by Karmon Kuhn
When she pulled away, I wanted more. The bonding process was meant to attract the human to me, but was it normal for me to be affected as well? She looked at me and smiled with a wide, earnest grin. It steadied me and allayed the fears.
***
We stayed in the park and continued talking. I was grateful for having found such a pleasant possible tsùges̈ss with which to occupy my time and was very fond of her. It was strange in the best way to skew from the solitude of my normal routines.
“Are you close with your family?” she asked at one point.
“No. Where I am from everyone collectively takes care of the children, and we spend most of our time at the education centers.”
She looked at me, clearly concerned and said, “That’s sort of sad. Where are they now?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Don’t you miss them?” she asked.
“I do miss my mother sometimes. I have pleasant memories with her,” I answered, smiling to myself. “She used to cook eggs and fish stew for celebrations, and she is the one who taught me to make jewelry. I remember the first time that she showed me how to hunt for sea glass and we nearly . . .”
I stopped myself, suddenly alarmed. On that day, my mother had been teaching me how to spot sea glass and other refuse that could be repurposed and removed from the environment. We laughed and rolled around just below the surface of the waves near shore. And then, as if out of nowhere, people arrived. We raced away and dove toward home. When we realized that no one was following, we’d laughed about it, but almost being spotted by the local humans kept my mother from the surface for a long time.
“You nearly what?”
“We almost got in trouble,” I answered and then changed the subject.
***
My skin began to prickle, long into the conversation. As I scanned the park, Penny caught sight of someone and called her over. A friend of hers, who she introduced as Delilah. At Penny’s request, Delilah stayed. Penny sat close to me with our legs touching. She smiled at me and took my hand. Dopamine exploded in my brain.
As we talked, Delilah did not share much. She often flared her nostrils when I spoke and revealed her neck or tousled her hair when Penny did. Her behavior concerned me. It was possible that Delilah was in competition for Penny’s affection. I’d need to be vigilant around her.
Even so, I was still confident and eager to see if I could pull off an early retrieval and get back home quickly. The majority of the discussion was interesting and revolved around books, pets, and the lovely weather that day until Delilah decided to finally speak at length.
She cut me short in a story and said, “Mhm. Penny, have you heard about the disappearances?”
Her sentence was punctuated with a look at me.
“No, I haven’t heard anything about that,” Penny answered, the smile disappearing from her face.
“Yeah. There are, like, 10 women so far. Most of them from the campuses.”
Penny and I looked at each other and then at Delilah, unsure of what to say in response, so Delilah continued, “I just thought you’d want to know since you study late. I’m doing a story on it for the newspaper. It’s weird because there’ve been a lot of disappearances here for the last few years. Always young women, about our age. And even though the cops and everyone are looking, no one seems to know anything. I talked to one of the girls’ friends, though, and she told me about this creepy guy with tattoos all over his arms who looked all sickly. Derek or Darrin or something like that who’d been hanging out lately. She said he looked like he was on drugs or something.”
Again, she looked at me when she finished, and a new kind of prickle spread along the back of my neck. Darius’ name came to mind. Delilah smiled as if she’d read the thought. The air was thick following the statements, and Penny squeezed my hand. I knew that I should keep my mouth shut, but I had to ask.
“Have you spoken with the police about this?”
Delilah narrowed her eyes and assessed how much she should say, then looked at Penny, “Once I know more, I’ll go to the cops, but I need to have more than some tattoos and guesses at a first name.”
At least she hadn’t notified the authorities. Could Darius really be capturing these women? Why? The rite of the trials only required a single tribute per trialist. And why were only women disappearing? Sex of tributes was only distinguished for purposes of specific research. Would the tsez̈ø really request so many females?
Around 3 o’clock, Penny startled. She was late for a class, and Delilah offered to walk her. Penny squeezed my hand and planted a soft, tender kiss on my cheek before they left. Delilah glared at me in response.
As they walked away, I overheard Delilah say, “I can’t believe you were alone with her. We talked about this! People don’t just pass out on the beach in the middle of the morning! Maybe I was wrong about her being homeless, but she could still be a drug addict! There are always needles all over that beach!”
***
Air puffed out of my lungs as I walked toward the beach. After Delilah’s comments, I was careful to watch where I stepped, but it took all of my will not to stomp through the sand. Who did she think she was? How dare she villainize me to Penny! As I reached the water, I waded again with my device. Once the screen showed a face, I spoke.
“Zhoṣuṣùssss, I was with the potential tsùges̈ss, and I received disturbing news.”
She simply adjusted in place, and I knew that she was standing taller in a stance of authority and, awaiting my reason for the call.
“There are many women disappearing in the city, and a human suggested that this might be caused by a man with tattoos on his arms who has a name like ‘Darrin’ or ‘Derek’. The other trialist at the inn is named Darius and has markings along his arms. Shall I speak with him directly?”
“No. What is the name of the human?”
“Delilah. I believe that her surname is Ramirez.”
“And what is your progress with the tsùges̈ss?”
“I have had two meals with her, and she is clearly quite interested given her body language. I think that . . .”
