“No!” I panicked at the thought of missing an opportunity to make progress. The only way I’d beat my nerves was to control these feelings by learning to manage them. These emotions would not win. I took a breath and started again, more calmly. “Okay, Gaige, here’s the deal. I will conquer this transition. So, how about instead of hiding me in my room, you pour some of that calm you have on me. Help me accomplish this?”
Gaige pressed his lips together in a thin line. To help me or protect me by hiding me away in some little box of a room? Which would he choose?
“Being stifled would feel worse to me than dealing with my nerves, Gaige. Much more frustrating for me and therefore more of an emotional strain.”
Gaige’s jaw tensed and the muscles and tendons in his neck corded into thin ribbons beneath his skin. I could almost see the wheels in his head spinning, trying to decide what would be less emotional for me. After what seemed like a long time, the tension in his neck released. “You’re determined to do this?”
“Yes. I am. I will beat this, and not by hiding from it.”
“Okay,” he said. “I could be enough of a buffer to help you through.” He rolled his eyes. “And I could be giving myself way too much credit. Either way, if you’re going to go full-on at this, I’m going to give you every advantage I can.”
He took a few slow, deep breaths and held his arms out to embrace me, but stopped. I hadn’t thought about how difficult this could be for a person determined to stay within platonic boundaries. He put his arms down and started over again with the deep breaths then pulled me against him, staying quiet and still. I let myself relax and be open to whatever he was sending my way. Within minutes, my nerves had settled and I was ready to take on the world. Or at least the captain of a spaceship.
“You’re good?” he asked.
“I’m good. You?”
“Yeah. Good.”
With both our statuses good and boundaries maintained, we proceeded hand in hand down the long corridor, passing several doors along the way.
“The bridge is through there,” Gaige said, as we passed one of the larger doors. “And this is the captain’s private planning room.” He pointed to the next, smaller, door. “That’s where he’ll be. We could cut through the bridge, but I think it would be best to save that for later. Are you sure you’re ready?”
I thought for only a second. “Yes, I’m ready.”
We stepped up to the door. “One moment, Gaige,” the computer voice said, and then the door slid open.
“Come in. I’ve been anxious to meet our new arrival.” Confidence boomed from the captain’s voice. It filled the entire room with his presence. His tall, muscular frame reminded me of a warrior. But his eyes twinkled with an ornery streak, just like the mischievous glint I’d seen in Gaige’s eyes. The captain’s playful personality gleamed from brown irises instead of aqua-blue, though. “Welcome aboard our ship, Victoria.”
Gaige gave my shaky hand a squeeze, bolstering my courage.
“Thank you for allowing me on board, sir,” I said.
At that moment, the computer voice permeated the room. “Sir, Chessa is requesting permission to see you.”
Gaige and the captain looked at each other in silence, like they were having some Anuan mind-meld conversation. I wondered who this Chessa was and why she was worthy of a conversation behind my back, so to speak. A jealous twinge panged my gut.
Gaige pulled me aside. “Victoria, I should have told you something. It’s just so hard to know exactly how to manage things right now.”
My heart sank. “You said you weren’t married.” Had he lied? Would he do that? Could he do that?
“No, I’m not married. Why would you think—?”
“Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?”
“No! Oh. Chessa?” Gaige smiled. “No it’s nothing like that.”
“Ex-girlfriend, then?” My voice seemed distant. Scared.
“Gaige.” The captain interrupted. “Why don’t we let Chessa in? I think you’ll love her, Victoria. It’s not what you think.”
I could handle anything but what I was thinking. I had to know for sure and the sooner, the better. “Yes, please, let her in.”
“Gaige?” The captain said.
“Uh . . .” Gaige looked at my do-as-I-say face and sighed. “Let her in.”
“Allow Chessa back,” the captain responded to the computer.
After a moment, the door slid open and a little girl with long, brown pigtails bouncing with each step, bounded into the room. Jumping into the Captain’s arms, she hugged his neck and began talking to him in Anuan.
A loud sigh escape my lips. Definitely not a girlfriend, present or past. But why did Gaige think he had to tell me something about this girl? “She’s not . . .” The tiny words, so small I could barely hear them myself, came out unintended.
“No. Not mine.” Gaige whispered. “Remember. Bonding, life commitment.”
“Right. Yes. I remember.” Remembering was something I could manage to do, apparently with some help. In this situation, the unstable emotions were playing against logic and whatever ability I’d developed to tap into my intuition, and I still couldn’t make sense of why Gaige felt he needed to tell me something about this girl.
The captain placed her on the floor and squatted down to her level. “Yes, Chessa, it is bouncy in here today. That’s because we have a Kian in our presence. How is your English?”
“Good, I think, Grandpa,” she answered, as she looked around the room, searching out the stranger.
“Uncle Gaige!” she shouted and ran to Gaige with her arms outstretched. “I heard you were back.”
Gaige lifted her up when she reached him and gave her a big hug, spinning around with her as he did. “How’s my pretty girl?”
“I’m good. We learned about Earth elephants this morning. But I would rather hear about your trip.”
“I’ll tell you all about it. First I’d like for you to meet Victoria.” Gaige turned the little girl, still in his arms, in my direction.
