“Well,” Zoe started with an eerie calm that drew their eyes to her. “That's not necessarily true, Ed. You might be blood, but you made it damn plain and clear how you felt about me in that letter. Why did you come back? Why now, right before Christmas, too? Did you plan on telling me some sob story of your own and getting back into my good graces? Did you come for money? I mean hey, I must have learned all my sob stories from the best, right?”
Calvin squeezed her side and Ed sneered. “So full of spit and vinegar, just like your momma. Boy, how do you put up with that mouth?”
“The name is Calvin, sir. I'm not a boy; I'm a grown man. Like I said, I'd appreciate you not disrespecting my wife.” His hands clenched involuntarily, plucking at the material of his coat wrapped around Zoe's frame in anger.
“I came back, Zoe, honey, to make stuff right betwixt us. I was wrong and I'm sorry.” He held his hands out. “Come give your daddy a hug.”
Zoe closed her eyes and took a breath. “Ed, I appreciate your apology, but you can't fix this. The only glue that held us together was momma and you know that. I just want you to leave. You said yourself you don't want to be in this podunk town.”
“Yeah, you're right. Your momma was the only thing that held me here. When she was gone, all I wanted to do was run, but I had to wait ‘til the right time, had to make sure that I had the money in place,” Ed shrugged, leaning back against the wall.
“What money? You stopped paying the mortgage and put the bank account so in the hole that he had to bail me out,” Zoe snapped.
“Ah, Prince Charming, ain't you, boy?” Ed sneered. “You poked your nose where it didn't belong.”
“Leave him out of this, Ed, it's between me and you. Why are you here?”
“Thought I'd come check on my baby girl; ain't nothing wrong with that, Zoe,” he shrugged.
“Bullshit,” she argued. “Tell the truth, Ed, and tell it to my face for once. Don't hide behind some paper and a pen. Tell me what's really going on.”
He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his thin, grey hair. “Truth?”
“Nothing less, Ed.”
“Truth is? I've got cancer.”
Zoe's brow furrowed. “Cancer.”
“Yep.”
“So...you can get some chemo and be fine, right?” She folded her arms across her belly and glanced up at Calvin, seeking reassurance.
“No, Zoe. I have pancreatic cancer and it's too late. I have a couple of weeks, if that.”
Her hand came to her mouth in horror and she shook her head. “Cancer?”
“Zoe, you're getting damn pale. Sit her down, boy.”
Calvin swept her into his arms and shifted her into a chair. “Tim, get her a drink.”
Tim ran through the tables to behind the counter and the fizz-gurgle sound of the drink machine went through the air. He ran back with a half filled glass of soda. “Drink.”
Zoe sipped the soda and stared up at her father. “I don't know if I believe you.”
“Need to see my records, Zoe? I know I'm an asshole and I didn't do right by you, not one bit. But I don't have much time left. Hell, in all honesty, I'll be lucky to see New Years. I just want to know that when I go, my girl don't hate me.” He held his hands out. “I'm sorry, Zoe. Really and truly. I ain't got nothing left. Blew every cent I had in Vegas, hell I owe some sharks out there even, but what are they gonna get from me when I'm dead?” A harsh laugh bubbled out of his mouth.
“First Momma, and now you. Wow. Both of y'all dying from cancer. Who would've thought?” She took another drink of the soda. “I don't know what to say.”
“Can I just spend some time with you, Zoe? Just even a couple of hours. There is so much I never got to say...” His voice trailed off. “You look so much like your momma.”
“Thanks I guess,” Zoe quipped.
“You happy with him?” Ed pointed at Calvin.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Do you know what you're having?”
“A girl.”
“Picked out a name? Something good and strong? Not Shanaynay, please. No offense to you and your people, boy,” Ed smiled, the tired expression not meeting his eyes.
“None taken,” Calvin assured him.
“We're thinking of Dahlia.”
“Ain't that a flower?” Ed asked, stepping forward and settling into a chair across from her.
“Yeah. But it's for our mommas,” Zoe replied.
Tim leaned against the wall. “Y'all gonna be okay if I leave? I need to make some rounds right quick.”
