I shrugged. “It’s true.”
I slipped the next dress over my head and turned to face Em.
Her eyes went wide and she began to nod. “You have to buy that.”
“What?”
“Just look at yourself. Shit, Katie, I’m jealous.”
I turned around and looked at my reflection. It was only a strapless sheath dress, but it hugged my body perfectly, accentuated my soft curves, and worked with my imperfections. “Is it too short?” I asked, tugging on the hem that hit mid thigh. It wouldn’t have been short on other women, but with my height, I couldn’t help but feel a bit slutty.
“It’s perfect.”
“And it’s not too low cut?”
“Get. It,” she said to my reflection.
“I don’t even have anywhere to wear something like this.”
“Well, you will one day, and you’ll be fucking pissed at yourself if you don’t buy it. You’ll never be able to find a dress that fits you like that again, and you know it.”
I smiled back at her and shrugged. “What the hell!” It totally wasn’t like me, but it felt good to buy something for the hell of it. To forget about responsibility and just live.
We continued trying on dresses through the afternoon, and Em eventually decided on a floor-length coral gown that made her look even more like a Hollywood starlet than she already did.
By the time we made it to the parking lot, the sun had already begun to set, and Em turned to me before she unlocked the car. “Wanna go get tattoos?”
I laughed. “No way. I hate needles.”
“How about haircuts then?”
It had been over a year since I’d had a good trim, and besides, I was having fun and didn’t feel like going home. “Sure.”
An hour later we walked into a salon in downtown Hollywood with a bag of In-N-Out. It reminded me of a 1950s garage with polished cement floors, retro stools, and pin-up girls on every wall. Everyone seemed to know Em, and after a round of introductions, we were led to a couple of stations in the back to wait for our stylists.
“So what’s your story, Katie?” Em asked, hopping into one of the chairs and handing me a burger. “Why are you swearing off men?”
“’Cause they’re all jerks.” I took a seat beside her, and grabbed a tray of fries.
“Ahh... this is gonna be good.” She leaned forward, and even though it wasn’t my favorite subject in the world, I opened up to her.
“I found out last week my boyfriend was cheating on me.”
She frowned. “I’m sorry.”
I cleared my throat. “That’s really what brought me back here. I found myself in a position of having to start over. Jake’s always been like family to me, so I ended up at his place.” I took a deep breath and popped a fry in my mouth. “What about you?”
“Let’s see,” she said, her hand covering her full mouth as she swallowed. “I grew up in foster care, sucked at school, but understood computers. I taught myself HTML and CSS, somehow talked my way into getting my first client, and the rest is history. I’ve had my own business for six years, and don’t answer to anyone.” She flashed a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I was just cheated on too. Though I was expecting it. He was the lead singer in a rock band, and sexy as hell.”
“Tattoos?” My heart constricted.
“Full sleeves.” She laughed.
By the time the stylist was done with us, my belly was full, and my hair resembled something off the cover of a Vogue magazine. The highlights were subtle, like I’d spent every day out in the sun. The long layers were blown out in full waves and smelled of candy. I couldn’t stop running my fingers through the silkiness all the way home.
“Thanks for coming with me,” Em said, as I grabbed my bags from the tiny back seat.
“Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time. Oh, “ I said almost as an afterthought. “And thanks for dinner.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiled. “Listen, I have this thing tomorrow,” she gestured to her dress in the back seat, “but how about we work on your website Thursday?”
“I’d love that.” I climbed out of the car, then ducked down to wave goodbye. “I’ll see you Thursday. Have fun tomorrow.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll try.”
As she pulled away from the curb, a flick of light across the street caught my attention. A man leaning against a car smoking a cigarette. He wore a hoodie so I couldn’t quite make out his face, but he made me nervous. I was sure he was one of Jake’s neighbors, but why was he out so late? I shook my head at my own silliness—now I was being paranoid. I cleared my throat and waved, barely able to make out his nod before I turned toward the house. The lights were still on in the living room, and I wondered if Jake was still up. I rushed into the house, quickly deposited my bags to my room, and went to find him.
He stood on the patio, his back to me as he looked out to the pool. Something about his stance made me wary and I cautiously moved closer. “Hey.”
He glanced over his shoulder, then turned to the pool again and took a pull from his beer.
“I was out shopping with Em,” I said, wondering why he was acting so weird.
“I saw.” His tone held an edge to it that I didn’t understand. I narrowed my eyes.
“Were you waiting up for me?”
He laughed. “Shit, Katie, I get home from work, no note, no phone call. Your car’s still out front, what was I supposed to think?” He whirled around, and irritation was plastered all over his face.
“What do you mean? I’m twenty-six years old, Jake. I’m not a kid.”
“Well, stop acting like one then!” He brushed past me on the way to the house, but I couldn’t let this go.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You should’ve called, Katie.” He tossed his bottle in the kitchen sink and continued through the house.
“I forgot my phone,” I said defensively.
“I figured that out hours ago.” He waved a hand at the coffee table—my phone still abandoned there after my run—and he continued on to his room.
