by Sierra Dean
“Lucas?”
He hesitated as the door swung open.
“I did miss you. I really did. And I wanted to come home. But you should have let me do it my way. I needed time.”
“I know. But, Secret, we needed you here. We’re your friends.”
“Yeah. With friends like you, who the hell needs enemies?”
I slammed the door behind me.
Chapter Eleven
I knew Lucas was up to something the second Dominick showed me to the garage.
The smirking blond bodyguard had been gracious enough to loan me his leather jacket, and because of his slight build, it fit me perfectly. Plus, thanks to the DNA he shared with his brother, it smelled comforting and familiar.
“This one is yours,” Dominick said, indicating a pristine yellow BMW convertible.
Like all the other cars in the garage, the BMW Z4 was meticulously detailed and polished within an inch of its life. Something about this specific one, maybe the color, or some type of new-car magic, made me certain this car was more than a loaner.
When I shot Dominick an accusatory glare, he raised his hands and added, “Messenger.”
“Harrumph.”
“Will you feel better if I call it a loaner?” he asked, obviously picking up on my discomfort.
“My pride will.”
“You live in a special country of denial, Secret.”
“Have you met me? It’s more like a planet.” I couldn’t help but smile at him.
Dominick tossed a set of keys at me, and I tested the weight of the new object in my hand. It felt foreign but not unwelcome.
“Is it gonna blow up?”
Dominick laughed. “I doubt he’d go through all the effort of getting you back only to kill you.”
I opened the unlocked driver’s door and let the scent of new leather waft out. I’d never owned a new car before.
Just a loaner, I reminded myself.
“Dominick?” I stopped before climbing in.
“Mmm?” As always, he was grinning and his blue eyes were alight with some inner mischievousness.
I reconsidered my question, opening my mouth to speak, then looked away from him and into the car so I wouldn’t have to see his face change.
“Was it bad? When I left, I mean.”
He was quiet for so long I had to look back to be sure he was still there.
“For which one?” he asked, just as I was certain he wasn’t going to respond. When I couldn’t answer, he came and stood on the opposite side of the open car door and fixed a serious expression on me. I couldn’t turn away. “It was different for both of them. For Lucas, he was so busy trying to hold the pack together, if he was hurting, he didn’t let it show. But he needed you here. You killed Marcus, and whether you know it or not, that puts you in a pretty important position within the pack. I mean, like, Desmond-level importance.”
“What? How?”
“You risked your life for the pack. You killed someone who meant to kill the king, and you defended the pack from total collapse. It makes you a pack protector.”
“Is that a job title?” I didn’t mean to sound so stupid, but there was still so much I didn’t know about the world of the pack. I knew if I offered my protection to individuals, they became my responsibility under pack law. Grandmere had told me that was why she was able to live among werewolves even though she was human. But I wasn’t aware the same rule applied to the pack as a whole. Had I made the entire pack my responsibility when I killed Marcus?
Dominick had waited for me to connect the dots, watching confusion change to understanding in my expression.
“You’re pretty much the den mother now, Secret.”
“So when I bailed, I wasn’t just leaving Lucas.”
“You were leaving the entire pack.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
I ran an open palm over the top of the car. “What about Desmond?” I didn’t want to hear the answer, but I needed to ask.
“He’s been waiting at the penthouse for you for months. He refuses to come out here and says protecting you was his responsibility and he failed. When he saw you in that basement, it took something out of him. He thought he was going to lose you.”
I couldn’t say anything. The difference between my two wolves became clearer every day. When I left, Lucas lost his mate, his partner in the pack. For Desmond, my running away meant he had watched me escape death only to lose me all over again, this time by my own choice. Lucas needed me to help him lead, but Desmond needed me for entirely emotional reasons. I regretted leaving him in Manhattan to come out here.
“Lucas still should have let me come back on my own.”
Dominick barked a laugh. “He’s royalty. Have you ever known royalty to wait patiently for anything?”
I smiled, only a little, but enough that the heavy thoughts around us seemed to lift.
“I missed you, Dominick.”
He scooted around the door and wrapped me up in a warm, brotherly hug. He smelled like moss and sunshine. I hugged him back. It was nice to be close to another wolf without dealing with a riot of flavor in my mouth or the intense desire to be ravished. Dominick was comforting to me because he felt like the family I’d never known.
“It’s good to have you home. I never got a chance to tell you I was happy you didn’t die.” He planted a light kiss on my forehead. “Give the boss a break on this one. You’re good for him. He didn’t know any better way to get you back.”
“I need to make him sweat it out a little longer.”
“You wouldn’t be you if you caved too soon.” He hugged me again, then added, “But go easy on my brother.”
I wanted to make a joke about just how easy I’d been on his brother, but I stopped myself. “I’ll be good.”
“Well we both know that’s not true.” He smiled and let me get into the car, then closed the door behind me.
Outside the garage, I paused to put the top down. The car’s engine purred while it idled, and I let myself enjoy the view of the stars. I’d wondered about the logic of giving a convertible to a half-vampire with an allergy to the sun. My concerns were resolved by the open air and the view of the night sky.