Calvin glanced down at Zoe. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I've got you here.” She squeezed his hand.
They all watched as Tim left and Ed turned back to them with a smile. “I'm sorry for springing up on y'all like this. I just got my diagnosis about a week ago and I spent a couple days drunk because I didn't want to believe that I wasn't immortal, y'all know what I'm saying? I guess it's just hard to realize that the big man upstairs can take you out and leave you to swim with the fishes when he's ready,” he laughed, the sound harsh.
Zoe nodded. “Do you still have the plot beside Momma?”
Ed nodded. “Ever the rational one, just like your momma. Yeah, I got the plot. I ain't got any insurance or nothing like that.”
“So the bill falls to us?” Zoe retorted.
“Yeah. There was burial insurance once, but I stopped paying it,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair again. “I'm sorry. I've been nothing but a burden to you since she died. I lost my wife when she died, Zoe.”
“Yes, you did. But you forget, Ed, I lost my momma. And I lost you. I had no one.”
He stared at her for a moment. “I never really realized that... but you did, didn't you?”
Tears filled her eyes and her head fell. Sobs shook her frame and Calvin knelt, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ve got you, baby,” he whispered into her hair.
“I didn't mean to upset you, honey. I didn't know you were in the family way. If I did, I wouldn't have come.”
Zoe looked up and shook her head. “No, I'm glad you did. No one deserves to die alone.”
Ed smiled tremulously, tears filling his own eyes. “You're a good girl.”
“It doesn't mean that I can forget what you did to me. But I forgive you, Ed. Not just for your conscience, but for me. I can't keep living in my mistakes and my past. I have to face my mess and learn to clean it up.”
“I understand. Well, I'll let you two kids go so you can enjoy your Christmas.” He stood and slid his hands into his pockets before walking toward the door.
“Dad?” Zoe called and he turned, his hand on the glass of the door.
“Yeah, Zoe?”
“Merry Christmas.”
He nodded and smiled ruefully. “Merry Christmas, Zoe. It's the season of miracles, ain't it? Maybe the old man upstairs has one left in his pocket for old Ed.”
“Where are you staying?” Calvin asked.
“Probably the porch swing of the old house. If I'm busted, the jail, I expect,” Ed shrugged. “I didn't really think all of that through when I came into town.”
Calvin walked to him and held out his hand. “I'd like to offer you my grandparents’ couch. It's not much, but it's somewhere warm, at least for tonight. We're staying there while I'm home on leave.”
“On leave? You a soldier?”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
Ed shrugged. “You sure about me coming to stay with y'all?” He glanced at Zoe.
“You can't stay out in the cold and if Calvin is okay with it, I am.”
“I am fine with it. No one deserves to be alone on Christmas,” he smiled tightly.
“Ah you'd like to kick my ass, but you won't, because you love her too much. I like you, boy. You're all right. Well, if y'all are sure, my bones would appreciate a couch to sleep on tonight,” Ed chuckled, his face becoming somber. “I'm scared to die.”
“I think we all are, a little bit, Dad. Should you be a
t the hospital?”
Ed shook his head. “No, I don't want to spend my last days hooked up to tubes.”
“Let's get out of here, okay, Zoe?” Calvin glanced back at her and smiled reassuringly.
Zoe followed them out into the cold and glanced up at the sky that glistened with a million stars. A lone tear coursed down her cheek and she brushed it away with a shaky hand as she climbed in the car. The ride back to the house was silent, leaving them all to their thoughts.
Later that night after the rest of the house slumbered, sugarplums dancing in their heads, Zoe shifted in the bed and turned to face Calvin. “Do you think we did right?”
“He's your daddy and you'll always love him.” He put his arm around her and pulled her in tight.
“I can't imagine him dying somewhere by himself. I remember Momma dying... and no. No one deserves that.” She shivered and Calvin pulled her in a little closer.
“I'm proud of you for not running.”
“Oh, but I want to. I want to run until I can't run anymore. Until there's nothing left, Calvin. I don't want to face him dying. Even though I'm angry with him, I don't want him to die. He's my father. My daddy is lying out on that couch with cancer eating him alive and he's going to die,” she sobbed into his chest, dampening his skin with her tears.