She cut me off to ask, “Have you ensured that she is a viable tsùges̈ss?”
“She has no visible indications of infertility or illness.”
“Do not waste time. You must check the specimen at the earliest possible opportunity.”
“Yes, Zhoṣuṣùssss,” I answered, a bit worried by the tone.
“Have you tested your materials to be sure that everything is acceptable and working properly?”
“Yes, Zhoṣuṣùssss.”
With that, we were disconnected.
Unsure of what to do after the communication, I walked along the beach to clear my head. I was unsettled by my instructor’s direction that I not speak with Darius directly. Although, surely, she knew what needed to be done.
It occurred to me that Darius might be capable of harming the humans. If he really hated them, he might capture them in excess or even hurt them for his own purposes. I shuddered at the thought.
***
After my walk, I returned to the inn, still puzzling over these issues, but my thoughts stalled when I reached my room. The door was slightly open, and I was immediately on edge. In spite of my better judgement, I entered the room hoping that it was just an employee. I slid in to find that things had been strewn across the floor and torn apart. I was thankful that I’d had my satchel with me. If not, I might have lost all of my mission materials.
I righted a lamp that had fallen to the floor and began picking up the feathers that had been pulled out of the blanket on the bed. Partway through the cleaning process, I heard a dripping sound that was out of place. I walked toward the bathroom, and found that the door was slightly ajar as the room door had been.
I braced myself and swung it open. The lights were already glaring down, so I was able to see the red smear perfectly. A trail of blood muddied
the slick white surface of the tub. Someone had tried to rinse the evidence but had given up partway through, leaving the spout dripping.
My eyes darted from wall to wall looking for the coarse towels that the inn had provided, but they were all missing. Without thinking, I left the bathroom to get the ripped cloth of the bedding and began wiping up the mess. Once the cold, metallic liquid made contact with my skin through the fabric, I froze and stared at my reddened fingertips.
To remove the plague of this violence from my body, I ran water and began to scrub until my hands felt raw and tender. I leaned against the bathroom wall and put my head in my hands. Who did that blood belong to? And how could I avoid being implicated?
A faint tinkling sound startled me out of my building panic. I followed the noise to the bed and found a device that’d slid just beneath a filleted pillow. The glass of the screen was cracked with a bloody fingerprint, and a few drops stained the carpet around it. I clicked on the screen which revealed a photo of Delilah and Penny displayed on the background along with a message alert:
Penny: Don’t be mad. I know that you’re nervous about Natalie, but I have a good feeling about her. Besides, nothing's going to happen when I have you looking out for me! :)
Chapter 8
I
was sure to clean up the mess and lock up, but I couldn’t stay in that room a minute beyond that. And when I left, I struggled to be friendly and avoid suspicion as I left the inn.
First, I went to the Mug and Muffins and bought a cappuccino. It sat untouched in front of me, but it gave me a reason to remain there. Once the night was dark outside, the attendants told me they were closing and then further had to clarify that I needed to leave. I was utterly lost, so I went back to the coast.
The night passed sleeplessly, and I twitched at every noise as I hugged my knees into my chest and leaned again the same outcropping of rocks where I’d first modified. This mission was newly complicated. I didn’t know who to trust or what to do. Especially when I was ever aware of a possible threat now.
In the morning, I went to the campus and holed up against a wall in the library. I tried to read the copy of Alice in Wonderland from the cafe, but I couldn’t focus on the words. I stared at the rows and rows of perfect volumes and wanted so badly to be swept up in their majesty. But, I just couldn’t take my mind off of the stain in that bathroom. Why was Delilah in my room? And who in the hell had found her there? What if they’d been looking for me instead? What did it all mean?
There was a tap on my shoulder. My body twitched, and I swung my arm back reflexively and hit my fist on the solid, wood wall. I expected it to hurt, but somehow, there was only thudding in my ears and red flooding in between my fingers.
“Woah! I . . . I’m sorry . . . Did I scare you?” Penny appeared from behind me with reddened cheeks.
“Yes,” I stated neutrally, drawing my hand forward.
“Are you okay? You seem upset.”
I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. Without direction, I wasn’t sure how to proceed. If I was in danger, I needed to prioritize my own safety over the mission. If Delilah was the target all along, I had no idea what that meant for my mission or Penny.
“I’m fine.” I held up a thumb for good measure, but my heart wasn’t in it.
“Okay.” Her brows were squished in the middle of her face. “There’s a party tonight at Alpha Chi Omega, and I wondered if you wanted to .”
“No. I’ll be too busy.” I said before she could finish.
“Oh . . .Okay. Maybe next time.”
She stood there for a moment and waited for something more, but I didn’t appease her. So, she walked away. As I watched her go, I was unsure of whether or not I’d behaved appropriately.
***
I spent the entire rest of the day deciding on a course of action and couldn’t think of a thing. I tapped my feet in the familiar way that my nervous tail might wag, and I found myself scratching my scalp compulsively.
