by Tara Maya, Elle Casey, J L Bryan, Anthea Sharp, Jenna Elizabeth Johnson, Alexia Purdy (epub)
He looked stricken, his face now going white. "That bad, huh?"
I was afraid he was going to do that crazy breathing thing again. I put a serious look on my face. "No, actually. She just said your name; like, repeated it. She didn't say anything else. I just took off - I started thinking about the spasms you'd have if you found out I'd done it, and I got scared."
Tony knew my serious look was a load of crap. "You? Scared? That'll be the day." He closed his locker quietly, because Tony never slams his locker shut. "Let's go, we're gonna be late for class." He sounded really, really tired. Or bummed.
I felt like crap. Now I really wanted to punch that chick in the head, and I'm generally not a violent person. I talk tough, but I'm all talk and no action usually. I had to do something, though, to get him out of this mood.
"Oh boy, biology, hold me back. Tony, I'm so excited, I feel like skipping to class!" I grabbed his elbow and started skipping, dragging him along a few feet before he was able to wrestle himself away from me.
"Suit yourself!" I yelled, as I skipped my way through the crowds, annoying a few people on my way, no doubt.
"Skipping in a crowded hallway is antisocial, Jayne!" he yelled out after me.
"Perfect!" I yelled back.
Poor kid - thought he was gonna shame the maniac out of me. He should have known that was never going to work.
Just then the assistant principal opened his door, interrupting my reverie. He smiled at Brad who returned the smile and gave him a knowing look. Then he turned his head and saw me, scowling in recognition.
Perfect. I tried to duplicate the look Brad had given him, just for fun, but I'm sure my humor was totally wasted on this guy.
"Jayne Sparks, what a surprise. Come into my office and sit."
Just another day of lame-ass high school. All I could think about as he blathered on and on about responsibility and respect was: When am I finally going to get the hell out of this place?
***
I met Tony in front of the school after seventh period so we could walk home together. He lives two streets over from me, less than two minutes on foot.
"How'd your meeting with VP Matthews go today?" he asked.
"Why fine, thank you so much for asking," I answered brightly as I kept walking. Fast.
Tony struggled to keep up with me, carrying his normal hundred pounds of books and wearing his ugly-ass Frankenstein shoes. "Stop screwing around, Jayne; did you get suspended or not?"
"Nope. Just lectured until I wanted to stab myself in the eye with my pen. I actually prefer a suspension - otherwise known as a mini-vacation."
"Well, you're lucky. Anyway, I have news ... big news."
I immediately stopped, since Tony never said he had big news ... it must be really big, I thought. My unexpected stop caused him to bump into me.
Next thing I knew, his stupid backpack had swung off his shoulder and hit me in the arm, knocking me off the sidewalk to land in the grass on my butt under a big tree. Leaves cascaded down from its branches, landing all around and on me. I hadn't even touched the tree at all. Sad to think it was the percussion of my ass hitting the ground that had caused the tree to shed its clothing like that.
"Aaarghh!" I yelled out as I went down, "Tony what the hell is your problem?!"
"Oh crap, sorry!" He stopped struggling with his bag and rushed over to help me up. "Are you hurt?"
We both froze when we heard the next sound.
"Yo! Look at the two lovebirds under the tree. Whaddya doin' over there, dorks? Having a picnic?"
Brad Powers strikes again. He not only spends his time wooing the hearts of assistant principals and teachers everywhere, he also likes long walks on the beach, reading poetry, and making students who don't look like Barbie dolls feel like complete a-holes.
I stood up, brushing myself off. "Yes, Mr. Flowers! We are having a picnic! Why don't you come over here and join us? I have something special for you to EAT!"
Tony was sweating, the droplets of water beading up on his forehead as he pleaded with me. "Jayne, don't do it. Just shut up; he's going to pound us."
"Pound us? I highly doubt that. I'm pretty sure I can take him."
"What'd you say, bitch?" Brad was crossing the street, obviously planning to come join our picnic.
Tony went into full breakdown mode. "Jaaayyne, he's coming over heeere!"