He rubbed her back slowly. “I know, Zoe, I know. But you were willing to forgive him, maybe not forget what he did, but you gave him peace. And you gave yourself some too.”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I want to sleep. Will you hold me?”
“Forever.”
Chapter Thirteen
Christmas morning broke clear and cold, a shaft of dawn peeking through the blinds and waking her from the restless sleep she'd had all night. She slid from under Calvin's arm and between the covers to tiptoe to the window and check outside for the white Christmas she'd always hoped for. Instead of snow, a glistening slick of ice coated the trees and road, maybe an eighth of an inch, if that, just enough to make things slippery and a mess until the sun hit it later in the day.
I'm glad we got in before that started and I'm glad he's not out in it. She moved quietly out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to get herself ready for the day. Another trip back and she found Calvin still asleep. Not wanting to wake him, she got dressed in silence and eased the door closed as she walked back into the hallway.
She tiptoed through the living room, pausing to glance at her father. He lay on his side and he'd pulled the old quilt up over his shoulders. A wispy lock of his hair had fallen over his forehead and Zoe fought the urge to brush it back. Instead, she sat in the recliner and stared at his prone form for a few moments. Her eyes lit on a folded up mess of papers and a pen on the coffee table. Curiosity prickled at her, but instead of letting it get the best of her, she ignored and stood from the chair. Tiptoeing into the kitchen, she pulled the refrigerator door open and poured herself a glass of orange juice. She sat at the kitchen table and sipped at the juice, staring through the doorway at the man she had loved since as long as she could remember.
Her head tipped to the side and she focused harder, her eyes straining as she searched his form. She stood from the kitchen table and in her haste, the glass slipped from the edge, shattering on the floor in a deluge of shards and liquid. “Calvin!” she screamed as she moved through the living room to the couch where her father lay.
Her fingers trembled as she touched his shoulder. No response. “Daddy?” she whispered, pressing her palm into his fleshy shoulder and shaking firmly. “Daddy?” Her voice rose an octave and she shook him again. His head lolled stiffly against the pillow and bile rose in her throat as she screamed. Frantic fingers pressed into his neck and found no pulse. Calvin skidded into the living room, wearing only boxers and a panicked expression.
“What's wrong, Zoe?” A pause as he realized what had happened. “Oh God, move baby.” He shifted Ed on the couch and felt for a pulse again. “Call 911, Zoe.”
“There's ice,” she mumbled, Calvin not hearing her breathy tone.
“Call 911, Zoe. Look at me. Call 911. Now!” Calvin began performing CPR, pumping his chest over and over.
Zoe backed up against the wall, tears pouring down her cheeks and her head shaking back and forth in panic. “I can't.”
Grams came into the living room, rubbing her eyes and adjusting her robe. “What in the...Oh Lord.” She shuffled around Zoe and picked up the phone hanging on the wall. “Yeah, we have an emergency. Eighteen-eighteen Royal Avenue. Yes ma'am, we need an ambulance.”
Zoe slid down the wall and stared at her husband who kept pumping her father's chest, over and over, never taking a break as he worked. The paramedics took over an hour to get to the house due to the icy roads, and for Zoe it could have been minutes or days. She really lost all concept of time. Calvin relentlessly kept performing CPR, pushing away the paramedic who told him calmly that it was too late; he was already gone.
Edward Hart Parker the second had gone to meet his maker.
Zoe sobbed silently as they placed him on the gurney and covered his face with a white sheet, the color matching his skin.
“Lord have mercy on his soul,” Grams whispered, reaching down to gently squeeze Zoe's shoulder. “Lord have mercy.”
Calvin scrubbed his hand over his head and came to kneel down beside Zoe. “Look at me, baby.” Zoe wordlessly glanced up at him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Calm down. You have to calm down, for the baby.”
As the paramedics left, Pops came back inside. “They said there was a wreck late last night from the ice and that the boy that was in the wreck might not make it. That's two. What's the third gonna be?”