After hours of useless anxiety, I decided to go to the party and find Penny. Surely if the culprit was after me, they would have found me by now! And, perhaps a good session with Penny would give me some relief. Perhaps, my mission was still something in my control.
I left the library late in the evening when they closed and asked random students around the campus where I could find Alpha Chi Omega. The party was audible from quite a distance and directions were nearly unnecessary.
Outside of a large, brick building were many young men and women socializing. Despite the chill of the evening, they wore little clothing with the men often shirtless and the women in short, tight pieces that showed a lot of their legs and breasts. Their behavior was charged with sexual rituals, and I could smell their pheromones on the breeze. There was something else about it that was strange, though. Many of them weaved back and forth and were quite loud. It was curious.
Penny didn’t appear to be outside, so I moved toward the front door and noticed many eyes on me as I entered. They sparkled as they took me in. If the mission was still viable, other candidates existed among these party-goers.
I searched through the different rooms which became more and more crowded the farther I got into the extremely large residence. At one point, I could barely move without feeling another body on mine. Hands began to hold out cups to me, and I eventually took one just so that I wouldn’t see another one in my face.
Smoke clouds rose from the mouths of several of the people that I passed, and there were spicy smells like the coffee shop and the fiery scent more like the burn pits I’d seen in India before my colony’s move. There was another smell too in some of the clouds. Something herbal and earthy that I’d never smelled before.
I trudged through the crowd and eventually happened upon Penny sitting next to a man on a plush couch. He was placing his hands on her waist, and she was trying to remove them. She didn’t appear happy to be with him, and the entirety of my body tensed and pushed my posture up straighter instinctively.
I stepped forward, stood stock straight, and demanded, “Penny, are you alright?”
She swiveled a little and almost lost her balance from her seated position. Then, wide-eyed she answered me, “I’m uh...”
I narrowed my own eyes and flared my nostrils at the man. He was also unsteady as he jumped to his feet. While sloppy, his stance was aggressive.
“What’s the problem, sweetheart? You wanna join in?” he asked and then grabbed at my behind.
I reached behind me with my left hand, clenched his wrist tightly, and twisted it until I heard a slight crackle. He grabbed at it and squinted with anger in his eyes.
"You, bitch!” he yelled and then threw his drink into my face.
I closed my eyes and wiped the putrid liquid away. When I opened them again, another male had approached him and the two were clapping each other’s hands. They were laughing in some sort of celebration.
Full of the tension of the last twenty-four hours, I charged at him and forced him to the ground. He tried to push himself up off his back, but I pinned him with my knees. He was so weak, and he hadn’t even known! It was clear in his eyes that no one had bested him before.
He struggled under my weight, and I pressed him harder against the floor. It took only one of my hands to press both of his onto the floor above his head. The power was intoxicating. An incredible release after the powerlessness that had weighed me down for the last day. I raised my fist to strike him and was encircled by a boom of chants, “Fight, fight, fight, fight!”
And then, “Nat . . . Natalie?”
Penny’s voice broke through, and I looked up at her. Her eyes mirrored his. She was terrified. I looked around at the rest of the party and saw so many other eyes on me. I’d drawn too much attention.
I stood up from my position on the floor and was greeted by cheers and laughter and boos. The weak imbecile stayed on the floor, stunned. Several of the party-goers patted me on the back or
wagged their upturned thumbs at me. Somehow, this skirmish had amused them.
I looked around for Penny, but the crowd swallowed me, making it impossible to keep up with her. The others congratulated me for losing my temper and challenging the idiot! How ignorant could they be? Disgusted, I pushed by, but it was no use. Penny was gone.
***
I pushed my way back through the crowd to the front door. Just before I exited, I saw Darius and hesitated. How likely was it that he would be at this very same party? Hadn’t he warned me against the college? Why would he risk being here? What if he’d seen the fight? I’d gone to the instructor about my suspicions against him. He would surely do the same if he had any about me.
First the hospital, then getting mixed up with Delilah, and now the fight! If my Zhoṣuṣùssss learned of this, I would surely be sent back to the homeland for reprogramming!
I needed to know what this was all about! I ducked down into some flora in front of the house and observed him. He appeared to be looking for someone and ignored the attention he received from women leaving the party.
It was some time before he moved from his spot in front of the house. Rather than returning to the inn, he walked toward the beach. I was sure to stay far behind, ducking down and stepping into dark side streets periodically. It took quite a long time, but I managed to evade detection with the few skills that I’d learned at the tsez̈ø.
Once he made it onto the sand, it became more difficult. I tried to stay low and near dark objects and then hid behind a lifeguard overlook to observe him. He waded into the water, withdrew a device from his pocket, and placed it into the waves.
All that I managed to hear was, “I have more to report on her. I will arrive soon.”
My thoughts raced. What did he have to report that would require him to return? I’d never heard of a trialist returning during their mission!
He plodded in the wet sand, coming closer, and I held my breath. My heart was beating so fast I feared it would give away my poor hiding spot. Before he reached the overlook, I heard Darius’s steps veer in another direction, and I was able to peer around and see him entering a sea cave.