"Shut up, Baloney, I can see that. Let me handle this."
Tony stood up straight, suddenly resolute, and no longer messing with his bag. "No way, Jayne, you'll get your butt kicked. Step aside."
I was in shock for a split second. My little boy was growing up before my eyes, but there was no time to ponder and sigh. First I had to save my life and the life of my best friend.
Before shit-for-brains could get too close, I stepped out to meet him partway. That was at the curb, where luckily I gained about five inches of height, making me only a few inches shorter than him instead of, like, eight.
He launched the first volley. "You got somethin' to say, Freak?" He stopped about two inches from me and engaged me in the high school fighter's stare down. I kick ass at that, so I gave him my best stuff. I can look crazy cool with my stare down. At least I think so, but Tony says it just stops at 'crazy' and leaves out the 'cool'.
"Yeah, I got somethin' to say, Flower Boy. Go fuck yourself ... how 'bout that?"
The next thing I knew, I was back on the ground under the tree with what felt like the aftershocks of a run-in with a bull, echoing across my chest. Did he just touch my boobs? Crap, my butt is gonna be sore later. More leaves sprinkled down around me. It was starting to look like Fall in that one small space next to the sidewalk, except the leaves were green.
Before I could think anything else even more ridiculous, I heard Brad say, "Whoa, hey little dude, just chill."
This is me now: head tilted to the side, confused look of the family dog on my face ... Do I hear fear in the voice of my worstest enemy, aimed at my bestest friend?
Yes, I did. I looked over to see my beloved Tone-Tone, pointing what was definitely a real, live nine-millimeter handgun, at Brad Powers. And he did all this standing on the sidewalk. In public. Not twenty yards from the front of the school.
Chapter Two
"Tony, what the hell?!" I screamed, sounding like a freaked out girly-girl.
"Don't worry about it, Jayne; I got this one." His face was set with grim determination as he stared at Brad, the gun pointed right at his chest.
I'd never seen Tony look like that. Sweet little Tone-Tone. Shy little Tony Baloney. Frankenstein-messed-up-shoes wearing Tony Green - who right now looked very much like a small and skinny but still very badass Rambo.
"Um, Tony, I don't really know what the hell is going on right now, but you need to put that thing away ... like now!"
Brad's self-preservation instincts must have just engaged then because he chimed in with, "Yeah, Tony, you should put that away. You don't want to shoot me; you'll get kicked out of school."
Brad was nobody's dummy, apparently. I knew this line of reasoning would get to Tony for sure, or at least I thought it would.
"Screw school, and screw you too, Brad." The last word was said with such venom, even I was a little scared at this point. Who was this kid, and what had he done with my best friend?
"Brad?" I asked carefully, "What did you do to Tony?"
"Nothin'! I didn't do anything to this little nut job ... he's freakin' out! It's got nothin' to do with me!" He was trying to back up without taking his eyes off the gun.
Tony responded very coolly. "He pushed you down, Jayne; he insulted you. He treats you like you're a piece of garbage all the time. That's not nothing."
To say that I was stunned would be an understatement; but the analysis of this interesting turn of events would have to wait for a time when I wasn't actually fearing that Brad Shit-For-Brains was going to die at the hands of my best, but misguided, friend.
"Tony, dude, it's nothing; he's not wo
rth it. It doesn't bother me, I'm totally fine. Put the gun away and let's get the hell outta here."
I could see him relaxing a little bit, thinking. His grip on the gun loosened ever so slightly. Brad and I waited for Tony's next move.
"You heard her, Powers ... get the hell out." He gestured with the gun, encouraging Brad to move.
Brad didn't need to be told twice. He turned and sprinted away like I'm sure he does on the football field every week, not that I bother going to school games or anything.
Tony lowered the gun, bending over to pick up the backpack he had abandoned on the ground. He casually put the gun inside, zipping the bag up in one, quick motion.
I, on the other hand, was standing there frozen in place, still in shock over what I'd just witnessed.