Zoe shifted her glance over to Pops. “Three?” she whispered brokenly. “Three what?”
“Deaths, honey.” He sat down in his recliner. “It comes in threes. I'm sure sorry you lost your daddy, but glad y'all got to talk one last time before he left.”
Zoe nodded. “Yeah.”
Grams shook her head. “Lord have mercy. Calvin, take her back to bed. She needs to rest before she goes and loses the baby from all this stress. We'll handle all this.”
Calvin put his arms under hers and pulled her up. “Come on, baby.”
“I can't stay here, Calvin. I just – I can't.”
Grams touched her arm. “We'll get the couch out of here. Calvin, I will need your help for that. She ain't gonna want that in here.”
Zoe nodded. “He – he died there.”
Calvin picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, gently placing her on the mattress and tucking her into the covers. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I'll be right back. I'm going to get the couch out of here and see how bad the ice is. Are you okay in here?”
“I'm alive,” she croaked. It's more than I can say for... NO.
He jerked clothes on and hurried out of the room. Zoe flipped the covers back and sat up on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around herself. Layla peeked her head in.
“Zoe?” She couldn't find the words to answer, so she lifted her head to stare at Layla. “Oh, honey.” Layla came to sit down beside Zoe and wrapped her long arm around her waist. Zoe turned slightly and accepted the comfort, breaking down even harder, the sobs shaking the bed. Layla pulled her in closer and tears fell from her eyes. “I remember when my parents died,” she whispered. “I know how you feel, and I'm sorry.”
Zoe nodded. “I'm sorry, too.” She wiped her eyes and sighed. “Who got in the wreck?”
Layla swallowed and looked away. “You don't know?”
“I wouldn't be asking if I did, would I?”
Layla glanced back, and then toward the door. “I don't want to get into it.”
Zoe's brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Layla stood abruptly and hurried for the door. “You need rest. You've had a really hard morning.”
She lay back against the pillow and shifted to her side. The baby rolled and kicked and her palm rested flat against her bell
y as her eyes squeezed closed. Why? Why didn't we have more time? What we had wasn't enough. I mean, I was mad but I didn't want him to die. I know it's wrong, but I almost wish I didn't know he was dead. I almost wish I could be wrapped up in my anger and for him not to have worked himself into my heart again. Why can't I just be mad at him and not feel this way? Why?
She jumped as a hand brushed her shoulder, her eyes flying wide. Calvin stood there with the folded up papers from the coffee table in his hand. “Hey,” he whispered softly. “Are you okay?”
“No. I'm not. Once again, I've ruined everything,” she shivered and closed her eyes.
“What are you talking about, Zoe? You didn't ruin anything.” Calvin stroked her back and smiled.
“My dad died in here this morning. Are we forgetting that? Ignoring it?” she hissed and clamped a hand to her stomach. “OW!”
“Zoe? What's wrong?” Calvin tossed the papers on the bed and placed his hand on top of hers, worry wrinkling his brow.
“My stomach hurts. So badly.” Her breath hitched and she grimaced. “You need to take me to the hospital, Calvin. Something is wrong.”
Calvin paled. “You're kidding.”
“No, no I'm not. Think we can drive the roads?” She bit her bottom lip and stood, running a hand through her hair. “Oh God, Pops said deaths come in threes. What if our baby...” Her voice trailed off and she burst into tears, great gasping sobs shaking her shoulders. “Calvin, I can't lose her!”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Let's hope Layla has kept gas in the old Jeep. We're not going to lose her, I promise. Come on.”
They walked into the living room and Zoe was relieved to see the couch gone. Grams glanced up at them and shook her head. “She's pale as a ghost.”
“She says she needs to get to the hospital.”
“Oh Lord have mercy. And on these roads. Calvin do you think you can drive it?” Grams stood from the chair and clasped her hands together in panic.
Pops switched the TV off and turned in the recliner. “If you keep it low and slow, you'll be fine, boy. Just don't brake if you skid. Take it easy and get her there. Let us know when you make it.”
November Foxtrot (Rhythm of the Heart Book 2) Page 12