I was so angry, frustrated, and sick of being treated like a little girl that I didn’t care about boundaries and followed right behind him. I stopped at the edge of his bed and watched as he emptied the contents of his pockets to the bedside table. “I’m not sixteen anymore, Jake.” My chest heaved as I spoke. “I don’t need my big bad brothers watching every move I make anymore. I hated it then, and I sure as hell don’t like it now.
“Regardless of what you think, I am not your child. I am not your little sister, and you don’t need to take care of me. I’m a grown woman, and I won’t be treated this way!” My heart was pounding so hard it was almost visible through my chest.
He turned around, his eyes blazing a molten blue. My first instinct was to back away, but I squared my shoulders and held my ground.
He stalked toward me with smooth strides that reminded me of a lion. “You’re right, Katie. You’re not my child,” he stopped just inches from my face, “and you’re certainly not my sister.”
Heat radiated off his body and my breath caught.
“But you’re staying in my house, and I deserved a phone call.”
My God, he was sexy. “So you’re making rules for me now?” How could I be so pissed off and turned on at the same time?
“Apparently I have to,” he said, holding my gaze.
I stared straight into his eyes, not sure if I wanted to kick him in the balls or throw him on the bed and make love to him. I knew I was treading in dangerous waters—and the truth was, I didn’t trust myself enough to keep my head up and not drown. “Forget this. I’m going to bed.” I whirled on my heels and stormed down the hall.
“Katie, get back here,” he called. “We’re not done with this conversation.”
“Yes. We are!” I yelled back, and slammed my bedroom door. I threw my dress over my head, stormed into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stepped into the stream before it eve
n had a chance to warm up.
I didn’t realize before it was too late, but I completely ruined my perfect new hair.
HIS VOICE WAS LOW AND sleepy. “Katie.” My name like a caress from his lips. I rolled to face him, my heart thudding in my chest as I looked into his stormy blue eyes. He raised his hand to the side of my face, the pad of his thumb running along my cheekbone. I tilted into his soft touch, wanting to say so many things but not knowing where to start. His eyes bored into mine, asking me questions, questions I was afraid to answer.
“Katie…” his tone more urgent now, and my heart sped up. What do you want from me, Jake? I was afraid—afraid that if I let him in, I’d lose him forever.
“Katie...wake up.”
My eyes flew open, and I pulled in a ragged breath. Jake sat on the edge of my bed, and I blinked a couple of times trying to get my bearings. I was sleeping.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was low, almost a whisper.
“Is everything okay?” I looked to the pitch-black window and sat up. A deep-set panic gripped my stomach as my mind raced with all that could be wrong.
“Everything’s fine, Kit Kat. I just came to wake you—”
I fell back to my pillow with relief. “Oh my God, don’t do that.” I closed my eyes and let out a breath.
He touched my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I forgot—”
But he didn’t finish; he didn’t have to. He’d forgotten about my dreams. I wish I could say the same. I threw the sheet over my head and turned away. “The sun’s not even up yet.” I flipped over, dismissing him, but really—I didn’t want him to see my face.
He let out a breath. “Come on. We need to get an early start.”
I flipped over again, somewhat intrigued. “For what?”
The room was dark except for the light from the hall, but I could just make out the hint of his smile. “The beach.”
A thrill shot up my spine—our home away from home—but then I remembered our argument last night, and frowned. “You can’t take me to the beach and make me forget, Jake. I’m still mad at you.”
He let out a breath, raked a hand through his hair, then pinched the bridge of his nose.
I was right. That was his intention. “I’m not your kid. You don’t get to tell me when I come or when I go.”
“I wasn’t asking for that.” He looked to the dark window. Our bodies only inches from touching, but I felt the wall of Alcatraz rising between us. “I was worried about you.”
“I just went to the mall,” I argued.
“I know.” He shook his head. “I just go crazy when it comes to you. Like if—” He laughed, then scrubbed his hands over his face. “Can we just forget about last night?”
His words made my heart stop. If …what? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer. Something about the way he looked told me I wasn’t ready. I swallowed the ball of fear in my throat and nodded.
He smiled, seeming relieved, and threw the covers from my body. “Now put your suit on.” He ruffled my already messy hair. “I have coffee brewing in the kitchen.”
I laughed. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Just after five.”
“Are you kidding me? Why are we going so early?”
“Because that’s when we’ll catch the best waves.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and turned on the lamp at my bedside table. “We’re going surfing?”
“Yep.” He grinned.
“But I don’t know how.” I rubbed a hand over my face, suddenly more awake.
“Well, it’s about time you learned.”
By the time I was ready, Jake was already outside loading his truck. He was dressed in board shorts, a pale blue T-shirt, and flip-flops. What used to be his uniform back in the day.
I zipped my hoodie to block out the chill and shoved my hands deep in the pockets of cut offs. “Aren’t you cold?”
He glanced up, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he adjusted one of the straps around the board. “Nah.” He brushed some hair from his forehead and looked so happy, I couldn’t help but smile back.