"Come on, Jayne, let's go." He threw his bag over his shoulder and reached out to grab my elbow. I let him take it because my autopilot seemed to be jammed or something. It was easier at this point to let him call the shots. We walked together towards his house as my mind raced.
What the hell had just happened back there? I snuck a peek at him sideways. He still had that weird, determined look on his face, but otherwise he was old Tony Baloney in his dorky clothes again. I wasn't sure exactly what to say, and I was pretty sure I should be delicate about it, but as you probably have guessed by now, subtlety is not really my style.
"TONY!!!!" I screamed. I stopped walking, turning to face him. "WHATTHEFUCKWASTHAT??!!" I was definitely freaking out.
"Jayne, don't make a big deal out of it ... come on." He tried to urge me forward, but I wasn't having any of that crap.
"I am not leaving this spot until you tell me what the hell that was all about! I'm serious!" I crossed my arms for emphasis, as if this would scare my best bud who had now revealed himself to be some sort of commando ninja guy.
"We'll talk about it at my house, I promise. Can we just go? I don't want anyone finding me out here with this thing."
"Okay, yeah, that thing ... that thing that happens to be a gun. I could see why you wouldn't want to be caught with that." We started walking again, me filling up the empty space around us with my hysteria.
"Because that would mean you'd go to jail and leave me at this shitty school by myself with all these losers who have nothing better to do than crap on me and my friends, not to mention my mother's asshat boyfriend who ... "
Oops. I'd almost spilled the beans there. I tried for a quick recovery.
"Anyway, you need to get rid of that thing. I'll back you up if Shithead tries to turn you in or anything." I focused really hard on looking straight ahead because I knew if I looked Tony in the eyes, I'd cave.
"What are you talking about ... your mother's boyfriend? What's he got to do with anything?" he asked pretty casually, all things considered.
"Nothing ... he's got nothing to do with anything. At all. Forget I said anything." The nervousness set in, making me feel sick to my stomach.
Tony stopped walking and grabbed my arm. "Wait, Jayne, stop for a minute. We should talk about this." He was speaking softer now and sounded so ... patient. And because he was being so sweet, it made me feel even worse, not better.
I stopped walking but kept my eyes straight ahead. He used his puny muscles to push my arm back, effectively turning me around so he could see my face. I refused to meet his eyes, and he knows me well enough to know that's a dead giveaway.
"Look at me, Jayne. Come on. Talk to me about what's going on."
I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to cry, and I knew if I saw his face I wouldn't be able to hold it back. I had this secret shame thing going on that I didn't even like thinking about myself, let alone talking about with Tony.
I took a deep, calming breath. Actually, it was more a wavering breath and not so calming, but I was giving it a try anyway. "I don't wanna talk about it now ... actually not ever, really. Let's get outta here."
I turned, walking away quickly, and Tony let me go. I felt him come up beside me a few seconds later, and we continued on together in silence the rest of the way to his house. I used that time to get a grip on myself.
Mission partially accomplished, autopilot engaged.
***
Tony's place was empty as usual. His parents are workaholics; I almost never saw them. Tony's an only child who has tons of freedom and opportunity to get into trouble. Up until today, he's never taken advantage of that. I guess he was saving it all up for one, big event. With a gun.
"Wait here," said Tony, dropping his backpack on the ground inside the door. He ran upstairs to his room where I could hear him stomping around, slamming doors and scraping what sounded like furniture across the floor.
A couple minutes later he was downstairs with a bigger backpack in his arms. He dropped it next to the other one.
"Let's get something to eat."
"What's that big bag for?" I asked. "Does this have anything to do with the news you said you had, before we were accosted by Mr. Turdsville?"
He ignored me and went to the kitchen. I stared at the bag, hoping some sort of x-ray vision skills would kick in for me, but no such luck. The mystery bag stayed put, and I followed Tony to the kitchen.
When I got there, he was busy pulling things out of cabinets, laying them out on the counter.
"Um, I'm really not that hungry, Tony." I was still feeling queasy, even though the moment of madness had passed.
"That's okay, you'll be hungry later."
"Yeeaaah ... and then I'll have dinner, so I won't need all these ... " I picked up the nearest box he had set down, " ... granola power health bars."
