“I’ve been looking for you...” His voice came low and raw and took my breath. “Everywhere...”
Sadness rushed to the pit of my stomach and I knew this was it. There would be no more running away, no more excuses or interruptions. I had to leave—even if it meant abandoning my own heart.
He stood, and my hands flew to my mouth. I wanted the ground to open up and consume me. To shield me from the overwhelming emotions that stirred inside. My throat thickened with the words I came to say, and in one breathless crack, I let them out. “I’m leaving, Jake.”
“Katie—”
He took a step closer, but I held up my hand to stop him. “Let me finish!” My tone was desperate, aching with the all the tension and confusion collected since I’d come home.
He stood with his hands fisted at his sides, waiting for me to speak, but the word wouldn’t come. I’d recited every syllable at the park. Said them over and over until they were perfect, but standing in front of him now, my clothes soaking wet and heart ripped out of my chest, I couldn’t think of any of them.
“You were home to me,” I said in a torn whisper.
He ran his hand through his drenched hair and gripped his skull.
“You were my protector.”
“I know what it looked like—” His voice came thick and tortured.
“I trusted you!” I cut him off. “And you let me become the other woman.”
He rushed toward me and grabbed my arms, urging me to look up. “Grace and I are over.” His face was intense, his eyes pleading for me to believe him. “I broke up with her before I left for the damned conference.”
I searched his face and swallowed back tears that threatened to choke me. “Then why all this?” My voice trembling.
He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Because she’d been planning it for months—because working together made things complicated—because she begged me to play along…” His grip loosened, but he didn’t move away.
My head began to spin, my breath swallowed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I planned to… ” He looked me in the eyes. “I tried to…”
But I wouldn’t talk to him.
His rough hands traveled up my arms, and even though they were soaking wet, they generated a heat that sent goosebumps over my cold skin.
“I never meant to hurt you.” His voice was soft and heavy with emotion. “It’s fucking killing me that I did.”
One hand moved along my neck, the pad of his calloused thumb grazed my jaw, and my whole body trembled with conflicting urges. I wanted to pull him closer and push him away all at the same time.
Molten blue eyes penetrated my soul, while my heart begged me to run. “What do you want, Jake?”
“For you to trust me. For you to stop telling me you’re leaving me. And to kiss you until you no longer hurt.”
A tear slipped down my cheek and my eyes shifted to his lips—I wanted that too. More than anything in my life, I wanted that.
His solid frame took mine, enveloped me like I was meant to be there, and he lifted me to my toes. His hips to mine, our hearts pounding as one. “I would never do that to you, Katie. Never.”
His whispered words brushed against my mouth, and I claimed fists full of his sodden shirt crushing my mouth to his. Urgent, gentle, both loving and passionate at the same time.
His lips moved against mine, like a thousand promises never to hurt me, to protect me forever, and I took each one. Needing them more than anything. Needing them more than air.
I slipped my hand under his shirt, and his kiss deepened. He lifted my thigh, causing my dress to bunch at my hip, and he cradled me against him. The bulge of his erection grinding against my belly.
He pressed his forehead to mine, his breaths coming in hard, ragged pants. “We should slow down.” But his fingers contradicted his words as they twisted in the wet fabric of my dress, gathering it higher until his palm brushed against my exposed side.
“Jake.” I dug my hips deeper, wanting more of him. Desperate for his touch. Drunk with lust and desire. “Please don’t stop.”
His jaw flexed and he searched my face. All that we’d been through flashed through my mind in an instant. All the times he pulled away, all the rejection that scarred my heart. Then the backs of his fingers caressed my cheeks, and without words he lifted me and cradled me in his arms. He didn’t move at first, just looked at me with an intense heat that made my insides clench and my breath slow.
He carried me through the house, kicking his bedroom door open to crash against the wall, then lowered me to my feet beside the bed. Somehow the intimacy of his room was more intense than what we’d shared outside, and I looked down to his chest.
