Anyway, Jess and the crew will be done soon, so I better go. See you around.”
“Okay, sure.”
I gave her one last grin and then turned and headed back up to the house. I could feel her eyes on my back. Whatever, let her stare. If she wants to pretend like nothing happened, that’s fine with me, I thought.
But it wasn’t fine, not by a long shot. What was I thinking, teasing her like that on film? It was going to be obvious to anybody who watched what I wanted from her.
It was the only thing I wanted from her. That sweet mouth wrapped around my dick, my hands sliding up along the soaked spot between her legs. I wanted to make her whole body shake with orgasms.
As I limped back inside, I resolved myself to being more careful. Even if my days had been a miserable succession of one PT session after another before Brie had shown up, I couldn’t give in to that temptation. I couldn’t risk getting caught, as much for her sake as for mine.
I pushed open the door and caught sight of the crew coming toward me. I put on my best camera-ready smile and prepared myself for more bullshit.
Never-ending bullshit had become my life.
Chapter Five: Aubrie
I avoided him like the plague after that.
It was surprisingly easy. Despite how hard he had worked to piss me off those first two days, he lightened up and actually seemed to be avoiding me, too. Conveniently, when I was around the house, he was too busy with his physical therapist and the film crew to bother with me. Which worked pretty well, since I couldn’t stand him.
That interview kept playing through my mind. The way he looked at me, his smile, so cocky and sure of himself, and the way his muscles flexed as he adjusted himself to look at me. His tattoos running up his arms like snakes, and the glimpse of his abs I got every time he shifted in his chair.
He was so magnetic, even when he was being a dick.
Cameras aren’t around, Brie baby, he had said later, after the interview.
But they were always around, and we were both trying to pretend like the most important thing between us had actually never happened, and it was all so messed up. Then again, he didn’t seem particularly ashamed of it. He kept alluding to the kiss, and for a second I thought he was going to admit that he had left for Europe when he did because of me. Instead, I got his usual cocky smile, and he avoided the question all together.
He was right about one thing, though. I hadn’t exactly tried to track him down, either. I had wished again and again that he would call or email or text, just to say hi, even if it was from one stepsibling to another. But he never did, and I was too nervous to try to break the silence. It was as much my fault as it was his.
Despite all that, despite his annoying and frustrating way of looking at me
, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I caught glimpses of him all over the house, but we were orbiting each other like two moons on opposite sides of a planet. Maybe I wanted to get closer, but I wasn’t letting myself.
Three days after the interview disaster and I was out by the pool again, scrolling through my phone like usual, bored out of my mind and wishing someone, anyone, was home, when suddenly Jules came strolling down toward me.
“Aubrie, dear,” she called out.
“Hey, Jules.”
She sat down at the end of my lounger and smiled. “How are you?”
“Fine. A little bored, honestly.”
“You’re bored? Even with all these cameras around?”
I laughed. “Not all of us love to be on camera.”
“Oh, I guess not.”
“What’s up, Jules?”
“I know you said you’d help out with my events, so I wanted to finally give you a job.”
I figured this was coming sooner or later. Jules may have been a little daffy, but she never seemed to forget a promise.
“Happy to help out,” I lied.
“That’s so good of you. Well, we’re putting on a little gala, just a little gathering type event, but the space I rented just backed out. I need you to find somewhere that can accommodate, oh, say, three hundred people.”
I blinked. “Three hundred?”
“Yes, well, maybe closer to four hundred. To be on the safe side.”
I sighed. “Okay. I can help with that.” That’s not how I define small, though, I thought ruefully to myself.
“Great!” she said, excited. “I’ll send you an email with all the information you need.”
“Sounds good.”
She smiled hugely at me. “So how are you and Lincoln getting along?”
I shrugged, looking away. “Fine, I guess. Haven’t seen much of him.”
“Try and be friends. I know he thinks the world of you.”
I blinked and looked back at her. “Does he? That’s news to me.”
“Oh absolutely! He was always asking about you, back before the accident.”
“He was?”
“Sure he did. Even thought about visiting after he got out of jail. I guess he never did.”
“No, he never did.”
“Well,” she said, patting my leg. “Thanks again, dear. I’m off to make some calls.”
She stood up.
“Okay, sure. No problem.”
“See you later!” She walked back toward the house.
I barely heard her leave. Lincoln was constantly asking about me? Why hadn’t she mentioned it before? Probably because I barely spoke with Jules when I was away at school, I realized. I frowned, and I promised myself I’d make more of an effort while I was home to spend more time with her.
More pressingly, though, was the news that Lincoln thought the world of me. What was with that guy? One second he was pushing my buttons on camera, and the next he was talking about what had happened between us, the one thing we should never talk about. I had no clue what to think. And then he was asking after me like he gave a shit at all what I did? Every new thing I learned about him made him even more frustrating, and strangely that made me want to be around him. I wanted to figure him out, learn what was going on behind the tattoos and the limp and the bravado.
I can’t think like that, I reminded myself for the thousandth time. He was my stepbrother. I didn’t need to know a thing about him.
