Until then, she was just going to have to hold the broken shards of her heart together somehow. Later, when she was home and alone in her bed, she could finally let herself fall apart.
A single fear lingered deep in her mind as she caught sight of Rory laughing at something Wendy said.
What if, like Humpty Dumpty, she could never put herself back together again?
Chapter 22
There were five shots of whiskey on the bar.
Rory swallowed the first one, slamming the glass down on top of the wooden surface. He pushed the glass out of the way and his fingers danced around the rim of the second.
Wendy had excused herself to go to the bathroom and he didn’t particularly care if she came back anytime soon. Not because he didn’t like her or because she was annoying. Quite the opposite. Wendy’s only flaw was that she wasn’t Gina. And it wasn’t like that’d bother Wendy. After all, she knew the truth. They were in an arranged public affair, but at least Wendy was able to go home every night to the man she actually loved.
Rory didn’t have that choice and keeping up the charade was costing him.
A hand patted him on the back and he craned his neck to see Dev taking a seat at the bar beside him.
“It’s a beautiful night at a beautiful event, so I’m going to need your ass to cheer the hell up, buddy.”
“I’m not in the mood to be cheerful, but I’m hoping this whiskey will get me halfway there.” He grabbed one shot into his hand and pushed another shot towards Dev. “So cheers to matrimonial bliss.”
“Yeah, I guess I can cheers to that.” Dev shrugged and threw back the shot. “Damn, that’s some good shit.”
“Yeah, but the real question is…” Rory took his shot and then set the glass down onto the bar. “Will it do the trick?”
“Rory, you know you’re my best friend. You’re practically my brother, so can I give you some advice?”
“That depends.” Rory cocked one brow. “If I don’t like your advice, can I kick your ass?”
“Sure, but just to be clear, the only reason you kicked my ass about your sister was because I barely fought back. It wouldn’t go so easily this time.”
Rory inclined his head in acknowledgement.
“Especially since you’re being a fucking moron,” Dev added nonchalantly.
“I’m being a moron? What did I do?” Rory growled.
“Nothing. That’s the point. What are you doing now?” He gestured to the empty shot glasses.
Rory sighed and bowed his head. What else could he have done? The last time he had seen Gina, she wouldn’t give him an inch, much less a mile. Love was a two-way street, and if she didn’t feel the same way he did, what was the point?
Rory reached for the last two shots—one for him and one for his best friend. They clinked their glasses together before tossing them back.
“You know, drinking isn’t going to fix whatever is ailing you, Rory.”
“I’m not looking for a permanent solution,” Rory pointed out with a shake of his head. “I’m just looking for some temporary relief.”
Dev nodded, a brief smile folding across his lips. “I like that. We could use it in a song.”
Rory didn’t pay him much mind though. “I’m crazy about that girl, crazy about Gina Fucking Saldano, of all people. If you would have asked me six months ago what I thought about her? I would have told you she was the biggest pain in my ass, and now she really is the biggest pain in my ass, except…” He turned to Dev with a frown. “Except now I think I’m in love with her. She’s all I can think about. I keep waiting for it to start hurting less or for me to miss her less and every day it’s back. Like this gaping hole in my chest.”
“Then what the fuck are you doing, man?” Dev jumped from his stool and threw his arm around Rory. “Go get her.”
“There’s no point, man.” He threw his shoulder to push Dev backwards. “She said she didn’t want to be with me.”
“Bro, I’m going to tell you this once and only once, but I need you to look at me, okay?”
Rory shoved back the rush of irritation and spun around on his stool to face Dev. “What?”
“I think you’re looking at this wrong. You don’t think she loves you?” He shook his head furiously and chuckled under his breath. “I think the problem is that she loves you too much. Loves you enough to give up her own happiness to make sure the band and everything you’ve worked for doesn’t get fucked up. I think she backed away because she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness to make sure that your security wasn’t threatened.”
He heard the words, but refused to let them sink in. Hope was the last thing he needed now. Losing Gina once had nearly killed him. Losing her twice would finish the job.
“I think you’re being a little too optimistic about this scenario.” He spun back around and leaned across the bar with two fingers held up, signaling he wanted two more shots. The bartender nodded and began to pour their drinks as Dev climbed back into the seat beside him. “It’s easier for you, I guess, since you’re on the outside looking in.”
“Easier?” Dev snorted. “Have you forgotten how hard Cheri and I had to work to get to the point where we’re at today? We almost lost everything. Nothing is easier. It’s all perspective. And yours is fucked right now.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “What would you have me do, Dev? Force her to talk to me?” Rory turned back to his friend, intent on hearing him out. One way or another, he knew he needed to figure out what his next move was going to be and he needed to figure it out soon because this feeling roiling inside him was for the birds.
“If you really want to see how much she cares, pussyfooting around ain’t gonna do it. Be honest. Let it rip, no regrets. Throw a grenade at it and blow the whole thing up.” Dev climbed to his feet and patted his friend on the back. “I’m going to leave you here to think while I go to the bathroom. And I trust that you’re eventually going to wise up and do the right thing like you always do. Don’t disappoint me, bro.”