“I know all about you,” she said, examining me.
“We’ll talk about that later,” the captain interrupted. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to school?”
“Yes, Grandpa.”
Gaige placed the little girl onto the floor. She ran for the door, pigtails swirling.
“Love you, Grandpa. Love you, Uncle Gaige. Nice to meet you, Victoria.”
With the little girl gone as quickly as she’d arrived, I was left to catch up on their relationships. If Gaige was this girl’s uncle, and the captain was her grandfather, that meant the captain was Gaige’s father. Everything made sense now. Gaige was right. He should have told me I was meeting his father. Probably the most important man in Gaige’s life, and likely to have a critical eye on whomever Gaige might have an interest in. I felt the blood drain from my face and my anxiety level skyrocketed.
“It’s okay,” Gaige whispered in my ear.
“I hope my son is taking good care of you,” the captain said.
He had to realize my painful awareness of their relationship and seemed to be trying to smooth things along. But I couldn’t find any words to respond.
“Yes, I’m trying,” Gaige said. “I’ll be showing her around the ship today.”
“Good. Everyone on the ship will help you get acclimated,” the captain said.
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” My response sounded more like a robot than myself.
“You can call me Daigon.”
“Yes, sir. Yes, Daigon.” I wanted nothing more than to get out of there. I would have melted into the floor like the Wicked Witch of the West if I could have.
“Gaige why don’t you finish showing Victoria around?” The captain sat down behind his desk and appeared to busy himself with something.
Taking his attention away from us helped my skyrocketing nerves a little. The fact that he no longer stood so tall and intimidating helped, too.
“Yes, we have a lot
to see,” Gaige said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Nice to meet you captain, sir, uh, I mean Daigon . . .”
Gaige guided me, still stammering, from the room. But I was sure I’d be able to find a few choice words for Gaige as soon as I recovered myself.
CHAPTER 68 -
GAIGE
With each step we took away from my father’s private planning room, I felt Victoria’s anxieties turning to rage, and I prepared myself for what would come. I should have insisted on taking her back to her room when I sensed her nervousness elevating. But forcing her to do something she didn’t want to do—no, that wouldn’t have gone over well. Instead, I should have told her who she was meeting and let her decide if she wanted to go. Knowing how to best manage Victoria’s situation was not easy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded through clenched teeth.
“I understand meeting someone’s family can be a significant and nerve-wracking event to a Kian. I didn’t want to stress you with that. I planned to tell you after you met him. I’m sorry. I realize now that was a horrible decision.” I tried to take her hand in mine.
“Don’t touch me!” She jerked away and moved to the opposite side of the corridor, planting her feet hard with each step she took.
I didn’t follow her, trying to give her space. But I kept pace with her on my side. “You wanted to meet someone and he’s the most skilled person I know at blocking his energies. I thought that would be the best thing for you right now.”
“You should have told me who he was.” She continued to stomp down the corridor.
“I should have. I know that now. But I was trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need to be protected. I want to face this. I want to beat it and be done with it!”
“You do need protecting. I know you’re anxious to get past your transition, but you have to be careful. If you become too emotionally overloaded, the damage could be irrevocable. I won’t let that happen!” I had to make her understand. I crossed the corridor and grasped her arm. “Victoria, please stop. Stop and look at me.”
She came to a halt and turned in my direction, but her eyes didn’t meet mine.
“Please look at me.”
Her fists tightened so firmly that blood trickled from her palms where her nails dug into them. She had to go through this, but I couldn’t let her hurt herself. I had to find a way to calm her down. The closest door led to the smallest planning room in the bridge corridor. As a mission lead, I had access.
“Access,” I said.
Thankfully, the computer system recognized my stress-filled voice and opened. I gently pulled Victoria by the arm into the room so we’d have privacy.
“Why are we going in here?”
“Gaige, it’s Zada,” I heard through the communication device in my clothing. “We’re picking up readings from Victoria’s ship suit that her blood pressure is rising pretty rapidly.”
“Got it, Zada,” I said.
“Zada? You’re talking to Zada?” She ran to the conference table and slammed her fists down on its top over and over. “I don’t need a doctor. I can do this myself! I have to learn to control this!” Tears streamed down her flushed face.
I didn’t know whether to stop her and comfort her or let her work through her turmoil. But what if it was too much? She dropped to her knees, sobbing. I knelt down next to her. Pulling her against me as tightly as I could without hurting her, I rocked her gently.
“I want to manage this. I have to manage this.” She sputtered through her sobs.
“You will. Human minds adapt. Right now, yours is working through what’s happening to it and learning how to process the new things coming at it. We just have to be careful not to expose you to more than you can handle until that adjustment is complete.”
“You said it could be difficult. But . . .” She buried her face in my chest, her hands now relaxed. “I don’t want to be like this.”
“I know you don’t.”
She raised her bloodshot eyes. “What if this is who I’ll be here?”
“It’s not. I can separate your true essence from the turmoil you’re going through. This is only temporary. You will have peace.”
She put her arms around my waist and laid her head back against my chest. “Oh God, how could I have ever been mad at you?”