Still, there was the matter of the favor Lincoln owed me. I hadn’t thought too much about it since then, but eventually that would probably come in handy. Maybe I could have him do something embarrassing, like wear a dress to PT, but that was childish. Or maybe I could get him to do some of my work finding a venue for Jules. But it wasn’t like I had anything better to do. My phone remained silent, and all my friends remained elsewhere for the summer.
I shook my head, completely unsure of what the right move was. There were so many different things that I wanted from him; for example, I wanted to use my favor to have him pose shirtless in my bedroom for a week. But I also wanted to use my favor to have him never tease me again.
And he hadn’t defined what that favor was supposed to be. Was I supposed to get him to buy me something, or was it something dirtier than that?
And why was I thinking about him without his shirt on all the time?
What a mess. I got up and stretched and headed back up to the house, hoping Lincoln was still busy in physical therapy. I pushed open the doors that led into the kitchen and stopped short when I saw who was standing in front of the refrigerator. Despite being home, I almost didn’t expect to see him again.
“Dad?” I said.
He turned around, surprised. It took him a second to respond, but when he did, his face broke out into a smile and he laughed.
“Aubrie? What are you doing here?”
He walked over and wrapped me in a big hug. I hugged him back, feeling a little tentative and awkward. He was always an expressive man and was never shy with affection, but I hadn’t seen him in a while. Truth was, Dad was barely around throughout my childhood, and I had mostly raised myself after my mom passed away when I was twelve.
“Jules guilted me into being home,” I said.
He stepped back and grinned. “Sounds like her.”
He looked older. I hadn’t seen him in a little over a year, though we checked in over the phone as often as his schedule permitted. He had lost a few pounds, and his hair was longer and graying, but there was something else about him. Maybe there were more smile lines around his mouth and eyes, or maybe it was the healthy tan he already had. Either way, he looked tired.
“Where have you been?”
He sighed and walked back over to the refrigerator, grabbing a soda before shutting the door.
“L.A. for work, mostly. Scouting locations after that. Have you ever been to Death Valley?”
I laughed. “No, Dad. I’ve mostly just been here and Indiana.”
“Well, you should go there when you can. It might not look like much, but there’s so much beauty underneath all that sand and dust. An amazing place.”
I laughed again. “Sure. Sounds great.”
“So what did Jules use to get you here? It’s been, what, three years?”
“Yeah, three years. She wants me to help her organize a few events. She also said you really wanted to see me.”
“I see,” he said, nodding. “Classic parental guilt trip. Well, sorry to say I had nothing to do with it. But I am really happy you’re here.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“So what else is new with you? Semester end okay?”
“Yeah, it did. I told you about the new lab work I was doing. I think my finals were good, but you never know with advanced chem.”
“Advanced chem. The bane of my existence.”
I laughed. “Yeah, mine too.” I paused and glanced toward the back room where I thought I heard a grunt. Probably Lincoln impressing the cute PT girl. “Did you know that Lincoln’s home?”
“I sure did.”
“What’s with that?”
He paused for a second. “Well, you heard about his accident. He needed a place to recover, you know, away from the bullshit. So I said he could come stay here.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Away from all the bullshit? So naturally you started filming everything.”
He grinned sheepishly. “What can I say, sweetie. When I see an opportunity, I seize it.”
I leaned up against the island and sighed. “How long is he here for?”
“However long it takes to heal, I guess. Why, is the crew bothering you?”
“No, it’s not that. I mean, yeah, a little bit.”
“What are they doing? I can talk to Jess, if you want.”
“No, no, really, don’t do that. I’m just not used to having cameras all over place.”
“I get it. Why not get involved with the shoot?”
“I don’t know. Doesn�
�t seem like my kind of thing.”
“You’re my daughter, of course it’s your kind of thing.”
“But Lincoln’s whole ‘Based’ thing isn’t really my style.”
“Maybe not. But you guys are siblings now. Might be good for you to spend some time with him.”
“Conveniently for you, that means I’ll have to be in the documentary.”
He laughed. “Really, if you don’t want to be in it, I’ll make sure Jess cuts you out of everything. I just think it’ll be good for both of you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, unsure.
He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Listen, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But Lincoln is going to be around for good from now on. It might be a good idea to get used to him.”
I cocked my head. “Wait, what? He’s going to be around for good?”
“Sure. He’s not going back to Europe.”
That was news to me. Lincoln hadn’t mentioned anything about not going back. I had assumed that his time at home was only a temporary thing until he was back on his feet.
“Why not?”
Dad moved his hand and screwed up his face. “You don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
He sighed. “I’m not sure he wants people knowing this, but you’re family. The doctors told him that he can never jump again. They said the impact would likely destroy his legs again.”
I gaped at him. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I was there when he got the news.”
“But isn’t jumping his whole life?”
“Yeah, sweetie. It was.”
“What about all that physical therapy?”
“That’s mostly to make sure he can walk without too much pain for the rest of his life. He took a really, really bad fall, Brie.”
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Lincoln’s entire world must have been shattered to pieces; not just his legs, but his future and his career were completely gone. Not to mention the only thing he seemed to really give a shit about was snatched away. And yet he was still working his ass off to get better. No wonder he seemed a little angry.
“Okay, I’m going to go unpack. Keep what I just said between us, yeah? Don’t want to upset the poor guy.”
“Yeah, okay. Sure, Dad.”