“Yeah, right,” Rory sighed and gritted his teeth. He cocked his head over his shoulder to see Gina dancing with Quinn out on the dance floor. His buddy had crashed the party a little while before because he couldn’t stand to miss out on the fun. For the first time that night, he saw Gina wearing a genuine smile. The smile that pierced his heart every fucking time.
Dev was probably wrong. Gina probably just didn’t feel the same as he did, which meant, if he did this? If he tossed the grenade, there was a very strong possibility that it would blow up in his face.
But if he didn’t?
He would be letting the only woman he’d ever loved walk away without a fight.
Fuck that.
Chapter 23
“You okay, buddy?”
Quinn’s low voice tickled her ear and she nodded.
She was as okay as she could be, given the situation. But it was more her career decision that had her feeling just a tiny bit better than she had an hour ago.
She’d done all she could do for Sub-Zero and it was time to move on. Quinn spun her in a slow circle as she blinked back tears. It had been a hell of a ride and she loved these boys, but all rides had to end sometime.
Despite the pain of the evening, she was glad she’d come. It had given her a chance to see Rory again and made her realize she didn’t have it in her to do it again. Not day to day. So she was going to give her band her notice first thing in the morning. Then she was going to move far away.
Because seeing him, especially with other women?
Made her want to curl up and die.
They were in great hands now with Ava at the helm, and she could leave with a clear conscience.
And a shattered heart.
She managed to hold her tears in because she knew she’d become tabloid material if she didn’t. The headlines would read; Crazy Ex Crashes Wedding And Loses Her Shit.
Yeah, no thanks.
/>
But that meant she had to break out, ASAP, because her composure was slipping more every minute.
The music kicked up a notch to something fast-paced and Quinn released her. She spun around in a circle, snapping her fingers. Maybe, if she kept up the energy, it would be easier to continue pretending as if she was having a grand old time, when in reality it felt like she was being stabbed in the heart over and over again.
When she turned back to Quinn, though, she jerked back in shock as she looked up into Rory’s solemn face.
No way.
No frigging way.
“I’m not dancing with you,” she managed to choke out. She so wasn’t doing this in front of all these people and photographers. She twisted on her feet, prepared to flee, but he grabbed her arm and he pulled her close.
The music cut out for a split second as the track changed from hip-hop to a slow, rock jam that was all too familiar to Gina. The mood of the room shifted instantly.
Slow Your Gravity. Her favorite song by Sub-Zero. A slow, somber tune about love and commitment that wrenched her heart even on a good day.
And today so was not a good day.
She blinked fast, trying to keep the tears at bay, but they were on their way and there was no way she was going to be able to stop them. As she continued to wage a mortal eye battle with Rory, she cursed herself for not leaving five minutes before.
It was like torture. He smelled of applewood and cinnamon, and his touch around her waist felt like she was in the safest place in the world. She knew she should go but she couldn’t muster the strength.
Why couldn’t he just let it be a clean break instead of dragging the inevitable out?
Her heart raced faster and faster, pounding against her rib cage. She needed to escape. She twisted slightly on her heel, ready to bolt, but his gaze held hers captive.
“Don’t go.”
Two simple words that stopped her world on its axis.
He pressed closer to her and dipped his face close to her ear.
“I can’t sleep, Gina. I can’t eat, I can’t write or play.” His voice was a husky growl full of emotion that sent the butterflies in her stomach fluttering like mad. “I don’t just like you, or want you. I need you. I love you.”
Her throat was so tight she couldn’t get a word out if she tried, but that didn’t matter because what was there to say?
She loved him too. Everything he’d said was the same for her. And it still didn’t matter.
“Rory, the band—”
“Has survived worse,” he cut in sharply. “Do you love me?”
She froze in his arms and realized he’d given up even pretending they were dancing now. The crowd around them had seemed to notice and she could hear their low murmurs.
“Keep moving. We don’t want to make a scene,” she whispered.
“Fuck that, Gina. I do want to make a scene. Maybe then you’ll listen to me.” He pulled back, eyes blazing with fear as he dropped down to one knee.
Was this seriously happening right now?
Gina didn’t have time to process the scene in front of her before camera bulbs began popping like crazy, lighting the scene in hues of flashes of blue. The crowd stirred, igniting into excited chatters and then just as quickly, went dead silent as the music dropped out.
Gina choked on her own breath, stomach pitching wildly while staring wide-eyed at Rory, still on his knee.
“I’m sorry for hijacking the room and the wedding, but let’s face it, everyone thinks Peter is an asshole and probably just came for the free booze and food anyway.”
The crowd erupted in laughter and Gina caught sight of Peter a few yards behind Rory. He wasn’t amused, but Daphne, standing beside him, burst into laughter.
“As for you,” he continued, his eyes boring into Gina’s soul.
Gina swallowed the knot lodged in her throat as she tried to gain control of herself. It was like she was sucking all of the oxygen out of the room and it still wasn’t enough.