“You weren’t. Not really.”
Not loosening her grip on me, she sniffed and rubbed her cheek against her shoulder to wipe away the tears. “Gaige?”
“Yes.”
“What you’re keeping from me—it’s big, isn’t it?”
I had to be honest with her, she knew anyway. Her intuition was strong. “Yes, it’s something big.”
She closed her eyes, causing another tear to roll down her cheek. After a moment, she patted my chest, eyes still closed. “And Gaige?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“You weren’t on Earth for any scientific mission, were you?”
“No. I wasn’t.”
“Okay,” she said, quietly.
Exhausted by her episode, she peacefully fell asleep in my arms. I’d hoped she would. The incident had taken a lot out of her. Her essence was at peace, for now. I still wanted Zada to check her, though. At the very least, her hands needed mending.
“Zada?” I said, quietly.
“I’m here, Gaige.”
“Can you come to Bridge Planning Room #3, please? Victoria is sleeping now, but I’d like for you to examine her.”
When Zada arrived, she scanned Victoria, still in my arms, with her medical wand. She found that no damage had been done, but thought Victoria would sleep for a while. Zada then passed the wand over the gouges on Victoria’s palms. The caked blood disintegrated and the moist, open wounds dried and closed. The pink, crescent-shaped lines lightened, and then disappeared completely. Maybe Victoria would never realize she’d been quite so upset. Even so, she was now one step closer to the peace she deserved, and knowledge of the secret that had been kept from her for so long.
CHAPTER 69 -
LOME
Having pushed the furniture back to give me plenty of room, I sat in the middle of the floor of my dark quarters. I examined the vial of blood in my hand—my means to take General Ash's identity and deal with the scientist as an Earthling. I did not relish the thought of taking on such a disgusting form. But it was imperative to protect my true identity. The existence of the Tamanacke had to be guarded from the Anuans or any others who might be monitoring this primitive planet.
The incompetent general’s clothes sat waiting in a neat stack on a chair. Next to that, on a small side table within quick reach, lay a mirror. I laughed at the memory of the general’s colleagues dragging his worthless body away to think about what they had seen. Definitely an example set.
I drank the vial of blood. Spreading the residue around in my mouth, I willed the change to begin. The taste of human blood was one of my favorites. I savored every second of the fluid’s coppery tang while I waited for the sweet pain to overtake me.
The first twitch struck my right arm, followed by another in my left leg. My body began to spasm, flailing about on the floor. Cramps gripped my muscles, stretching and contorting them. I clutched and massaged every writhing part of my body, trying to work through the pain of transformation. My skin burned, morphing from the tough hide that protected us so well to the soft frailty of human flesh. I raised my hand in time to see my claws shrink and flatten into thin, useless sheets of keratin. After several more excruciating minutes of thrashing around on the floor in full-blown agony, the pain subsided. The metamorphosis was complete. I picked up the mirror to inspect the results and was pleased.
“Well, hello there, General Ash.”
CHAPTER 70 -
VICTORIA
After my meltdown over meeting Gaige’s father, Gaige insisted we go to the observation deck. He thought he could help me there.
When the ibbs’s doors opened, I stepped into the depth
s of space and floated among its stars. Or so it seemed. Undetectable windows—no framing, no reflections—encircled the entire observation deck. They curved up across the high ceiling to the center of the room where we stood. Nothing but the glass separated us from the universe. Gaige said the room comprised the entire top floor of the ship and was nearly a half-mile wide. Dwarfed by the universe in which I stood, the heavens called to me, pulling me forward.
“Wait a minute,” Gaige said.
“What?”
“Just one minute.” Gaige stood at a chest-level, square cubbyhole near the ibbs. He spoke a few words and, as if by magic, a blanket appeared within the hole. He removed the blanket and turned toward me. “Okay, now I’m ready. We’ll need this.”
I reached a finger toward the hole, but stopped before getting too close. “Is that a constructor?”
“Yes, this is a constructor.”
“On TV, they would call that a replicator.” I grinned up at Gaige.
“You and your television.” Gaige laughed. “Well, constructor was my translation from Anuan to English. I suppose replicator will work just as well.”
“Or your Anuan word. I can learn some more of those.”
I wondered why we needed a blanket, but with the universe calling to me I didn’t take time to ask. Nor did I care anymore what we called the cubbyhole. I moved forward, toward the edge of the room, pulling Gaige along by the hand.
As my vision adjusted to the dim light, I began to see people here and there in the darkness. Some of them gazed out into space. Some chatted with others. Some strolled around like the place belonged only to them. The massive expanse of the room allowed everyone to have their own private space, spread out far away from each other. I doubted Gaige would have brought me otherwise.
We reached the edge of the room and I stopped without a word. The pinpoints of starlight shined bright against the black backdrop—not only in whites, but yellows, oranges, reds, and even blues. Distant galaxies glowed among them, radiating their pale-yellow auras. Some lay flat, their discs no more than thin lines in the darkness. Others reached out with spiral arms like tiny pinwheels in the night. Across the scene, as if it had been swiped through with a paintbrush full of glitter, the Milky Way sparkled with grandeur.
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