"You're not going home for dinner," was his response.
Now I was confused and seriously concerned for my friend's mental health. Even more than I already had been.
"What do you mean, I'm not going home for dinner?"
"I mean, you're not going home for dinner. We're getting the heck outta here. We'll eat on the road."
"On the road where? What are you talking about?" I was trying to remember if we had planned on going to the library or something, but nothing was ringing a bell.
"We're leaving here, Jayne, tonight ... now ... so help me pack this stuff." He threw an empty grocery bag in my direction.
Yep. It was now confirmed. He'd definitely lost it.
"Tony, calm down. I know you're a little bit - or maybe a lot - freaked out about what happened back there with Powers, but it doesn't mean you have to leave town or anything. Don't worry, we'll figure something out. He probably won't even say anything to anyone. He won't want anyone to know you got the drop on him."
I was standing there with the empty grocery bag in my hand, hoping my words of reason were making an impact. Tony stopped waiting for me to cooperate and grabbed the bag out of my hand, filling it himself.
"Come on." He took me by the arm, and the three of us - him, me, and his bag of granola bars and juice boxes - walked quickly out of the kitchen and back to the front door by his bags. He shoved the groceries into his big bag and then unzipped his book bag. He took out the gun and threw it into the bigger bag too. He was obviously in total meltdown mode, probably worried about how he was going to be kicked out of the computer club or something.
As freaked out as I was about his behavior, I knew I couldn't leave him here like this. My best bet was to humor him until I could figure out how to calm him down. It never crossed my mind that I would be in danger from my loony friend, because that's what he was - my friend. My best friend, in fact. Today's knight-in-shining-armor-with-a-gun episode proved that.
"Okay, fine. I'm all ears. What's the plan? Where are we going?"
"Don't patronize me, Jayne, I'm serious. We're leaving here."
Hmmm. It appeared my plan wasn't working. Time to get all grown-up on his ass. I gently took his hand, lacing his fingers in mine so he'd quit stuffing things in his commando bag and look at me. He stopped with the packing, staring at our interlocked hands.
"Tony, come on. Look at
me."
His eyes remained lowered. "Jayne, I know what happened with your mother's boyfriend; I know what he's done to you. We either have to leave, or I'm going to kill him. It's that simple."
The blood drained out of my face. I dropped his hand, feeling dizzy. How did he find out? This wasn't about Brad Powers. This was about my deepest, darkest, ugliest, filthiest secret. The shame. I couldn't deal with it, not now. Not knowing that Tony knew.
I stood up quickly, meaning to leave. Tony must have known my intentions because he jumped up too and ran to the door before I could get there. He stood with his legs and arms spread out wide, his back to the door, facing me.
"I'm not letting you leave without me, Jayne. We stay together; we're a team. We can do this."
I was crying now. I couldn't help it; it was too much. My awful secret was out there, floating in the air between us - unspoken but just as big and real as if I'd vomited it out all over the floor. "We can do what, Tony? Shoot someone? Show some douchebag who's boss? Because I don't think so! I don't think that's going to work!"
He took a step towards me with the most earnest look on his face ... I could hardly stand it. "We're not going to shoot anyone, Jayne. We don't have to if we leave. But if we stay, I can't promise that won't happen; and I'd like to go to college someday, and not online while I'm wearing an orange jumpsuit, if that's okay with you."
I half choked and half laughed at the visions his words created, and couldn't help but stop crying at the idea of him in an orange jumpsuit tapping away on a huge computer from the eighties with a glowing green screen. "You'd end up being some guy's bitch for sure."
"Yeah, I know. So let's go, get your stuff." He stepped away from the door to get his big bag, leaving the book bag where it was.
For some reason, this was when it really hit me how serious he was. He wasn't taking his school stuff.
I reached down to grab my bag. "Tony?"
"Yeah, Jayne?"
"What the hell?" I searched his eyes for some explanation of what was happening.
"Don't worry, Jayne. I've got it figured out ... well, most of it anyway. We'll get the rest figured out later."