His hands moved over my arms, then up to lift my chin. He stepped closer, his hand along my throat, cupping my breast through drenched fabric, and he took my bottom lip in his mouth. I sucked in a breath, and my fingers shook as I fumbled over the buttons of his shirt. I’d never wanted anything more in my whole life, yet I was terrified. What if I wasn’t enough? What if I didn’t satisfy him?
Jake’s hands traveled down the front of me until they reached the edge of my dress. In one easy motion he lifted it over my head and discarded it to the floor, leaving me nude except for my panties.
I was exposed, completely vulnerable as his gaze slowly took me in. My lips, my breasts, the thin, white cotton that covered my most intimate parts. My heart was in my throat, my breath heavy as I resisted the urge to shield myself. I didn’t have the body he was used to. All my insecurities rushed to the surface, and I began to tremble with them.
“What’s the matter, Katie?” His voice low and hoarse.
I shook my head. “I’m no good at this.”
His hands enveloped mine. “You could have fooled me.” His mouth covered mine, and he pushed me back until my thighs hit the edge of the mattress. His hands brushed up my sides, and he gently lowered me to the soft sheets. He removed what was left of his clothes and joined me on the bed. His biceps flexing as he suspended himself above me.
My need for him burned; every nerve in my body was on fire. His fingers moved from my collarbone, down my breasts, all the way to the edge of my panties. Then they slipped under the edge and found the slick heat of my core.
“Fuck, Katie.”
His lips ran over my jaw, my neck, and his fingers began to move in slow circles adding the perfect amount of pressure where I needed it most. One finger slipped inside, then another, and I arched against his hand. His skilled fingers working magic as they curled inside me. I grasped his back with both hands and shamelessly began to press myself against his hand as a sweet ache ran the length of my body.
“Jake, please,” I breathed.
He lifted my hips and pulled my panties down my thighs. Abandoning them to the floor with my dress. He threw me back on the pillows, and my pulse quickened. This was really happening. I was naked in Jake’s bed, and he was going to make love to me.
His mouth came down on mine, and my hands found his back, exploring every inch of muscle. He moved lower, placing feather-light kisses along my neck, my chest, until his mouth covered the hard peak of my nipple. Tugging, sucking, sending a surge of deep pleasure to resonate through me. This was not Kevin. This was Jake, and he owned me.
He moved to the bedside table, and I heard a rip seconds before he settled between my thighs. I knew he was ready, and I opened wider, welcoming him.
His eyes met mine and he swallowed. “Do you want me?”
I looked up at his handsome face, his jaw flexed with concentration, eyes smoldering with his own desire. I’d never wanted anything more in my life. “Yes.”
In one swift movement he entered me, filling me with the width of his erection. I grasped his smooth flesh. My teeth grazed his shoulder, and I rolled my hips, taking every inch of him I could. He moved slowly at first. A tortuous rhythm as he propped himself on his elbows. My breaths came hard and heavy, and he picked up speed. Asking,
taking, demanding, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, lifting my hips higher, matching him thrust after thrust.
His pace increased, pushing me farther, and I selfishly took every bit of him. A delicious tension built inside as he pushed me to the edge of my sanity. My legs began to shake as the pressure grew with unbearable intensity, and my whole body clenched around him. Jake’s mouth smothered my cry as I shattered into a million tiny pieces. His pace slowed and he kissed me thorough and deep. His hips grinding with achingly slow movements as wave after wave of my orgasm rushed over me.
With one last, powerful thrust his jaw flexed, and he found his own release. The weight of him sank into me. I ran my fingers through his hair as a deep sense of satisfaction settled inside.
“Am I too heavy?” he asked through puffs of breath.
“No. I like the way you feel.”
He propped himself to his elbows and traced fingertips over my jaw. “You’re so beautiful.”