I cleared my throat. “Do you need any help?”
“I think I got it.” He secured the boards with black cord, then nodded toward the cab. “There’s donuts in the truck.”
“Geez, what time did you get up?”
He smiled again, but didn’t answer.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”
“Yeah, go get warm. We’ll be ready to go in five minutes.”
I climbed into the toasty cab, eyeing the pink box I knew would be filled with fresh donuts, and two insulated mugs that sat in the center console. I picked one up, blowing the too-hot coffee, and let my hands soak in some of its warmth. I kicked off my flip-flops, sat back to my heels, and selected a maple bar from the box. The donut was still warm, and the sweet icing cracked with my first bite. The buttery flavors melted in my mouth and tasted better than anything I’d had in years.
I was already on my second donut when Jake opened the door and let in a rush of cold air. “Ready?” His excitement so pure it was invigorating.
I brushed my hand over my smiling mouth to wipe away the crumbs. “When did you plan this?”
He scratched the back of his head and climbed in beside me. “After you went to bed.”
After our fight.
He fastened his seat belt and nodded for me to do the same. “Justin’s going to meet us later.”
I put my feet on the floor and reached for my belt. “What? Really?”
“Yep.”
“How’s he doing?”
Jake backed out of the driveway and pulled onto the street. “He’s getting married.”
“What? Are you kidding me? Justin? The Justin who dated three girls at a time, Justin?”
He laughed. “That’s what I said.” He grabbed a donut as we pulled onto the main road. “He actually asked me to be one of his groomsmen.”
I stared at his profile, his expression unreadable, and I wondered what he was thinking. “That’s awesome, Jake. Will his fiancée be meeting us too?”
“I don’t know, maybe? She may have to work.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Speaking of work, how’d you get the day off?”
He shrugged. “The guys can get along without me for a day.”
“Must be nice.”
“Being the boss sometimes has its perks.”
We spent the rest of the drive in silence, but it was perfect. Not the uncomfortable silence of strangers, but that cozy, cuddled under the same blanket kind of silence that only came when you knew someone as long as I’d known Jake.
When we arrived at the beach, the sun was just starting to peek out from the horizon, and the sky alive with vibrant hues of coral and violet. I hopped from the cab and filled my lungs with the familiar salty air I had dreams about. The air so different from any other beach I’d ever been to.
We each loaded our arms with bags and coolers, then made our way down the path I’d had memorized since childhood. The path that led to adventure, discovery, and lots and lots of laughter.
The second I reached the sand, I slipped my sandals to my fingers, and let the icy grains run between my toes. Goosebumps covered my bare legs, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be as close to them as possible.
“I haven’t been here since we spread Dave’s ashes.” I focused my attention to the sea, watching the sunrise.
“Yeah,” Jake replied beside me, his voice low and hollow. It had been a day very similar to this when we said our final goodbyes to Dave. Just six days after his tragic accident, we brought him to his favorite place on earth, his final resting place—this beach. The same beach where we took my father only nine years earlier.
I looked over at Jake. He had one arm loaded like mine, a surfboard held high on the other. He’d been there both times. Holding my hand, reminding me I wasn’t alone.
Just a few yards from the water, Jake set the board in the
sand and turned to me. A warm glow filtered through his wild hair, and I smiled back at the man I wanted to strangle only hours earlier, but loved with all my heart. My eyes filled with tears— though this time not from sadness, but from a sense of well being I hadn’t felt in years.
“Are we really going out there?” I asked, dropping my bags to the sand and wrapping my arms around my body. The waves crashed to the shore, and I could swear they were welcoming me home. “It’s freezing.”
He laughed. “I have an extra wetsuit, you’ll be fine.”
He came to stand behind me and rubbed his hands up and down my arms.
“We spent lots of days at this beach, you and I.”
I only nodded, my whole body wound so tight I couldn’t even breathe.
“The best days of my life.”
My throat constricted. They were the best of mine too—we didn’t even do anything. Just lounged around, played in the surf, ate whatever food we could scrounge together out of the cupboards, and often sat in silence similar to the one that fell over us now. Though now we were alone, and now my heart slammed a wild beat inside me.
When he turned away, I relaxed a little, and he excused himself to go get the last board from the truck. I found a large woven blanket in one of the bags and spread it over the cool sand, securing each corner with shoes and coolers.
I wished I wasn’t so affected by Jake. That I could enjoy his friendship without my senses turned on hyperdrive. But it had always been that way. For him, and only him. Why was that? I plopped down in the center of the blanket, pulled my knees close to my chest, and hooked my hoodie over my legs, trying to find warmth.
Jake finally made it back to the beach, set the last board in the sand. “Are you ready for this?”
I raked my teeth over my lip, but he was so excited I couldn’t help my smile.
He nodded to the yellow board over in the sand, and I hopped to my feet, following after him to where the ground became firmer.
“Okay, I’m going to show you what to do, then we’ll practice a few times before getting in the water. You’re going to have to take that off,” he said, nodding to my sweatshirt.
I raised my brows. “No way, it’s freezing.”
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