I was about to continue my course down the long driveway when a body vaulted itself over the passenger door and into the seat next to me.
“Hey.” Kellen Rain was beaming like a lunatic. Her blue eyes were like her brother’s, only they weren’t tainted by the worry of leadership.
“Uh.”
“Good thing you’re taking the car. I was super close to convincing Luke to give it to me.”
“Luke.” I’d never heard anyone else call him by the abbreviated form of his name, and Kellen used it so easily.
“Oh man, Secret, I swear to God, I’ve never seen anything as funny in my life as you knocking him in the pool tonight. I thought I was going to pee.” She looked away from me and to the driveway. “Are we gonna go or what?”
“Go?”
“Yeah, you know? Drive? To the city?” She pointed at the driveway. “Isn’t that where you’re going?”
“Yes.”
“Then you wouldn’t mind me tagging along, would you?” She obviously didn’t expect any other answer than yes, because she was already buckling her seat belt. I stared at her for a moment longer, until she looked back at me with a bright smile and her altogether-too-familiar eyes. I shifted the car into gear and started to drive.
As we passed the main gate and the car eased onto the main highway, I broke the silence.
“Isn’t there some sort of pack meeting in progress?”
“Sure. There always is this close to the full moon.”
“Is it okay for you to leave?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? You’ll be in more trouble for leaving than me, considering you’re pack protector. And, you know, future queen.”
“Mmm,” I grumbled, then remembered what Lucas had told me about Kellen months ago. “Wait, you’re not a werewolf, a
re you?”
Kellen grinned and tapped her temple. “Bingo. No, I was never ‘Awakened’.” She made condescending little air quotes around the word. “I feel plenty awake though.”
Awakening was the werewolf coming-of-age process, in which a young man or woman who carried the gene that would activate lycanthropy in them allowed themselves to be bitten by a full-fledged werewolf, thus becoming a werewolf themselves. It was an important rite of passage for werewolf families, but the choice was always up to the youth in question. Lucas opted to follow the family line, and Kellen chose to stay human.
In royal werewolf families, like the Rains, it was expected for the next generation to follow suit so the family would remain in power. Kellen had probably caused quite a stir in her family when she declined to be Awakened. It didn’t seem to bother Lucas at all.
The car headlights cut a vibrant white swath across the black highway, and yellow lines flicked by us at an alarming speed. I was going too fast, but that was the vampire in me. Overhead, a strip of stars twinkled in the purple-black sky. Stars were a rare treat when you lived in New York City, but I’d gotten used to seeing them again while living in the country. Tall trees encroached on the highway, creating an ominous coniferous hallway of nothing but blackness.
The light from the headlights also made it difficult for me to discern if anything was lurking in the dark, one of many reasons I usually walked or ran instead of driving.
“Can I ask you something, Secret?”
It took a moment for me to shake out of my distraction. On top of the varied lighting, the scents sailing by me were overwhelming. Driving with the top down was a sensory overload.
“Sure.”
“Do you love my brother?”
The car briefly swerved into the wrong lane before I caught myself, steadied the wheel and corrected the direction. “Wow.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know.”
“I don’t know, Kellen.” I gripped the wheel a little too hard. “I haven’t known him all that long.”
“But he’s courting you, you know?” The word courting sounded strange coming from the lips of a nineteen-year-old club kid. I knew what she meant, but it was still difficult to put the concept together with the person speaking it.
“I know.”
“And you’re soul-bonded.”
“Yes.”
“So, don’t you, like, love each other by default?”
I stared at the highway. An updraft caught my hair and blew it across my face, then back up and over my head. It tickled the back of my neck. The air smelled like rain, but it wasn’t close enough to cause immediate worry.
“I care about him.”
“And what about Desmond?”
“We’re not discussing this.” I froze up, all my defenses locking into place. “We’re not discussing my relationship with Desmond.”
A thin smile spread across her lips, and I knew I’d given her all the answer she needed.
For the next hour we didn’t speak. She found the radio and contented herself with a pop station. I hated every other song, but I didn’t argue because it meant she wasn’t asking me anything. When we were within view of the city skyline, she dropped a bomb on me.
“I used to be in love with Desmond.”
I slammed on the brakes before colliding with a car that had slowed to a stop ahead of me. No longer moving, I turned and fixed my eyes on her.
“What?”
“Desmond. I was in love with him.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
She shrugged. “It’s not like it means anything. I was only fifteen, and he wanted nothing to do with me. We grew up together, so I was like a sister to him. But I guess I know what it’s like. Loving him, I mean.”
I didn’t think Kellen had any grasp on what it meant to be soul-bonded. She was human, so she’d given up her claim on experiencing the werewolf version of finding one’s soul mate. I doubted her fifteen-year-old schoolgirl crush on a then twenty-something Desmond was anything like what I felt for him. But how do you tell someone what they feel is wrong?