His thumb ran over my bottom lip, and I kissed the pad of it, sure that in any moment I’d wake up. His lips came to mine, nibbling soft kisses across my parted mouth, and I never wanted him to stop, never wanted him to leave. I just wanted to spend the rest of my life with him on top of me, our bodies joined. We fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
His cock twitched inside me, and I clenched around him, already wanting more. He rolled to the side and got out of bed. My body shivered with the cold of his absence, and I heard the static sound of the shower. He was back by my side a second later, pulling me with both hands.
He stood in front of me and walked me backward until I felt the cool tile floor beneath my feet.
“I never should have let you move to San Diego.”
His words caught me off guard, and my heart picked up speed. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Because it’s what you said you wanted.” He guided me into the shower, and warm water ran over my body.
My throat tightened with raw emotion, but I forced out the words. “All I’ve ever wanted was you.”
His head fell to my shoulder, and I ran my hands down his back. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t know what I ever did to make you want me.”
He didn’t know? Without him I would have been lost. “You were everything.”
His fingers ran through my wet hair, and he looked at me with an intensity that made my knees weak. “Don’t ever leave me again.” His mouth covered mine, and he pushed me against the tile. His arms and body caged me in as he trailed soft kisses down my neck. I sucked in lungs full of steamy air, and my head fell back against the wall. Surrendering my body to his gentle touch.
He squeezed body wash into his hand, and the scent of clean spice filled my nose. Rough fingers settled on my shoulders, then ran gently down my body from breasts, to abdomen, all the way to the juncture of my thighs. I was brazen with my desire for him, my legs parting on their own accord as his thumb found my slick folds.
When he turned me toward the water I grabbed the body wash and began an exploration of my own. Even after our lovemaking, I still felt timid as my hands coasted from his shoulders to his back. He let out a low groan of encouragement as his muscles flexed under my slippery hands. My fingers ran down his corded arms to his hard abdomen, then lower.
When I reached his erection, I pressed my body against him and tiny whimpers escaped my lips. I just had him less than ten minutes ago, and I was already a quivering mess.
He moved with me under the stream of water, rinsing us both, then pushed farther until I was up against the wall again. The shower was full of hot steam, and the cool tile against my back sent shivers up my spine. His hands traveled downward, over my bottom, until he gripped both thighs and lifted. I straddled him, my legs wrapped around his waist.
“Damn, Katie.”
My breath came in heavy pants, and my hand went between our bodies. I gripped him in my palm, and I tried to shift myself on top of him. “I’m on the pill,” I whispered against his mouth.
He froze, and my invitation lingered between us in the air. I suddenly felt stupid and naive, and a rush of heat crept up my neck. “I’m sorry—I just—I’ve been tested— we don’t have to—”
He pressed me deep into the wall, one arm supporting my weight, as the other silenced me with a finger to my lips. “Hush.”
His intense stare left me immobilized. The sweltering heat of it turned my insides to liquid. “I’ve never not used a condom before.”
Now I was speechless. Jake was a grown man, one who’d had many partners, yet he’d never been with a woman while unprotected.
He shifted me lower, his eyes never leaving mine, and I felt him between my thighs. My throat thickened with emotion as I realized the significance of what was about to transpire. He was giving himself over. Whole, uncovered, and without question. And then he entered me.
I AWOKE IN A TANGLE of limbs, too warm with my face buried in the crook of Jake’s neck. I had no idea what time we’d fallen asleep, but my muscles already ached in protest of the things I’d made them do. A good ache. One that reminded me of each word, each kiss, each touch.
His arms and legs covered me like a blanket. An electric one—turned on to night-sweats mode. How the hell had I fallen asleep like this, I didn’t know. I was the needs-a-king-sized-bed-so-we-don’t-touch kind of girl. I couldn’t even stand Kevin’s feet touching mine, and here I was completely surrounded by Jake. I smiled against the warmth of his skin. This was so surreal. Like at any moment the alarm would beep and I’d be startled out of a dream. But this wasn’t a dream, and every moment, every touch, was burned into my brain forever. My leg began to tingle under the weight of his thigh, and I stretched a little to see the clock.