“I don’t care if I have to play music in my basement from this moment on. I don’t care what the world thinks, but I do want the world to know exactly how I feel…” He exhaled, looking nervous for the first time since he got down onto one knee. “Gina Saldano, I fucking love you. And I’m down here on one knee asking you to marry me. If you say yes, I promise I’ll get you a ring with a big fat rock and spend my life trying to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
Bulbs continued to flash all around them but she ignored them. She tugged at his hands, trying to get him to stand to no avail. A second later, to the delight of the crowd, she got down on her knees beside him. She leaned in close to him and whispered, “All that work that we’ve done… What about Ava? Jesus, Rory. She’s going to kill us both if we do this…”
He cupped her chin gently, his gaze probing hers. “Do you love me? That’s all I need to know.”
“I…” she stammered, flicking her tongue over her dry lips. If she was going to pass the fuck out, now was going to be the time. Her heart pounded against her ribs and she could feel all eyes aimed squarely on her. But the only ones that mattered were Rory’s. She couldn’t lie to him.
Not anymore.
“Yes. I do. I love you, Rory Galveston.”
Rory swept her up into his arms, taking her by surprise. She let out a squeal and threw one arm around his neck, holding on for dear life as he marched them towards the exit.
Rory cocked his head over his shoulder and shouted, “Quinn, do me a solid and get my date home!”
Quinn nodded in the near distance and then looked over to see Wendy standing wide-eyed and grinning as she waved them off.
The crowd exploded in cheers as Rory carried Gina out the double doors at the front of the venue and down the long hallway leading to the exterior of the luxurious hotel.
He didn’t stop until they reached a luxurious black town car as the flashes continued to pop. The chauffeur held open the door for them, and Rory let Gina down onto her feet and watched her climb into the back of the car.
He was only halfway there. She hadn’t agreed to marry him, but she hadn’t refused either.
And she loves you, man. Dev was right.
He tried not to let the knowledge overwhelm him as he climbed in and closed the door behind him. He knew how stubborn she was, and that he still had work ahead of him. He rapped his knuckles on the partition between him and the driver.
“Central Park.”
“Anything you want, sir.” The driver slid the tinted partition closed again.
“Rory—”
He took Gina’s hand and squeezed it. “Can you give me a minute to talk and then you can say whatever you want to say, all right?”
Her lean throat worked as she swallowed hard and nodded.
“Right.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, not right away. He wasn’t used to being vulnerable, but in his mind, she needed to understand exactly where he was coming from. “I didn’t have the greatest childhood.”
“I know that.” She bowed her head, almost sheepishly. “I wasn’t trying to be nosy, but you said a few things and then Cheri had mentioned in the past that things were very difficult.”
His heart ached when he thought of the things his poor sister had seen and he wished he’d been able to shield her from it all. But she didn’t know the half of it.
“Then you know that my father was an alcoholic and he was abusive. And I thank God every day that he didn’t treat my little sister the way he treated me, because I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I probably would have snapped and killed him with my bare hands. But for me? I was able to handle it for a long time. Some nights, he would beat me bad enough to where I couldn’t walk. The broken bones hurt. You know what hurt worse, though?”
He couldn’t look at her but sensed her shaking her head beside him.
“My mother. She knew it was happening. Could hear it…see the bruises…even cleaned up the blood. And she did nothing about it.�
�� He let out a bitter laugh. “Him, I knew he didn’t know what love was. He was sick and twisted. Her on the other hand, there had been a time where I remembered her stroking my hair and singing to me before bedtime. I remembered being loved. Then it was just gone. And every day rolled into the next and I had nothing good in my life but Bug. Dev came along eventually, and we got into music. It was my whole life. For a long time, it was enough.” He cocked his head to her and held her gaze. Looked her dead straight in the eyes, like they were communicating for the first time. “Now it’s not anymore. That was the part I should’ve told you before. I don’t want an escape anymore. I want to live my life to the fullest. The band is important but as long as I can make music, I don’t care where it takes me, as long as I have you to share it with. I have enough money that we could live on it for the rest of our lives if we decide to. So, Gina Saldano, I’m going to ask you again.”
Shit, this part was terrifying. But, no guts, no glory. Fear wasn’t something that should have power over him. He had spent enough of his life being afraid and he wasn’t going to let fear rule his life anymore. Back when he and the boys decided to make the jump, decided to try and make it big, they were all scared. But Rory woke up everyday so damn thankful that they took that risk.
Throw the grenade, bro.
“Will you marry me?”
Gina’s eyes filled with tears and she let out a broken laugh. “Oh, Rory. I am so sorry for all that you suffered. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been for you. And you were right when you said I was being a chicken, that I’m afraid of getting hurt. I’m straight up fucking terrified.” She pushed herself closer, snuggling against his chest. “I didn’t want to ruin your chances at huge success and have you resent me, almost as much as I didn’t want you to break my heart. But if you’re sure…”
“I’m fucking sure, Gina. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
“Then, yes,” she said simply, pulling back to gaze into his eyes. “I’ll marry you.”
Hard Sell: A Bad-Boy, Rock Star Romance Page 15