Chapter Twelve
After dropping Kellen off on the Upper East Side, I returned home. I walked into the apartment expecting to trip over shoes. When I didn’t, I hesitantly took off my Louboutins—now destroyed from their foray into the pool—and dropped my purse on the floor. It fell with a loud thunk where the gun met the carpet. At least the gun hadn’t gone swimming with me.
The apartment still smelled of vampire, and I sighed. Sig had said he would take care of the Brigit situation for me. Stupid, unreliable vampire.
“Brigit? Are you here?”
Rio the kitten plodded over and started rubbing against my bare ankles again. If the kitten was here, the blonde vampire couldn’t be far. My vision had adjusted to the darkness, and though there was no one else in the room, it felt like I wasn’t alone.
I shooed the kitten away with my foot, which seemed to please her because she began to purr. Hopefully Sig had fulfilled his promise about the power, because even though I could see in the dark, I didn’t necessarily want to live without light.
I found the switch on the wall and flicked it up, expecting nothing. Instead, the room was flooded with warm light, and I could see my apartment for the first time since I’d gotten home. At least Sig had been true to his word on that point. There was still the matter of the vampire I smelled, though.
“Brigit? Seriously, I’m getting annoyed. More than usual.”
I moved towards my bedroom and started to think I was a little crazy. The smell must have just lingered from all the months she’d been living here, because Brigit wasn’t anywhere to be found. In my bedroom, the invitation of my bed was almost too strong to avoid. But first I needed to shower.
Feeling restored once three days’ worth of blood, sweat and pool water had been cleaned off my skin and out of my hair, I towel-dried my curls and threw caution to the wind by not blow-drying them. Tomorrow my hair would be a mess, but I didn’t have the energy to dry it tonight.
Wrapping a towel around me, I walked to my room with the carefree manner of someone who was truly alone for the first time in months. The second I crossed the threshold into my bedroom, I knew how wrong I’d been to ignore my initial instincts.
There was no time for me to react once I realized I wasn’t alone. In one instant I was aware, and before I could open my lips to express shock, I was pushed hard against my bedroom wall with a hand covering my mouth and a strong, cool body pressed onto me.
The dark eyes and pale face looking back at me were so familiar I swore for a moment I must have been dreaming. But there was nothing erotic about this situation. Holden Chancery was in my bedroom, but this time he was altogether too real. My eyes were wide, but my pulse was slow and even. I was surprised, but at this point I still wasn’t afraid.
I was, however, wishing I had on more than a towel.
When I didn’t struggle, he stopped holding me so hard, but still firmly enough I couldn’t get away. I may have been strong, but most vampires were still stronger. Conversely, I could kick most werewolves’ asses in a fair fight. Maybe I was the perfect pack protector.
“Are you going to scream if I move my hand?” he asked.
I glared at him as if to say you’re kidding me, right? He pulled his fingers away.
I took a deep lungful of breath, now that his hand wasn’t blocking my mouth. I looked at him, trying to connect the man in my room to the Holden I knew. He was paler than usual. His skin had taken on a worrisome gray tone beneath the standard vampiric white. His brown eyes, which were always dark, were now almost black, and his pupils were huge. His hair, like in my dream, was longer than I remembered and too wild for him.
“Holden?”
“Welcome home.” There was more than a little sarcasm and anger in his voice.
“Are you insane? You know Sig was here earlier, don’t you?”
He took a step back, so he was no longer pre
ssed against me, but he was still close and still holding me against the wall. He didn’t want me going anywhere.
“I waited until Ingrid took Brigit away before I came in. I’ve been watching.”
Rio had entered the room, but something about Holden upset her, because she was puffed up to twice her usual size and was making a weird howling noise low in her throat. Coming from a kitten, it sounded like the air being let out of a balloon. Holden ignored her.
“What are you doing here?” I put a hand in between us when he loosened his grip so I could keep my towel together.
“Did you come back to kill me?”
Now that he was here with me, I had the perfect opportunity to get the answers to the questions that had been nagging me for months. “What did you do, Holden? Why do they want me to kill you? Did you really go rogue?”
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Secret.” But in spite of the cavalier tone, he didn’t relax, and he was wound tighter than a spring. The whole room filled with tension.
“Holden.”
“Do you think so little of me?”
“Don’t answer a question with a question.”
He moved back and took the few short steps to my bed, where he sat down and put his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his thick, dark hair.
“I didn’t go rogue,” he said finally.
“Then why are they saying you did? Why did they contract me to kill you?”
“I knew I was in trouble when someone told me you’d gotten the contract. The Tribunal only contracts you when they mean business. But then you left. I didn’t know if I should be waiting for you to help me, or if you were letting me put my defenses down before you came after me. I reached out the only way I knew how. I needed to know what you planned to do.”
I froze. “You mean by coming here tonight, right?”
“You know what I mean.”
I pulled the towel tighter and started looking for something else to cover myself with.
“There’s no point, I’ve seen it all already,” he reminded me.
I glared at him and grabbed a robe off the arm of the chair by my door. It smelled like Brigit, but I didn’t care right then. I put it on and let the towel drop.