3:04 a.m.
Jake was as hot as a sauna, but I wanted to stay like this forever. Skin against skin, each breath coming in unison. I’d never been touched like he touched me. Cherished in the arms of a man who could so easily break me. I arched my back, hoping to free up a little more room to breathe, but he pulled me closer and burrowed in like I was one of his pillows. Not that I minded. I’d actually pay good money to be his pillow, fantasized about it for years actually. But the last time I’d eaten was the bite of crepe he fed me yesterday morning, and even though the sun had yet to rise, I was suddenly ravenous—and trapped. Not the best combination. But sleeping with someone you’ve known your whole life gives certain advantages. Like knowing the fact he slept like the dead, and he was also very ticklish. I poked him in the ribs, causing him to stir, and took the opportunity to roll away.
The light was still on in the hall, and I could just make out Jake’s black T-shirt that hung on the foot of the bed. I grabbed it and pulled it over my head. It smelled of him. The smell I’d longed to be closer to since I was a girl now clung to me like smoke from a fire. My whole world had changed in an instant. I’d gone from thinking I was losing him forever to holding him naked in my arms. Life was funny that way. Just when you think you have it all figured out... I buried my nose into the soft cotton at my shoulder and inhaled the earthy spice that was so unmistakably Jake.
He’d been such a giving lover. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but it was so much more than anything I’d ever had with Kevin. No. Anything I had shared with anyone. He’d been as affected as I was. There was no doubt in my mind. I was swept away. Not just my body, but my soul. I glanced down at the bed. His muscular back, well defined even in the relaxed state of sleep, his sun-bronzed skin so kissable it made me question my need for food. Could it really be this easy? Did he really want me? All of me?
For how long? These were all things I should have thought about before falling into bed with him. Before falling in love with him... But in the heat of a moment, I wasn’t thinking about our future. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all. And whether he wanted it or not, every piece of my bruised and battered heart was his. I just had to trust that he’d hold it tight. And not let it fall apart.
I scooped up our sti
ll soggy clothes and deposited them into the laundry basket on the way to the kitchen. The house that was filled with the commotion of guests just hours before was now replaced with quiet. The counters were wiped clean and all evidence of the party was gone. But a quick peek to the backyard revealed the tent and tables still remained. What had happened when I’d run?
My stomach let out a loud gurgle, and I opened the fridge to find Jake’s untouched birthday cake on the bottom shelf. Should I? It’s not like he’d care. Plus, the only other things in there were the appetizers purchased by Grace.
I pulled out the cake, placed it on the counter, and just when I was ready to cut a large slice, warm hands snaked around me from behind. “Hey,” Jake said in my ear, his voice low.
I leaned back against his firm chest and smiled. How would I ever get used to this. To be able to touch him whenever I wanted. “Did you sleep well?”
His arms tightened around my waist. “I did. Until I realized you were gone.” He nibbled kisses along the side of my neck. “Finding you barefoot in the kitchen wearing only my shirt may have made up for it though.” The curve of his lips brushed against my neck. “Is that for me?”
I nodded, and the rough bristle of his whiskers rubbed against my cheek. “Want some?”
“Yes. Among other things.” His hand moved up the back of my bare thigh, then cupped a handful of my naked bottom.
Oh God, I wanted other things too. “Stop distracting me and make a wish.” I pulled a candle and lighter out of the drawer, put it in the center of the cake, and lit it.
“Hmmm… My wish? It involves you, this cake, and nothing else.”
I bit my smiling mouth closed. “Blow out your candle.” My voice alarmingly breathy. “I’m hungry, and if I don’t eat I’ll pass out.”
“When’s the last time you ate?” He moved to lean a hip against the counter. He wore only his black PJ pants, and his dark brows furrowed.
Home to You Page 19
